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MORE CATS THE INTERNET NEEDS

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I’M MONICA @NOTWALDORF

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DNS DOMEOWN NAME SYSTEM

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DNS WWW.GOOGLE.COM == 74.125.226.134

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CAT-DNS WWW.GOOGLE.COM == CATS? CATS!!

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HOW DO IT DO IT

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UDP USER DATAGRAM PROTOCOL

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UDP “THE HONEY BADGER OF THE INTERNET PROTOCOLS”

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UDP PORT 53

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DNS QUERIES

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WWW.IMAGES.GOOGLE.COM ? RECURSIVE NAME SERVER: YOU: HOLD ON. I’LL FIND OUT FOR YOU.

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WWW.IMAGES.GOOGLE.COM ? ROOT SERVER: RECURSIVE NAME SERVER: NOPE. TRY THE .COM SERVER.

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WWW.IMAGES.GOOGLE.COM ? .COM SERVER: NOPE. TRY THE GOOGLE SERVER. RECURSIVE NAME SERVER:

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WWW.IMAGES.GOOGLE.COM ? GOOGLE SERVER: I GOT IT! IT’S 74.125.226.135 RECURSIVE NAME SERVER:

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DNS MESSAGES 1987 RFCS ARE PAINFUL RFCS

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0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 QR OPCODE AA TC RD RA RCODE

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LET’S TALK ABOUT TOOLS

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NSLOOKUP NSLOOKUP GOOGLE.COM

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WIRESHARK ———

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SURPRISE PENGUINS!

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ᕕ ( ᐛ ) ᕗ FINALLY, THE CODES!

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“I'LL OFTEN DROP DOWN TO NODE.JS IF I REALLY NEED TO BE CLOSE TO THE METAL” - SOME DUDE ON HACKER NEWS

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require(‘node-bitarray’) ! require(‘buffer’).Buffer ! require(‘dgram’) ! require(‘ip’)

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var dnsServer = dgram.createSocket('udp4'); dnsServer.bind(53,'localhost'); ! dnsServer.on('message', function (msg, rinfo) { ! // Step 1. Parse message. // Step 2. Make answer, echoing the question // Step 3. ??? // Step 4. CATS. ! dnsServer.send(…); } ! dnsServer.on("listening", function () { if (process.getuid && process.setuid) process.setuid(501); // Default user. }

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var dnsServer = dgram.createSocket('udp4'); dnsServer.bind(53,'localhost'); ! dnsServer.on('message', function (msg, rinfo) { ! // Step 1. Parse message. // Step 2. Make answer, echoing the question // Step 3. ??? // Step 4. CATS. ! dnsServer.send(…); } ! dnsServer.on("listening", function () { if (process.getuid && process.setuid) process.setuid(501); // Default user. }

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var dnsServer = dgram.createSocket('udp4'); dnsServer.bind(53,'localhost'); ! dnsServer.on('message', function (msg, rinfo) { ! // Step 1. Parse message. // Step 2. Make answer, echoing the question // Step 3. ??? // Step 4. CATS. ! dnsServer.send(…); } ! dnsServer.on("listening", function () { if (process.getuid && process.setuid) process.setuid(501); // Default user. }

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IMGUR OR: HOW WE ARE AUTHORITATIVE ABOUT CATS

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CAT-DNS, ENGAGE

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INSTA-REGRETS

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LESSONS LEARNED

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BAD DNS IS SLOW CHERISH 8.8.8.8

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OPEN SOURCE THE INTERNET IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE

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CAT SERVICE THE INTERNET IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE

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PULL REQUESTS THE INTERNET IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE

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“CAT-DNS BEHAVES LIKE AN AUTHORITATIVE NAME SERVER, BUT DOES NOT SET THE AA BIT. SURELY CAT-DNS IS AUTHORITATIVE ABOUT CATS IN DNS.” ———

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=^. .^= @NOTWALDORF