Christopher Murphy - Managing A Mind

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Managing a Mind Christopher Murphy @fehler Hey!Stac · 25 March, 2014 • I’d like to thank Josh for inviting me to speak, I appreciate the opportunity to be here and to talk about a topic that is very close to my heart. • I’d also like to thank Eamon at Engineyard, who is championing this, and other mental health stories, through an organisation called Prompt.

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@fehler • I think it’s important to start a conversation about mental health in the technology sector. I’m delighted Engineyard are getting behind this with Prompt: http://prompt.engineyard.com

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@fehler @fehler #managingamind Twitter • I’m @fehler on Twitter. • I’d appreciate if you’d hashtag any questions or comments you have with #managingamind, that way we can continue the discussion online.

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@fehler What I’ll be covering… 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Tuesday, 21 May, 2013 Status Anxiety Impostor Syndrome The Chimp Paradox Breakfasts • So, what will I be covering?

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@fehler But ﬁrst… a little light reading. • Before I get started, I’d like to recommend a little light reading. • In addition to my work as a writer and designer, I’m an educator, so you won’t be surprised to see a list of key texts that inform my thinking.

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@fehler • I’d like to recommend the following books. • They’re all about understanding how the mind works and, through that understanding, helping you to manage a mind.

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@fehler • Alain de Boton’s ‘Status Anxiety’, explores a growing condition of ‘status anxiety’ that I believe many people face. Anxiousness about how others perceive you. Anxiousness about whether or not you’re ‘good enough’.

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@fehler • Peter Drucker’s ‘Managing Oneself’ is a short, but powerful book, which focuses on the principles of managing oneself, managing your relationships with others, and how - when you do that - you can become a more effective person.

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@fehler • Finally, Dr Steve Peter’s ‘The Chimp Paradox’ is a comprehensive - and, importantly, understandable - guide to managing a mind. I’ll introduce this more fully in a moment.

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@fehler 1. Tuesday, 21 May, 2013 • I’d like to begin, brieﬂy, by talking about something that very much grounds this presentation for me. • It’s a speciﬁc date, fast approaching one year ago…

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@fehler 21 May • On this day, I’d reached such a low point and I was so overwhelmed with work, that I tried to kill myself. I was lucky to get out the other side. The experience changed my life. • How and why could something like this happen?

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@fehler Doing all the things… • When I think back to what I was trying to manage at that time it was ridiculous. • Like many people I didn’t want to miss out anything, so I took on everything.

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@fehler An Ever-Expanding Workload • I was dealing with problems that we all deal with in this room… primarily an ever- expanding workload.

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@fehler Working 9.00–5.00 • My work was extending… It was before 9.00, it was way after 5.00.

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@fehler Working 8.00–6.00 • My work was extending… It was before 9.00, it was way after 5.00.

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@fehler Working 7.00–7.00 • My work was extending… It was before 9.00, it was way after 5.00.

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@fehler Working 6.00–8.00 • My work was extending… It was before 9.00, it was way after 5.00.

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@fehler An Inability to Say, “No.” • I also wasn’t very good at saying, “No.”

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@fehler • These are just some of the things I was managing at the time: • Two startups (Get Invited, Tiny Books); • Three conferences (Industry, Kerning, Crafthouse); • Two books (FSS; Smashing Book #4); • Two articles (8 Faces, .net); • 100+ students across two different courses; • A new course….

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@fehler Totally ____ing Crazy • Looking at that list, with a rational mind, I see how ludicrous it was.

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@fehler Change • I started to ask questions, particularly: How do we ﬁnd ourselves in these situations? • I embarked on research and, being an academic, I went to the source, speaking with psychologists, and reading a great deal. This offered me some insights into how the mind works, so I could manage my mind more effectively. • What follows are some of the things I discovered.

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@fehler 2. Status Anxiety • In his excellent book ‘Status Anxiety’, the philosopher Alain de Boton explores a growing concern with Status Anxiety, a worry about how others perceive us and how this shapes our relationship with the world.

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@fehler We all worry about what others think of us. We all long to succeed and fear failure. We all suﬀer – to a greater or lesser degree, usually privately and with embarrassment – from status anxiety…” “ • De Boton states…

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@fehler This is an almost universal anxiety that rarely gets mentioned directly: an anxiety about what others think of us; about whether we’re judged a success or a failure, a winner or a loser.” — Alain de Boton “ • This resonated with me and encouraged me to explore the culture we now ﬁnd ourselves working in.

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@fehler • When you live in a culture of ‘likes’, ‘favourites’ and other measures it can be crippling to get anything done. • You can ﬁnd yourself perpetually worrying: How will others perceive your work, and how will others perceive your value.

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@fehler • You might not be Barack Obama, but those retweets and favourites - or the lack of them - can affect you nonetheless.

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@fehler • An endless culture of measuring page views can lead you down a very difficult path, often to the exclusion of the other – more important – things in life.

