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The Secret
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Your Podcast. Everywhere. Effortlessly.
Share. Educate. Inspire. Entertain. You do you. We'll handle the rest.
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Tessa Abrams
January 16, 2022
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The Secret
A loving father tries to keep his unemployment a secret from his wife and daughter.
Tessa Abrams
January 16, 2022
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Transcript
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TEXT: [ ] ...We regret to inform you that your
application has been denied. We hope you...[ ]
TEXT: [ ] ...Thank you so much for your application...[
]...We are not offering you the position at this time...[ ]
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DAVID: *sigh*
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*groans*
*groans*
*groans*
DAVID (defeated): What the hell am I going to do?
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DAVID (muttering to himself): Maybe I could--No, no. What if
I--?
DAVID (muttering to himself): Maybe I could--No, no. What if
I--?
DAVID (muttering to himself): Maybe I could--No, no. What if
I--?
DAVID (muttering to himself): Maybe I could--No, no. What if
I--?
DAVID (muttering to himself): Maybe I could--No, no. What if
I--?
DAVID (muttering to himself): Maybe I could--No, no. What if
I--?
DAVID (muttering to himself): Maybe I could--No, no. What if
I--?
BOO!
ELLE: Hi, Daddy! Did I scare ya--?
DAVID: ELLE! I didn’t hear you come in!
How was school today?
How was school today?
How was school today?
ELLE: AWE--SOME!
There was a race during recess and I beat alllll
the boys, even though I’M the shortest--!
DAVID: Ha ha, that’s great, sweetie.
DAVID: Ha ha, that’s great, sweetie.
DAVID: Ha ha, that’s great, sweetie.
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ELLE (very confident): Yeah, I know.
So how was YOUR day at work? Did you do
anything cool?
ELLE (OS): So how was YOUR day at work? Did
you do anything cool?
ELLE (OS): So how was YOUR day at work? Did
you do anything cool?
DAVID: *COUGH COUGH COUGH*
DAVID (nervous): HAHA! WELL--
DAVID (nervous, very quickly) (OS): Nothing special, just regular boring
adult things haha! Suuuuper boring and plain and very busy and--
DAVID (nervous, very quickly) (OS): Nothing special, just regular boring
adult things haha! Suuuuper boring and plain and very busy and--
DAVID (nervous, very quickly) (OS): Nothing special, just regular boring
adult things haha! Suuuuper boring and plain and very busy and--
DAVID (nervous, very quickly) (OS): Nothing special, just regular boring
adult things haha! Suuuuper boring and plain and very busy and--
DAVID (nervous, very quickly) (OS): Nothing special, just regular boring
adult things haha! Suuuuper boring and plain and very busy and--
DAVID (nervous, very quickly) (OS): Nothing special, just regular boring
adult things haha! Suuuuper boring and plain and very busy and--
ELLE (shouting): HEY WAZZAT’?
ELLE (shouting): HEY WAZZAT’?
ELLE (shouting): HEY WAZZAT’?
DAVID (nervous): HAHA, UH--
--HUH?
--HUH?
--HUH?
--OH!
That’s just some boring adult stuff.
That’s just some boring adult stuff.
That’s just some boring adult stuff.
Nothing you need to worry about.
Nothing you need to worry about.
Nothing you need to worry about.
Nothing you need to worry about.
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SO--!
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Wanna play a game?
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ELLE: *GASP*
ELLE: *SQUEEEEAL*
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ELLE: *giggling excessively*
ELLE: *giggling excessively*
ELLE: *giggling excessively*
DAVID: ROOOOOAR--!! ELLE: AAAAAH--!!
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ELLE: YOU’LL NEVER EAT ME ALIVE, PAPA REX!
DAVID: ROOOOOAR--!! ELLE: AAAAAH--!!
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CAIT (exhausted): sigh
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SFX: crack
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ELLE: HI, MOMMY!
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DAVID: Welcome home, honey. MWAH~
CAIT: And what game are we playing THIS time?
DAVID: Dinosaurs, again!
