The Lazy Man's Guide To Grappling

Transcript

1. The Lazy Man’s guide to Grappling Bakari Akil II, Ph.D. Copyright 2010 by Bakari Akil II, Ph.D. Smashwords Edition ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. No part of this report may be reproduced or transmitted in any form whatsoever, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any informational storage or retrieval system without express written, dated and signed permission from the author. Manufactured in the United States of America Dedication To my beautiful wife, Wilanda.
2. About the Author Bakari Akil II, Ph.D. has been practicing no-gi Brazilian Jiu-jitsu since 2004 and BJJ with a gi since 2008. He has a Blue belt in BJJ and a Green Belt in Judo. Akil has also written about grappling for Black Belt Magazine and his blog, Jiujitsu365, has been nominated twice for “Best BJJ Blog” by the Fightworks Podcast in 2008 and 2009. Akil holds a Ph.D. in Mass Communication from Florida State University. He is currently an Assistant Professor and teaches mass media, journalism and communication courses. He has taught and counseled hundreds of people over the years in areas related to graduate education, mass media and how to be more effective communicators. He also writes for Psychology Today and his blog, Communication Central. Click these links to see what Bakari is up to on Twitter! Other books by Bakari Akil II, Ph.D. Grappling for Newbies: What Every BJJ and Submission Grappler Should Know! A Vampire on the Mat M.U.S.C.L.E. – The Cheatin’ Security Guard Pop Psychology: The psychology of pop culture and everyday life! Super You! 101 Ways to Maximize your Potential! Table of Contents Chapter 1 - Breathe Easy Chapter 2- Who’s your Papa? Chapter 3 - Lazy Man Takedowns Chapter 4 - Sometimes you have to let them pass Chapter 5 - Foregoing Warm-ups! Chapter 6 - Magic Funk Taps Chapter 7 - Getting out of Difficult Positions Chapter 8 - Be Careful of My Shoulder Chapter 9 - Credit Vision Chapter 10 - Adjusting your Gi Chapter 11 - Use one Approach to Death Chapter 12 - Blue Belt Heaven Chapter 13 - Being Scrong (Yes, I said Scrong) Chapter 14 - Throwing Weight Around Chapter 15 - Superhero Tap Chapter 16 - Punching Bags and Grappling Dummies Chapter 17 - Watching Video Tape Chapter 18 - Water Breaks Chapter 19 - Right Place at the Right Time Chapter 20 - Final Words Chapter 1 - Breathe Easy When new guys come to a grappling school and wrestle for the first time one thing a veteran grappler can count on is the new guy gassing out. By gassing out I mean not being able to bring in enough oxygen to feed muscle output. I have grappled against many new guys who physically couldn’t continue after two minutes, some in less than one. I now understand what the ladies have been saying all of these years. Joe Rogan, while announcing for the UFC, often says that getting tired makes, “mice of men.” Well if you have no air you won’t turn into a mouse you’ll become a 'meese.' A mouse can still move. I’ve had guys who gassed who couldn’t even signal they were done. I was tap dancing on them before I realized they were in trouble. With new grapplers their adrenalin is pumping and fear clouds their decision-making ability. Using strength becomes the preferred method to get out of trouble. This is a problem for some veteran grapplers as well. I have rolled against quite a few who tapped only because they gassed. As a lazy grappler I don’t have this problem. I conserve energy at all costs. I was lucky. In my very first grappling class my instructor, David (pronounced Dah-veed) Fermin, told me to control my breathing. He told me to relax and breathe easy. Soon I began to relax even in the middle of trauma filled grappling sessions. I learned to think of it this way. If you’re new, you’re going to get pawned by a veteran grappler. If that weren’t the case there wouldn’t be so many people grappling. (For example, Caleb and Dan of the FightWorksPodcast have over 600,000 grapplers that listen to their show every week.) If you’re going to get beat anyway then realize that this is an opportunity to take it easy. There is no need to be anxious or worry about being vanquished. You can save the fight or flight hormone for when you’re facing some random punk on the street or your local bar. A grappling school is a learning environment and if you grapple long enough you will be able to hand out more whippings than there will be grapplers to accept them. But in the beginning your percentage of handing out beat-downs will be low. If you accept this then you can calm down and will be able to pick and choose when you need to ratchet your effort up and when you should reel it in. Your body won’t send out all of its resources so you can gorilla it out for two minutes and then desert you and make you into a defenseless puppy. By picking and choosing my battles I largely control how tired I get. For instance, if someone gets me in a solid side control there is no need for me to start pitching and bucking trying to shake them off. Instead I use the techniques I know to defend, wait for a subtle shift in movement and then go for the sweep or reverse. I bide my time and when they give me a little space I explode and use techniques or a couple of other tricks I will discuss later.
