Agile Sex - Agile Tour Toulouse 2020

Agile Sex - Agile Tour Toulouse 2020

A discussion about agile values and principles and a comparison between them and the implicit values of one's sex life. A tour of some common maturity models and how they affect and apply to agile and/or sex life models.



October 22, 2020


  1. 22/10/2020 Agile Sex All models are wrong but some are

    helpful and/or sexy Sam Cranford ~ @nostradamnit
  2. WARNING! This talk is NSFW, possibly NSFL and clearly in

    violation of the CoC (but it was accepted it so WTF!?) The law of the two feet is engaged
  3. Another WARNING! This talk is in BETA, at best. Please

    bear with me :)
  4. Why me? • Agile expert • Sex expert • Lots

    of experience in both fields • Read all of the sex advice articles in the womens’ magazines my mom and sister left laying around
  5. And it began It all started with a dream, and

    a mind map... and jet lag...
  6. What this is not about This is about sex lives

    not sex acts, so despite the NSFW warning, it actually shouldn’t be offensive to anyone (but that I surely can not guarantee) Its also about agility, the practice and its values and principals, compared to something very common – a sex life… Its also not about non-sex lives. Its not about me either :)
  7. Expert, really?! Dreyfus model of skills acquisition • Novice •

    Advanced Beginner • Competent • Proficient • Expert ← more than 10,000 hours of practice * * Dreyfus, Gladwell, et al. incorrectly ← I’m probably somewhere around here actually
  8. Parallels Agility • Based on some set of specific principals

    and values • Emphasis on collaboration, communication and satisfaction • Continuous improvement and optimal quality are the desired results Sex life • Based on some implied principals and values and common sense (which is uncommon) • Emphasis on collaboration, communication and satisfaction • Continuation and optimal desire are the quality results
  9. Other commonalities • Principals and values (explicit or implicit) •

    Mutual benefits and intimacy • Shared goals and benefits • Mutual preferences • Practices and regular practice • Growth and maturity But also • Confusion and misunderstandings • Fear, uncertainty and doubt • Prejudices and cleavage • Trendiness • Stagnation and routine
  10. Some obvious ones • Everybody present has one – a

    sex life or an agile one • Not everyone’s looks the same • They are still probably quite similar – Except when they’re not • Its complex...
  11. Maturity In psychology, maturity is the ability to respond to

    the environment being aware of the correct time and location to behave and knowing when to act, according to the circumstances and the culture of the society one lives in. There are plenty of maturity models, and discussion around the term maturity. Let’s look a some...
  12. Capability Maturity Model Integration

  13. Capability Immaturity Model

  14. Crosby → Curtis →Weinberg Models • Uncertainty • Awakening •

    Enlightenment • Wisdom • Certainty • Herded • Managed • Tailored • Institutionalized • Optimized • Oblivious • Variable • Routine • Steering • Anticipating • Congruent
  15. Weinberg’s model of process maturity He didn’t like to call

    it a maturity model, because normally one doesn’t unmature • Oblivious - “we don’t even know that we’re following a process” • Variable - “we do whatever we feel like” • Routine - “we follow the routine, except under pressure” • Steering - “we choose routines based on prior results” • Anticipating - “we establish routines based on prior experience” • Congruent - “everyone is involved in continuous improvement”
  16. Kegan’s Stages of Adult Development • Stage 1 — Impulsive

    mind (early childhood) • Stage 2 — Imperial mind (adolescence, 6% of adult population) • Stage 3 — Socialized mind (58% of the adult population) • Stage 4 — Self-Authoring mind (35% of the adult population) • Stage 5 — Self-Transforming mind (1% of the adult population)
  17. None
  18. Why all this talk of maturity Because the success or

    failure of a particular agile implementation, or someone’s sex life, probably has a whole lot to do with the maturity of the participants and their approach to the situation
  19. Values Some shared values are : • Collaboration • Satisfaction

    • Adaptation • Motivated participants • Mutual trust • Feedback Some hopefully shared values : • Inspection • Transparency • Excellence • Self-organization • Openness • Frequent deliveries
  20. None
  21. Scrum Values • Focus • Openness • Courage • Commitment

