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Archer 707 Storyboards

Taylor Parrish
November 15, 2015
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Archer 707 Storyboards

Taylor Parrish

November 15, 2015
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Transcript

  1. Dialog Malory (O.S.) Now remember Carol, the key here, as

    with most things, is confidence.

  2. Dialog Malory (O.S.) Now remember Carol, the key here, as

    with most things, is confidence.

  3. Dialog LANA Which Pam's got by the shitload.

  4. None
  5. None

  6. Dialog MALORY (sigh) For reasons known but to God...

  7. Dialog MALORY (sigh) For reasons known but to God...

  8. Dialog PAM Well, a lot of it's the Brazilian. They

    really make you feel sexy!

  9. Dialog PAM Well, a lot of it's the Brazilian. They

    really make you feel sexy!

  10. Dialog PAM Well, a lot of it's the Brazilian. They

    really make you feel sexy!

  11. Dialog PAM Well, a lot of it's the Brazilian. They

    really make you feel sexy!

  12. Dialog PAM Well, a lot of it's the Brazilian. They

    really make you feel sexy!

  13. Dialog PAM Well, a lot of it's the Brazilian. They

    really make you feel sexy!

  14. Dialog PAM Well, a lot of it's the Brazilian. They

    really make you feel sexy!

  15. Dialog PAM At least until the ingrown hairs turn it

    back into Bumplestiltskin.

  16. Dialog PAM At least until the ingrown hairs turn it

    back into Bumplestiltskin.

  17. Dialog LANA Ugh!

  18. Dialog MALORY I want to double the bet!

  19. Dialog MALORY I want to double the bet!

  20. None

  21. Dialog LANA Deal!

  22. None
  23. None
  24. None

  25. Dialog MALORY Damn.

  26. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL Just damn?

  27. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL Just damn?

  28. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL Or daaaaaaaaaaamn!

  29. Dialog MALORY (slugs champagne) Whichever is worse.

  30. Dialog MALORY (slugs champagne) Whichever is worse.

  31. Dialog GILLETTE Daaaamn, Cyril!

  32. Dialog GILLETTE Daaaamn, Cyril!

  33. Dialog GILLETTE Daaaamn, Cyril!

  34. Dialog CYRIL Really?

  35. Dialog CYRIL Really?

  36. Dialog CYRIL Really?

  37. Dialog CYRIL Really?

  38. None

  39. Dialog CYRIL You don't think it's too much?

  40. None

  41. Dialog GILLETTE I -- ya know, I think it would

    be.

  42. Dialog GILLETTE I -- ya know, I think it would

    be.
  43. None

  44. Dialog GILLETTE I wanna double the bet.

  45. Dialog ARCHER No.

  46. Dialog GILLETTE Give ya five to two odds.

  47. Dialog ARCHER No! Krieger, get out here!

  48. None

  49. Dialog ARCHER Goddammit.

  50. Dialog GILLETTE Five to one!

  51. None
  52. None
  53. None

  54. Dialog KRIEGER Dude, take it! I feel amazing!

  55. Dialog KRIEGER Dude, take it! I feel amazing!

  56. Dialog GILLETTE (to Archer) And confidence is the key...

  57. Dialog KRIEGER And Thoreau was a [BEEP] idiot.

  58. None
  59. None

  60. Dialog ARCHER [long, tired exhalation]

  61. Dialog ARCHER [long, tired exhalation]

  62. Dialog ARCHER [long, tired exhalation]

  63. Dialog MALORY (O.S.) Now Lana dear, listen, about all this

    doubling the bet nonsense...

  64. Dialog LANA What're you, trying to welsh on me?

  65. Dialog MALORY Wh-? Well now who's a racist?!

  66. Dialog MALORY Wh-? Well now who's a racist?!

  67. Dialog LANA That's not racist!

  68. Dialog MALORY It is if you're black!

  69. Dialog LANA There are black Welsh people!

  70. Dialog MALORY Name one!

  71. Dialog LANA Shirley Bassey!

  72. Dialog MALORY (thinks) Name twenty more!

  73. Dialog MALORY (thinks) Name twenty more!

  74. Dialog LANA No. The bet stands.

  75. Dialog MALORY (turns, gasps) And that is just fine with

    us!
  76. None
  77. None

  78. Dialog LANA Daaaaaamn...

  79. Dialog LANA Daaaaaamn...

  80. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL I know, I look like a whore.