3. If I can’t think of a counter then I follow the principle of not letting my opponents do whatever they want to do. And I mean anything. If they try to grab my collar I block them. If they try to slide a knee across my belly I block them. If they try to wipe the sweat off their brow I block that too. But the main idea is no wasted movement. Bridging up and down six times, expecting it will magically dislodge my opponent is not an effective game plan. If they are not moving then I can rest too. Squirming and panicky movement not only makes me tired it helps them in their search for submissions. I take it easy, breathe and wait for a chance to move. Chapter 2- Who’s your Papa? I do not like to be rushed and I prefer to take my sweet, precious time when doing things. I feel the same way about grappling. As a lazy grappler I get flustered by the 200 miles an hour grapplers, therefore I have to control them from the beginning. The best way for me to achieve this is by establishing a dominant position. I have to be on top. Whether it is side control, north-south, full mount or sprawling on someone’s turtle guard I have to be the ‘man’ of our grappling relationship. In every grapple someone has to be in charge and it might as well be me. I have to feel that if this were a wrestling bout in a prison shower room then at the end I will be doing the poking. The easiest way to achieve a dominant position is by simply asking them. “Hey, I wanted to work on my side control today. Do you mind if we take turns switching from that position?” After you convince your mark, I mean rolling buddy, make sure you start in the top position first and then dominate your partner for the entire five minutes until the buzzer rings. This keeps you from having to start on the bottom. Once the five minutes is up, switch partners and repeat. But most people will probably catch on quickly to your little game so you will have to learn how to legitimately take them down and establish dominance. We’ll talk about lazy man takedowns later, but for now let’s just assume you already know how to get to the top positions. The question that arises after establishing dominance is, “Now what?” The answer is, relax! But before we can relax, of course, there are a few ‘extras’ that must be remembered. The first is “position before submission.” It is not enough to just be in side control or achieve the full mount. In the full mount you have to be sure that you have your knees under the armpits and that you stay loose so that you can flow with your partner’s bucking and shucking from side to side. In side control you have to make sure that your chest is flush with your partner’s chest and that your head is not leaning too far over his torso which makes it possible for him to power roll you (my favorite move by the way). In the north- south position you have to make sure that you post your legs properly and dig your elbows into your partner’s armpits and hold his torso tightly so he can’t slip your grip. In other words, paying attention to the particulars allows you to buckle them down and get your needed rest. It’s like the seatbelt in a car or airplane. Have you ever tried to get out of a seat but forgot to take off the seatbelt? It probably snatched you back quicker than when you sat down. That’s what the extras allow you to do. Once you have them clamped down then you can begin to rest and start thinking about what you want for dinner after practice. Depending upon experience they will be moving a little or a lot in order to break free, but it will be a lot less than you because you have established position. For them, not only have they not established a favorable position, they are operating from a deficit. To throw my grappling buddies off when I am on top, I sometimes act as if I am going after a choke or I will pull their gi out of their belt and pretend I am working on a new type of submission. In reality I am just buying time, as most people will try to defend by trying to remove my hand or keep me from tugging on their gi. I often have no idea what I am doing but I gain precious rest while pretending I possess awesome skills. Once you have gathered sufficient rest you can move on to your next objective, which for me is more rest. For the out of shape, overweight, exhausted or just plain lazy grappler, being on top is the first step in grappling success. Chapter 3 - Lazy Man Takedowns Have you ever watched grapplers at the beginning of bouts at Naga or Grapplers Quest? If I didn’t know any better I would think I was watching WWE for small guys. After slapping hands a lot of guys circle each other and reach out their hands to each other as if they are going to clasp them together and then see who will say uncle first. Or you have the ones who continuously fake double leg shots like Urijah Faber. My favorite ones to watch are grapplers who clasp hands and then place their heads against their opponents. Then they walk back and forth together looking for an opening. All of this is based on cooperation and I don’t want to cooperate. As a lazy grappler I don’t have the energy or motivation to spend two minutes trying to get you down. I need you down yesterday. Luckily, I spent a year taking Judo before I ever stepped on a BJJ mat. That training allows me to expend very little energy against my fellow grappling brethren when taking them down. Yet, even though I know a few techniques that allow me to take advantage of my fellow grapplers, I believe it is my lazy man approach that allows me to get virtually effortless takedowns. Let me explain. In my current academy, Gracie Barra, we work on takedowns every class. And at the academy I attended before Gracie Barra, Combat Athletix, we worked on takedowns quite often. However, in the majority of the places I have trained, takedowns and throws were not on the menu. Drilling often focused on ground techniques even though when we rolled we often started from a standing position. As a consequence a lot of guys focused on pulling guard. Yet for someone like me, working from the guard takes too much out of me. As a former Judoka I quickly realized I could take down my BJJ partners with ease. Unfortunately (for them), rank didn’t matter either, as I was able to throw, drag and pull most people I faced down to the mat. (If you don’t practice takedowns and takedown defense it doesn’t matter what color your belt is.) Consequently, I learned what throws worked easiest. “Position before submission” or obtaining a dominant position before a takedown attempt also applies when trying to put your opponent on the ground. I like to lock the upper body up before attempting a takedown. No thirty seconds of pummeling for me before a clinch. My mission is to, as quickly as possible, do one of the following: overwrap both of my opponent’s arms (one will suffice too), apply a bear hug or get a Greco Roman grip. Once I lock up an opponent I like to apply an inside or outside leg trip. I prefer the outside because it helps me land in side control as opposed to the inside leg trip where I may end up in a scramble and let my opponent recover guard. The other group of takedowns I like to use are foot sweeps. If I were to phrase this next sentence like Malcolm Gladwell, I would say that foot sweeps are the holy grail of takedowns. One moment you’re up and the next minute you are lying flat on your back asking, “What happened?” The beauty of a foot sweep is that it occurs in an entirely natural context. After you lock up your opponent’s upper body you can force him to walk toward or away from you. As they place one foot in front of the other all you have to do is sweep their lead foot off the ground. So if he steps forward with his right foot then you sweep him with your left foot. This sweep is delicious. Your grappling buddy will fall flat on his back and you can virtually collapse into side control; no scrambling and no fighting for position. Listen to me; find a takedown that works for you and master it. A lazy grappler couldn’t ask for more. Chapter 4 - Sometimes you have to let them pass At times, despite the best of intentions, you end up on your back desperately trying to hold someone in your guard. Or you may be the type of player who prefers to pull guard shortly after you slap hands. At this point the battle begins. The guy on top starts to put his knee on your tailbone, presses his elbows into your thighs, and reverts to all sorts of ‘shenanigans’ so he can pass.
