Family Guy - "Tom Tucker"

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Scene 641 Panel A Dialogue 279 PETER (V.O.) (FROM PHONE) This is Peter Griffin, Action Notes EXT. STREET CORNER - SAME Tom stands outside a shop, holding his cellphone to his ear. Scene 641 Panel B Dialogue famous agent, Scene 641 Panel C Dialogue but you can call me Page 1

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Scene 641 Panel D Dialogue "PG-13". Scene 641 Panel E Dialogue Ba-boom! Scene 641 Panel F Dialogue Leave a message. Page 2

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Scene 642 Panel A Dialogue Scene 642 Panel B Dialogue 280 TOM TUCKER (INTO PHONE) Hi, Peter, it's Tom. Scene 642 Panel C Dialogue Uhhh... Page 3

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Scene 642 Panel D Dialogue Just trying to reach you again. Scene 642 Panel E Dialogue And, Scene 642 Panel F Dialogue ..ya know, about that meeting you set up with me and Heath Ledger... Page 4

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Scene 642 Panel G Dialogue he... Scene 642 Panel H Dialogue he never showed. Scene 642 Panel I Dialogue Maybe I was at the wrong Panda Express, Page 5

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Scene 642 Panel J Dialogue but uh, it... anyway, call me back. Scene 642 Panel K NO PANEL Page 6

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Scene 643 Panel A Action Notes EXT./ESTAB. ANOTHER TRENDY L.A. RESTAURANT - DAY NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 7

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Scene 644 Panel A Action Notes INT. RESTAURANT - SAME Peter and Tom sit, having lunch. Peter looks down, pushing food around on his plate with his fork. Scene 644 Panel B Dialogue 281 TOM TUCKER ...hey listen, Scene 644 Panel C Dialogue thanks for inviting me to lunch, Peter. Page 8

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Scene 645 Panel A Dialogue I was starting to get nervous Scene 645 Panel B Dialogue when you weren't returning my calls. NO PANEL Page 9

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Scene 646 Panel A Dialogue 282 PETER Tom, (SIGHS) Scene 646 Panel B Dialogue you're probably wondering why I spent the last forty-five minutes Scene 646 Panel C Dialogue pushing this pasta around my plate. Page 10

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Scene 646 Panel D Dialogue (THEN) It's so I could Scene 646 Panel E Dialogue spell this. Action Notes Peter holds his plate up to Tom. NO PANEL Page 11

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Scene 647 Panel A Dialogue 283 TOM TUCKER (READING) "I'm dropping you as a cli"? Action Notes He has arranged the penne pasta on it so that it spells "I'm dropping you as a cli". NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 12

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Scene 648 Panel A Dialogue 284 PETER That's supposed to say "client". Scene 648 Panel B Dialogue I made the letters too big when I started. NO PANEL Page 13

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Scene 649 Panel A Dialogue 285 TOM TUCKER You're dropping me as a client?! Scene 649 Panel B Dialogue How could you do this?! NO PANEL Page 14

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Scene 650 Panel A Dialogue 286 PETER Look, it's a Scene 650 Panel B Dialogue whole different landscape out here since Thursday. Scene 650 Panel C Dialogue Everything's on computers now. Page 15

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Scene 650 Panel D Dialogue 287 TOM TUCKER Peter, I left a very good job for this! Scene 650 Panel E Dialogue You're the only reason I came back out here! Scene 650 Panel F Dialogue 288 PETER I wish I could help you, Tom, Page 16

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Scene 650 Panel G Dialogue but this is comin' from upstairs. Scene 650 Panel H Dialogue 289 TOM TUCKER The karate studio? Scene 650 Panel I Dialogue 290 PETER You know what you should take away Page 17

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Scene 650 Panel J Dialogue from this? Scene 650 Panel K Dialogue Always trust Page 18

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Scene 650 Panel L Dialogue your instincts. Scene 650 Panel M Dialogue 'Cause you didn't think Scene 650 Panel N Dialogue there was anything out here for you. Page 19

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Scene 650 Panel O Action Notes Peter exits, Scene 650 Panel P Action Notes leaving Tom behind, who looks crushed. NO PANEL Page 20