DAVID: ROOOOOAR--!! ELLE: AAAAAH--!!
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CAIT: Alright then.
Mommy Raptor is coming, too.
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PARENTS (OS): Oh, Ellle~ Where did you go?
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PARENTS (OS): Did she sneak into here? ELLE: *giggling*
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MOM: Come out, come out, where ever you are!
MOM: Come out, come out, where ever you are!
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MOM: RAAAAH--
--Oh.
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Hmmm.
I wonder where our little snack is hiding?
DAVID: Dunno’. Guess we will just have to search the
whole room for her!
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CAIT: Hey, hon’?
DAVID: Yup’?
CAIT: I’ve been meaning to ask, but have you had
a chance to ask your boss about a promotion yet?
CAIT: I’ve been meaning to ask, but have you had
a chance to ask your boss about a promotion yet?
SFX: BANG
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DAVID (panicked): Er, uuhh---
DAVID (panicked): Yeeeaaaahhhh--
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(nervous, lying) It went SUPER well, and absolutely nothing went
wrong at all so we have nothing to worry--
(nervous, lying) It went SUPER well, and absolutely nothing went
wrong at all so we have nothing to worry--
(nervous, lying) It went SUPER well, and absolutely nothing went
wrong at all so we have nothing to worry--
CAIT (relieved): That’s...that’s good.
Because I...
MIIIIIIIIGHT
have some news of my own.
have some news of my own.
have some news of my own.
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DAVID: wh...?
DAVID: wh...?
DAVID: wh...?
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(softly) ..you mean..?
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CAIT: WOAA--
CAIT: WOAA--
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CAIT: *laughing*
DAVID (pure glee): *laughing*
DAVID (pure glee): *laughing*
PARENTS: *both laughing giddly*
PARENTS: *both laughing giddly*
PARENTS: *both laughing giddly*
PARENTS: *both laughing giddly*
*laughter slows*
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DAVID (out of breath, ecstatic): That’s--INCREDIBLE.
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DAVID: When did you find out? How are you feeling??
Do you need anything? I can--
CAIT (chuckling): I’m FINE, hon’. I’m only a few weeks
along.
Honestly, I’m just relieved about your promotion. Money is gonna
get tight with an extra mouth in a few months.
(OS) Honestly, I’m just relieved about your promotion. Money is
gonna get tight with an extra mouth in a few months.
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DAVID (strained): Cait, I...there’s something I need to tell you.
DAVID (strained): Cait, I...there’s something I need to tell you.
DAVID (strained): Cait, I...there’s something I need to tell you.
DAVID (strained): Cait, I...there’s something I need to tell you.
DAVID: It’s about my promotion...
DAVID: It’s about my promotion...
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ELLE: HRK--!
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CAIT: GOTCHA!
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Just in time, too!
Mommy was getting HUNGRY.
SFX: *blows raspberries* ELLE: EEEEEHEHEHE---
ELLE and CAIT (OS): *giggling*
ELLE and CAIT (OS): *giggling*
ELLE and CAIT (OS): *giggling*
ELLE and CAIT (OS): *giggling*
ELLE and CAIT (OS): *giggling*
DAVID: AAH! So you found our little snack!
CAIT: Oh yes, she’s quite tasty.
DAVID: Oh is she?
DAVID: Guess I’ll just have to have a bite myself!
ELLE: *giggling*
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DAVID: Aaand--
--UP WE GO! ELLE: WEEEEEE
--UP WE GO! ELLE: WEEEEEE
--UP WE GO! ELLE: WEEEEEE
CAIT: Hey, be careful--!
CAIT: Hey, be careful--!
CAIT: Hey, be careful--!
(OS) *distant giggling*
(OS) *distant giggling*
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CAIT (to herself): Wh--?
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DAVID and ELLE: *still giggling*
DAVID and ELLE: *still giggling*
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DAVID: *mwah mwah mwah* ELLE: HAHA DAD, STOP--!
DAVID: You are going to be
the BEST big sister, ever.
ELLE (confused): Ha ha, what..?
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