4. Honestly, I could do without all of the grabbing of my gi pants for bull fighter passes, pushing on my solar plexus to maintain base or grabbing both of my thighs to stack me on my back. I once had a 275-pound guy place all his weight on my ‘chicken winged’ leg while passing my guard. My knee popped four times and I emitted a soul-shattering scream that I heard while floating above my body. I had invested so much in not letting him pass and instead ended up in a knee brace and spending a few months out of training. So sometimes when my grappling partner is going ‘balls out’ or in case of a woman, well never mind, trying to obtain the pass, I give it to him. It’s not a competition or a street fight so nothing is lost. Besides, I have a secret weapon. I think of it as a ‘kill-switch’ for side control. In one class I hit this move seven times in a row on different people. It probably would have been more but the last guy said, “Let me give you a break since you’ve been down here since we started. As I am a lazy grappler I was happy to let him take my place. I learned this next technique from a guy who was about 5ft tall. I am 6ft/200 plus. I passed his guard, or so I thought, and obtained side control. Next thing I knew I was flying over his body and he had me in side control. After the round I immediately asked him what he had done. It was simple. When your opponent leans at a 45-degree angle in side control or extends his head too far past your body they are in the perfect position to be flipped. With my inside forearm and hand on their hip and my outside arm wrapped around their back I roll into my opponent and then roll back in the opposite direction. The results are amazing. My largest roll was against a guy who was 6’4 and 295 pounds. With the proper leverage you can surprise a lot of people with this technique. When I flipped the 295-pounder he stood up and asked our instructor, “Did you see that?” One of my assistant instructors, a Brown belt named Carlos, dubbed the technique, “Power Roll.” He used to always say to the people I grappled against, “Don’t lean too far over or he’s going to Power Roll you!” Then they would lean too far over ---- and I would Power Roll them. Ultimately, it pays to have a couple of tricks you can count on when things get hectic and so it doesn’t mean life or death if they pass. Chapter 5 - Foregoing Warm-ups! Have you ever been in class, dripping with sweat, lying on the floor at the tail end of a warm-up and look up to see one of your classmates sauntering into the academy? They don’t even have the decency to pretend with an ‘Oh, Shit!’ I’m late jog, not even a brisk walk. Instead they walk in with a slow saunter. Sometimes they even have the nerve to point and wave at someone on the mat with you. In most of the places I have been the guy on the floor training, but in one academy I will admit for a period of time I was that person that was always late. I was on burnout status. I attended two weeks straight where the warm-ups were like a scene from a Cross-fit Youtube video and lasted 30 minutes each. I had had enough. It was time to change into my lazy grappler uniform. I told my instructor that my work schedule changed the next day. I was going to end up being 30 minutes late to every class. I had the type of job where no one would catch on and if I was going to keep grappling I had to do it. I was not your role model grappler, but I was still in the game. In a perfect world I would wake up, walk into my living room and my Jiu-jitsu instructor would be waiting with a bowl of fruit and 45 minutes of free instruction. There’d be no trip to the gym and no warm-up. The drills, techniques and rolling would be all we’d do. I would stretch on my own afterward and spend the rest of the day basking in the euphoria I usually feel after going to a regular BJJ class. I could do this everyday until infinity. I will admit it, I just want to drill and grapple. I loathe extensive warm-ups. I’m not trying to fight in an MMA organization and I don’t want to be in terrific shape for the hell of it. I just want to grapple man! As a lazy grappler warm-ups have been the bane of my grappling existence. Fifteen minutes of ‘shrimping’ and fifteen minutes of extreme calisthenics before drilling isn’t why I became a grappler. My run of being the late guy lasted for a couple of months and when my burnout period was over my work schedule suddenly changed. --- My ‘work’ excuse worked for me but it might not work for others. Yet, I won’t divulge other excuses because as you know when anything is introduced to the BJJ world, such as technique, people copy it and then others develop counters to it. So I won’t ‘out’ those who have been surviving burnout and disillusion with grappling by taking the lazy way out. I don’t want any instructors thinking overtime on how they can make training fair to all. But before I end this section let me tell you about a lazy grappler who took being late to another level. I’ll call him Teddy. This guy’s gonads were the size of lemons. He didn’t arrive after warm-ups. Teddy would arrive after warm-ups, the self-defense portion of class, drills and techniques. His only goal was to roll. Near the end of drill Teddy would come in with his big gym bag and even bigger smile. He’d stop and chat with whoever was sitting in the chairs and wave and nod to us on the floor. When it was announced it was time to roll he’d go change and come back ready to rumble. He would then run circles around newbie’s and even some of the vets because he was totally fresh. After about two rounds he’d disappear. I never saw him leave. But he saw himself leave. Teddy was living his grappling dream. Chapter 6 - Magic Funk Taps I once knew a guy who smelled so bad that I would tap to him whenever he achieved a dominant position. When his t–shirt or rash guard would hover over my face, my gag reflex would go into full gear as if I had just walked into a room with a rotting carcass. If he landed in side control and my first attempts to shake him off didn’t work I would leave my arm out a little so he could get a Kimura. It was either that or drown in my own ‘upchuck.’ After I tapped, I would make up an excuse about seeing stars or needing water and would excuse myself. I don’t think he was aware of his power. He may have thought that he was ‘That Good!’ Admittedly, he didn’t always smell that bad, he had differing levels of funkiness. Yet, consciously or unconsciously, he had figured out how to make people submit faster than people with years or even months of training. If it was a conscious decision, then he was using what I call the Funk Tap. If he didn’t know, then he was using Magic Funk Taps. This happens when you don’t know that your body odor or clothing is smelly and people tap suddenly by making seemingly silly mistakes. This isn’t my personal tool but we’re having an honest conversation about being a lazy grappler so we have to talk about it. Over the years I have fallen victim to funk taps many times and I have unwittingly exposed my partners to funk occasionally. (It took me a while to realize that stay-dri shirts not only keep sweat from touching your body it also keeps sweat from being washed out.) So if you want another tool in your arsenal then unwashed gis, skipping showers and biking or walking to class (even if you have a car) is a sure way to get quick taps. Just be aware that one day someone will out you or worse you will walk into the room and hear people joking about you behind your back. You will be the ‘butt’ of their jokes. Chapter 7 - Getting out of Difficult Positions Have you ever been working a guy over, using some of your best grappling magic on him and just as you are about to make him tap he starts talking? “Okay, you’re doing good! If you just turn your hips a little more you can get the tap. Hold on. Wait a minute, I’ll show you!” As you stop grappling and stare in disbelief, this ‘num-nut’ begins to show you how to obtain the position you just had him in and the tap you would have pulled off if he hadn’t stopped you. This guy is a lazy grappler, but he is the dirty kind. Instead of fighting his way out of a difficult position or doing the ‘hard work’ it takes to be humble after a tap, he instead halts action or takes responsibility for your grappling prowess. You can be this type of lazy grappler, but note this is considered a punk move. I once had a guy who tapped me out and when we resumed I was returning the favor. I was in mount and just about to sink in a knuckle choke, which is my superhero move. As I began to set it up he began talking and trying to escape his fate. The guys who were watching made grumbling noises and the assistant instructor told him to just continue rolling. However, by that time he had already saved himself. I thought it was a douche tactic and didn’t look at the guy in the same way afterward. It is not something I would do as a lazy grappler, but I promised to tell you everything.
5. Chapter 8 - Be Careful of My Shoulder At some point you’ve probably met this next grappler. In fact, it may be you. You know, the grappler with the bruised rib, the sore ankle or the hurt shoulder. He begs you before you start to watch out for his appendage or joint and then asks you to roll at 50 percent. Yet, as soon as you slap hands he attacks you like a male monkey attacks a female monkey in heat. When this happens you have just fallen prey to a page out of the lazy grappler’s handbook. Certain lazy grapplers will talk you into putting yourself at a disadvantage. They will pimp you into allowing them to gain a dominant position or giving up a tap. Also be aware of the guy who asks if you have any injuries they need to watch out for. It may be a strange request to you but what the grappler is really saying is that he is going to 'whip your ass' and doesn’t want you to have any excuses. We once had a purple belt visit our gym and he took the rushing hippo approach to wrestling. As I was being lazy that day I had the chance to watch him dismantle two guys and then he asked me to roll. When he asked me if I had any injuries he needed to know about he didn’t even look at me. He was staring off to the side and was leaning forward as if waiting for the starting pistol to go off. He was trying to intimidate me into being passive and afraid. As a lazy grappler my security alarm went off. I knew the best way to avoid a spanking is to take the paddle away from the spanker. When he lunged I over-hooked his left arm, grabbed his neck with my right hand and pulled him down at a 45-degree angle to the ground (We started on our knees.). By taking him down I let him know I wasn’t intimidated. That may seem un-lazy like but my approach kept me from being in crisis mode the entire time. We ended in a stalemate and were able to leave with our pride intact. The moral of all of this; be careful of people who say they have injuries, but still want to roll. Don’t rush ‘em, but keep in mind they may rush you! Chapter 9 - Credit Vision As you already know, I don’t like long warm-ups. I don’t practice BJJ to compete and don’t get into random fights in the ‘street’ where I will need endurance. But even if I did get into fights in the ‘street,’ if it is not over in the first two minutes is it really a street fight? But anyway, there are times when I don’t want to grapple, period. But at the same time I have been away too long from the academy. I don’t want to become a stranger or one of those once a month guys who have been grappling for two years but have the skills of a newbie, so I ‘bite the bullet’ and pull a lazy grappler move. I visit my academy in street clothes. Note: This can be a dangerous move, because even as a lazy grappler, watching someone perform a move incorrectly on the mat can lead to you pulling off your shoes and heading to the mat to instruct. Further, if one of your favorite grappling buddies is present, you may find yourself rolling on the mat in a button down shirt and khaki Dockers. But if you can avoid that temptation it can score you some points all around. It demonstrates to others that you are serious about grappling. From their vantage point you have taken the time out of your day to visit the gym even though you weren’t able to practice. (Oh yeah, it’s good to make up a little excuse such as you had to work late or have a nagging injury that it is bothering you and you think you should give it a rest. If you’ve grappled long enough something should always be bothering you or sore so it won’t really be a lie if making something up bothers you.) The instructor also notes your presence and knows that you’re still in the hunt for proficiency and that next promotion. In the future he won’t remember that you were there in your street clothes. He will just note that you are a devoted, though slightly lazy, student. Chapter 10 - Adjusting your Gi Where I train