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Scene 651 Panel A Action Notes EXT./ESTAB. APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 21

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Scene 652 Panel A Dialogue INT. APARTMENT - SAME Action Notes Peter is sleeping. Scene 652 Panel B Action Notes His cellphone rings, waking him up. Scene 652 Panel C Page 22

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Scene 652 Panel D Scene 652 Panel E Dialogue 291 PETER (ANSWERS, GROGGY) Hello? Scene 652 Panel F Dialogue 292 JAMES WOODS Peter, it's Action Notes SPLIT SCREEN TO INCLUDE James Woods, at a loud party. Page 23

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Scene 652 Panel G Dialogue me, Woodsy! I need a favor. Scene 652 Panel H Dialogue 293 PETER What? Scene 652 Panel I Dialogue (OFF CLOCK) It's, like, two a.m. Page 24

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Scene 652 Panel J Dialogue 294 JAMES WOODS Yeah, so listen, I'm at Chateau Marmont, Scene 652 Panel K Dialogue I just met this eighteen-year-old chick, Scene 652 Panel L Dialogue and I can't decide whether to take her home or keep doing blow with Billy Zane Page 25

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Scene 652 Panel M Dialogue and see if I can do better later in the night. Scene 652 Panel N Dialogue 295 PETER Well, okay, uh... Scene 652 Panel O Dialogue do, ah, d-do you love her? Page 26

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Scene 652 Panel P Dialogue 296 JAMES WOODS What?! Scene 652 Panel Q Dialogue Look, I'm texting you her picture. Just tell me if you think she's hot enough. Scene 652 Panel R Page 27

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Scene 652 Panel S Scene 652 Panel T Scene 652 Panel U Action Notes A beat, then Peter's cellphone dings. Page 28

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Scene 652 Panel V Action Notes Peter picks up his phone and looks at it. Scene 652 Panel W Dialogue 297 PETER (RE: PHONE, CONFUSED) What is this a picture of? Is that the bottom of a white pumpkin? Scene 652 Panel X Dialogue 298 JAMES WOODS Is she hot Page 29

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Scene 652 Panel Y Dialogue or not? Scene 652 Panel Z Dialogue 299 PETER I guess. Scene 652 Panel AA Dialogue 300 JAMES WOODS Okay, good, great. Page 30

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Scene 652 Panel AB Dialogue Clear out of your apartment, we're gonna be there in fifteen. Scene 652 Panel AC Dialogue 301 PETER What?! I'm sleepin'. Why can't you bring her to your place? Scene 652 Panel AD Dialogue 302 JAMES WOODS I don't know, man. Page 31

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Scene 652 Panel AE Dialogue It's my aunt's daughter, it's weird. NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 32

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Scene 653 Panel A Action Notes EXT./ESTAB. GRIFFINS' HOUSE - DAY NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 33

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Scene 654 Panel A Action Notes INT. CHRIS' ROOM - SAME Chris sits at his desk, doing homework. Scene 654 Panel B Scene 654 Panel C Action Notes Lois enters. Page 34

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Scene 654 Panel D Scene 654 Panel E Scene 654 Panel F Page 35

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Scene 654 Panel G Scene 654 Panel H Dialogue 303 LOIS Chris, honey, NO PANEL Page 36

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Scene 655 Panel A Dialogue there's somethin' I wanna Scene 655 Panel B Dialogue talk to you about. NO PANEL Page 37

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Scene 656 Panel A Dialogue 304 CHRIS Why sure, Mom. Scene 656 Panel B Dialogue Come on in. NO PANEL Page 38

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Scene 657 Panel A Dialogue Scene 657 Panel B Dialogue Scene 657 Panel C Dialogue 305 LOIS Chris, Page 39

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Scene 657 Panel D Dialogue you know your girlfriend, Lindsey? Scene 657 Panel E Dialogue 306 CHRIS Yeah. NO PANEL Page 40

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Scene 658 Panel A Dialogue 307 LOIS Well, honey, Scene 658 Panel B Scene 658 Panel C Dialogue I saw her makin' out with another boy. Page 41