  81. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL I know, I look like a whore.

  82. Dialog MALORY As a matter of fact...

  83. None

  84. Dialog MALORY (O.S.) I'm willing to double it again.

  85. Dialog LANA Ummmmmm...

  86. Dialog PAM (stage whisper) Pssst, Lana! C'mere!

  87. Dialog PAM (stage whisper) Pssst, Lana! C'mere!

  88. Dialog PAM (stage whisper) Pssst, Lana! C'mere!

  89. Dialog PAM (stage whisper) Pssst, Lana! C'mere!

  90. Dialog PAM (stage whisper) Pssst, Lana! C'mere!

  91. Dialog PAM C'mere c'mere c'mere c'mere c'mere!

  92. Dialog PAM C'mere c'mere c'mere c'mere c'mere!

  93. Dialog PAM Take the bet, double it!

  94. Dialog LANA (looks behind them)

  95. Dialog LANA Is this mirror not working, or...?

  96. Dialog PAM Don't be shitty! I'm in progress! (looks around)

    And plus, Jerkleton, I've got this...

  97. Dialog PAM Don't be shitty! I'm in progress! (looks around)

    And plus, Jerkleton, I've got this...

  98. Dialog PAM Don't be shitty! I'm in progress! (looks around)

    And plus, Jerkleton, I've got this...

  99. Dialog PAM Don't be shitty! I'm in progress! (looks around)

    And plus, Jerkleton, I've got this...

  100. Dialog PAM Don't be shitty! I'm in progress! (looks around)

    And plus, Jerkleton, I've got this...

  101. Dialog LANA (weary sigh) Spanish Fly.

  102. Dialog PAM Right?!

  103. Dialog LANA Pam, that shit doesn't work.

  104. Dialog PAM Yes it does!

  105. Dialog PAM Yes it does!

  106. Dialog PAM We just need to mix it with some

    mole's blood!

  107. Dialog PAM We just need to mix it with some

    mole's blood!

  108. Dialog PAM We just need to mix it with some

    mole's blood!

  109. Dialog LANA (to Malory) So wait, what were you saying

    about undoubling the bet?

  110. Dialog LANA (to Malory) So wait, what were you saying

    about undoubling the bet?

  111. Dialog MALORY Not a word...

  112. None

  113. Dialog ARCHER I'm serious Ray, I'm about to punch you

    in the face with your own fists.

  114. Dialog ARCHER I'm serious Ray, I'm about to punch you

    in the face with your own fists.

  115. Dialog GILLETTE (O.S) First of all, you are a mean

    drunk on germicide.

  116. Dialog ARCHER It's blue Curacao, you dumb idiot. Guiseppe keeps

    it in back for me.

  117. Dialog ARCHER It's blue Curacao, you dumb idiot. Guiseppe keeps

    it in back for me.

  118. Dialog ARCHER It's blue Curacao, you dumb idiot. Guiseppe keeps

    it in back for me.

  119. Dialog GILLETTE Well then you're a mean drunk on blue

    Curacao.

  120. Dialog ARCHER (chuckling) I know. I'm actually banned for life

    from Willemstad.

  121. Dialog GILLETTE Well, their loss. Now c'mon, put your money

    your fat blue mouth is.