now there is a rule that you must face the wall when fixing or adjusting your gi. So anytime your belt falls off, or if you need to pull up your pants or your gi opens up you have to turn away from your training partner and take a few moments to pull yourself together. Ah, man! When I heard this rule it was sweet words to my lazy grappling ears. I have often used fixing my gi as a tool to catch my breath in intense grappling sessions, where I have pretended like there was nothing more important on this earth than to make sure that my gi was in proper alignment before I resumed grappling with a dude on the ground. So when I heard it was a legitimate rule I was in a state of bliss. I use it like tennis players, such as Rafa Nadal, who use towels after a long rally and they are winded. They don’t really need to wipe off sweat from the grip of their racquets or their foreheads but they wipe down as if they had just stepped out of the sauna. I treat fixing my belt the same way. If I become exhausted during a roll or if we are working on a particularly taxing drill and the instructor seems to have forgotten about us then I will promptly announce, “Hold on for a second, let me fix my belt,” and then I will take a minute to relax. I have seen the best in submission grappling do it, especially the Black belts. Oh my god do they take their sweet time when fixing their belt during a competition. They walk around as if they are calm but I suspect they are really trying to pull their thoughts together, rest or come up with a strategy. I don’t know for sure because I am not a Black belt yet, but I am a lazy grappler and that’s what I’d use it for. Take your time, tie your belt or fix your clothes. If you’re getting beat anyway, there is no need to rush into the ‘ass whipping.’ Take time to reflect, catch your breath and then try again. Chapter 11 - Use one Approach to Death I know everyone advocates developing a full game, saying you should be able to handle people from all positions, be able to defend a multitude of techniques, etc, ad nauseum. As a lazy grappler, I advocate a different approach. If you are really good at something why bother developing minor skills. No one bothers Roger Gracie for passing your guard, getting side control, obtaining the mount and then tapping people out with a collar choke. My goal is to impose my game on you. If a Black belt plays the inverted guard game with Ryan Hall they would probably lose. That’s his style and he imposes it on his opponents. If UFC fighter and leg lock monster, Rousimar Palhares, started to clamp down on another UFC fighter’s legs and the other fighter decided to trade heel hooks with him he might as well set up his appointments with his orthopedist. (Let’s face it, Palhares doesn’t let go.) If I had to grow up using Scotch tape for bandages on deep cuts I would never want to go back to that lifestyle either so whoever I fought better have insurance. I have a foot sweep-side control-mount-knuckle choke combo that I use every chance I get. My BJJ brethren aren’t learning how to counter it and I usually don’t stick around in an academy long enough for them to find out how. That’s my game baby. Deal with it! I know a lot of people try to assert the wisdom that “One Day” you’ll meet your match. Someone is going to counter you and then take your lunch. I say until that “One Day” happens I will gladly keep on doing what works. This doesn’t mean that I won’t learn how to defend against certain techniques; just that I will use what works best for me. Chapter 12 - Blue Belt Heaven This is an ultimate lazy grappler move and even though I haven’t done this I have contemplated it before. I’m talking about going to Blue belt Heaven. This is when grapplers leave the art/sport of submission grappling and never come back. For many grapplers getting a Blue belt is very difficult. For some people it takes two years and in my case, where I moved around a lot, it took five. I started training in no-gi Brazilian Jiu-jitsu in 2004 and started training with a gi in 2008. Nine months after beginning gi training, in 2009, I was promoted to Blue belt. I had to go through the system even though I could tap blues out with no problem and I could give purple and certain brown belts fits. After a year and three months of being a Blue belt I moved again due to work and had to start out again as a newly minted Blue because I didn’t receive stripes
6. before I left, even with regular attendance. I know that I am not the only one who is frustrated with the BJJ promotion system. I also won’t lie to you and say that belt ranking doesn’t matter. It does. When I was a White belt with five years of grappling experience I would hate it when another White belt tried to tell me how to do something. It wasn’t an ego thing either because when I don’t know something I do not mind instruction from anyone, but we all know people who have the need to lead even when the best thing they could do is remain in a corner, be quiet and listen. As a consequence I have had to open a can of tap and run a clinic on quite a few super cocky newbies who thought they knew it all. I also think this why going to Blue belt Heaven is so popular. Even though I intend to grapple in my fifties and beyond I can understand grapplers who achieve a Blue belt or grapple a few years and then decide to quit. Honestly, they already have enough grappling skills to handle themselves in a self- defense situation that requires grappling. In a style of thought similar to Tito Ortiz, all it takes to hand someone a “beatin” is a takedown, positional dominance, a couple of blows and or a submission. If you haven’t learned how to do that before becoming a Blue belt or after a year or two of no-gi grappling then you never will. Additionally, if achieving higher than a Blue belt was required before becoming a professional fighter then we also would have very few MMA fighters. (Did I just go there?) Also, for those familiar with the grappling game you know that Purple belts are almost an oddity in our world. Brown and Black belts are even less familiar to our eyes. Yes, we may be aware of a few in our locale and then a host of others due to the Internet but try finding and abundance of qualified Purples, Browns and Black belts in smaller sized cities and one street towns. Grappling is a rough sport and some people don’t like the politics involved. I don’t want to go to Blue belt Heaven, but I