5-2 Don't Panic - TMM Module 5 Mon, 3/21 9:20PM 7:10 SUMMARY KEYWORDS anchor, layer, big picture, work, serving, brain, give, lunch, module, order, figure, routine, firehose, major changes, naptime, point, person, yell, modify, patricia SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:00 Alright, hey there successful mama. Welcome back to Module Five, and we're talking about building upon our anchors. Patricia Sung 00:06 So, as we're looking at these anchors, this is where we're going to focus first is building on the anchor. And right now we've been using the example I said pick the easiest anchored the simplest anchor to work on first, because we want to figure out how to be successful when our life is not crazy. Like, don't try to create a rhythm around like leaving for school in the morning, because that's too hectic, you don't have time to think at that point, right? Patricia Sung 00:29 I want you to focus on the anchor that's simple and easier, like where's that the most calm, and that's where I want you to start because you have more ability to make changes there when you're calm and feeling confident, as opposed to like, you know, Musa mom coming out and yelling about shoes and like, get in the bathtub kind of things, right. So let's focus on an easy one. That's why I gave you if you're not sure, go stick with lunch. And we're going to be layering on these anchors, you have your set time of when you want to do the anchor, give or take, you have your chain, right your window of when that's going to happen. And we're going to layer on those. Patricia Sung 01:07 So that means we kind of like start creeping in towards this section of time, right. So we're right here at lunch, we know we need to make lunch, eat lunch, reset. So that means like, clean up lunch. So here's our anchor. That's what we've been working on recently. Now we're going to layer on it. Now. Some people will layer on before for ADHD, I find that to be very hard, because 

I'm not like when I know this is my anchor time, I'm not thinking like, Oh, let me start even earlier and do other things like my brain doesn't connect with that. So most of our layering is going to be after that anchor, not before, like maybe we'll put one thing before that's about it. And usually that's like a cleanup thing or something, generally speaking, we're going to be layering after. Patricia Sung 01:56 And I want you to be aware that like you're not a robot, when we say that we're going to layer something on lunch. And maybe we end up with a couple of different tasks layered on you don't have to do it the exact same way every day. Like if that feels boring to you don't do it that way. You can do it, like the tasks in order like 123. And the next day, you can do them in three to one like, you don't have to make it like like constricting and uncomfortable and boring. Patricia Sung 02:27 The whole point of routine is to serve you so it's not serving you, then we need to modify it in some way to make more sense for you. Now, other people will say I want to do it the exact same way so that I don't have to think about it at all. And my body just knows like I did the thing, and it just automatically moves into the next one and the next one. And then I know I don't forget anything. So you'll know what kind of person you are. If you're one who wants to take like that clump. And like toss it around and do it in different order, or the person who wants to say like, I really want to do them in the same order every day, because that makes me feel comfortable and competent, and like solid on it. So either way is fine. But no, like you're not a robot. And if you end up doing number two, instead of number one first, like it's totally fine. We want this to be something that serves you. Patricia Sung 03:12 Now, I do have a few disclaimers, because this module is like the meat and potatoes of how you're setting up your day. It has the most work in it, it has the most information. And like it's kind of like drinking from a firehose. So I want to prepare you that like I'm giving you this setup so that you understand the big picture. But we're not doing all of the things right now, like when we look at our whole day, and we're going to have We have six anchors, we are not working on all six anchors at the same time. We're working on one. And then we'll work on another one, we can come back to that first one like, but we're not going to work on all the things all the time, because it's too much our brains can't keep up with all that change at one time. It's just it's too much. But there's a really good chance you're going to ignore my advice. And you're gonna say no, I'm gonna do this and do this, it's gonna be great. Patricia Sung 04:03 I'm gonna change things and you're trying to like, you know, again, wake up tomorrow, I'm like, I'm a person who does or jeans today, and throw away everything I did yesterday, I'm gonna do totally away, and then your brains gonna yell at you, and you're gonna fall apart and you're 

gonna get mad at me, that didn't work. And then we'll take a deep breath. And we'll pull back together. And then we'll try again. Patricia Sung 04:23 This is a process it is going to take trial and error. We will get there. But it's not going to happen on the first try. So let's take it slow. Reminisce is a rough draft, it should not be perfect. It's going to change. We need the errors in order to figure out what worked and what didn't like that all that information for us to make improvements. This is the process and even if you find a good routine for you, it could be that like, you know, you had your routine wrapped around naptime and also now your kids are taking a nap. Like you're gonna have to make an adjustment. It's constantly flexing And that's okay. Patricia Sung 05:00 Like that's also what keeps it interesting for us is that it's not like we said this routine. And I'm going to do this routine from now until the end of time, which is a lot of times how we feel in with ADHD because we have issues with the concept of time, we feel like when we make a decision, it's forever and ever. And it's not, it's for right now, we're going to use it as much as we can, as much as it's serving us. And then when we realize it stops serving us, then we adjust and we move on. Patricia Sung 05:26 Even more disclaimers on this unit, this is a big picture of you, I have to give you the whole skill set so that you can understand the big picture like our brains don't do well, if we only get part of the information, because our brain is trying to figure out how it all goes together. And we're so busy trying to figure out it that we don't pay attention to what's actually going on. Patricia Sung 05:47 So I'm giving you the big picture of how this is going to come together. But we are only implementing one thing at a time. I know you're like you can't tell me what to do Patricia, I know I can and you're probably gonna try to do more, and then it's not gonna work. And then we have to back up and redo it. And it's fine. Like, this is how our brain works. It's totally cool. Don't worry about it. As we tried to focus on one at a time, like maybe two but probably nine. I really just want you to like lean in, lean into the overwhelm like, this is a lot. Patricia Sung 06:22 You are making major changes in your life here. Like this is not like, oh, I you know took this class that was an hour and I learned something great. Like no, you are modifying the structure of your day, the structure of your whole life to make sense for you. Yes, it is overwhelming because you're taking on a really big project. But I am here to work with you through one step 

at a time. One one bite at a time. We're going to get there together. So yes, this is a lot. It should feel that way. And it's okay. Like we're gonna figure it out. Okay, I think that's where we're good. Yeah, let's pause there. I'll be back with you in just a second.