The Feedback Loop Workshop [1 Second Everyday - Oct 2019]

C35e01544a0dd94a2cf1619ee8a42ebb?s=47 Claire Lew
October 21, 2019

The Feedback Loop Workshop [1 Second Everyday - Oct 2019]

Giving and receiving feedback well are some of the most-valued – yet difficult to master – skills for any team member. After years of research across hundreds of companies in 25+ countries, Claire Lew, CEO of Know Your Team, shares the playbook for how to give and receive feedback well within your team.

Get more of our resources at http://knowyourteam.com/

C35e01544a0dd94a2cf1619ee8a42ebb?s=128

Claire Lew

October 21, 2019
Tweet

Transcript

  1. @clairejlew | THE FEEDBACK LOOP How to Give + Receive

    Honest Feedback
  2. Hi, I’m Claire Lew. @clairejlew

  3. @clairejlew

  4. None
  5. “You messed up…” “You messed up…”

  6. “You messed up…” “You’re wrong…”

  7. How do you say those things kindly yet honestly? Sound

    familiar? ;-)
  8. How do you say those things kindly yet honestly? Kind

    + Honest?
  9. How do you say those things kindly yet honestly? Receptive

    + Not defensive?
  10. It’s hard. It’s hard.

  11. 69% (Harris Poll with 2,000+ adults) of US managers say

    the hardest part of managing is “communicating with employees in general"
  12. 37% (Harris Poll with 2,000+ adults) of managers say they’re

    uncomfortable having to give direct feedback about their employees’ performance
  13. None
  14. None
  15. GIVE

  16. Kind Honest

  17. RECEIVE

  18. Receptive Non-defensive

  19. GIVE RECEIVE

  20. 1:1s

  21. Today Why this matters How to give difficult feedback well

    Key situations Q&A TODAY
  22. Today Why this matters How to give difficult feedback well

    Key situations Q&A TODAY Why it matters
  23. Today Why this matters How to give difficult feedback well

    Key situations Q&A TODAY Why it matters What gets in the way
  24. Today Why this matters How to give difficult feedback well

    Key situations Q&A TODAY Why it matters What gets in the way How to do it well
  25. None
  26. None
  27. GIVE

  28. Why does this matter?

  29. How do you say those things kindly yet honestly? Good

    leadership.
  30. 5X more effective Leaders who give honest feedback are rated

    as (Forbes 2013)
  31. How do you say those things kindly yet honestly? Engaged

    team.
  32. 3X more engaged Leaders who give honest feedback have employees

    who are (Forbes 2013)
  33. What gets in the way?

  34. Uncomfortable + Unnatural

  35. Our brains hold on to negative memories more than positive

    ones. (New York Times 2012)
  36. How do you say those things kindly yet honestly? We

    don’t like giving it…
  37. How do you say those things kindly yet honestly? …but

    our team wants honest feedback.
  38. TEND TO PREFER TEND TO AVOID 4.7 Receive negative feedback

    2.3 Receive positive feedback -2.3 Give negative feedback 0.1 Give positive feedback (Harvard Business Review 2014)
  39. TEND TO PREFER TEND TO AVOID 4.7 Receive negative feedback

    2.3 Receive positive feedback -2.3 Give negative feedback 0.1 Give positive feedback (Harvard Business Review 2014)
  40. TEND TO PREFER TEND TO AVOID 4.7 Receive negative feedback

    2.3 Receive positive feedback -2.3 Give negative feedback 0.1 Give positive feedback (Harvard Business Review 2014)
  41. How do you say those things kindly yet honestly? Our

    team wants honest feedback! REMEMBER!
  42. How do you give difficult feedback well?

  43. Don’t…

  44. DON’T Make a Shit Sandwich.

  45. Why no Shit Sandwich? Predictable Disingenuous Tuning out Predictable. WHY?

  46. Why no Shit Sandwich? Predictable Disingenuous Tuning out Predictable. Disingenuous.

    WHY?
  47. Why no Shit Sandwich? Predictable Disingenuous Tuning out Predictable. Disingenuous.

    People tune out. WHY?
  48. DON’T Blast Publicly call out someone. DON’T

  49. DON’T postpone Let something linger. DON’T

  50. Do…

  51. Come from a place of Care

  52. Make your intention clear upfront DO Make your intentions clear

    upfront.
  53. Good intentions diffuse defensiveness. Good intentions diffuse defensiveness. REMEMBER!

