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THE MAGE AND THE ONI
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Fernando Caire
July 04, 2022
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THE MAGE AND THEĀ ONI
A mage and an oni walk into a bar...
Fernando Caire
July 04, 2022
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Transcript
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Dialog *OFF SCREEN MONSTER NOISE*
Dialog *OFF SCREEN MONSTER NOISE*
Dialog *OFF SCREEN MONSTER NOISE*
Dialog *OFF SCREEN MONSTER NOISE*
Dialog Bailey: AHH!
Dialog Bailey: AHH!
Dialog Bailey: AHH!
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Dialog EYE:WHO GOES THERE!?
Dialog EYE:WHO GOES THERE!?
Dialog Bailey: EEK!
Dialog Bailey: EEK!
Dialog Bailey: EEK!
Dialog Bailey: EEK!
Dialog Bailey:-OH!
Dialog Bailey:-OH!
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Dialog Bailey: Uhh, yes I'm supposed to m--m--MEET! someone he--
Dialog Bailey: Uhh, yes I'm supposed to m--m--MEET! someone he--
Dialog Bailey: Uhh, yes I'm supposed to m--m--MEET! someone he--
Dialog Bailey: Uhh, yes I'm supposed to m--MEET! someone he--
Dialog EYE: WHAT'S THE PASSWORD!?
Dialog EYE: WHAT'S THE PASSWORD!?
Dialog Bailey: *Sigh* Can't believe....
Dialog Bailey: Mages suck goblin butts.
Dialog EYE: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Dialog EYE: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Dialog EYE: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Dialog EYE: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Dialog EYE: HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Dialog EYE: NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY!
Dialog EYE: NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY!
Dialog EYE: NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY!
Dialog EYE: NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY!
Dialog EYE: NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY!
Dialog EYE: NEVER STOPS BEING FUNNY!
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Dialog Bailey: Stupid door
Dialog Bailey: *Gasps*
Dialog Bailey: *Gasps*
Dialog Bailey: *Gasps*
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Dialog Bailey: Well...I suppose it's not that
Dialog Bailey: Well...I suppose it's not that
Dialog Bailey: Well...I suppose it's not that
Dialog Bailey: Well...I suppose it's not that
Dialog Bailey: Well...I suppose it's not that
Dialog Bailey: BAD!?
Dialog Bailey: BAD!?
Dialog Bailey: BAD!?
Dialog Bailey: BAD!?
Dialog Bailey: BAD!?
Dialog Bailey: BAD!?
Dialog Bailey: BAD!?
Dialog Bailey: BAD!?
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Dialog Bailey: O-Oni...
Dialog Bailey: Where's the Oni...
Dialog Bailey: Where's the Oni...
Dialog Bailey: Where's the Oni...Where's the Oni...Where's the Oni...
Dialog Bailey: Where's the Oni...Where's the Oni...Where's the Oni...
Dialog Oni: What part of "low profile" didn't you understand?
Dialog Oni: What part of "low profile" didn't you understand?
Dialog Oni: What part of "low profile" didn't you understand?
Dialog Oni: What part of "low profile" didn't you understand?
Dialog Oni: What part of "low profile" didn't you understand?
Dialog Oni: What part of "low profile" didn't you understand?
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Dialog Bailey: You chose a...uhh...lively place to meet
Dialog Bailey: You chose a...uhh...lively place to meet
Dialog Bailey: Soooo I don't suppose you were able to
get it?
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Dialog Greta: AHHHH!
Dialog Greta: Picked this joint because the drinks are cheap!
Dialog Greta: Picked this joint because the drinks are cheap!
Dialog Greta: Picked this joint cause the drinks are cheap!
Dialog Greta: As for your...item...Did you bring what I asked
for?
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Dialog Bailey: Yes but this was NOT easy to come
by
Dialog Bailey: In fact I had to... break the law
to get it!
Dialog Bailey: In fact I had to... break the law
to get it!
Dialog Bailey: In fact I had to... break the law
to get it!
Dialog Bailey: In fact I had to... break the law
to get it!
Dialog Bailey: In fact I had to... break the law
to get it!
Dialog Bailey: In fact I had to... break the law
to get it!
Dialog Greta: Heck yeah you go girl!
Dialog Greta: Heck yeah you go girl!
Dialog Bailey: I, what? No! It's very bad!
Dialog Bailey: BUT! If you just take the money I
originally offered then I can return it and everyth-
Dialog Greta: No trade no dice! We had a deal,
elfy.
Dialog Greta: No trade no dice! We had a deal,
elfy.