understand. Dag! That was kind of sad. Chapter 13 - Being Scrong (Yes, I said Scrong) In grappling you will always hear instructors say don’t muscle your opponent, use skill and technique. You will always eventually face an opponent who is stronger than you. What will you do then? Or using strength is not true Jiu-jitsu; it is designed for the weaker man to defeat a larger, stronger opponent. Yes, all of this is true, but I’ve always argued that if a person shouldn’t be able to muscle a technique, then 135 pound guys shouldn’t be able to do cartwheels to your back, flexible guys and gals shouldn’t be allowed to work an inverted guard and in shape grapplers should be admonished not to go ‘full tilt’ during an entire roll. Listen, I am all for technique and I would rather use it than go ‘ox’ on a grappling buddy, but sometimes the temptation is too strong to avoid using strength on an innocent. When I first started BJJ and people would get me in side control I used to just sit up. I would literally sit up and the person would roll off my chest into my lap. Guys I would be grappling against would say things like, “Holy Shit!” or would just begin laughing. I was new and no one ever told me that I wasn’t being technical; it was just something I could do. Just like flexibility, speed and endurance has to be worked on in order to increase gains or maintain them, so does strength. A lot of grapplers say not to muscle techniques, but then why are so many grapplers into Crossfit, P90x and pumping iron every chance they get. Because, they want to be ‘scrong!’ You can’t complain about a guy muscling you but yet secretly want to bench press 300lbs and dead lift 500. How do you incorporate that kind of strength into smooth technique? No, people want that strength so they can go “Rikki Tikki Tavi” on a sucker. I argue that bench-pressing someone off of you is a skill. It takes years to build up and maintain certain levels of strength. My bench press is closer to 300 than 200 so I have been known to power a few guys off me in a pinch. Yes, it won’t work on everyone, but name me a technique that does. If it works on guys and gals up to 200 or so pounds (I’ll bench press a woman off of me too!) then that’s who I will use it on. Rooster weights don’t mind leapfrogging into guard and risking someone getting a bulged disk trying to hold them up and they don’t mind going for flying arm-bars and potentially crushing an eye socket with the back of their heel, so why get upset if I bench press you a time or too. We are grappling Baby! Use your strengths. Chapter 14 - Throwing Weight Around If you didn’t like my argument about using strength then I know you won’t like what I have to say about using weight. Listen, in grappling circles we like to use a lot of platitudes, most of which we don’t really mean. We like to say things such as: “I really don’t mind getting tapped out in practice, because I’m learning!” “I don’t care what belt rank I have, I can stay a white belt forever and a day! But I am a lazy grappler and I know better. Just recently, I was participating in an advanced class at my academy and we were reviewing half-guard techniques. (Now granted, at this point I had been grappling for over six years but I only pulled half-guard as a last alternative. Plus, I never tried to work technique from this position; I just used it as a stalling technique until I could recover full guard or reverse.) During the positional rolling where one person starts in the other person’s half-guard, I ‘got smashed’ by the first person I was paired with. The second person I was paired with was 135 pounds. I started off in his half-guard and had a thought. I realized that I didn’t feel like getting reversed so I went ‘dead hooker’ on him. I put all of my 200+ pounds on him and went limp. I knew that the only reason he didn’t get a chance to work a reverse is because I was smothering him. Since we started with him flat on his back he didn’t have space to work technique. I did this for the full five minutes. I know; I am evil. But, I view the use of weight in the same way that I view the use of Eddie Bravo like flexibility, rooster like speed used by Frankie Edgar or Urijah Faber, or the always coming at you style of a Cain Velasquez. I think the reason weight is not viewed as glamorous as some of these other styles of play is because it isn’t pretty. For the person experiencing it, the use of weight can be daunting. But as a lazy grappler I admire it and appreciate it. My first taste of someone using weight on me occurred in a Judo tournament. I was wrestling at 204 pounds so I was in the heavyweight category. I had a couple of wins under my belt so I was “feeling myself.” So in my third match I decided to go for a sacrifice throw. I pulled my 240-pound opponent in my direction and placed my foot in his hip to throw him over. The technique worked so well in class. Well anyway, my foot slipped and he fell right on top of me in mount. He grabbed onto me like he had fallen out of a roller coaster ride and I was the safety bar that was his last hope of living or being soup on the ground. For some reason his gi was wide open and my face was immersed in oils, sweat, hair and body fat. I was a relative newbie at the time so I didn’t know any escapes or that I could have just turned my head to the side to get some air. I just panicked. When I sucked in air my mouth acted as a suction cup to his stomach and as his belly skin touched my lips I tapped. That’s when I learned the true power of weight. As I have always been the smallest big guy wherever I have gone (6ft, 225 lbs) I always have to grapple with the Paul Bunyans at my academies. These are the guys who are 6ft 4 and always over 250lbs. When I trained in Georgia, I actually considered leaving grappling for good when I used to always have to grapple a guy nicknamed “Bumblebee.” He was 6’6 and told me he weighed 265. We all knew he was no less than 290. When starting on our knees he would give me a shove and I would fly backwards onto my back. He would quickly pass my guard by digging his elbows into my thighs, which is a move that everyone knows doesn’t work but is just irritating. However, because of his size and strength it felt like someone was shoving two baseball bats in my quadriceps (By the way, my legs didn’t fit all around him anyway). He would smash pass to side control and then we would lie there for five to ten minutes until he could latch on an Americana. His plan never altered and he always submitted me the same way. The pain on my chest was excruciating and when he covered my face and I could barely breathe I would start thinking I was in a bad prison flick and my character was named Victim 1 – Act: Rape Scene. I developed a case of claustrophobia and almost quit. But I suffered through it and learned how to cope. Now when grappling the big boys I don’t panic and can think my way out of tough positions. I recounted these events from my past to say that ‘light’ people need to get used to grappling with heavy guys and that heavy guys often have to roll with heavier guys. I have paid my dues and continue to pay them and I use my weight when I need to. To do otherwise would be to deny who I am. People like Gabe Gonzaga, Brock Lesnar and Roy “Big Country” Nelson don’t give anyone breaks then why should I. I worked hard to gain this weight; it would be
