THE ART OF ASS-KICKING Jason Shen HOW TO BE CHARMING Highlights from The Charisma Myth 

Jason Shen THE ART OF ASS-KICKING 4.5 stars 106 reviews on Amazon.com 

Jason Shen THE ART OF ASS-KICKING PRESENCE WARMTH POWER Friend or Foe? Fight or Flight? Focused or Distracted? WHAT IS CHARISMA? Charisma is not an innate quality, but a skill that can be developed and centers around 3 core qualities ADAPTED FROM THE CHARISMA MYTH BY OLIVIA FOX CABANE 

Jason Shen THE ART OF ASS-KICKING Warmth Goodwill toward others. Being willing to use your power in aid of others. Presence Moment to moment awareness of what’s happening in the current interaction Power Ability to affect the world via influence, authority, resources, expertise, social status, etc THE 3 ELEMENTS OF CHARISMA ADAPTED FROM THE CHARISMA MYTH BY OLIVIA FOX CABANE 

Jason Shen THE ART OF ASS-KICKING ♦ Close eyes & relax. ♦ Recall past experience where you felt total triumph, ex: the day you won a contest or award. ♦ Hear sounds in the room: murmurs of approval, swell of applause. ♦ See ppl’s smiles & expressions of admiration. ♦ Feel the congratulatory hugs & handshakes. ♦ Above all, experience your feelings, the warm glow of confidence rising within you. ADAPTED FROM THE CHARISMA MYTH BY OLIVIA FOX CABANE VISUALIZE FOR POWER To project power, you must exude confidence. Best way to gain that feeling is through visualization. 

Jason Shen THE ART OF ASS-KICKING ADAPTED FROM THE CHARISMA MYTH BY OLIVIA FOX CABANE WARMTH & PRESENCE EXERCISES Warmth: Angel Wings Pretend the person you are talking to has invisible angel wings floating behind you. Sounds crazy but apparently this works! Warmth: Last Day on Earth Good for people you dislike: imagine this is their last day alive — wouldn’t you have more compassion? Presence: Meditation & Sensory Awareness This is all about attention management. Notice when you get distracted and train yourself to return to the present moment. 

Jason Shen THE ART OF ASS-KICKING Self Doubt OBSTACLES TO CHARISMA Anxiety from uncertainty Physical discomfort Dissatisfaction by comparison Self Criticism Many things can derail you from being charismatic ADAPTED FROM THE CHARISMA MYTH BY OLIVIA FOX CABANE 

Jason Shen THE ART OF ASS-KICKING 2. Neutralize Negativity Don’t assume your negative thoughts are accurate. Note that the worst-case-scenario probably isn’t that bad. 3. Rewrite Reality Decide to change your belief about what happened (i.e.“cognitive reappraisal”). Imagine an alternate reality where this is the best thing that could have ever happened. 1. Destigmatize Discomfort Understand that your bad feelings are natural, normal and happen to everyone, nothing to be ashamed about. OVERCOMING OBSTACLES ADAPTED FROM THE CHARISMA MYTH BY OLIVIA FOX CABANE 

Jason Shen THE ART OF ASS-KICKING I highly recommend this book. Cabane is an experienced executive coach who trains people on developing and managing charisma. Her book has tons of great, real-world examples, practical exercises and based on current research in social psychology. Check it out on Amazon (referral link) Read more stuff from me on: The Art of Ass-Kicking SUMMARY