    • Respect • Simplicity • Communication • Feedback • Respect • Courage XP Values How can these values help build a more fulfilling sex life?
  22. Karma Sutra Probably one of the most well-known and most

    misunderstood book in the world. Not a sex manual, but a guide to the “art of living well”.
  23. Kama Sutra vs XP More like XP Explained than the

    Agile Manifesto, which presents the principles and value. XP Explained presents values and principles as well, but also lays out concrete practices.
  24. Kama Sutra (vedic) values four religious purposes of life: •

    dharma (ethical behavior, virtue and duty) • artha (acquisition of valuable things) • kama (sense gratification) • moksha (liberation from material identifications and attachments). It is said that human life starts with religion - the relationship that connects the individual with the rest of the universe – in other words, the meaning and purpose of human life.
  25. Dharma values • Truthfulness • Compassion • Cleanliness • Self

    control • Courage • Tolerance • Patience • application of intelligence • search for knowledge • detachment from anger • Truthfulness • Compassion • Cleanliness • Self control • Courage • Tolerance • Patience
  26. The respect and adherence to a set of values is

    a path to enlightenment and maturity Practice builds proficiency
  27. practice noun a : systematic exercise for proficiency // practice

    makes perfect b : the condition of being proficient through systematic exercise // get in practice practice verb a : : to perform or work at repeatedly so as to become proficient // practice the act
  28. Some practices that enhance sex life, and software development •

    Having clear objectives, intent - focus • All systems go – consensus • Safe and comfortable environment – physically and psychologically • Capacity to change one’s mind – adapt to change / revoke consent • Proper techniques, proficiency - mastery
  29. Continuous improvement Reflection and retrospection both help to improve any

    situation. It is a key value in agile practice, and should be used regularly to improve life in general, and sex life in particular
  30. Dysfunctions • Lack of consent • Selfishness • Sloppiness •

    Egotistical behavior
  31. Stress and pressure • Performance anxiety • Immediate gratification •

    Impatience • Anticipation • Not in the mood • Pressure to perform
  32. Preferences This is where the differences are really felt :)

    • TDD – create a hypothesis of the change and how it will improve the situation and test it – scheduled dates? • Pair-programming – do it together – pretty much a given • Mob-programming – do it all together, all at once – orgy! • YAGNI* – keep it simple – do the simplest thing that could possibly work *You ain’t gonna need it
  33. Myths Agile • 10x programmer • Hyper productivity • Future

    prediction • Prior effort Sex • Abnormally large organs • Size matters • Thought prediction • Prior effect
  34. Goals Agility Customer satisfaction Deliver frequently Continuous improvement Working software

    Sustainable pace Motivating environment Sex life Couple satisfaction Deliver frequently Continuous growth Working relationship Sustainable life Motivating relationship
  35. Can our agile models translate to our sex lives? What

    can be translated / transferred?
  36. None
  37. Modern Agile is a community for people interested in uncovering

    better ways of getting awesome results. It leverages wisdom from many industries, is principle driven and framework free. Joshua Kerievsky, CEO, Industrial Logic
  38. The Heart of Agile is a radically simpler approach to

    achieve outstanding outcomes. The four words help us to focus our energies on critical actions. At the same time, this simplification opens the door to many new and interesting ways of implementing each one of them. Produce Better Results. Together.
  39. None
  40. Wabi-Sabi - 侘寂 Noun Japanese A way of living that

    focuses on finding beauty within in imperfections of life and accepting peacefully the natural cycle of growth and decay. Nothing is permanent, nothing is terminated, perfection doesn’t exist.
  41. Bibliography Certain books that inspired this presentation The writings of

    Gerald Weinberg The writings of Patrick Lencioni And so many others !
  42. Thanks!

  43. Legalese (lēˌgə-lēzˈ, -lēsˈ) This presentation is licensed under the following

    licenses – Beerware – WTFPL No rights reserved and no animals or living things were injured in the creation of this presentation
  44. Credits n’ stuff Images • Law of two feet - • Teamwork - • Cynefin - • Agile Manifesto - • Kama Sutra - • Pragmatic Thinking & Learning mind map - • Various works of Patrick Lencioni • Stress curve - • Modern Agile - • Heart of Agile - • And some useless shit off the Internets