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Scene 659 Panel A Dialogue 308 CHRIS Another Scene 659 Panel B Dialogue boy? Scene 659 Panel C Dialogue Heh- Mom, Page 42

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Scene 659 Panel D Dialogue I think you need to get your eyes checked. Scene 659 Panel E Dialogue He's twenty-six. NO PANEL Page 43

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Scene 660 Panel A Dialogue 309 LOIS What?! Scene 660 Panel B Dialogue You know about this?! NO PANEL Page 44

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Scene 661 Panel A Dialogue 310 CHRIS (DISMISSIVE) Yeah, but those are just guys she meets on the computer and at the naval base, Scene 661 Panel B Dialogue not guys from school. Scene 661 Panel C Dialogue 311 LOIS Chris, I can't believe you knew about this! Page 45

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Scene 661 Panel D Dialogue That's terrible! Scene 661 Panel E Dialogue Why would you even date Scene 661 Panel F Dialogue a girl like that? Page 46

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Scene 662 Panel A Dialogue 312 CHRIS Well, because... Scene 662 Panel B Dialogue I... I thought Scene 662 Panel C Dialogue she'd be like Page 47

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Scene 662 Panel D Dialogue you. NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 48

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Scene 663 Panel A Dialogue 313 LOIS Like Scene 663 Panel B Dialogue me? NO PANEL Page 49

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Scene 664 Panel A Dialogue 314 CHRIS Well, you gotta admit, Mom, Scene 664 Panel B Dialogue she does look a lot like you. Scene 664 Panel C Dialogue I mean, Page 50

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Scene 664 Panel D Dialogue I just look at you and Dad, you know? Scene 664 Panel E Dialogue He's a complete train wreck, Scene 664 Panel F Dialogue and you put up with him. Page 51

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Scene 664 Panel G Dialogue And I'm no prize myself. Scene 664 Panel H Dialogue So I guess I figured if I don't find a girl just like you, Scene 664 Panel I Dialogue I might never find anyone. Page 52

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Scene 664 Panel J Dialogue 315 LOIS Oh, Scene 664 Panel K Dialogue Chris. Scene 664 Panel L Dialogue Of course you'll Page 53

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Scene 664 Panel M Dialogue find someone. And you are a prize. Scene 664 Panel N Dialogue You're a handsome, kind-hearted, young man Scene 664 Panel O Dialogue and any girl would be lucky to have you Page 54

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Scene 664 Panel P Dialogue in her life. Scene 664 Panel Q Dialogue 316 CHRIS You really think so? Scene 664 Panel R Dialogue 317 LOIS Of course I do, sweetheart. Page 55

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Scene 664 Panel S Dialogue 318 CHRIS (SMILES) Well thanks, Mom. Scene 664 Panel T Dialogue I guess you're right. Scene 664 Panel U Action Notes They exchange a warm smile Page 56

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Scene 664 Panel V Scene 664 Panel W Action Notes and a hug. Page 57

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Scene 664 Panel X Dialogue 319 LOIS (WARMLY) There you go. Scene 664 Panel Y Dialogue Now I'm gonna take the child filter off the computer Scene 664 Panel Z Dialogue and I want you to have a fun night. Page 58

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Scene 665 Panel A Action Notes INT. RESTAURANT - SAME NO PANEL Page 59

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Scene 666 Panel A Dialogue 320 PETER Okay, this is it, James. Action Notes James Woods sits at a table. Peter sits across from him Scene 666 Panel B Dialogue I got your next project right here. Scene 666 Panel C Action Notes and hands him a script. Page 60

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Scene 666 Panel D Scene 666 Panel E Scene 666 Panel F Page 61

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Scene 666 Panel G Scene 666 Panel H Scene 666 Panel I Dialogue 321 JAMES WOODS (OFF SCRIPT, ANNOYED) Peter, Page 62

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Scene 666 Panel J Dialogue you've pitched me Scene 666 Panel K Dialogue dozens of projects, Scene 666 Panel L Dialogue and all of them Page 63

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Scene 666 Panel M Dialogue involve me Scene 666 Panel N Dialogue playing a Scene 666 Panel O Dialogue hayride driver. Page 64

