Expanding Your Empathy - Speaker Deck

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EXPANDING YOUR EMPATHY Kronda Adair ! karveldigital.com kronda.com @kronda @karveldigital

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Hashtag: #BTCempathy

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em • path • thy ! the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

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hNp://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/editorials/2013/03/15/gay-‐couples-‐also-‐deserve-‐chance-‐to-‐get-‐married.html

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“Knowing that my son is gay prompted me to consider the issue from another perspecXve: that of a dad who wants all three of his kids to lead happy, meaningful lives with the people they love, a blessing Jane and I have shared for 26 years.” ~ Rob Portman

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https://twitter.com/anildash/status/312593101103452160

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Why are we talking about this?

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Sync designed by Rohith M S from the thenounproject.com

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var oppression = funcXon(event, reacXon, backlash) { var backlash = array[ 'insults', 'verbal abuse' 'death threats', 'doxing', 'rape threats’]; var reacXon = 'That\’s not cool’; while (event > 0) { backlash = (reacXon * 1000); //break } } oppression();

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h"p://femfreq.tumblr.com/post/52673540142/twi"er-‐vs-‐female-‐protagonists-‐in-‐video-‐games

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h"p://femfreq.tumblr.com/post/52673540142/twi"er-‐vs-‐female-‐protagonists-‐in-‐video-‐games

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h"p://femfreq.tumblr.com/post/52673540142/twi"er-‐vs-‐female-‐protagonists-‐in-‐video-‐games

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h"p://femfreq.tumblr.com/post/52673540142/twi"er-‐vs-‐female-‐protagonists-‐in-‐video-‐games

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h"p://femfreq.tumblr.com/post/52673540142/twi"er-‐vs-‐female-‐protagonists-‐in-‐video-‐games

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h"p://femfreq.tumblr.com/post/52673540142/twi"er-‐vs-‐female-‐protagonists-‐in-‐video-‐games

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h"p://femfreq.tumblr.com/post/52673540142/twi"er-‐vs-‐female-‐protagonists-‐in-‐video-‐games

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h"p://femfreq.tumblr.com/post/52673540142/twi"er-‐vs-‐female-‐protagonists-‐in-‐video-‐games

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Text h"p://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Timeline_of_incidents

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How do we change the paNern?

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Homogenous Teams are not sustainable

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We all live in a bubble Photo by Emilio Labrador on Flickr: hNp://www.ﬂickr.com/photos/3059349393/

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Marginalization vs Privilege •People of color •Transgender people •Diﬀerently-‐abled •Mental illness •Fat •Let-‐handed •Gay / Bi / Lesbian •Poor •Don’t like beer •Rich •Male •Cis-‐gender •White •English-‐speaking •Able-‐bodied •Young •ConvenXonally aNracXve

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WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY?

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How privilege is like browsers

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White straight male: Latest Chrome (Max OS of course)

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middle class Black lesbian: IE7

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Diﬀerently abled trans person of color: IE6 (In quirks mode)

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We’re looking at the same things, but we don’t see them the same way. SomeXmes we don’t see them at all.

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Marginalized people experience microaggressions every day.

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10 micro-‐aggressions per day * 365 days * 32 years = 116,800

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Things to Avoid:

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Things to Avoid: 1. Derailing

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Things to Avoid: 1. Derailing 2. Tone Policing

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Things to Avoid: 1. Derailing 2. Tone Policing 3. *splaining

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Derailing Not all _____

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Tone Policing I would be on your side if you just wouldn't be so ANGRY. Why can't we just hug it out? hNp://storify.com/kronda/tone-‐policing

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Tone Policing

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Mansplaining Hey liNle lady, let me tell you what it’s like to be a woman. hNp://mansplained.tumblr.com

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So now what? Photo by Mark Roy on Flickr: hNp://www.ﬂickr.com/photos/electricnerve/

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How I learned to stop worrying and apologize when I screw up

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https://twitter.com/mrtazz/statuses/446653986754813952

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Three Step Plan

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Three Step Plan 1. STOP

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Three Step Plan 1. STOP 2. LISTEN

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Three Step Plan 1. STOP 2. LISTEN 3. APOLOGIZE

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Three Step Plan 1. STOP 2. LISTEN 3. APOLOGIZE http://www.cuppacocoa.com/a-better-way-to-say-sorry/

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Three Step Plan

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Three Step Plan

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Evaluate your circle

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Branch out of your comfort zone hNp://listverse.com/2012/11/23/top-‐10-‐unusual-‐animal-‐friendships/

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READ & LISTEN • TwiNer • Books (FicXon and Non-‐ﬁcXon) • Discussion Groups

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hNps://twiNer.com/kronda/lists/social-‐jusXce

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How would work change if empathy was championed as a core value in a company?

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ascendproject.org

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Designing Community

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CreaXng safe spaces allows people to do their best work. !

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Being a good ally is a process, not a state of being

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Being a good ally is a process, not a state of being 1. Listen

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Being a good ally is a process, not a state of being 1. Listen 2. Share what you learn

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Being a good ally is a process, not a state of being 1. Listen 2. Share what you learn 3. Speak up for others

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THANKS! @kronda kronda.com/diversity-‐101

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InspiraXon & Contributors ! Adria Richards @adriarichards Anita Sarkeesian @femfreq Julie Ann Horvath @nrrrdcore Ashe Dryden @ashedryden Julie Pagano @juliepagano Paul Fenwick @pjf Sam Livingston-Gray @geeksam Anil Dash @anildash Daniel Schauenberg @mrtazz Willow Oz & Xander @stateofthecat !