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Seven Lessons in Personal Marketing I Learned From Pickup Artists

Alan Stevens
April 24, 2012
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Seven Lessons in Personal Marketing I Learned From Pickup Artists

A few years ago, I stumbled on a mention of something called the seduction community in a talk by Merlin Mann (http://bit.ly/euAAJD). After a few Google searches, I found the book The Game by Neil Strauss and read it. The book tells the story of how Strauss, a writer, became involved in the seduction community and what he learned there. What he found was a bunch of nerds that used a left brain approach to courtship and in the process uncovered a series of repeatable approaches to social dynamics based on a rich set of principles of human behavior and motivation.

I quickly saw the applicability of these routines and principles beyond the realm of attracting a mate. I’ve studied the books and recordings of the professional instructors of this material and now I want to share what I found to be of greatest value. I applied these principles to my professional networking activities with pleasant success and look forward to sharing these ideas with you.

Alan Stevens

April 24, 2012
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Transcript

  1. Seven Lessons in Personal
    Marketing I Learned From
    Pickup Artists
    Alan Stevens

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  2. Contact Me
    Email/IM: [email protected]
    Website: http://halanstevens.com
    Twitter: @alanstevens

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  3. “All sales is nothing
    more than making
    friends.”
    Shane Pearlman

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  4. “Men are just ugly
    women you don’t
    want to sleep with.”
    Mystery

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  5. 1. It’s OK to talk to strangers
    2.Lean Back
    3.Prepare your mental frame
    4.Provide Value
    5.Talk to groups
    6.Get warmed up
    7.Have a plan

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  6. Who are these
    Pickup Artists?

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  7. Source:
    mysterypua.net
    Mystery

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  8. Source: doubleyourdating.com
    David DeAngelo
    (Eben Pagan)

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  9. Source: myspace.com/neilstrauss
    Neil Strauss

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  10. Source: rsdnation.com
    Tyler Durden

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  11. Source: artofattraction.com
    Lance

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  12. 1. It’s OK to talk to strangers
    2.Lean Back
    3.Prepare your mental frame
    4.Provide Value
    5.Talk to groups
    6.Get warmed up
    7.Have a plan

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  13. “Nature has not designed
    you for the world in
    which you now live.”
    Mystery

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  14. Beware of Your
    Lizard Brain
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/aknock/4511438903/

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  15. Karl Rohnke’s CSP Model
    Comfort Zone
    Stretch Zone
    Panic Zone

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  16. “Confidence is not the
    goal. Competence is.”
    Mystery

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  17. “We miss 100%
    of the shots we
    don’t take.”
    Wayne Gretsky

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  18. “They
    can’t
    eat
    you.”
    Bob Parsons
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/darwinbell/536974319/

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  19. 1. It’s OK to talk to strangers
    2.Lean Back
    3.Prepare your mental frame
    4.Provide Value
    5.Talk to groups
    6.Get warmed up
    7.Have a plan

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  20. http://www.flickr.com/photos/my-misc-pics/5157196374/

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  21. http://www.flickr.com/photos/sfllaw/639442917/

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  22. http://www.flickr.com/photos/icandyartstudio/800171450/

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  23. “Your primary goal must
    be your own enjoyment.”
    Jeanne Martinet

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  24. 1. It’s OK to talk to strangers
    2.Lean Back
    3.Prepare your mental frame
    4.Provide Value
    5.Talk to groups
    6.Get warmed up
    7.Have a plan

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  25. Frames
    13 year olds
    Bette Davis
    Kid Sister
    Underwear
    The Host
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/trojanguy/3259035554/

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  26. http://www.flickr.com/photos/dougcoulter/3839242262/

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  27. http://www.flickr.com/photos/lordcuauhtli/2180205334/

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  28. http://www.flickr.com/photos/90982314@N00/4693959409/

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  29. “Your purpose in any
    mingling situation is
    to have fun.”
    Jeanne Martinet

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  30. 1. It’s OK to talk to strangers
    2.Lean Back
    3.Prepare your mental frame
    4.Provide Value
    5.Talk to groups
    6.Get warmed up
    7.Have a plan

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  31. “Enter a set at the same or
    slightly higher energy as the
    people in the group.”
    Neil Strauss

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  32. Reach people at an
    emotional level.

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  33. Seek rapport not approval.

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  34. Give people insight into
    themselves.

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  35. 1. It’s OK to talk to strangers
    2.Lean Back
    3.Prepare your mental frame
    4.Provide Value
    5.Talk to groups
    6.Get warmed up
    7.Have a plan

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  36. Talking is the only
    means you have of
    conveying your
    personality.

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  37. Speak slowly, with pauses
    and enthusiasm.

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  38. Consider
    Joining
    Toastmasters
    http://www.toastmasters.org/

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  39. 1. It’s OK to talk to strangers
    2.Lean Back
    3.Prepare your mental frame
    4.Provide Value
    5.Talk to groups
    6.Get warmed up
    7.Have a plan

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  40. http://www.flickr.com/photos/avlxyz/2435646997/

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  41. “Practice your mingling on
    the socially challenged.”
    Jeanne Martinet

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  42. “Get into a talkative
    mood and practice
    talking to everyone.”
    Mystery

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  43. 1. It’s OK to talk to strangers
    2.Lean Back
    3.Prepare your mental frame
    4.Provide Value
    5.Talk to groups
    6.Get warmed up
    7.Have a plan

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  44. Avatar
    Story
    Background

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  45. Be yourself but be
    your best self.

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  47. Story Topics
    • Did something fun with a girl
    • Did something you weren’t supposed to and got away with it
    • Had something funny/scary/exciting happen on a trip
    • Took charge of a situation
    • Stood up to someone for someone else
    • Organized something exciting
    • Had someone’s back
    • Got out of an awkward situation
    • Did something nice for someone
    • Did something spontaneous
    • Accomplished something you are proud of
    • Saw something funny/scary/exciting
    Source: venusianarts.com

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  48. Source: doubleyoursalesnow.com

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  49. http://www.flickr.com/photos/hermes-/2037061305/

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  50. WARNING

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  51. http://www.flickr.com/photos/hubmedia/2141860216/

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  52. Resources

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  57. Game On
    http://www.gameondvd.com/

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  58. http://www.flickr.com/photos/sred/433674856/

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  59. “Networking is
    doing favors for
    other people”
    Merlin Mann

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  60. Thanks For Listening!
    Email/IM: [email protected]
    Website: http://halanstevens.com
    Twitter: @alanstevens

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