@kwugirl Ask vs. Guess Cultures KWu, an Ask Culture person Software Engineer 

@kwugirl 

@kwugirl You 

@kwugirl You Jamie 

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor 

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor 

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor Can Taylor stay with you? 

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor ? 

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor I’ll just tell them no. 

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor or 

@kwugirl You Jamie Taylor Ugh, this puts me in a difficult position. 

@kwugirl “I’ll just tell 
 them no.” “Ugh, this puts me in a difficult position.” Ask Culture Guess Culture 

@kwugirl litmus test overview of cultures a few examples pros/cons further considerations strategies for handling work situations 

@kwugirl litmus test overview of cultures a few examples pros/cons further considerations strategies for handling work situations overview of cultures 

@kwugirl 

@kwugirl it’s OK to ask for anything + you’re OK getting ‘no’ for an answer ASK 

@kwugirl avoid asking unless the answer will be yes GUESS 

@kwugirl extend out delicate feelers GUESS 

@kwugirl don’t have to explicitly ask GUESS 

@kwugirl if you accept, are you imposing too much? GUESS 

@kwugirl putting others in the position of having to say ‘no’ seems rude GUESS 

ASK GUESS 

ASK GUESS Northeast Pacific Northwest Midwest 

ASK GUESS Northeast Pacific Northwest Midwest 

@kwugirl one culture ≯ another culture 

@kwugirl litmus test overview of cultures a few examples pros/cons further considerations strategies for handling work situations a few examples 

@kwugirl “The Seattle No” https://medium.com/lessons-learned/the-seattle-no-177091f864a4 

@kwugirl Hey, I’m going to this party, do you want to come? 

@kwugirl Hmm that sounds interesting, I’ll have to check. 

@kwugirl or 

@kwugirl Oh yeah, maybe… 

@kwugirl Oh yeah, maybe… + don’t hear from them again about it 

@kwugirl THIS MEANS NO. 

@kwugirl THIS MEANS NO. (not obvious to all of us) 

@kwugirl 

@kwugirl “Hmm, I don’t have time to make 
 lunch for next week.” 

@kwugirl “Hmm, I don’t have time to make 
 lunch for next week.” Dan hears 

@kwugirl “Hmm, I don’t have time to make 
 lunch for next week.” “Could you make extra food so I have lunch for the week?” Dan hears 

@kwugirl “I’m going to cook 2 meals this 
 weekend.” 

@kwugirl “I’m going to cook 2 meals this 
 weekend.” I think 

@kwugirl “I’m going to cook 2 meals this 
 weekend.” “That’s so weird, Dan’s planning to make an extra meal this weekend, but ok.” I think 

@kwugirl “I’m going to cook 2 meals this 
 weekend.” “That’s so weird, Dan’s planning to make an extra meal this weekend, but ok.” What I did not say: 
 “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” I think 

@kwugirl End Result 

@kwugirl End Result “Why do we have so much food in the fridge??” 

@kwugirl End Result “Why do we have so much food in the fridge??” 

@kwugirl End Result “Why do we have so much food in the fridge??” “I’m such a good husband.” 

@kwugirl litmus test overview of cultures a few examples pros/cons further considerations strategies for handling work situations pros/cons 

@kwugirl Ask Culture 

@kwugirl Ask Culture Prioritizes efficiency 

@kwugirl Ask Culture Prioritizes efficiency No ambiguity 

@kwugirl Ask Culture Prioritizes efficiency No ambiguity Gets what you want
 (in the short-term) 

@kwugirl Ask Culture Prioritizes efficiency No ambiguity Gets what you want
 (in the short-term) More open conflict 

@kwugirl Ask Culture Prioritizes efficiency No ambiguity Gets what you want
 (in the short-term) More open conflict Can make people feel uncomfortable 

@kwugirl Guess Culture 

@kwugirl Guess Culture Prioritizes not 
 hurting feelings 

@kwugirl Guess Culture Prioritizes not 
 hurting feelings More polite 

@kwugirl Guess Culture Prioritizes not 
 hurting feelings More polite Hard if you’re bad at 
 reading social cues 

@kwugirl Guess Culture Prioritizes not 
 hurting feelings More polite Hard if you’re bad at 
 reading social cues Can feel like no one is listening to you 

@kwugirl litmus test overview of cultures a few examples pros/cons further considerations strategies for handling work situations further considerations 

@kwugirl 

@kwugirl personality family __context__ 

@kwugirl women 

@kwugirl women “abrasive” 

@kwugirl women “abrasive” “timid” 

@kwugirl ??? 

