FEEDBACK
CULTURE
What’s a mirror got to do with it?
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Finding your edge in a culture of feedback
Photo by Joshua Earle
by Paulette Luftig
slides at http://bit.ly/feedback-edge-slides
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awareness
awakening
fear
surprise
courage
truth
authenticity
striving
self-image
acceptance
bravery
barriers
stigma
stereotype
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FEEDBACK
CULTURE
What is it?
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FEEDBACK
CULTURE
Why is it valuable?
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FEEDBACK
CULTURE
How is it done?
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Organizational Culture
A system of shared assumptions, values, and beliefs, that
influence how people behave, dictating how they dress,
act, and perform their jobs.
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Feedback
Skillful communication intended to serve a
developmental purpose for the individual,
team or organization in question.
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Culture of Feedback
A culture in which people witness, support, even provoke
one another to grow their capabilities and adapt to
challenges through practice.
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Deeper Intent
Strategic Choices
Consistent Action
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Why should we care?
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The challenge?
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Most organizational cultures don’t feel
safe enough to explore our developmental edges.
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“In a typical organization…individuals hide parts of
themselves, avoid conflict, unwittingly sabotage change
efforts, and subtly enforce a separation between the ‘me
at work’ and the ‘real me’.”
An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization
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An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization
Strives to support employees to close
the gap between who they are at work
and who they really are.
Views weakness as a potential asset;
error as an opportunity.
Deliberately Developmental Organization
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People feel like they belong - to themselves
within a caring organizational community
of support that celebrates achievement
measured by the goals and intent of the individual,
not just the org structure, and where
empathy for everyone’s struggle is the norm
Healthy feedback culture arises
from and promotes growth mindset.
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avoidance
envy
jealousy
separation
fear
sadness
control
longing
irritation
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trigger
avoidance
envy
jealousy
separation
fear
sadness
control
longing
irritation
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http://www.gratisography.com/
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avoidance
envy
jealousy
separation
fear
sadness
control
longing
irritation
trigger
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avoidance
envy
jealousy
separation
fear
sadness
control
longing
irritation
trigger
acceptance
surrender
adm
iration
joy
connection
fearlessness
drive
passion
patience
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–Falcor from The NeverEnding Story
“Never give up and good luck will find you.”
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mirrors the XP / agile business environment
Develop, Test,
Feedback
Develop, Test,
Feedback
Develop, Test,
Feedback
Project / Goal Setup
feedback loop / impact
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Opportunist
Diplomat
Expert
Achiever
Individualist
Strategist
Alchemist
Not open to feedback. Just can’t even hear it.
Not open to feedback. It is received as criticism or ‘disapproval’.
Open to feedback from experts in the field of primary interest.
Pragmatic. Open to feedback if it helps achieve personal goals.
Welcomes feedback as necessary for self-knowledge
and to uncover hidden aspects of behavior.
Invites feedback for self-actualization. Increased levels
of complexity, awareness, and perspective is available.
Developmental Foundations
Views feedback as a natural part of living systems.
High levels of complexity, awareness, and perspective
is available. Can lead to complete re-writing of the system.
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MATTERS
EVERY
ONE
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What does all this really mean in practice?
That depends…
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courage / desire / growth mindset
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~ Brene Brown
The Power of Vulnerability
“Imperfections are not inadequacies;
they are reminders that we are all in this together.”
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Growth is gonna hurt, at least a little.
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~ Giving Feedback Well ~
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ASK
Specific
Actionable Kind
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ACTIONABLE FEEDBACK
is about something the recipient
has the ability to change
explains what the recipient
is being asked to do differently
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SPECIFIC FEEDBACK
focuses on impact -
the action, not the person
states what happened that
was done well or not well
avoids absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’
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KIND FEEDBACK
discreet when appropriate
positively intended
timely
empathetic
unassuming
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…there is one caveat about kindness
in relation to feedback…
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kindness is a terrible reason
not to give important feedback
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Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss
http://www.radicalcandor.com/
Candor and Kim Scott
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Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss
http://www.radicalcandor.com/
Candor and Kim Scott
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Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss
http://www.radicalcandor.com/
Candor and Kim Scott
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“If you can't offer radical candor,
the second best thing you
can do is be an asshole.”
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Radical Candor - the Surprising Secret to being a Good Boss
http://www.radicalcandor.com/
Candor and Kim Scott
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Giving feedback that is Actionable Specific and Kind is
a great start to giving awesome feedback, but it isn’t enough
to ensure you won’t do this…
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great feedback starts with you
YOU
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How emotionally grounded am I?
How emotionally grounded is s/he?
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What do I value?
Can I name my privilege?
Am I working on
becoming aware of my
unconscious biases?
How do I know I’m not
acting on them?
The Career Advise You Probably Didn’t Get ~ Susan Colantuono
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Am I in a position of power and can I use it wisely?
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Am I willing to have a conversation?
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Brene Brown on Empathy
Can I respond with empathy (not sympathy)?
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• check in after the fact
• if you’ve offered support or made agreements, have
integrity - be your word and show up!
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Giving feedback should never include…
venting frustrations
blaming / making others
responsible for our emotional experience
advice giving
shaming
a power trip to control or manipulate
passive aggression
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Now that we understand how to give feedback,
let’s consider how to do our best from
the other side of the conversation.
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• Relax any unhelpful perfectionist mindset
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~ Brene Brown
The Power of Vulnerability
“Healthy striving is self-focused: ‘How can I improve?’
Perfectionism is other-focused: ‘What will they think?’
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• Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset
• Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
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• Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset
• Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
• Recognize feedback as an opportunity
to grow with support from others
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Together we come up with more solutions
and better solutions to any challenge!
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• Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset
• Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
• Recognize feedback as an opportunity
to grow with support from others
• Stop playing defense
(passively or actively)
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• Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset
• Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
• Recognize feedback as an opportunity
to grow with support from others
• Stop playing defense
(passively or actively)
• Ground yourself in self-awareness
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• Relax the unhelpful perfectionist mindset
• Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
• Recognize feedback as an opportunity
to grow with support from others
• Stop playing defense
(passively or actively)
• Ground yourself in self-awareness
• Be kind to yourself and to others
through any process of feedback
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• Relax any unhelpful perfectionist mindset
• Choose a growth over a fixed mindset
• Recognize feedback as an opportunity
to grow with support from others
• Stop playing defense
(passively or actively)
• Ground yourself in self-awareness
• Be kind to yourself and to others
through any process of feedback
• Practice gratitude
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Questions?
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Nonviolent Communication
~ Marshal Rosenburg
Difficult Conversations - How to Discuss What Matters Most
~ Douglas Stone, Bruce Patten, Sheila Heen
Integral Coaching Canada’s Coaching Manual
Five Stars Coaching Manual
T.E.D (The Empowerment Dynamic)
Giving Effective Feedback (HBR 20-Minute Manager Series)
An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization
~ Robert Kegan, Lisa Laskow Lahey et al.
Great Resources on Feedback