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Scene 666 Panel P Dialogue 322 PETER I don't know, I just see you doin' that. Scene 666 Panel Q Dialogue Ya' know? Scene 666 Panel R Dialogue This year it's vampires, next year it's hay. Page 65

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Scene 666 Panel S Dialogue These things go in cycles. NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 66

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Scene 667 Panel A Dialogue 323 JAMES WOODS Peter, this is probably a good time Scene 667 Panel B Dialogue to fire you. NO PANEL Page 67

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Scene 668 Panel A Dialogue 324 PETER What?! NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 68

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Scene 669 Panel A Dialogue 325 JAMES WOODS Come on, Peter, Action Notes Scene 669 Panel B Dialogue who are we kidding? Action Notes Scene 669 Panel C Dialogue You're a one-man operation. Action Notes Page 69

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Scene 669 Panel D Dialogue And you know me. Action Notes Scene 669 Panel E Dialogue I need a whole crew. Action Notes Scene 669 Panel F Dialogue (TICKING OFF ON HIS FINGERS) I need a Action Notes Page 70

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Scene 669 Panel G Dialogue drugs guy, Action Notes Scene 669 Panel H Dialogue a Action Notes Scene 669 Panel I Dialogue a girls guy, Action Notes Page 71

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Scene 669 Panel J Dialogue a Action Notes Scene 669 Panel K Dialogue fitness guy, Action Notes Scene 669 Panel L Dialogue a guy-with-a-boat-who-can-dump-stuff-way-out -there guy... Action Notes Page 72

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Scene 669 Panel M Dialogue 326 PETER But-- but you're my only client! Action Notes Scene 669 Panel N Dialogue Without you, Action Notes Scene 669 Panel O Dialogue I'm ruined! Action Notes Page 73

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Scene 669 Panel P Dialogue 327 JAMES WOODS Well, that's show business. Action Notes Scene 669 Panel Q Dialogue (THEN) Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to take a meeting about this hayride project that's got Action Notes Page 74

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Scene 669 Panel R Dialogue nothing to do with anything that you've shown me. Action Notes Scene 669 Panel S Action Notes Scene 669 Panel T Action Notes James Woods exits Page 75

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Scene 669 Panel U Action Notes as Peter looks crushed. NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 76

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Scene 670 Panel A Action Notes EXT./ESTAB. SHABBY HOTEL - DAY NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 77

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Scene 671 Panel A Action Notes INT. HOTEL ROOM - SAME Scene 671 Panel B Action Notes Scene 671 Panel C Action Notes Tom Tucker is packing a suitcase Page 78

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Scene 671 Panel D Action Notes Scene 671 Panel E Action Notes when there's a knock at the door. Scene 671 Panel F Page 79

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Scene 672 Panel A Scene 672 Panel B Action Notes Scene 672 Panel C Action Notes He answers it, Page 80

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Scene 672 Panel D Action Notes revealing Peter (back in his normal clothes). Scene 672 Panel E Dialogue 328 PETER Hey, Tom. Scene 672 Panel F Action Notes Page 81

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Scene 672 Panel G Dialogue How you doin'? NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 82

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Scene 673 Panel A Dialogue 329 TOM TUCKER What do Scene 673 Panel B Dialogue you want? NO PANEL Page 83

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Scene 674 Panel A Dialogue 330 PETER James Woods fired me. Scene 674 Panel B Dialogue Listen, Scene 674 Panel C Dialogue I been thinkin'. Page 84

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Scene 674 Panel D Dialogue I was a real jerk to you. Scene 674 Panel E Dialogue I dragged you out here, Scene 674 Panel F Dialogue only to dump you Page 85

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Scene 674 Panel G Dialogue when you needed me the most. NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 86

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Scene 675 Panel A Dialogue I guess what I'm sayin' is, Scene 675 Panel B Dialogue I'm really sorry about everything. NO PANEL Page 87

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Scene 676 Panel A Dialogue 330a TOM TUCKER "Sorry" doesn't cut it, Peter. Scene 676 Panel B Dialogue I quit my job, Scene 676 Panel C Dialogue I left everything behind to come out here. Page 88

