Given incredible powers from the hope and strength of those battling cancer, a mild-mannered volunteer was transformed into a superhero known as Bash. Previously... Having successfully defeated the SCARE’s cohorts— the SNACKER, INERTIA, and the TOBACCONIST—BASH faced a terrorist called “HAZARDO” who was working in league with MADAME U-V. Although the hero foiled the villains’ plans, he was ambushed by another of the SCARE’s men known as “DR. HELIX.” GRAVE MATTERS Chapter Six: 

the doctor knows we are down in numbers, U-V. i don’t get it. we’ve captured BASH and his bird. what do we need her for? hazardo is right. snacker, inertia, and tobacconist are gone. so you genetically engineered a monster to show off your handiwork, helix. oh, she is just one of many monsters i’ve made. she is the prettiest by far— my glucose medusa. i call her sweet fang. her bite is deadly. increased glucose and insulin are factors in risks for breast cancers and rapid cell growth of tumors. beautiful and alert. she already senses our prisoner is awake. 

and me. quite perceptive, hero. sweet fang will see that you don’t escape my anti- gravity chamber. welcome back to the land of the living, BASH. where am i? madame u-v? harzardo? dr. eugene helix. “the greatest genetic scientist of all time.” thanks for the intro doc. i’m guessing “lady gummi-worm” is your doing. this will allow us to move forward with phase 2 of the scare’s plan. 

call them what you will, hazardo... besides, my human papilloma monsters aren’t ready, yet. nice of your creators to give us some alone time. what? those hideous beasts you have down below? i’ll stick with technology! now, to dismantle BASH’s bird... why is the scare taking all the credit? true. he’d be nothing without my creatures. at this stage, they’re too unpredictable– cultivated from sexually transmitted viruses. but come along you two. we have work to do. i guess you’ll be keeping an eye-or two- on me. this glass seems pretty unbreakable. and this anti-gravity ray seems pretty determined to keep me off the floor. which means... 

and creepy monsters?! ...that it... well, looks like we got us a party! last stop! basement- housewares, appliances... ...must be... ...the way... ...out! i did not see that coming! i’d actually love to stay but i probably should get going. a hero’s work is never done. i’ve got to go stop your parents from trying to take over the city. 

who are... not shooting really- ”vaccinating.” BASH! get down! don’t let those things touch you! it’s really the best way to prevent cancer stemming from human papillomavirus. helix is mutating those creatures using hpv. WHOA! what are you shooting the place up for? i’m elle, a cancer research scientist. a pistol-packing physician? it may seem controversial, but it’s the only way we can stop helix, hazardo, and u-v. 

then let’s go get the bad guys. sugar, i hope you’re not planning to bite me. these villains plan to use my research to unleash dangerous chemicals and viruses on the city. i’m... melting... what is it dr. elle? the best way to manage out-of-control glucose is with insulin. oh, man! i almost forgot about sweetness here. thanks for the help, doc. 

should i be concerned that you have a shot for everything? oh no! we’re too late! we’ll have a stickier situation if we don’t find out what helix is up to. i found them. i thought making bad puns was the hero’s job... greetings. i am dr. helix. my companions and i have invited you to gaze in awe and wonder. behold radonn! and he’s about to make today’s half-time show the biggest red bash of all time! to be continued...