@kwugirl family 

@kwugirl family work 

@kwugirl how well you know someone ??????? stranger BFF 

@kwugirl litmus test overview of cultures a few examples pros/cons further considerations strategies for handling work situations strategies for handling 

@kwugirl If you’re from Ask Culture… 

@kwugirl If you’re from Ask Culture… Make a Guess Culture close friend 

@kwugirl If you’re from Ask Culture… Make a Guess Culture close friend Listen more closely 

@kwugirl If you’re from Ask Culture… Make a Guess Culture close friend Listen more closely Apologize if you realize >1 interpretation 

@kwugirl If you’re from Guess Culture… 

@kwugirl If you’re from Guess Culture… Remember that people might be 
 unaware of “the rules” 

@kwugirl If you’re from Guess Culture… Remember that people might be 
 unaware of “the rules” Resist the urge to “soften” a “No” 

@kwugirl litmus test overview of cultures a few examples pros/cons further considerations strategies for handling work situations work situations 

@kwugirl discuss communication styles 

@kwugirl “It really helps me to get near-realtime feedback.” 

@kwugirl “Sometimes I have trouble speaking up, it would really help if…” 

@kwugirl “We have a few options that work, A/B/C. Let me know!” 

@kwugirl Ask Manager & Guess Report 

@kwugirl Ask Manager & Guess Report positive reinforcement for saying “no” 

@kwugirl Ask Manager & Guess Report positive reinforcement for saying “no” be extremely wary of giving illusion of choice 

@kwugirl Ask Manager & Guess Report positive reinforcement for saying “no” be extremely wary of giving illusion of choice don’t default processes to people needing to ask 

@kwugirl Ask Manager & Guess Report positive reinforcement for saying “no” be extremely wary of giving illusion of choice don’t default processes to people needing to ask PAY ATTENTION 

@kwugirl “Hey, remember when we talked about how I should be more assertive? Well, _____” 

@kwugirl use this talk as an excuse! 

@kwugirl “I went to this amazing talk at Write/Speak/Code…” 

@kwugirl getting/giving help 

@kwugirl discuss with mentors 

@kwugirl 

@kwugirl “I’m not sure I understand
 this feature.” 

@kwugirl “I’m not sure I understand
 this feature.” (“Can someone help me?”) 

@kwugirl don’t assume 
 silence == ok 

@kwugirl “Do you have any questions for me?” 

@kwugirl “Where can I help more, ___, ___, or ___?” 

@kwugirl pairing 

@kwugirl pairing retro 

@kwugirl “I’m not sure I absorbed enough out of that last pairing session.” 

@kwugirl “What would work better?” 

@kwugirl “We were kind of in an exploratory
 phase…maybe next time we can save pairing for later?” 

@kwugirl “Hey, I have a question, but
 it’s totally ok to say no.” 

@kwugirl “Hey, I have a question, but 
 it’s totally ok to say no.” 

@kwugirl “Hey, I have a question, but 
 it’s totally ok to say no.” 

@kwugirl “Hey, I have a question, but 
 it’s totally ok to say no.” 

@kwugirl “it’s ok if you’re busy…” “Hey, I have a question, but 
 it’s totally ok to say no.” 

@kwugirl “it’s ok if you’re busy…” “I understand if you’re busy…” “Hey, I have a question, but 
 it’s totally ok to say no.” 

@kwugirl be thoughtful, help each other 

@kwugirl if you have any questions… 

@kwugirl just ask. ;) 

@kwugirl just ask. ;) 

@kwugirl just ask. ;) 

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