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Scene 677 Panel A Dialogue 330b PETER I know, but I was just tryin' to help. Scene 677 Panel B Dialogue I never wanted to let you down. NO PANEL Page 89

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Scene 678 Panel A Action Notes A beat as Tom takes this in, Scene 678 Panel B Action Notes then: Scene 678 Panel C Dialogue 331a TOM TUCKER Well, I suppose your only crime is that you believed in me. Page 90

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Scene 678 Panel D Dialogue And then stopped believing in me rather abruptly. NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 91

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Scene 679 Panel A Dialogue 332 PETER So what do you say? Scene 679 Panel B Dialogue You ready to go back to where we both belong? NO PANEL Page 92

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Scene 680 Panel A Scene 680 Panel B Dialogue 333 TOM TUCKER (SMILES) Scene 680 Panel C Dialogue Yep. Let's go home. Page 93

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Scene 681 Panel A Dialogue 334 PETER Sounds good. Scene 681 Panel B Dialogue 335 TOM TUCKER Well, at least my time in Hollywood wasn't a total waste. Scene 681 Panel C Action Notes Tom pulls up his shirt, Page 94

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Scene 681 Panel D Dialogue I got these Scene 681 Panel E Dialogue Chinese characters tattooed on my lower back. Action Notes revealing some Chinese characters tattooed on his lower back. Scene 681 Panel F Page 95

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Scene 681 Panel G Dialogue 336 PETER That's-- Scene 681 Panel H Dialogue that's only sexy on girls. Scene 681 Panel I Dialogue 337 TOM TUCKER Ah. Page 96

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Scene 681 Panel J Dialogue (THEN) Scene 681 Panel K Dialogue And if I told you my pelvic area was now a giant spiderweb? Scene 681 Panel L Dialogue 338 PETER What the hell?! Page 97

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Scene 681 Panel M Dialogue We were only apart for three days! NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 98

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Scene 682 Panel A Action Notes EXT./ESTAB. GRIFFINS' HOUSE - NIGHT NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 99

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Scene 683 Panel A Action Notes INT. GRIFFINS' LIVING ROOM - SAME The Griffins sit on the couch, watching TV. NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 100

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Scene 684 Panel A Dialogue 339 TOM TUCKER Good evening, Quahog. I'm Tom Tucker. Action Notes INT. CHANNEL FIVE NEWSROOM - NIGHT (ON TV) Tom Tucker sits at the news desk with Joyce Kinney. Scene 684 Panel B Dialogue 340 JOYCE KINNEY And I'm Joyce Kinney. Scene 684 Panel C Dialogue Tom, I think I speak for all of us here at Channel Five News Page 101

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Scene 684 Panel D Dialogue when I say it's good to have you back here at half your original salary. Scene 684 Panel E Dialogue 341 TOM TUCKER Still twice yours, Joyce, Scene 684 Panel F Dialogue our top story tonight, local stand-up comedian wonders, "Styrofoam peanuts: What do they pack them in?" Page 102

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Scene 685 Panel A Action Notes INT. GRIFFINS' LIVING ROOM - NIGHT (BACK TO SCENE) Scene 685 Panel B Dialogue PETER Well, I'm just happy Tom got his job back. Scene 685 Panel C Dialogue But sorry I missed meetin' your girlfriend, Chris. Page 103

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Scene 685 Panel D Dialogue CHRIS That's okay, Dad. Scene 685 Panel E Dialogue LOIS Yeah, Chris, I never asked you... What did Lindsey say when you broke up with her? Scene 685 Panel F Dialogue CHRIS Oh, she didn't seem to mind. I think she already moved onto someone else. Page 104

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Scene 686 Panel A Dialogue 342e. LINDSEY Thanks for buying me Action Notes INT. QUAGMIRE'S BEDROOM - DAY (CUTAWAY) Lindsey stands before QUAGMIRE. She is dressed like Lois. Scene 686 Panel B Dialogue these clothes, Glenn. Scene 686 Panel C Dialogue QUAGMIRE (DARKLY) Call me "Peter." Page 105

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Scene 686 Panel D Action Notes End of show NO PANEL NO PANEL Page 106