  54. Say: “I’m saying this because ___.” DO

  55. Come from a place of Observation

  56. Focus on observable behaviors Focus on observable behaviors. DO

  57. Focus on observable behaviors Be specific. DO

  58. Say: “When I saw you did ___, it made me

    feel ___ …” DO
  59. Come from a place of Fallibility

  60. Acknowledge it's only your opinion Acknowledge it’s only your opinion.

    DO
  61. Say: “This is just what I observed…” DO

  62. Come from a place of Curiosity

  63. Consider: “How does this person feel about my feedback? Was

    there anything I might have misinterpreted or overlooked? Is there anything that I can be doing better to help support the other Giving feedback is a conversation, not a mandate. REMEMBER!
  64. Say: “What do you think?” DO

  65. In sum…

  66. COME FROM A PLACE OF Care.

  67. COME FROM A PLACE OF Care. Observation.

  68. COME FROM A PLACE OF Care. Observation. Fallibility.

  69. COME FROM A PLACE OF Care. Observation. Fallibility. Curiosity.

  70. Other tips…

  71. Adjust your tone Ask permission. DO

  72. Acknowledge it's only your opinion Set a time to talk.

    DO
  73. Acknowledge it's only your opinion You can never control another

    person’s reaction – you can only control yourself. REMEMBER!
  74. YOUR TURN Your turn :-)

  75. “You’re wrong…” “You messed up…”

  76. Care? Observation? Fallibility? Curiosity?

  77. YOUR TURN Let’s come together.

  78. COME FROM A PLACE OF Care. Observation. Fallibility. Curiosity.

  79. None
  80. GIVE

  81. RECEIVE

  82. YOUR TURN Why matters?

  83. Echo chamber.

  84. Your reaction sets the tone.

  85. Blindspots persist.

  86. What gets in the way?

  87. Futility Truth Triggers

  88. Futility “I’m a perfectionist.”

  89. Futility Relationship Triggers

  90. Futility “I don’t trust the other person.”

  91. FutilityIdentity Triggers

  92. Futility “I conflate behavior with identity.”

  93. How do we receive feedback well?

  94. Make empathy your mission. TECHNIQUE #1

  95. Sit in silence for 3 - 4 seconds. TECHNIQUE #2

  96. Write it down. TECHNIQUE #3

  97. Assume positive intent. TECHNIQUE #4

  98. Talk less. TECHNIQUE #5

  99. YOUR TURN 3 Most-Frustrating Types of Feedback to Receive…

  100. The feedback is flat-out false. FRUSTRATING FEEDBACK #1

  101. Consider: “How does this person feel about my feedback? Was

    there anything I might have misinterpreted or overlooked? Is there anything that I can be doing better to help support the other Sit in silence. Talk less. FRUSTRATING FEEDBACK #1
  102. “Thank you… Can I think on it and get back

    to you?”
  103. The feedback is true, but poorly delivered. FRUSTRATING FEEDBACK #2

  104. Consider: “How does this person feel about my feedback? Was

    there anything I might have misinterpreted or overlooked? Is there anything that I can be doing better to help support the other Write it down. Assume positive intent. FRUSTRATING FEEDBACK #2
  105. “Thank you… I’m going to act on this. Also, not

    to detract from what you’re saying, mind if I share some thoughts on how the feedback was delivered?”
  106. The feedback is vague. FRUSTRATING FEEDBACK #3

  107. Consider: “How does this person feel about my feedback? Was

    there anything I might have misinterpreted or overlooked? Is there anything that I can be doing better to help support the other Make empathy your mission + clarify with questions. FRUSTRATING FEEDBACK #3
  108. “What would success look like…?” “Going forward, what’s one thing

    you’d like to be done differently?”
  109. Listening = Obeying Receiving = Agreeing

  110. Listening = Obeying Receiving = Obeying

  111. Listening = Obeying Receiving = Understanding

  112. YOUR TURN Your turn :-)

  113. RECEIVING FEEDBACK Write down 1 piece of feedback you’ve received

    that was hard to hear.
  114. RECEIVING FEEDBACK Why was it hard to hear? (Truth? Relationship?

    Identity?) What can you do to receive it well? (Empathy, Silence, Write, Positive Intent, Talk Less.)
  115. YOUR TURN Let’s come together.

  116. RECEIVING FEEDBACK Why was it hard to hear? (Truth? Relationship?

    Identity?) What can you do to receive it well? (Empathy, Silence, Write, Positive Intent, Talk Less.)
  117. None
  118. RECEIVE

  119. GIVE RECEIVE

  120. GIVE RECEIVE 1:1s

  121. 1:1s

  122. One-on-ones are the best opportunity to give + receive feedback

    well.
  123. of managers say that one-on-ones positively affect their team’s performance.

    89% (August 2018 survey with 531 managers and 365 employees)
  124. of employees say that one-on-ones positively affect their team’s performance.