  122. Dialog ARCHER No! We're not doubling the bet!

  123. Dialog GILLETTE Aw, don't ya have faith in your man?

  124. Dialog KRIEGER (O.S) (karate noises) Shoo, shoo, shoo!

  125. Dialog KRIEGER (O.S) (karate noises) Shoo, shoo, shoo!

  126. Dialog KRIEGER (O.S) (karate noises) Shoo, shoo, shoo!

  127. Dialog KRIEGER Shoo, shoo, shoo!

  128. Dialog KRIEGER Shoo, shoo, shoo!

  129. Dialog KRIEGER Shoo, shoo, shoo!

  130. Dialog KRIEGER Shoo, shoo, shoo!

  131. Dialog ARCHER Krieger!

  132. None
  133. None

  134. Dialog ARCHER I do not, no.

  135. Dialog GILLETTE Well, I got faith in mine...

  136. Dialog GILLETTE Cause he is lookin' muy Rico Suave.

  137. None

  138. Dialog CYRIL Thanks, Ray.

  139. Dialog ARCHER Pff. More like Rico...not Suave.

  140. Dialog ARCHER Pff. More like Rico...not Suave.

  141. Dialog GILLETTE He said, like a drunk jealous bitch.

  142. Dialog ARCHER I'm not drunk!

  143. Dialog ARCHER Wait, I am drunk...

  144. Dialog GILLETTE Cyril, need any last minute pointers?

  145. Dialog GILLETTE Cyril, need any last minute pointers?

  146. Dialog GILLETTE Cyril, need any last minute pointers?

  147. Dialog ARCHER (laughing) From you?

  148. Dialog GILLETTE The quarry may change but never the hunt!

  149. Dialog CYRIL Hmmm, let's see... oh, here's one, when do

    I start "neggin" her?

  150. Dialog CYRIL Hmmm, let's see... oh, here's one, when do

    I start "neggin" her?

  151. Dialog ARCHER Negging?! Jesus Christ, what grade are you in?

    Why don't you try putting some Spanish Fly in her Brass Monkey?

  152. Dialog ARCHER Negging?! Jesus Christ, what grade are you in?

    Why don't you try putting some Spanish Fly in her Brass Monkey?

  153. Dialog CYRIL I thought you mixed it with mole's blood...

  154. Dialog ARCHER What're you--

  155. Dialog ARCHER Where the hell would you get mole's blood?!

  156. Dialog ARCHER Where the hell would you get mole's blood?!

  157. Dialog ARCHER Where the hell would you get mole's blood?!

  158. Dialog KRIEGER Why, you need some?

  159. Dialog ARCHER I need you to get your big, bushy

    Bob Ross-ian head out of your ass, because we've got a bet to win!

  160. Dialog ARCHER I need you to get your big, bushy

    Bob Ross-ian head out of your ass, because we've got a bet to win!

  161. Dialog ARCHER I need you to get your big, bushy

    Bob Ross-ian head out of your ass, because we've got a bet to win!

  162. Dialog ARCHER (to barber, re: drink) And also Guiseppe, I'm

    pretty sure this is actually germicide, so...

  163. Dialog ARCHER (to barber, re: drink) And also Guiseppe, I'm

    pretty sure this is actually germicide, so...

  164. Dialog EVERYBODY [surprised/worried reactions to this]

  165. Dialog EVERYBODY [surprised/worried reactions to this]

  166. Dialog ARCHER Yeah, that's not great. Although, silver lining... bet

    I could eat a whole big bowl of germs right now.

  167. Dialog ARCHER Yeah, that's not great. Although, silver lining... bet

    I could eat a whole big bowl of germs right now.

  168. Dialog ARCHER (burps) Okay, let's go seduce this broad.

  169. Dialog ARCHER (burps) Okay, let's go seduce this broad.

  170. Dialog PAM Okay, let's go put some stank on it!

  171. Dialog PAM Okay, let's go put some stank on it!

  172. None
  173. None
  174. None
  175. None
  176. None
  177. None
  178. None
  179. None

  180. Dialog MALORY (sigh) Yes, I suppose this is as attractive

    as these two are ever going to be.

  181. Dialog MALORY (sigh) Yes, I suppose this is as attractive

    as these two are ever going to be.

  182. Dialog PAM Unless we can find some mole's blood.

  183. Dialog LANA No.

  184. None

  185. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL I have some.

  186. Dialog LANA No!

  187. Dialog CHERYL/CAROL (reads label) Oh, wait. This is vole's blood.

  188. Dialog MALORY (annoyed sigh) I swear to God, you people.

    Taxiiiii!

  189. Dialog MALORY (annoyed sigh) I swear to God, you people.

    Taxiiiii!
  190. None
  191. None
  192. None
  193. None
  194. None