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@fehler 3. Impostor Syndrome • Even if you get all those likes, favourites and retweets, it doesn’t matter, because you’ve convinced yourself you’re an ‘impostor’.

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@fehler • These two - in a sense, related - phenomena intrigued me. • I’m sure everyone knows someone who - unknowingly - suffers from the Dunning-Kruger effect! • I certainly recognised ‘Impostor Syndrome’.

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@fehler Impostor Syndrome [is a] term coined in the 70s to describe the fear that one is not as smart or capable as others think. People who feel like fakes chalk up their accomplishments to external factors such as luck and timing, or worry they are coasting on charm and personality rather than on talent.” — Leigh Buchanan “ • This resonated with me. • Others who feel this way, include: Meryl Streep, Maya Angelou, and Mike Myers… All incredibly talented people, all ﬁlled with crippling self-doubt.

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@fehler • Looking at this through a personal lens, my situation felt like a house of cards, which might collapse at any moment. • Seeing your life through this lens is incredibly stressful.

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@fehler All of this pressure and worry… • We need to ﬁnd ways to relieve this pressure. • One way is to more clearly understand how the mind works, which leads me to the work of Dr Steve Peters.

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@fehler 4. The Chimp Paradox • I’d now like to introduce a mind model for teaching people to understand how the mind works in practice; ‘The Chimp Model’ focuses on everyday personal mind management. It’s a powerful tool.

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@fehler • Steve Peters is a sports psychiatrist who works with the British Cycling team and Team Sky. • A noted sports psychologist he’s worked with Chris Hoy, Victoria Pendleton, Ronnie O’Sullivan and many others.

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@fehler PARIETAL FRONTAL LIMBIC • Everything goes ﬁrst to the limbic, ‘chimp’ brain. • It can then, if you manage a mind, be passed on to the frontal, ‘human’ brain. • Certain tasks can be handled unconsciously by the parietal, ‘computer’ brain.

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@fehler • Peters helpfully labels these parts of the brain with more memorable names.

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@fehler • Consider the chimp...

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@fehler The Chimp • Jumps to Opinions • Thinks in Black and White • Paranoid • Catastrophic • Irrational and Emotive • The chimp is impulsive and hasty.

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@fehler • Consider the human...

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@fehler The Human • Evidence Based • Rational • In Context, With Perspective • Shades of Grey • Balanced Judgement • The human is more measured and rational.

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@fehler • Be wary of the chimp, the chimp responds quickly, it’s ﬁght or ﬂight. • Learn to control the chimp, which has a propensity to react on instinct with little or no rational thought. • The rational brain, on the other hand, takes things a little more slowly.

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@fehler Learn to Manage a Mind • Your mind is a tool. • In order to use it to it’s fullest potential you need to understand how it works. You then need to put that understanding into practice.

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@fehler Chris, I’ve nominated you to represent the school on the School Subcommittee on Entrepreneurship, it reports to the wider Faculty Subcommittee on Entrepreneurship, which reports to the University Committee on Entrepreneurship.” — Anonymous “ • What’s your reaction? If you’re like most people, it’s: “Oh no, another thing on my plate.” • It doesn’t have to be.

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@fehler • The instructions go to the chimp brain, you panic, you get frustrated. • Understanding how the mind works, you can then consciously take time out and pass the instructions on to the human brain.

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@fehler I’m afraid it’s with regret that I’ll have decline that wonderful opportunity, unfortunately I’m already overloaded with other tasks, which include: A, B, C, D, E…” — Chris “ • A rational and measured response. Control the chimp.

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@fehler Practice, Practice, Practice • It’s like exercise, you need to keep putting the tools to use.

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@fehler 5. Breakfasts • The ﬁnal thing I want to talk about is time.

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@fehler j.mp/whatyoueat • Trent Walton wrote an article in 2011 titled ‘You Are What You Eat’. You should read it. • In it he talks about breakfasts. He states: “28,616 breakfasts… based on estimated life expectancy, that’s how many morning meals the average US citizen has to look forward to.” • He urges us to put those breakfasts to good use.

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@fehler 31,025 16,087 – 14,938 – ––––– • The good news, for me, is that the average UK citizen gets quite a few more breakfasts. (The bad news is my lifestyle isn’t too healthy.) • I’ve used 16,087 of my 31,025 breakfasts so far, and I’m officially in the second half of my life. • Knowing that is sobering. It’s important to make every day count.

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@fehler Your ideas need you to stop doing stuﬀ that doesn’t matter. They need you to risk everything for them.” — David Hieatt “ • Looking back on my experience in May 2013, I refocused my goals considerably to focus on the things that matter.

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@fehler Your life need you to stop doing stuﬀ that doesn’t matter.” “ • I’d like to change one word on that quote, changing ‘ideas’ for ‘life’. • We all need to focus on what matters.

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@fehler Don’t Waste Time • Time is ﬁnite, it’s valuable. Once it’s gone, you can never get it back.