Lead Dev Berlin '25: Journeys in diversity – what difference really means

(This talk was delivered on Tue 4th Nov 2025 at Lead Dev Berlin)

What does it really mean to support people who are different and create an inclusive working environment for all neurotypes? Learn the difference between lip service and real diversity.

This talk is about the difference between paying superficial support to diversity and inclusion, versus truly understanding how different colleagues, team members, and employees have varying challenges and needs. From the small, everyday details to the bigger picture, this talk includes practical ideas and examples of how your behaviour and the support you offer can have a major impact on whether you and those around you are able to thrive.

Clare draws on years of experience supporting people with a wide range of needs as a mentor, tutor, interviewer, and line manager. She also shares her own perspective as a middle-aged autistic woman with ADHD navigating menopause. Through personal stories, she highlights the challenges she has faced and what has made a real difference.

Small actions can have a big impact.

This is a grounded and honest look at what it really means to be different, with practical advice and insights on how greater awareness can lead to meaningful change.

Key takeaways
- How to identify the needs and strengths of all your team members
- How to create a supportive working environment for people with differing needs
- What neurodivergence means
- The strengths of neurodivergent team members

Transcript

1. Journeys in Diversity What difference really means @ClareSudbery
2. TRIGGER WARNING I will be describing - and showing - scenes of distress
3. "What I wish I could tell my boss: ‘My autism is not a problem’"
4. “Cutely eccentric” or “The one with the developmental disability”?
5. “Cutely eccentric” or “The one with the developmental disability”?
6. “Cutely eccentric” or “The one with the developmental disability”?
7. “Cutely eccentric” or “The one with the developmental disability”?
8. “Cutely eccentric” or “The one with the developmental disability”?
9. “Cutely eccentric” or “The one with the developmental disability”?
10. Sudbery Software Engineering Ltd Does your team want help to improve their software delivery? Coaching, keynotes & workshops Events and info: bit.ly/claresudbery Mastodon: mastodon.social/@ClareSudbery LinkedIn: bit.ly/lin-csudbery Podcast: bit.ly/3XvyNbU
11. @ClareSudbery ALL LINKS FROM TODAY (including a link to these slides)
12. Why the velvet shoelace?
13. Neurodivergent Refers to individuals who think, learn, or process information in ways that differ from what’s considered typical (neurotypical). Neurotypical Refers to individuals who process information in a way that aligns with what’s considered typical in society. Neurodiverse Describes a group that includes both neurotypical and neurodivergent individuals. Terminology
14. - Autism (ASD) - Dyslexia and other learning differences - Auditory processing differences - Tourette's Syndrome - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) - ADHD (hyperactive, inattentive, or both) Neurodivergence
15. There is overlap between “neurotypical” and “neurodivergent” …but it’s a 3D spectrum, not a continuum …and people can be under-responsive as well as over-responsive
16. My own challenges - Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD): conflict-averse + highly sensitive - Contradiction between love of predictability and love of change - Take things literally - Slow thinker - Hate ambiguity - Concentration / distracted / easily diverted - Too many ideas, too many thoughts - Easily overwhelmed - People are tiring and confusing, social situations are hard - “Inappropriate” / over-sharing / “too much” / turn-taking - …I keep thinking of more, but I have to stop somewhere!
17. My own strengths - Attention to detail - Hyperfocus - Pattern matching - Obsessive drive to complete tasks - Honesty + straight-talking - A high level of empathy and integrity - Creativity - Love of change - Spontaneity + energy + joyfulness - No assumptions / thinking outside the box - Asking questions
18. An example of when things are hard: Travel (TRIGGER WARNING)
21. “Why did he say that?”
22. “Is it rude to open my laptop?”
23. “Where’s my luggage gone?”
24. Now I’m sobbing…
25. But what will help? Don’t want to be selfish / expensive
26. The “hidden disability” sunflower lanyard
27. Another example: Can’t change anything Just leave
28. No idea what I want or need Not getting real help
29. Unsolicited advice Assumptions Not listening Getting it wrong as a mentor
30. Asking questions Listening No advice unless asked for Doing better as a mentor
31. “Would you like advice? Or do you just want to vent?” Or even better…
32. …don’t offer advice at all! • Talk about it • Distraction • Space
33. Communication example: The smell in the room
34. The delight of mutual confusion Cloves vs Clothes
35. The silent colleague
36. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria => repeated positive feedback People don't always know what they need Some will be embarrassed to ask Ablism exists both externally and internally Some costs are not just luxuries You have to mean it when you offer support Answer questions + explain if necessary Informal support is just as important as formal HR policy Don’t only consider needs of those you know to have challenges Enable people to do what helps them (eg stimming) SOME Conclusions for the world
37. - Clearly defined routines and expectations - Flexible environments - Extra support when travelling - Sound and light adjustments or accommodations - Task management tools - Permission for remote employees to turn the camera off during a meeting MIGHT be helpful
38. It's not one size fits all *people*, and it's not one size fits all *time* Don't just ask people to tell you in advance what they need (although do ask that, because they might know upfront) Keep asking them, and keep paying attention in case they are not even noticing their own needs Don't only ask the people who have stated differences and needs - ask everyone Beware unconscious ablism when giving feedback Diversity is not comfortable, but it is powerful One size fits all?
39. @ClareSudbery ALL LINKS FROM TODAY (including a link to these slides)