7. a shame not to use it. Chapter 15 - Superhero Tap I can still hear it now. I was grappling with Vick and a group of guys were discussing different submissions. One of the new guys brought up Submissions 101, which is a collective of a group of grapplers who create instructional videos that are mostly popular on YouTube. The new guy said, “Yeah, they teach a lot of weird techniques like the Knuckle Choke.” That’s when I heard, “Bakari, he’s really good with that!” Someone else agreed out loud. As they were saying it, I was sinking the Knuckle Choke on Vick! Just kidding about sinking the tap at the same time, but I am not kidding about them saying I was good at the Knuckle Choke. I actually learned the technique from watching a Submissions 101 video. I know a lot of Internet Gangsters like to ‘flame’ on them from the safety of their computers but after watching that video my tap percentage went up 100 percent. For a good while after that in my academy if I achieved the mount on some poor soul it was a done deal. Their goose was cooked. I tapped four people out the first night I learned it and for the first few weeks people were continuously asking me what I had done to them. One guy even jumped up after I tapped him and shouted to our instructor, “Is that legal?” As a lazy grappler I knew had found the lost ark of grappling. I had the tablet of Jiu-jitsu perfection and I read from it every chance I got. Everyone should have a Superhero Tap. It saves a lot of time and effort. Admittedly, after I knew that I could get the tap almost at will I eased off of using it. However, whenever I didn’t feel like playing around or if a new guy was acting like Black Beauty before he was tamed, I would sink in the Knuckle Choke to calm the situation down. A lot of famous grapplers have a Superhero Tap. Plenty of Lloyd Irvin’s protégés are known because of one specific move. J.T. Torres is known because of his ability to get to opponents’ backs and submit them. Ryan Hall (now of 50/Fifty fame) was also known for his ability to hit a triangle from an inverted guard. Roger Gracie is a master of the Superhero Tap with his front choke. Even though my Superhero Tap ability sort of fell into my hands I still believe everyone can develop one phenomenal talent on the mat. As a lazy grappler it is in my DNA to use something that comes easy often. Ultimately, not only has it upped my game but it has also increased my confidence on the mat. Chapter 16 - Punching Bags and Grappling Dummies I have already mentioned that my training preference would be to roll out of bed and have a BJJ instructor waiting in my living room with a glass of juice and a bowl of fruit. It is my way of saying that I love grappling but I prefer to subtract any hassle that takes place between my desire to learn and my ability to learn a technique or grapple on the mat. Sometimes my hesitance to wade through the hassle overpowers my desire to go to the gym but I am still left with the desire to train. This is where my punching bag and grappling dummy come to the rescue. I know me. There will be times that I will not under any circumstances want to leave my house. It could be after a hard day’s work or after a hard day of relaxing in my house. Training outside the home will have to wait. As a lazy grappler I know that the heavyweight punching bag and grappling dummy can keep my skills sharp. I played many sports growing up and I know that most of the time spent in getting better happened when I was alone. As a child I practiced dribbling and shooting for hours when other people didn’t want to play basketball. When I ran cross-country I jogged for miles around the army base where I lived, --- - alone. In my twenties as a tennis player, I hit on the wall, practiced serves and used a ball machine every day for years, especially since it was difficult to find people to play every day. If I didn’t I would have never improved. I don’t know why some people try to claim that the only way to get better in grappling is to grapple others. Or, that you must always have a qualified instructor before you improve. If these assertions were true then most of us would never improve. There would be too much space in between practices. With my heavy bag I practice positional drills and imagine performing all types of submissions. With my grappling dummy I work the kinks out of techniques that I try to apply in class but am never able to finish because of a resisting opponent. If it weren’t for my dummy I would never be able to fully practice some techniques. As a lazy grappler, who loves to grapple but is not always willing to go to class, I have learned that there are other legitimate training methods available to increase and maintain skill. Punching bags and grappling dummies have helped me enormously when my motivation has been at its lowest. Chapter 17 - Watching Video Tape As a lazy grappler I have spent more hours watching videos of people grapple than I have grappled. When you click on an obscure grappling tournament on YouTube and see that four people have watched the video, I was one of those four people. Some may believe that this is probably a waste of time after a certain point, but I would swear that a lot of my skill has been derived from watching video. It’s no different than watching someone in class. In the beginning of my BJJ career I used to watch my instructor, David Fermin, like a hawk and picked up most of my game from watching him roll with other people. I couldn’t learn much when grappling with