Reverse Engineering People

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REVERSE ENGINEERING PEOPLE Emma Jane Hogbin Westby drupal.org/u/emmajane www.gitforteams.com @emmajanehw

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Actually, this talk is titled... A primer on how I taught myself to  be more empathetic.

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THIS IS A TOUCHY FEELY  WOO WOO TALK. Sorry. Not Sorry.

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Temple Grandin Normal people have an incredible lack of empathy.

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DEFINE: EMPATHY The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

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DEFINE: SYMPATHY The feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.

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PRACTICING EMPATHY Level 1: Care just enough to learn more about a person’s life. Level 2: Use thinking strategies to structure interactions. Level 3: Engage with the world from another’s perspective.

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LEVEL 1. CARING JUST ENOUGH Difficulty — Beginner

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Molly Ringwald Compartmentalisation is way overrated.

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REWARDS & RISKS Improves team cohesion. Requires a time investment. CARING JUST ENOUGH

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COLLECT STORIES. Learn about people by asking them questions. CARING JUST ENOUGH

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STFU AND LISTEN. Listen until there is no more story. Respond. CARING JUST ENOUGH

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REFER BACK. Follow-up on a previous story. CARING JUST ENOUGH

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LEVEL 2. THINKING STRATEGIES Difficulty — Intermediate

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The biggest mistake is believing there is only one way to have a connection. Deborah Tannen

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REWARDS & RISKS Able to engineer successful outcomes. Improves capacity for diverse thinking. Perceived as manipulative. THINKING STRATEGIES

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UNCOVER MOTIVATORS. THINKING STRATEGIES Unpack why a person behaves the way they do.

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WWXD?

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THINKING STRATEGIES Decision-Making validate values-driven experience crux trust your heart conclude Understanding clarify empathise tune-in scan express structure Creativity brainstorm challenge reframe envision flow flash of insight

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CREATIVE THINKING brainstorm challenge reframe envision flow flash of insight

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RECOGNISE  CREATIVE LANGUAGE Can we try ... I know we’re done, but what about ... OMG! I just had this great idea ... Why do you think ... Is this the best we can do ...

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UNDERSTANDING THINKING clarify empathise tune-in scan express structure

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RECOGNISE UNDERSTANDING LANGUAGE So what you’re saying is ... Just to clarify ... I think this is related to ... So I made this spreadsheet ... That must feel horrible!

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DECISION THINKING validate values-driven experience crux gut instinct conclude

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RECOGNISE DECISION LANGUAGE I’m ready to move on to ... I don’t know why I think this, but ... Last time we tried this ... The real problem is ... My gut tells me ...

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CREATE OUTCOME- BASED INTERACTIONS. THINKING STRATEGIES Help you help me.

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CREATE OUTCOME- BASED INTERACTIONS. THINKING STRATEGIES Help me help you.

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Emma’s

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LEVEL 3. IMAGINATION Difficulty — Advanced

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REWARDS & RISKS Truly creative problem solving. Overwhelming for (highly)  sensitive people. Cause doubt for self-worth. IMAGINATION

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SEEK TO UNDERSTAND. Complain about yourself from the other’s perspective. IMAGINATION

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SEEK TO EXPERIENCE. Live your day through the other’s constraints. IMAGINATION

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Bob Wiele The thinking process should be no more left to chance  than the deliberate practice of a skill.

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LEVEL UP. Level 1: Care just enough to learn more about a person’s life. Level 2: Use thinking strategies to structure interactions. Level 3: Engage with the world from another’s perspective.

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AIM FOR EMPATHY Sympathy: Care just enough to learn more about a person’s life. Understanding: Use thinking strategies to structure interactions. Empathy: Engage with the world from another’s perspective.

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Maya Angelou I think we all have empathy.  We may not have enough courage to display it.

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PRACTICE EMPATHY follow-up:  @emmajanehw  emma @ gitforteams.com feedback via the session node  https://events.drupal.org/barcelona2015 http://gitforteams.com/resources/cultivating-empathy.html

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Sprint: Friday https://www.flickr.com/photos/amazeelabs/ 9965814443/in/faves-38914559@N03/ Sprint with the Community on Friday. We have tasks for every skillset. Mentors are available for new contributors. An optional Friday morning workshop for first- time sprinters will help you get set up. Follow @drupalmentoring.