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node.js

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node

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t f g sethvargo

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fuck shit dammit ass

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what’s node?

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event-driven non-blocking server-side

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event-driven non-blocking server-side javascript

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node’s goal is to provide an easy way to build scalable network programs

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node’s goal is to provide an easy way to build scalable programs

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make shit

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make shit ^ better

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make shit ^ better ™

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Google V8 Engine

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Google V8 Engine Makes Javascript really fucking fast ^

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this is node

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var http = require('http'); http.createServer(function (req, res) { res.writeHead(200, {'Content-Type': 'text/plain'}); res.end('Hello World\n'); }).listen(1337, '127.0.0.1'); console.log('Server running at http://127.0.0.1:1337/');

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complete webserver

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var http = require('http'); http.createServer(function (req, res) { res.writeHead(200, {'Content-Type': 'text/plain'}); res.end('Hello World\n'); }).listen(1337, '127.0.0.1'); console.log('Server running at http://127.0.0.1:1337/'); 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ... in just 8 lines

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that was node

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why node?

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new technology

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new technology

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existing technology

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existing technology repurposed

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existing technology repurposed patterns

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fucking package it has a manager

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node package manager

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npm

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an amazing community

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14,350 packages

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write less do more

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asychronous I/O

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“Get the fuck off of my CPU”

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var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt'); complexFileOperation(data); Old I/O

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var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt'); // Tie up the CPU while I read that file complexFileOperation(data); Old I/O

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I want to write the most inefficient program for your CPU

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I want to write the most inefficient program for your CPU - no one, ever “ ”

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Yet you do it every fucking day!

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is I/O blocking Ruby Python Java SQL PHP

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is I/O blocking Ruby Python Java SQL PHP by default

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node is asynchronous

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node has asynchronous I/O

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var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt', function(data) { complexFileOperation(data); }); // let the CPU keep working in the meantime otherFunction(); New I/O

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event-driven behavior

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after I do this, I need to do that

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after I do this, I need to do that

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after this, do that

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if x, then y

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when I’m done shopping, I need to pay the bill

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the Ruby way while(!poor) do (@amount ||= 0) += shop end pay(@amount)

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that makes 0 sense

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the node way shop(function(amount) { pay(amount); });

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fundamentally different way of thinking

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fundamentally different type of programming

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fundamentally different

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and that’s okay

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sometimes it really fucking sucks

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there’s only one thread

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Yay! No threading!

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Shit! No threading!

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var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt', function(data) { complexFileOperation(data); }); // let the CPU keep working in the meantime while(true) { ... } what does this do?

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var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt', function(data) { complexFileOperation(data); }); // let the CPU keep working in the meantime while(true) { ... } what does this do?

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var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt', function(data) { // never fires }); // blocks the entire thread while(true) { ... } what does this do?

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var data = file.read('scotty-labs.txt', function(data) { // never fires }); // blocks the entire thread while(true) { ... } nothing...

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“my algorithms are tightly CPU-bound “

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“my algorithms are tightly CPU-bound “ don’t use node

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let’s code

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catman

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annoying 5 year old

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tcp chat