him and others because I would be too busy fighting to survive. For instance he had this technique where he would force your right hand on the left side of your neck and then reach under your neck and grab your hand with his left hand. Then he would flip you over like a pancake onto your stomach. I only had to see it one time before adding it to my game. Oh, man! I have serious fun using that technique. I also learned the skydiving tap from him. You can do it when your opponent is on his stomach and has his arms folded underneath him. All you have to do is arch up keeping your stomach on your opponent’s back and your legs and arms off the ground. The pressure is enough to make most people tap. You could never learn that technique from experiencing it because you can’t see what your opponent is doing. My Judo instructor used to say I watched too much television because I used to always come into the dojo and perform flashy throws that weren’t taught in class. I don’t use the throws on my BJJ brethren because it just doesn’t feel right but because of video learning I have the techniques in a glass case ready to use in an emergency. Plus, as I evolve in my understanding of grappling sometimes I am often able to tweak my game just from watching higher-level grapplers; no sweat needed. I can just step onto the mat and my game has already changed for the better. If basketball, football, soccer, hockey and tennis players can improve by watching film why can’t a lazy grappler? Chapter 18 - Water Breaks Water is a precious commodity and its role in grappling should never be underestimated. By now you should know that the lazy grappler treats every part of his grappling environment as a variable to be manipulated. The goal is to enjoy the grappling experience without overexertion and feeling burned out. Hence, I use water as a tool to keep me not only refreshed but also as an excuse to regroup. During a show, comedians and performers keep a trusty water bottle or booze glass handy and take much-needed breaks by sipping or pretending to drink often between laughs. I do the same, except I gulp water down when I start to wheeze from rolling all over the mat. Similar to fixing my gi, when the grappling environment gets a little too intense I start looking for my water bottle. I usually need water most at the end of class when it is time to roll. There is no need to be a hero. To borrow from Chris Tucker, water is from the earth. It is meant for us to consume. I do not become a better person by denying myself a ‘taste’ and if it helps me to reduce my heart rate in the process; even better!
8. Here are a few tips to remember. Buy a big thermos. You can easily drink a small bottle of water during a grappling class, which means that you will have to ration your water consumption. This means you can’t spend as much time drinking. I have a huge water jug so I can drink as much as I like and spend more time recovering. Also, place your water bottle as far away as possible from the mats. This buys you a little more time to catch your breath as well. As a lazy grappler I have to use every trick in the book to stay in the game. Technically, my style of drinking water is a diversion but ultimately it is a healthy one. Chapter 19 - Right Place at the Right Time I know that I have joked and made light of grappling throughout this entire book, but this final piece of lazy grappling wisdom is probably the most important. I am talking about the importance of thoroughly researching academies in your area and knowing what you want out of grappling before you sign up to train. Grappling offers a number of benefits but if you aren’t careful you may hamstring your potential before you begin. My book, Grappling for Newbies, discusses a lot of what I am about to say (Do you like how I plugged my book?) but I will cover a little bit here. First, are you pursuing grappling as a tool for self-defense, a recreational pursuit or for a competitive sport? Grappling schools have different agendas and if you aren’t careful you may sign up for a school that doesn’t have your best interests in mind or offer what you really want. You may end up doing some ninja training. Second, do you really mean it when you say you want to learn grappling just for the sake of grappling or will you need tangible proof that you are improving in the form of belts and promotions? I firmly believe that most people who say it doesn’t matter are not being completely honest. If you started out wrestling Greco, Free-style or no-gi and have no intention of training with the gi, then fine. But if you are taking Sambo, BJJ or Judo and you are not being promoted you will have an issue with that. I read blogs every day and see people who started much later than I did and trained less, advance at a rate that is unfathomable to me. In my heart I know that I have forgotten more than they have ever learned. I am not saying this out of bitterness; I am saying this out of extreme bitterness. It is extremely important that you choose the right place for you at the beginning of your training. That way you can get the most out of your efforts and will not have to spend a lot of time running in the grappling hamster wheel. My wheel is being promoted, yours maybe learning self-defense or finding a school that teaches leg locks. It took me six years to get to an academy where all the elements for my advancement are in place but knowing that it is now up to me is making my journey as a lazy grappler that much better. Maybe one day I’ll see you on the mats! If I make it to class. Bakari Akil II, Ph.D. aka – Jiujitsu365 Chapter 20 - Final Words I hope you enjoyed reading this. Please leave me a review on Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, Smashwords or Apple’s iBookstore. If you liked this you’ll probably like my book, Grappling for Newbies. Even though I wrote it with new grapplers in mind it still talks about things veteran grapplers often think about but never share with each other. It also has comics! Also, don’t forget to check out what I’m up to on my blog, Jiujitsu365, and my Twitter page twitter.com/Jiujitsu365. Bakari Akil II, Ph.D. Other books by Bakari Akil II, Ph.D. Grappling for Newbies: What every new BJJ and Submission Grappler should know! A Vampire on the Mat M.U.S.C.L.E. – The Cheatin’ Security Guard Pop Psychology: The psychology of pop culture and everyday life! Super You! 101 Ways to Maximize your Potential!