Influence Without Authority

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We all care about different things.

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Long road: convince them to see your point of view. Short road: see it from their point of view.

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Inﬂuence vs. Manipulation

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Inﬂuence Manipulation Agree with you or go along with your idea Disclose relevant information Hide or lie about relevant information

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Intentional inﬂuence

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COURAGE CONSIDERATION ● Doormat Innovative Jerk ● Ethical Inﬂuence ● ● Mean and boring

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The 3 Rules of Ethical Inﬂuence

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1. Know What Matters (to the People who Matter)

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Identify stakeholders.

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Blocker Decision- Maker Ally People whose help you’ll need ▢ ▢ ▢ Departments ▢ ▢ ▢ Passionate people ▢ ▢ ▢ Leaders in general ▢ ▢ ▢ Inﬂuencers ▢ ▢ ▢ Super experienced people ▢ ▢ ▢ People who will be impacted ▢ ▢ ▢

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Get to know stakeholders’ currencies.

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Our core needs as currencies

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1. What feels most important to you about this? 2. What challenges are you most concerned with? Or—in an ideal world—how would we move this forward? 3. What one thing do you wish you could change about this? 4. I have an idea I need your advice on [share idea] - what do you think I need to do to get others on board? Or—What key concerns or goals do you think I should keep my eye on for this project? 5. If you were me, how would you handle _________? Tell me more about what made you choose that route? 6. Who would you recommend I talk to to learn more about the history/background on this issue? 7. If _______ happens, how would that impact you/ your crew? 8. If I have more questions, would you mind if I follow up via email you or coffee? 9. What can I do to make this easier/ more likely to happen?

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Resistance is data.

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We’ll need to adapt these tools based on who we are, and who our audience is.

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2. Be a Builder

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Builders are solution-oriented, not problem-oriented.

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Facts + Impact → New Idea

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Facts + Impact → New Idea “There are currently no Engineering principles deﬁned for how teams should be building new features. This means that there are very few shared components, and feature teams have to reinvent the wheel each time.” ”I vote we create a working group to deﬁne 3-4 shared Engineering team principles.”

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”I vote we create a working group to deﬁne 3-4 shared Engineering team principles.” Make sure your idea takes into account key currencies.

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Tips for coming up with new ideas

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Inﬂuence is about ideas. Builder statements:

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Do your research about the facts and solutions. Builder statements:

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Avoid negative labels. Don't insult people or their "babies". Builder statements:

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“Our current vacation policy is outdated” ✓ “A new vacation policy could attract more talent”

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“Our parental leave policy is sexist” ✓ “An updated parental leave policy could help us walk the talk of inclusion”

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“We’re making a huge mistake if we go with that idea” ✓ “We could avoid X, Y and Z if we go with this other idea”

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I know you care about [currency]. Here’s how [idea] can help with that.

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Start with winnable experiments.

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We’ll test ______________________________________________ your proposed change for ______ months with __________________________________. number audience for experiment Our success metrics will be _______________________________. 1-3 metrics We’ll report back our ﬁndings to ___________ and ___________. stakeholder stakeholder 3 a new mentorship + sponsorship program 12 recent new hires in Product quarterly peer feedback results HR Product leads

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We’ll test ______________________________________________ your proposed change for ______ months with __________________________________. number audience for experiment Our success metrics will be _______________________________ ______________________________________________________. 1-3 metrics We’ll report back our ﬁndings to ___________ and ___________. stakeholder stakeholder 1.5 a working group to deﬁne 3 eng principles 1 representative from each team each team feels heard, and Eng Leads all of eng the principles can be applied to current + planned work

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3. Iterate, Iterate, Iterate

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Prepare to improve at least 30% of your idea by seeking feedback along the way, iterating as needed.

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How

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How Designers + PMs build fast-loading features

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How Goal/ Core Need Designers + PMs build fast-loading features

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How Goal/ Core Need Designers + PMs build fast-loading features Usable website for people on slower/outdated infrastructure

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How Goal/ Core Need Be ﬂexible about your how

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How Goal/ Core Need Be ﬂexible about your how Be ﬁrm about your goal (core need)

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Get good at feedback-seeking.

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Resistance → Data BONUS MATERIAL!

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Most common responses when a threat is detected BONUS MATERIAL!

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1. Doubt 2. Avoid 3. Fight 4. Bond 5. Escape-route }Data BONUS MATERIAL!

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Knowing and addressing someone’s core needs is a shortcut to making them feel understood and valued. BONUS MATERIAL!

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How do we recover when we amygdala-hijack someone? BONUS MATERIAL!

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BONUS MATERIAL!

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BONUS MATERIAL!

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Have a back-pocket script: Eject button + next step BONUS MATERIAL!

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There might be an inherent power dynamic BONUS MATERIAL!

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“I wanted to get your thoughts on my email last week. What did you read in it? What could I have said better?” BONUS MATERIAL!

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With your mouthwords: ● Acknowledge the power dynamic (if you’re a manager/leader) ● Acknowledge whenever you’ve messed something up BONUS MATERIAL!

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“Here are some avenues to give me feedback; choose whichever feels most comfortable” BONUS MATERIAL!

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“What I learned…” “What I’ll do…” BONUS MATERIAL!

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“I see now that when ______ happened, we messed with ______. What if next time, we instead try ___________?” BONUS MATERIAL!

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Caveat The goal is not 100% consensus 100% of the time BONUS MATERIAL!