1-8 FAQs_ How do I start when I'm overwhelmed or I've stalle... Mon, 2/28 4:51PM 10:20 SUMMARY KEYWORDS stalled, plan, overwhelmed, pattern, important, body, consequence, feel, mental wellness, energy, reminds, reach, work, depression, urgent, advantage, delegate, prioritize, frequently asked questions, conference room SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:00 Hey there, Successful Mama, we're doing a couple of frequently asked questions for Module One, specifically in motivation. Because a lot of the time, the issue isn't so much that we don't know what the root of our motivation is, but that we actually know what to do, but we're not doing it. And then we get mad at ourselves, or we feel embarrassed or shameful, because we know are supposed to do, but we're not doing it. And generally speaking, they end up in two different paths. And it's kind of like the two sides of the same coin, if you will. Patricia Sung 00:36 So one of the questions is, how do I start when I've stalled out? And then how do I get started when I'm overwhelmed by all of the options? So it's almost the same issue, but then flip flop in reverse. Patricia Sung 00:53 So how do I start when I've stalled out? This is like, I know what I need to do, but I'm not moving. Patricia Sung 01:01 Whereas How do I start when I'm overwhelmed, that's like, I'm doing and I'm doing and I'm doing but I don't think I'm doing the thing that matters, or I'm not doing anything, because I'm just kind of spinning in circles. This one reminds me of those little like windup toys where you like you want it up, and it just kind of like swirls around aimlessly. This is what that reminds me 

of is when we're, we have the energy to do something, but we don't have direction. So we just end up spinning in circles. So there are clear ways that we can combat this is I'm going to give you some ideas. And then I think this will help you start get the ball rolling on some of your own ideas as well. Patricia Sung 01:42 How do I start when I am overwhelmed, this usually comes down to a lack of a plan, and not having prioritize, you don't know what's most important. It's like whatever's on fire is what I did. First, whatever popped up in front of me is what I did first, this is where truly having a routine is going to help you a lot. Because all of the things that have to get done, just generally continually always have to get in, you will have a plan for all those. So that's going to take that overwhelm down because you don't feel stressed because you already know you have a plan for laundry, for dinners, for pickups. When you have plans for all the things that are expected, then your stress mostly relies on getting them all done, and what the unexpected. So you're taking that stress level down because you have a plan and you know what's going to come so through this class, you will see that that stress level in that arena go down. Patricia Sung 02:39 And another helpful thing is that when you're feeling overwhelmed by all the stuff is recognizing when that happens, start to look for the patterns of where you see that commonly happen. But for me, it's usually when I know I have a lot of stuff going on. And I'm juggling more than usual. And I haven't gotten it out of my brain and onto paper. And it could very well be that I have written it down, it's written down. But in, you know, it's not an organized fashion or scribble something over here and I made a note my phone and I wrote this on my calendar, and it feels very spread out. And I don't have a clear plan. So I like to do a brain dump there, get everything out on paper. And then I can make a plan for what's going to happen with all that stuff. Patricia Sung 03:23 And another resource that I have here in your class is the Eisenhower matrix. Which is something we talk about in daily planning. It's a tool to help you learn how to prioritize, but it has my ADHD interpretation in language of explaining how that is. So it's dividing your tasks into how important they are and how urgent they are. Patricia Sung 03:48 And so there's things that are important and urgent. There are things that are important but not urgent. There are things that are urgent, but not important. And then things that are neither important nor urgent. And when you can sort your to do list into those categories. It allows you to see like, okay, here's the things I have to get done, because they are urgent and important. And then it allows you to schedule the things that are important but not urgent. And allows you to decide like, are these things that are urgent but not important? Like do I really need to do them? Can they be done later? Are they really that urgent? What's my consequence 

