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Delivering (and requesting) feedback Lara Hogan, Coach + Trainer wherewithall.com

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What was a recent ‘Hulk’ moment?

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Brain Chemistry

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Don’t worry, I got this!

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6 Core Needs palomamedina.com/biceps/

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Belonging Community, connection 1

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Flickr: whisperwolf

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Improvement/ Progress Progress towards purpose, improving the lives of others 2

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Choice Flexibility, autonomy, decision-making 3

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Equality/Fairness Access to resources & info, equal reciprocity 4

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Predictability Resources, time, direction, future challenges 5

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Significance Status, visibility, recognition 6

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Belonging Improvement/Progress Choice Equality/Fairness Predictability Significance

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Knowing and addressing someone’s core needs is a shortcut to making them feel understood and valued. And understanding core needs is especially important right now.

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Credit: Paloma Medina

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Humans are bad at feedback

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We can get better at giving and receiving feedback.

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Good feedback is specific and actionable.

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Feedback equation

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observation of a behavior ● Just the facts! ● No assumptions of why they’re doing it ● No opinions or judgments of this behavior

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observation of a behavior impact of behavior + ● Choose an impact they care about ● Make it measurable

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observation of a behavior impact of behavior question or request + +

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observation of a behavior impact of behavior question or request + +

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observation of a behavior impact of behavior open question + + (To ensure we’re talking about the same thing) (To align on the end goal, and motivate change) (To turn this into a two-way dialog, not a one-way brain dump)

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Bottom-line it.

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It can really help to practice giving feedback

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Ask about others’ preferred feedback medium and timing

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Remember to give positive feedback too!

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Prep your own brain to receive feedback.

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Have a back-pocket script.

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Eject button + Next step

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Hot Potato: What’s one takeaway you have? 30 seconds (Then pick the next person!)

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Resistance → Data BONUS MATERIAL!

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Most common responses when a threat is detected BONUS MATERIAL!

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Common forms of resistance: Doubt Avoid Fight Bond Escape-route BONUS MATERIAL!

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1. Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight 4. Bond 5. Escape-route }Data BONUS MATERIAL!

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Knowing and addressing someone’s core needs is a shortcut to making them feel understood and valued. BONUS MATERIAL!

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How do we recover when we amygdala-hijack someone? BONUS MATERIAL!

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Have a back-pocket script: Eject button + next step BONUS MATERIAL!

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“What I learned…” “What I’ll do…” BONUS MATERIAL!

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“I see now that when ______ happened, we messed with ______. What if next time, we instead try ___________?” BONUS MATERIAL!

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Caveat The goal is not 100% consensus 100% of the time BONUS MATERIAL!

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Requesting feedback as a manager or leader BONUS MATERIAL!

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“Is there anything I can be doing differently or better?” BONUS MATERIAL!

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“I wanted to get your thoughts on my email last week. What did you read in it? What could I have said better?” BONUS MATERIAL!

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With your mouthwords: ● Acknowledge the power dynamic (if you’re a manager/leader) ● Acknowledge whenever you’ve messed something up BONUS MATERIAL!

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“Here are some avenues to give me feedback; choose whichever feels most comfortable” BONUS MATERIAL!