    73% (August 2018 survey with 531 managers and 365 employees)
  125. 16 percentage point difference! (August 2018 survey with 531 managers

    and 365 employees)
  126. How do you make one- on-ones more useful for your

    team?
  127. Know the purpose. DO

  128. The #1 purpose of a one-on-one is to uncover potential

    issues.
  129. 48% of managers + 31% of employees saw this as

    the purpose of one-on-ones.
  130. 48% of managers + 31% of employees saw this as

    the purpose of one-on-ones.
  131. Make it a status update. DO NOT

  132. You’re wasting valuable time :-)

  133. Prepare ahead of time. DO

  134. of employees say their managers are NOT prepared for their

    one-on-one meetings. 41% (August 2018 survey of 518 managers and 365 employees)
  135. Managers: Decide on 1 - 3 focus areas.

  136. Questions around specific moments of energy FOCUS AREAS Concerns /

    Issues. Feedback on Performance. Career Direction. Personal Connection.
  137. Managers: Prepare 5 - 10 questions in advance.

  138. Questions around specific moments of energy FOCUS AREAS Concerns /

    Issues. Feedback on Performance. Career Direction. Personal Connection.
  139. Questions around specific moments of energy CONCERNS Is there any

    red tape you’d like to cut at the company?
  140. Questions around specific moments of energy CONCERNS When have you

    felt bored in the past quarter?
  141. Questions around specific moments of energy FEEDBACK Would you like

    more or less direction from me? Why / why not?
  142. Questions around specific moments of energy FEEDBACK Would you like

    more or less feedback from me? Why / why not?
  143. Questions around specific moments of energy CAREER Is there any

    area outside your current role where you feel you could be contributing?
  144. Questions around specific moments of energy CAREER What’s one thing

    we could do today to help you with your long-term goals?
  145. Questions around specific moments of energy CONNECTION How’s life?

  146. Questions around specific moments of energy CONNECTION What have you

    been reading lately?
  147. Prepare ahead of time. DO

  148. ICs: Prepare to share…

  149. What’s motivating to you

  150. What’s draining + demotivating to you

  151. How you want to stretch + grow

  152. Highlight what you’re grateful for about the work environment, team,

    manager, etc.
  153. Consider what’s been confusing or concerning to you at in

    the company.
  154. Suggest 1 thing that is your greatest shortcoming, and what

    you want to do to actively improve or compensate for it.
  155. ICs: Prepare 3 - 4 questions to ask.

  156. Do you see any untapped potential in the work I’m

    doing? An area you think I could be pressing a bit harder in or exploring deeper?
  157. What’s been frustrating or confusing about working with me? Where

    do you see the greatest opportunity for me to improve?
  158. What’s the biggest challenge you feel you face as a

    manager? In what ways can I be helpful in overcoming or facing that challenge?
  159. In what ways have I saved you time or made

    your job easier? What can I be doing to do more of those things?
  160. Where do you see the team or company a year

    from now, and what I can do to help make sure we achieve that vision?
  161. Questions around specific moments of energy AGENDA Catching up (5

    min.) • How’s life? Concerns / Issues (20 min.) • What advice do you have on how to handle ___? • What are your biggest time wasters? Feedback (20 min.) • How is your workload? • What about my management style can I improve? Takeaways / Next Steps (5 min.)
  162. Ask, “How can I help you?” DO NOT

  163. You’re putting the burden on the other person.

  164. Calibrate your mindset. DO

  165. Listen. Sit in Silence. Write it down.

  166. Come from a Place of Care, Observation, Fallibility, Curiosity.

  167. YOUR TURN Your turn :-)

  168. 1:1s Who’s your next one-on- one meeting with?

  169. 1:1s How might you prepare differently? What are 4 -

    6 questions you can ask them?
  170. YOUR TURN Let’s come together.

  171. 1:1s How might you prepare differently? What are 4 -

    6 questions you can ask them?
  172. 1:1s

  173. Know the purpose. Status update. Prepare. “How can I help

    you? Calibrate mindset.
  174. RECEIVE

  175. Empathy. Sit in silence. Write it down. Positive intent. Talk

    less.
  176. RECEIVE

  177. GIVE RECEIVE

  178. GIVE

  179. Care. Observation. Fallibility. Curiosity.

  180. This is hard.

  181. “I’ve got a lot of other stuff to do.”

  182. 1 SE’s culture starts with you.

  183. One last thing…

  184. Talk is nice, but action is better.

  185. YOUR TURN Your turn :-)

  186. What’s the one thing you’re going to try after the

    retreat?
  187. How can I be more helpful to you? claire@knowyourteam.com

  188. knowyourteam.com/m/code/indielove 50% exclusive to 1SE OFF

  189. Thanks, 1SE! @clairejlew

  190. You. Questions?