here for not getting these things done. And a lot of times, you can delegate those things. And then on the non important non urgent ones, they would be the things you for sure want to get rid of, or delegate or outsource. Just not do it. Patricia Sung 04:43 So those three things will help you figure out when you're just feeling very overwhelmed and don't know where to restart. Those are some good starting points. Patricia Sung 04:52 The second half of that question is how do I start when I've stalled out. Usually this is like I know what I need to do but my energy just went like (insert explosion). Okay, again, we're gonna start looking for the patterns do you see that happening at a certain time of day? Is that something that happens more on certain types of tasks with certain types of people. You can start to find the patterns there that will help you, you know, start to make a plan. Patricia Sung 05:27 This way, we also want to honor our body and our mind. There are some times where the reason we are not doing anything is because our body is yelling at us telling us to stop, and you need a break. In in those cases, you it may just be that you need a break, you need to get more sleep, your body is like shouting at you no more. Patricia Sung 05:48 It could be part of your cycle, where you're just in the part of your cycle where you have less energy, and you're not going to get as much done in that week or next two weeks, wherever you are in the cycle. Another thing that helps me when I stalled out is to think about, what are my consequences for not getting these things done? Are they things that there's a harsh consequence for not getting done? Or is it not really that big of a deal? And that allows me to make a decision of like, am I going to be like, You know what, I'm going to honor my body right now. And we're not doing anything, or is it like, okay, I can pull it together and do 20 minutes of this thing that has to get done. Knowing your consequences is what allows you to start to prioritize and know where it falls on the important not important axis there. Patricia Sung 06:38 Another thing that helps in when you're just stalling out is doing a body double or accountability time. Where if you notice it's just, you know, every afternoon around like three o'clock at work, like I'm just I'm done. Perhaps that's a time where you know, I need to get out and do a little walk for 15 minutes. And then I meet in a conference room and work next to a co-worker. Body doubling is a really great tool for ADHD. Working alongside someone else. 

They don't even have to be doing the same thing or doing a anything, except doing a thing. And that will help us kind of get motivated along. I was gonna get off on the tangent. Now I'm gonna wait on that for later. Patricia Sung 07:32 And then the last tip I have for when you start out is doing some kind of pattern interrupt. So something like Mel Robbins 54321 or setting a timer. Something that's going to jolt you out of that pattern that reminds me of Newton's laws of energy. Like an object in motion stays in motion and an object that's still will stay still unless something happens. There's some kind of forced upon it, right? Like, if you're just like stuck on the couch Netflix thing? Yes. I'm still watching. Yes, I'm still watching. Yes, I'm still watching. What can get you out of that funk? Patricia Sung 08:14 A lot of times, like when your significant other walks in the door, all of a sudden that's like, Oh, like that? Is your pattern interrupt of like, oh crap, I've been sitting here for a long time doing nothing. And how can you use that to your advantage, instead of it being a panic or dramatic response to like, oh, no, this person's gonna think I'm a piece of doodoo that doesn't do anything. Instead, how can you use that to your advantage? Patricia Sung 08:39 Like if you know that when your spouse comes home, it's like okay, now we got to be working on, you know, dinnertime, is it possible that you can prep dinner and then plan for like some rest time right before. Because you know, when your partner comes home now you're going to start on the dinner plan. So using that to your advantage, how can you purposefully place pattern interrupters into your day to get you out of those funks. Patricia Sung 09:08 I will say a very quick like caveat like if you are dealing with mental health issues in terms of anxiety and depression, this is very common and in the simplest and shortest way possible. I will say please reach out for help. Because it's my reminder to wrap up. I do not want you to suffer alone and you don't have to. Please reach out for help. Patricia Sung 09:37 Because if you find yourself consistently in that mode of struggle bus, there could be other things going on and if we when we reach out for help and you can start to put things in place to help you get through those things. You don't have to stay in that low place of you know depression or low mental wellness if you will. There is help out there and there's there's people out there who can help. So I want to say more on that but I don't want to make this a super long video. 

Patricia Sung 10:10 So know that you are not alone. Being mom is hard and you're doing a great job. I'll see you next time.