CULTIVATING EMPATHY
Emma Jane Hogbin Westby
www.gitforteams.com
@emmajanehw
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YESTERDAY...
• Sit beside someone and work together (pair programming).
• Distributed teams: be explicit in communicating your
feelings, especially in text.
• Trust is earned, not bought or given.
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OUTCOMES
• Improve team cohesion.
• Engineer successful (human interaction) outcomes.
• Improve capacity for diverse thinking.
• Foster creative problem solving.
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Actually, this talk is titled...
A primer on how
I taught myself to be more empathetic.
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THIS IS A TOUCHY
FEELY WOO WOO TALK.
Sorry. Not Sorry.
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Temple Grandin
Normal people have an incredible
lack of empathy.
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No content
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DEFINE: EMPATHY
The ability to understand and share
the feelings of another.
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DEFINE: SYMPATHY
The feelings of pity and sorrow
for someone else's misfortune.
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PRACTICING EMPATHY
Level 1: Care just enough to learn more about a person’s life.
Level 2: Use thinking strategies to structure interactions.
Level 3: Engage with the world from another’s perspective.
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LEVEL 1.
CARING JUST ENOUGH
Difficulty — Beginner
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Molly Ringwald
Compartmentalisation is way overrated.
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REWARDS & RISKS
Improve team cohesion.
Requires a time investment.
CARING JUST ENOUGH
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COLLECT STORIES.
Learn about people by asking them questions.
CARING JUST ENOUGH
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STFU AND LISTEN.
Listen until there is no more story. Respond.
CARING JUST ENOUGH
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REFER BACK.
Follow-up on a previous story.
CARING JUST ENOUGH
CREATIVE THINKING
brainstorm
challenge
reframe
envision
flow
flash of insight
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RECOGNISE
CREATIVE LANGUAGE
Can we try ...
I know we’re done, but what about ...
OMG! I just had this great idea ...
Why do you think ...
Is this the best we can do ...
RECOGNISE
UNDERSTANDING LANGUAGE
So what you’re saying is ...
Just to clarify ...
I think this is related to ...
So I made this spreadsheet ...
That must feel horrible!
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DECISION THINKING
validate
values-driven
experience
crux
gut instinct
conclude
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RECOGNISE
DECISION LANGUAGE
I’m ready to move on to ...
I don’t know why I think this, but ...
Last time we tried this ...
The real problem is ...
My gut tells me ...
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CREATE OUTCOME-
BASED INTERACTIONS.
THINKING STRATEGIES
Help me help you.
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Emma’s
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LEVEL 3.
IMAGINATION
Difficulty — Advanced
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REWARDS & RISKS
Foster creative problem solving.
Potentially overwhelming.
Can cause doubt for self-worth.
IMAGINATION
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SEEK TO UNDERSTAND.
Complain about yourself from the other’s perspective.
IMAGINATION
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SEEK TO EXPERIENCE.
Live your day through the other’s constraints.
IMAGINATION
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Bob Wiele
The thinking process
should be no more left to chance
than the deliberate practice of a skill.
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EMPATHY
PRACTITIONERS
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IN SUMMARY
• Level 1: Care just enough.
Improve team cohesion.
• Level 2: Structure interactions.
Engineer successful (human interaction) outcomes.
Improve capacity for diverse thinking.
• Level 3: Use another’s perspective.
Foster creative problem solving.
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Maya Angelou
I think we all have empathy.
We may not have enough courage to display it.
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PRACTICE AND CULTIVATE
EMPATHY
follow-up:
@emmajanehw
emma @ git for teams.com
gitforteams.com/resources/cultivating-empathy.html