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HOWTO EMPATHY Emma Jane Hogbin Westby @emmajanehw #humanops

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A primer on how I taught myself to
 be more empathetic.

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MY AGENDA I want to help you to: Improve your team’s cohesion. Design interactions to get outcomes you need. Diversify how you think. Solve hard problems.

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THE BASICS Sympathy, Empathy, and Normal People

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DEFINE: SYMPATHY The feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.

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DEFINE: EMPATHY The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

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Temple Grandin Normal people have an incredible lack of empathy.

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PRACTICING EMPATHY Level 1: Care just enough to learn more about a person’s life. Level 2: Use thinking strategies to structure interactions. Level 3: Engage with the world from another’s perspective.

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LEVEL 1. CARING JUST ENOUGH Difficulty — Beginner

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REWARDS & RISKS Improves team cohesion. Requires a time investment. CARING JUST ENOUGH

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ASK QUESTIONS. Talk to people and collect their stories. CARING JUST ENOUGH

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GIVE ATTENTION. If you are thinking about your response, you are not truly listening. CARING JUST ENOUGH

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REFER BACK. Ask about stories you’ve previously collected. CARING JUST ENOUGH

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LEVEL 2. THINKING STRATEGIES Difficulty — Intermediate

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REWARDS & RISKS Able to engineer successful outcomes. Improves capacity for diverse thinking. Perceived as manipulative. THINKING STRATEGIES

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UNCOVER MOTIVATORS. THINKING STRATEGIES Unpack why a person behaves the way they do.

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Emma’s

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THINKING STRATEGIES Decision-Making validate values-driven experience crux trust your heart conclude Understanding clarify empathise tune-in scan express structure Creativity brainstorm challenge reframe envision flow flash of insight

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THINKING STRATEGIES Decision-Making validate values-driven experience crux trust your heart conclude Understanding clarify empathise tune-in scan express structure Creativity brainstorm challenge reframe envision flow flash of insight

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CREATIVE THINKING brainstorm challenge reframe envision flow flash of insight

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RECOGNISE
 CREATIVE LANGUAGE Can we try ... I know we’re done, but what about ... OMG! I just had this great idea ... Why do you think ... Is this the best we can do ...

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UNDERSTANDING THINKING clarify empathise tune-in scan express structure

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RECOGNISE UNDERSTANDING LANGUAGE So what you’re saying is ... Just to clarify ... I think this is related to ... So I made this spreadsheet ... That must feel horrible!

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DECISION THINKING validate values-driven experience crux gut instinct conclude

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RECOGNISE DECISION LANGUAGE I’m ready to move on to ... I don’t know why I think this, but ... Last time we tried this ... The real problem is ... My gut tells me ...

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ORGANISE MEETINGS ACCORDING TO
 THINKING STRATEGIES
 NOT TOPICS TO GET THE OUTCOMES YOU NEED.

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LEVEL 3. IMAGINATION Difficulty — Advanced

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REWARDS & RISKS Truly creative problem solving. Potentially overwhelming Cause doubt for self-worth. IMAGINATION

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SEEK TO UNDERSTAND. Complain about yourself from the other’s perspective. IMAGINATION

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SEEK TO EXPERIENCE. Live your day through the other’s constraints. IMAGINATION

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IN SUMMARY • Level 1: Care just enough to improve team cohesion. • Level 2: Structure interactions to get outcomes you need,
 and diversify how you think. • Level 3: Use another’s perspective to overcome hard problems.

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Thinking is a skill to be practiced. EMPATHY PRACTITIONERS

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Maya Angelou I think we all have empathy.
 We may not have enough courage to display it.

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CULTIVATE EMPATHY follow-up: #humanops @emmajanehw 
 emma @ gitforteams.com http://gitforteams.com/resources/cultivating-empathy.html