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A Book Nerd’s
Guide to JavaScript
@angustweets
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Practical, Useful, Mind
Numbingly Boring
Nonsensical
Work of Genius
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What can Literature teach us about
Programming?
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Great literature is the creation of
open minds
As programmers our focus can be
very narrow
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We’re encouraged to follow
only one style…
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Actual excerpts from:
Google Style Guide
AirBnb Style Guide
JavaScript Garden
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We’re left with only one way to get
from A to B :(
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Literature is about
embracing the entire language
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When programmers embrace the entire
language we get choices…
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"There are indeed many ways to do the
same thing in JS. That's one of the
beauties of the language"
- Peter van der Zee (@kuvos)
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(at least until the
JavaScript Police
get here)
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Perhaps most importantly…
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…Open Minds
keep JavaScript fun.
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This one just follows
The Good Parts
These two learn by
experiment
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As programmers we’re not encouraged
to experiment
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Yet experiment is what keeps
JavaScript alive
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“You need a lot of bad code to write
good code” - Substack (dotJS 2014)
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‣ if(!!x)
‣ fn && fn()
‣ immediately invoked functions
‣ module pattern
‣ promises
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I decided to take experiment to the next
level…
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Wait What?
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Twenty Five Authors solving
Five JavaScript Problems
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Hemingway developed the
Iceberg Theory
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Here is Hemingway’s Iceberg Theory
applied to JavaScript…
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(weird shit)
(Deceptively Familiar
Syntax)
(weird shit) JavaScript
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(weird shit)
JAVA!!
(Deceptively Familiar
Syntax)
(weird shit) JavaScript
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(weird shit)
JAVA!!
But Easier!!
(Deceptively Familiar
Syntax)
(weird shit) JavaScript
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(weird shit)
JAVA!!
But Easier!!
(Deceptively Familiar
Syntax)
(weird shit)
WTF?
JavaScript
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Generate Prime Numbers
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// A succession of creatures mount the stairs;!
// each creature's stride exceeds that of its predecessor!
var monstersAscendingAStaircase = function(numberOfSteps) {!
var stairs = []; stepsUntrodden = [];!
var largestGait = Math.sqrt(numberOfSteps);!
for (var i = 2; i <= largestGait; i++) {!
if (!stairs[i]) {!
for (var j = i * i; j <= numberOfSteps; j += i) {!
stairs[j] = 'stomp';!
}!
}!
}!
!
// Long-limbed monsters won't tread on prime numbered stairs.!
for (var i = 2; i <= numberOfSteps; i++) {!
if(!stairs[i]) {!
stepsUntrodden.push(i);!
}!
}!
!
// Here, then, is our answer.!
return stepsUntrodden;!
};!
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1
2
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2
3
Borges vs. Prime
Numbers
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function downTheRabbitHole(growThisBig) {!
var theFullDeck = Array(growThisBig);!
var theHatter = Function('return this/4').call(2*2);!
var theMarchHare = Boolean("The frumious Bandersnatch!");!
!
var theVerdict = "the white rabbit".split(/the march
hare/).slice(theHatter);!
!
//into the pool of tears...!
eval(theFullDeck.join("if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {\!
theMarchHare = 1;\!
theVerdict.push(theHatter);\!
" + theFullDeck.join("theFullDeck[++theMarchHare *
theHatter]=true;") + "}")!
);!
!
return theVerdict;!
}!
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function downTheRabbitHole(growThisBig) {!
var theFullDeck = Array(growThisBig);!
var theHatter = Function('return this/4').call(2*2);!
var theMarchHare = Boolean("The frumious Bandersnatch!");!
!
var theVerdict = "the white rabbit".split(/the march
hare/).slice(theHatter);!
!
//into the pool of tears...!
eval(theFullDeck.join("if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {\!
theMarchHare = 1;\!
theVerdict.push(theHatter);\!
" + theFullDeck.join("theFullDeck[++theMarchHare *
theHatter]=true;") + "}")!
);!
!
return theVerdict;!
}!