Dialog Greta: No trade no dice! We had a deal,
elfy.
Dialog Greta: No trade no dice! We had a deal,
elfy.
Dialog Greta: No trade no dice! We had a deal,
elfy.
Dialog Greta: No trade no dice! We had a deal,
elfy.
Dialog Bailey: But the Grand Magus!
Dialog Bailey: But the Grand Magus!
Dialog Bailey: Oh if the Grand Magus finds out she'll
never for-
Dialog Bailey: Oh if the Grand Magus finds out she'll
never for-
Dialog Greta: Will you keep the mage talk down do
you want someone to hear?!
Dialog Greta: Will you keep the mage talk down do
you want someone to hear?!
Dialog Greta: Will you keep the mage talk down do
you want someone to hear?!
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Dialog Greta: *sigh*
Dialog Greta: Not sure if you've noticed but mages aint
exactly popular with the locals
Dialog Greta: Not sure if you've noticed but mages aint
exactly popular with the locals
Dialog Greta: Not sure if you've noticed but mages aint
exactly popular with the locals
Dialog Greta: Not sure if you've noticed but mages aint
exactly popular with the locals
Dialog Greta: Not sure if you've noticed but mages aint
exactly popular with the locals
Dialog Greta: Not sure if you've noticed but mages aint
exactly popular with the locals
Dialog Greta: Not sure if you've noticed but mages aint
exactly popular with the locals
Dialog Greta: Not sure if you've noticed but mages aint
exactly popular with the locals
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Dialog *TOILET FLUSH SFX*
Dialog *TOILET FLUSH SFX*
Dialog *TOILET FLUSH SFX*
Dialog Greta: So it was pretty hard to get something
like this made, even down here!
Dialog Greta: So it was pretty hard to get something
like these made, even down here!
Dialog Greta: So it was pretty hard to get something
like this made, even down here!
Dialog Greta: But if you think you can get one
form someone else then by all means!
Dialog Greta: But if you think you can get one
form someone else then by all means!
Dialog Greta: But if you think you can get one
form someone else then by all means!
Dialog Bailey: FINE!
Dialog Bailey: FINE!
Dialog Bailey: FINE!
Dialog Bailey: FINE!
Dialog Bailey: FINE!
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Dialog Greta: Y--You actually got it?
Dialog Greta: Y--You actually got it?
Dialog Greta: Y--You actually got it?
Dialog Greta: Y--You actually got it?
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Dialog Bailey: Nuh-uh-uh! I want to see it first.
Dialog Bailey: Nuh-uh-uh! I want to see it first.
Dialog Bailey: Nuh-uh-uh! I want to see it first.
Dialog Bailey: Nuh-uh-uh! I want to see it first.
Dialog Bailey: Nuh-uh-uh! I want to see it first.
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Dialog Greta: Fine.
Dialog Greta: Fine.
Dialog Greta: The creepy geezer made short work of it.
Dialog Greta: The creepy geezer made short work of it.
Dialog Greta: The creepy geezer made short work of it.
Dialog Greta: The creepy geezer made short work of it.
Dialog Greta: Had to get the ingredients too. Weird stuff...
dangerous stuff.
Dialog Greta:Had to get the ingredients too. Weird stuff... dangerous
stuff.
Dialog Greta:Had to get the ingredients too. Weird stuff... dangerous
stuff.
Dialog Greta: More trouble than it's worth for a mage's
toy if you asked me
Dialog Greta: More trouble than it's worth for a mage's
toy if you asked me
Dialog Greta: More trouble than it's worth for a mage's
toy if you asked me
Dialog Greta: More trouble than it's worth for a mage's
toy if you asked me
Dialog Greta: More trouble than it's worth for a mage's
toy if you asked me
Dialog Greta: More trouble than it's worth for a mage's
toy if you asked me
Dialog Greta: More trouble than it's worth for a mage's
toy if you asked me
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Dialog Bailey: *GASP!*
Dialog Bailey: *GASP!*
Dialog Bailey:It-*sniff*-It's beautiful!
Dialog Bailey:It-*sniff*-It's beautiful!
Dialog Bailey:It-*sniff*-It's beautiful!
Dialog Bailey: Hey what's that in y--
Dialog Bailey: WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT!?
Dialog Bailey: WHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT!?
