3-2 Expecting Obstacles - 6 min - TMM Module 3 Mon, 3/21 8:59PM 6:05 SUMMARY KEYWORDS obstacles, brain, pop, solution, oxymoron, affects, patterns, sit, prioritization, plan, pieces, decision fatigue, involves, coming, task, self regulation, meltdown, attentive, stress free environment, regulation SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:00 Welcome back to module three, we're talking about the obstacles. Now, we are going to expect obstacles because they are inevitable, they is never going to run as perfectly as we hope or plan. And when we expect those things, it makes it a lot easier because they are going to happen. It's the thing they're coming. Patricia Sung 00:23 Now a lot of the things that are going to pop up on our day are going to be out of our control, yes, there are some that we can control. And some of them may be our own doing. But a lot of them are not going to be in our control. But what is in our control is how we react to them, or how we can proactively deal with them. When we're reacting in the moment, it's taking a lot of our energy, it's using a lot of our mental capacity and creating decision fatigue. Whereas if we have a plan ahead of time, we're being proactive about it, we're making a much better decision than the frantic, like scrambling around, right. And it gives us a chance to really think about what's our what are our different options, and which one's gonna fit us the best. Patricia Sung 01:13 Most of the issues that are going to pop up are things that we can plan for. So there's some kind of solution that we can come up with ahead of time for the majority of obstacles that we're going to run into. And thankfully, just about everything is figure out a ball. And when we are expecting those obstacles to come, we have a less frazzled feeling about us because we expected them right, we knew they're coming. In those situations, when obstacles pop up that were weren't ready for, it uses even more of our executive functioning that we were already using. Patricia Sung 01:57 

Patricia Sung 01:57 So if you are not familiar with the different pieces of executive functioning, you can head over to the podcast, I have a ton of episodes on them. They're all roughly between 62 and 73. Not all of those episodes are about executive function, but they're all in that range. And we talk about all of these different pieces, when we think about the obstacles that pop up, it is affecting our transitions. So our ability to change what we're doing from one task to another, like being able to move from doing this thing to doing that thing. Patricia Sung 02:27 It affects our flexibility, because in some ways, we can be very flexible in other ways, we are extremely inflexible. It affects all of the different regulations, our energy regulation, our emotional regulation, or self regulation, because we are now having to deal with our emotions about the situation along with the situation involves our prioritization. So all of a sudden, we're playing whack a mole, prioritization of like, whatever pops up first, instead of dealing with what really matters first, because that involves planning, which is also hard for us. Patricia Sung 03:01 It involves like our task initiation and being able to switch and start that new task rather than just like stall out from what we were doing. So all of these pieces of our brain that struggle are affected when we hit these obstacles. So knowing that they're coming creates just a more like calm and what's the word I'm looking for? stress free environment for us to really think about these different choices that we could be making. Patricia Sung 03:32 Now, also, when we think about these, the obstacles that are coming up, when we look at those thinking about this and having an awareness about it allows our brain to start to marinate on what are the patterns happening, what are the solutions I can come up with. And it lets our brain have time to start to think on these things. Because we're kind of an oxymoron, where sometimes we're so oblivious to what's going on. And other times we are so attentive to little details and picking up like reading the room or reading, like behind what people are saying and like really, like into their hearts like it, we feel like an oxymoron because like we don't catch the patterns right away. But a lot of times when we stop and think about, okay, what am I noticing this issue popping up over and over again. Patricia Sung 04:20 Sometimes it's as simple as, oh, we're having a meltdown after school pickup every day, because my kid is hungry. If I just hand him a granola bar in the car, we can get home it without the meltdown. So when we can see those patterns, it makes the solution a lot easier to figure out. But we need that space to let our brain sit on it and start to filter through and find that pattern. We also need to give our brains that space to think on the possible solutions becausein the moment, we're just like trying to frantically pick something like whatever works, just give me an answer, right? Whereas if we give our brains that space to think about it, then 

That's when our brain can start to come up with what is really like the best solution for that option. And it doesn't even have to be like the perfect solution, but it's a better solution that we can try out. Patricia Sung 05:11 See, Hey, did this work? No, or maybe just or okay, this this is like passable for now, I'm good with where we are right? So gives our brain that time to kind of sit on it and think about what the options are. And a lot of times is going on in the background. But we do want to give ourselves some like white space in our day to, you know, a few minutes of quiet, whether that's like, while you're sitting waiting on something, or, you know, in the bathroom, like wherever you have a few minutes of quiet, where you can think on these things without all of the noise around you like not to say that you need to sit there and like ponder it for like four hours like we're not meditating 100 years on us. Just give your brain a few minutes to sit and think about these things. Patricia Sung 06:00 So that's going to be part of one of your activities coming up in just a second.