Technical operations is plagued with an unhealthy infatuation of typically untested, imperative code with a high reliance on shared mutable state using dynamically typed languages such as Ruby, Python, Bash, and - ugh - remember Perl? :) In an age where building reliable infrastructure to elastically scale applications and services are paramount to business success, we need to start rethinking the infrastructure engineer’s toolkit and guiding principles. This talk will take a look at applying various functional techniques to building and automating infrastructure. From functional package management and congruent configuration to declarative cloud provisioning we’ll see just how practical these techniques typically used in functional programming for applications can be used to help build more robust and predictable infrastructures. While specific code examples will be given, the emphasis of the talk will be on guiding principles and functional design.