Dialog Greta: Sorry didn't see much point in waiting
Dialog Greta: Sorry didn't see much point in waiting
Dialog Greta: Sorry didn't see much point in waiting
Dialog Greta: Sorry didn't see much point in waiting
Dialog Greta: Sorry didn't see much point in waiting
Dialog Greta: Sorry didn't see much point in waiting
Dialog Greta: Sorry didn't see much point in waiting
Dialog Greta: Sorry didn't see much point in waiting
Dialog Greta: Sorry didn't see much point in waiting
Dialog Greta: Sorry didn't see much point in waiting
Dialog Greta: Sorry didn't see much point in waiting
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Dialog Bailey: I did some research on that coin. It's
practically worthless, why do you want it?
Dialog Bailey: I did some research on that coin. It's
practically worthless, why do you want it?
Dialog Greta: Oh ya know, maybe trade it for some
none-ya.
Dialog Greta: Oh ya know, maybe trade it for some
none-ya.
Dialog Greta: Oh ya know, maybe trade it for some
none-ya.
Dialog Bailey: What's none-y---OOOHHH I see what you were doing
there
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Dialog Greta: With that I believe our business is concluded...
Dialog Greta: Now go away.
Dialog Greta: Now go away.
Dialog Greta: Now go away.
Dialog Greta: Now go away.
Dialog Greta: Now go away.
Dialog Greta: Now go away.
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Dialog Greta: Oh what is it no--
Dialog Bailey: Thank you...for this. It means a great deal.
Dialog Greta: Yeah, well...
Dialog Greta: You should be thankful!
Dialog Greta: I almost got killed getting the griffin horn
for that thing ya know!
Dialog Greta: But it was no match for my stealth!
Dialog Greta: But it was no match for my stealth!
Dialog *BAILEY SLAMS HANDS DOWN ON TABLE*
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Dialog Greta: Oye! I wasn't done drinkin' that!?
Dialog Bailey: Gr--GRIFFIN HORN!? You killed a griffin to make
this!?
Dialog Bailey: What kind of barbarian do you think I
am!? A mage would NEVER...
Dialog Bailey: What kind of barbarian do you think I
am!? A mage would NEVER...
Dialog Bailey: What kind of barbarian do you think I
am!? A mage would NEVER...
Dialog Bailey: What kind of barbarian do you think I
am!? A mage would NEVER...
Dialog Bailey: What kind of barbarian do you think I
am!? A mage would NEVER...
Dialog Greta: NO...I didn't kill it. It sheds it's horns
every year...
Dialog Greta: NO...I didn't kill it. It sheds it's horns
every year...
Dialog Greta: NO...I didn't kill it. It sheds it's horns
every year...
Dialog Greta: Unfortunately you're not going to be as lucky.
Dialog Bailey: Huh?
Dialog Bailey: Huh?
Dialog Bailey: Oh...
Dialog Bailey: Oh...
Dialog Bailey: Oh...
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Dialog Bailey: Oh HEX...
Dialog Bailey: Oh HEX...
Dialog Greta: Well it's been fun, love! Slugging Greta:
Dialog Greta: Well it's been fun, love!
Dialog Greta: Well it's been fun, love!
Dialog Greta: but I have other appointments to keep!
Dialog Greta: but I have other appointments to keep!
Dialog Greta: but I have other appointments to keep!
Dialog Greta: Good luck with this and all!
Dialog Greta: Good luck with this and all!
Dialog Greta: Good luck with this and all!
Dialog Greta: Good luck with this and all!
Dialog Greta: UMPH!
Dialog Greta: UMPH!
Dialog Greta: UMPH!
Dialog Greta: UMPH!
Dialog Greta: UMPH!
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Dialog Greta: Bollocks, not again...
Dialog Greta: Bollocks, not again...
Dialog Greta: Bollocks, not again...
Dialog Greta: Bollocks, not again...
Dialog Greta: Bollocks, not again...
Dialog Greta: Bollocks, not again...
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Dialog Greta: Have any spells that can get us out
of this?
Dialog Greta: Have any spells that can get us out
of this?
Dialog Bailey: Spells?
Dialog Bailey: Oh! uhh...well you see the thing is...I'm kinda...self
taught...
Dialog Bailey: Oh! uhh...well you see the thing is...I'm kinda...self
taught...
Dialog Greta: Do you even know how to use that
thing!?
Dialog Bailey: Th--that thing?
Dialog Bailey: Th--that thing? Slugging :
Dialog Bailey: THAT THING!!!
Dialog Bailey: THAT THING!!!
Dialog Bailey: THAT THING!!!
Dialog Bailey: THAT THING!!!
Dialog Bailey: THAT THING!!!
Dialog Bailey: Well...guess now's as good a time for a
test run as any Slugging : Well..
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