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function downTheRabbitHole(growThisBig) {!
var theFullDeck = Array(growThisBig);!
var theHatter = Function('return this/4').call(2*2);!
var theMarchHare = Boolean("The frumious Bandersnatch!");!
!
var theVerdict = "the white rabbit".split(/the march
hare/).slice(theHatter);!
!
//into the pool of tears...!
eval(theFullDeck.join("if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {\!
theMarchHare = 1;\!
theVerdict.push(theHatter);\!
" + theFullDeck.join("theFullDeck[++theMarchHare *
theHatter]=true;") + "}")!
);!
!
return theVerdict;!
}!
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!
new Array(5).join('A' + new Array(5).join('a'));!
!
>!
!
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new Array(5).join("A" + new Array(5).join('a'));!
!
> "AaaaaAaaaaAaaaaAaaaa"!
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function downTheRabbitHole(growThisBig) {!
var theFullDeck = Array(growThisBig);!
var theHatter = Function('return this/4').call(2*2);!
var theMarchHare = Boolean("The frumious Bandersnatch!");!
!
var theVerdict = "the white rabbit".split(/the march
hare/).slice(theHatter);!
!
//into the pool of tears...!
eval(theFullDeck.join("if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {\!
theMarchHare = 1;\!
theVerdict.push(theHatter);\!
" + theFullDeck.join("theFullDeck[++theMarchHare *
theHatter]=true;") + "}")!
);!
!
return theVerdict;!
}!
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eval(“if(!theFullDeck[++theHatter]){theMarchHare=1;theVerdict.push(theHatter);theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;}if(!theFullDeck[+
+theHatter]){theMarchHare=1;theVerdict.push(theHatter);theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;}if(!theFullDeck[+
+theHatter]){theMarchHare=1;theVerdict.push(theHatter);theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;}if(!theFullDeck[+
+theHatter]){theMarchHare=1;theVerdict.push(theHatter);theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;}if(!theFullDeck[+
+theHatter]){theMarchHare=1;theVerdict.push(theHatter);theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;}if(!theFullDeck[+
+theHatter]){theMarchHare=1;theVerdict.push(theHatter);theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[+
+theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;theFullDeck[++theMarchHare*theHatter]=true;}”);!
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eval(“if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {!
theMarchHare = 1;!
theVerdict.push(theHatter);!
theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;!
theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;!
theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;!
theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;!
theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;!
theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;!
}!
if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {!
theMarchHare = 1;!
theVerdict.push(theHatter);!
theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;!
theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;!
theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;!
theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;!
theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;!
theFullDeck[++theMarchHare * theHatter] = true;!
}!
if (!theFullDeck[++theHatter]) {!
theMarchHare = 1;!
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Alice in Prime
Numberland
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Alice in Prime
Numberland
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Alice in Prime
Numberland
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Alice in Prime
Numberland
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Alice in Prime
Numberland
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Alice in Prime
Numberland
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Alice in Prime
Numberland
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Alice in Prime
Numberland
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Alice in Prime
Numberland
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Alice in Prime
Numberland
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Alice in Prime
Numberland
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So what did we learn?
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Playing is Learning
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Self-taught programmers are often the
best programmers because they get to
make mistakes
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Experiment, Play, Have Fun and Keep
an Open Mind.
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Fin, merci!
@angustweets
anguscroll.com/hemingway
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Books: http://pixgood.com/classic-book-spines.html/
Montparnasse Tower: http://allparisguides.com
Eiffel Tower:
Yellow Monster: http://content.mycutegraphics.com/
Green Monster: http://wondersofdisney2.yolasite.com/
White Rabbit: http://www.clker.com/
Mad Hatter, March Hare: http://wondersofdisney2.yolasite.com/
Cow, tree, office buildings: clipartpanda.com/
Grass: imgarcade.com/
Lion cubs: https://www.flickr.com/photos/mbiddulph/6947067048/
Cheetah cubs: http://www.bhmpics.com/view-cheetah_cubs_playing-1920x1080.html/
!
Image credits