Ground Up Script

Transcript

1. ​ PILOT​ ​ “3 Beans in a Pod”​ ​ Written by​ ​ Finn Guy​ ​ Additional writing by​ ​ Clara Barker​ ​ DRAFT ONE​ ​ 17th March 2026​
2. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 1​ ​ INT. CUPPA MUD CAFE – EVENING (CLOSING TIME)​ ​ A​​ warm​ ​ n​​ evening,​​ warm​​ glow shines through the front​​ facing​ ​ window of the cafe as Joe,​​ closing down, begins to​​ wipe​ ​ s​​ the​ ​ counter​​ down​ ​ . It’s closing time, perfect - however, Joe and​ ​ Teedee are at the tail end of a heated debate.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (disgusted)​ ​ I can’t believe you’re drinking​ ​ that. It cannot be good for you.​ ​ I could make you something​​ actually​ ​ nice​​ if you want.​ ​ Teedee takes a sip from a massive takeaway coffee cup, covered​ ​ in corporate branding and a mound of whipped cream.​ ​ TEEDEE​ ​ It’s fast, cheap and I bet nobody​ ​ here could tell the difference.​ ​ Teedee gestures behind to the 1’s of customers in the cafe.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (smug)​ ​ I think our customers are a little​ ​ smarter than you give them credit​ ​ for.​ ​ Joe then watches as a customer takes a bite out of a coffee​ ​ mug and chews it like a horse. A little disappointed, he turns​ ​ back to Teedee who has started fingering around in the tip​ ​ jar..​ ​ TEEDEE​ ​ It doesn’t matter, technically​ ​ I’m banned from this place​ ​ anyway.​ ​ QUICK CUT TO:​ ​ A BANNED CUSTOMER BOARD behind the counter, subtitled “DO NOT​ ​ SERVE,” covered in pictures of TEEDEE in various disguises.​
3. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 2​ ​ JOE​ ​ (sighs)​ ​ Yeah, well…​ ​ Joe smacks her hand and she slumps over to the other side of​ ​ the counter.​ ​ JOE​ ​ Your breath stinks.​ ​ Teedee leans into Joe, and takes a massive, loud sip from her​ ​ oversized takeaway cup. Joe smacks it out of her hand in​ ​ frustration, and the cup flies across the room and into a​ ​ potted plant. A beat later, the harsh chemicals in the coffee,​ ​ cause it to​​ wither and die.​ ​ (Beat) It then catches light.​ ​ Joe looks smugly at Teedee.​ ​ TEEDEE​ ​ The next one's going on you.​ ​ In the distance an arrogant, yet somewhat catchy chant can be​ ​ heard. Teedee and Joe turn and face the kitchen door.​ ​ BEANS (O.S.)​ ​ Close. Close​ ​ .​​ Close. Close.​​ Close!​ ​ Beans carrying a huge, loaded tray of steaming crockery, boots​ ​ the kitchen door open, and continues his celebratory chant as​ ​ he crashes down the delicate crockery onto the cafe counter.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Close! CLOSE! CLOSE! CLOSE!​ ​ Beans climbs up onto the counter, and begins shaking Joe back​ ​ and forth. The last few customers of the day leave in a huff​ ​ because of the loud noise. This upsets Joe momentarily but​ ​ soon he, Teedee and Beans are all chanting.​ ​ ALL THREE​ ​ CLOSE! CLOSE! CLOSE! CLOSE!​
4. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 3​ ​ BEANS​ ​ YESS! We’re finally free!​ ​ JOE​ ​ (smug)​ ​ I thought it was a pretty easy day.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Yeah but, look -​ ​ Beans points at the calendar hanging above the coffee machine.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ We have worked non stop for the​ ​ past 3 weeks. I need ME time Joe!​ ​ Beans begins shaking Joe again.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ I NEED LEISURE.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (investigating the calendar,​ ​ untrusting)​ ​ Yeahhh, you’re right. We’ve picked​ ​ up quite a few jobs the past few​ ​ weeks. But Beans!​ ​ Joe jumps back excitedly.​ ​ JOE​ ​ That means it’s working! People​ ​ have started realising we’re the go​ ​ to guys for anything!. Soon We’ll​ ​ be able to BUY this place!​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Yeah I know but-​
5. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 4​ ​ JOE​ ​ Think, no more bosses. NO MORE​ ​ being told what to do! Me and you!​ ​ Running this place by OURSELVES.​ ​ CUT TO:​ ​ INT JOE’S CUPPA MUD DREAMSCAPE​ ​ We cut to Joe’s imagination. Inside, they’re lying on​ ​ loungers in a golden, palatial version of the café,​ ​ sipping coffee while customers fan them with leaves.​ ​ Naturally, the mayor arrives to congratulate them.​ ​ MAYOR​ ​ Thank you, Joe and Beans! Your​ ​ coffee shop has done so well under​ ​ your “cool and youthful” take on​ ​ management, that you deserve the​ ​ key to the city!​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Oh, SICK!​ ​ Beans glances up for a moment, taking in their success,​ ​ then looks back down and continues playing his Game Boy​ ​ Colour. A woman runs over and kisses Joe on the cheek.​ ​ WOMAN​ ​ And I, your childhood crush, don’t​ ​ think you’re boring and weird. I am​ ​ IN LOVE with you, JOE!​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (cheering)​ ​ Wooooooo!​ ​ A guitar flies through the air. Joe catches it and plays​ ​ a tasty lick the real him could never comprehend.​ ​ JOE​ ​ I LOVE YOU TOO-​
6. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 5​ ​ CUT TO:​ ​ INT. CUPPA MUD CAFE – EVENING (CLOSING TIME)​ ​ JOE(CONT’D)​ ​ -MRS FERGURSON.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (Shouting)​ ​ JOE!​ ​ Joe falls silent, shaken back to reality.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (shrugs)​ ​ I know, and I… Mrs Fergurson? The​ ​ PE teacher?​ ​ BEAT. Joe looks away, half-embarrassed about being in love​ ​ with their childhood PE teacher, half remembering the way her​ ​ hair bounced when she did shot put.​ ​ BEANS (CONT’D)​ ​ (suspicious)​ ​ I… I know we’re doing good. And I​ ​ want to bin off Steve as much as​ ​ you do.​ ​ Beans gestures to a framed photo titled “The 3 Coff-migos.”​ ​ In it, their awful boss, Steve, has both of them locked in​ ​ a too-tight “photo pose” that’s clearly just a hug. Joe and​ ​ Beans grimace, mid-escape.​ ​ TEEDEE​ ​ Booo. That guys sucks.​ ​ Teedee throws a croissant at the picture.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (shrugs)​ ​ I’m just excited for the night off.​
7. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 6​ ​ TEEDEE​ ​ Yeah, you guys have been working​ ​ pretty hard lately. How much money​ ​ have you raised so far?​ ​ Beans looks away embarrassed, starting to put the clean mugs​ ​ and saucers in the cabinet below the counter.​ ​ JOE​ ​ We HAD made quite a bit of money,​ ​ until​​ somebody​​ invested it all in​ ​ his stupid jazz album.​ ​ Beans hops up quickly.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ It’s reggae soul! And it’s going to​ ​ POP OFF!​ ​ JOE​ ​ NO IT’s NOT! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO​ ​ DO WITH 200 copies of THIS?​ ​ Joe opens a drawer full to the brim with cassettes, and pulls​ ​ out a cassette copy of ‘Bean Chillin’ a reggae soul cover​ ​ album by Beans.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ SELL THEM! Did you even play them​ ​ in the cafe today?​ ​ Joe thinks back to this morning…​ ​ CUT TO:​ ​ INT : CUPPA MUD. MORNING.​ ​ Joe is opening the cafe in the morning. He looks at the tape,​ ​ the cover: Beans sat in a Hawaiian shirt on a white sand beach​ ​ at sunset. He huffs, puts the cassette into the boombox, hits​ ​ play and upon 1 second of music playing a huge, angry,​
8. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 7​ ​ muscular man sprints in and smashes the boombox with a​ ​ baseball bat.​ ​ MAN​ ​ (Screaming)​ ​ KNOCK IT OFF! I’ve got a newborn SON!​ ​ CUT TO:​ ​ INT : CUPPA MUD EVENING.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (Thinking)​ ​ People weren’t really into it.​ ​ The cafe phone begins to ring and Joe walks away to answer​ ​ it.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ They’ll sell. It’s all about supply​ ​ and demand. Watch.​ ​ Beans turns to Teedee and pulls out a pencil.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Teedee, sell me this pencil.​ ​ Teedee takes the pencil and observes it.​ ​ Joe walks back over to the two.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (awkwardly)​ ​ SO, who wants to do a bit of part​ ​ time work for cash…? Those in​ ​ favour say ‘Aah’!​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (condescendingly)​ ​ Don’t you mean aye-​
9. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 8​ ​ Teedee jams the pencil into Beans’ hand on the counter.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (screaming)​ ​ AAAAHHHHHHH!​ ​ HARD CUT TO:​ ​ INT : PETAL TO THE MEDAL MAIN ENTRANCE​ ​ Inside the florist ‘Petal to the Medal’, Joe and Beans are​ ​ being shown around by a man named Frank. Frank appears to be​ ​ the perfect dictionary depiction of a mad scientist: white​ ​ manic hair held up with thick 60s glasses, a stained t-shirt​ ​ hidden by a long burnt white lab coat, and exposed toes being​ ​ held together by dark brown leathered sandals. Frank, in​ ​ short, looks mental.​ ​ Beans, rubbing his hand scowls at Joe.​ ​ FRANK​ ​ (cutting off)​ ​ Well boys, thanks for coming at​ ​ such short notice.​ ​ JOE​ ​ Not a problem. What do you need a​ ​ hand with?​ ​ FRANK​ ​ Well, just a few jobs here and​ ​ there… I’ve really been meaning to​ ​ get an assistant-​ ​ Frank hands Beans a list of chores for the day. Beans takes​ ​ it and shoves the paper into his hoodie pocket.​ ​ FRANK (CONT’D)​ ​ -As a florist I like to try-​
10. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 9​ ​ Frank begins rambling about plants. Beans yawns loudly and​ ​ looks around, clearly uninterested, peeking into an open bag​ ​ of manure.​ ​ FRANK (CONT’D)​ ​ Of course, my true passion lies in​ ​ the sciences. I was somewhat of a​ ​ genius 20 years ago. Or 40. I​ ​ don’t—HA!—know how long I’ve been​ ​ here.​ ​ Frank looks around nervously, as if he’s been waiting years​ ​ for someone to shoot him in the shins. He shakes off the​ ​ paranoia, scratches his arm three times, and continues.​ ​ FRANK (CONT’D)​ ​ But of course nobody will hire me​ ​ anymore because I’m…​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (chiming in)​ ​ Mental?​ ​ Joe immediately grabs Beans and shoves his head into the sack​ ​ of manure. Beans starts screaming as Joe keeps pushing his​ ​ head down to stop him talking.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (forced enthusiasm)​ ​ Men–TALENTED! Talented!​ ​ Mentalented. Ha! You must be a​ ​ talented scientist to afford​​ this​ ​ place.​ ​ Joe gestures proudly around the shop. Suddenly, an armchair​ ​ crashes through the ceiling, smashing into the floor below. A​ ​ cat SCREAMS in the distance.​ ​ BEAT.​
11. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 10​ ​ FRANK​ ​ (untrusting)​ ​ Yes… It is nice isn’t it? Right​ ​ this way, boys. We’ll start with​ ​ some bush trimming.​ ​ Frank turns to exit.​ ​ Joe finally lets go of Beans. Beans pulls his head out of the​ ​ manure bag, now completely covered in dirt, gasping for air.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ I’m not going anywhere near that​ ​ man’s bush.​ ​ Joe shrugs and follows Frank out the room.​ ​ Beans stays behind, brushing manure off himself and spots a​ ​ LAVATORY sign. Noticing his filthy clothes, sighs.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ LAVA… TORY. Well, at least I can​ ​ get clean.​ ​ As he walks through the doorway, vines and leaves growing​ ​ around the frame creak and slowly move, revealing the door’s​ ​ true sign:​ ​ LABORATORY​ ​ INT. FLORIST LABORATORY – CONTINUOUS​ ​ Beans enters a large, cold laboratory. The room is filled with​ ​ beakers of strange fluids, Bunsen burners, cloning tubes, and​ ​ cages holding bizarre hybrids - creatures stitched together​ ​ from animals and plants. The lab looks like someone sneezed​ ​ their spinach lunch across the room: everything is coated in​ ​ moss, tangled grass, and scattered piles of soil. As he walks​ ​ through, the heads of the plants swivel to follow him, their​ ​ gaze unnervingly fixed.​
12. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 11​ ​ Beans looks around, uneasy.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ What? …Is this…​ ​ He walks over to a glass tank containing what appears to be a​ ​ log.​ ​ Beans knocks on the glass.​ ​ He notices a sticky label on the side and reads it.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Hedge… log?​ ​ Beans turns back to the log.​ ​ The log slowly begins to unravel. Two eyes pop out from one​ ​ end, followed by four stumpy legs at the bottom. A creature -​ ​ a living log, cute and sturdy - begins sniffing the glass.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Aww.​ ​ The hedgelog looks at Beans sweetly - then snaps its head​ ​ to the side, unhinges its jaw, revealing sharp teeth in its​ ​ drooling mouth before bolting toward the glass.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (alarmed)​ ​ WOAH!​ ​ Beans stumbles back in fright, knocking over a table of glass​ ​ jars and lab equipment. He gets tangled in a dusty blanket​ ​ and tumbles face-first into a nearby closet, landing hard. A​ ​ dark shadow looms over him as he lies dazed on the floor.​
13. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 12​ ​ INT. FLORIST LABORATORY CLOSET – CONTINUOUS​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (groaning)​ ​ Urrrrrgh… A secret room in a secret​ ​ room? Feels a little “hat on a​ ​ hat”. Don’tcha say Frank?​ ​ As the dust settles, Beans pulls his beanie back into place,​ ​ brushes himself off, grumbling, and launches into a terrible,​ ​ 2/10 impression of Frank - completely unaware of the thing​ ​ looming over him.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (Imitating Frank)​ ​ Haha! No! This is where I keep my​ ​ plant bride! And my beautiful plant​ ​ children! And my plant toilet for​ ​ my plant-​ ​ Beans looks up and sees the thing above him: : a giant​ ​ eight-foot beanstalk.​ ​ BEANS (CONT’D)​ ​ …poos.​ ​ BEAT​ ​ He gulps in fear, immediately regretting what he said about​ ​ the plant poos. Vines cover the entirety of the closet, and​ ​ roots dig into the wooden floor. The stalk is green, with​ ​ purple, pulsing veins along its branches. Hanging from it​ ​ are shoebox-sized bean pods and a sign that reads,​​ “DO NOT​ ​ TOUCH.”​ ​ Beans looks at the bean pod. Then at the sign. Then back at​ ​ the bean pod.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (smug and a little annoyed)​ ​ I’m obviously touching it.​
14. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 13​ ​ Without hesitation, he slaps his palm against the base of the​ ​ stalk. Instantly, the plant’s flesh wraps around his hand,​ ​ gripping tight and pulling him in.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Ah.​ ​ The beanstalk keeps sucking him in - first his arm, then his​ ​ torso, and slowly his head.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Hmm.​ ​ (beat)​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (panicked)​ ​ NO! WHY DIDN’T ANYONE WARN ME! JOE!​ ​ WHERE ARE YOUUU-​ ​ CUT TO:​ ​ INT : PETAL TO THE MEDAL GREENHOUSE​ ​ Joe is sitting at a table listening to Frank give a long,​ ​ boring speech about the different inconsistencies of dirt and​ ​ their origins. Joe is falling asleep.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (CONT’D, distant)​ ​ -YOUUU?​ ​ FRANK​ ​ (droning)​ ​ And the interesting thing about​ ​ southern himalayan sea dirt is the​ ​ strange brown hue that is immensely​ ​ contrasting but not too dissimilar​ ​ to the Alaskan water put-put mud.​ ​ You see the different species tend​ ​ to-​
15. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 14​ ​ Joe’s head slams on the table as he finally falls asleep,​ ​ the impact waking him up again immediately.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (startled)​ ​ BUSHES!​ ​ SMASH​​ CUT TO:​ ​ INT. FLORIST LABORATORY CLOSET – CONTINUOUS​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (panicked)​ ​ AAAAHHHHHHH!​ ​ Beans is sucked completely into the beanstalk. A beat later he​ ​ is spat out of the top, covered in a sticky green ooze.​ ​ Tensions rise as what appears to be a Venus flytrap, with a​ ​ bean-pod-shaped head, unravels from the stalk and lowers​ ​ toward Beans - its teeth sharp and ready to bite. Beans​ ​ attempts to get up and run but keeps slipping on the green​ ​ ooze that coats him.​ ​ The head stops, now inches from Beans’ head, and shakes​ ​ rapidly from side to side. Slowly, a glowing, egg-shaped mass​ ​ can be seen sliding down the creature’s throat toward its​ ​ mouth. The plant begins to cough and, in a​ ​ cowboy-spittoon-like fashion, the creature spits out three​ ​ green eggs at Beans’ feet.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (grossed out)​ ​ Grim.​ ​ The plant straightens, returning to its original stalk-like​ ​ pose. Beans’ gaze shifts back to the three green eggs, lying​ ​ on the floor and sweating.​ ​ One by one, the eggs begin to vibrate. Beans continues to look​ ​ on in awe as the first unravels, revealing a small, pint-sized​
16. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 15​ ​ clone of himself - a Beanling. Then the second, and finally​ ​ the third. Beans’ look of disgust begins to bend into an​ ​ ear-to-ear smile.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Oh my god.​ ​ BEANLING 01​ ​ (imitating)​ ​ Oh…​ ​ BEANLING 02​ ​ (imitating)​ ​ …my…​ ​ BEANLING 03​ ​ (imitating)​ ​ …God.​ ​ CUT TO BLACK​ ​ INT. FLORIST LABORATORY​ ​ Beans smiles in awe at the three pint-sized clones of himself,​ ​ standing in a line before him. He paces back and forth,​ ​ rambling under his breath - trying to make sense of the​ ​ situation.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (rambling)​ ​ This is craaaazyyyy. Crazy!​ ​ Frank’s an actual​​ mad​​ scientist. I​ ​ thought scientists were just in​ ​ films. Do people​​ really​​ do that​ ​ for a living? Well, I guess​ ​ doctors… and that bloke with the​ ​ robot voice and cool chair.​ ​ Beans stops and turns to the first Beanling, leaning in close,​ ​ inspecting, and pointing at its face.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ You! Hey, buddy. Erm - nice to…​ ​ meet me?​
17. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 16​ ​ Beanling 01 looks confused. Beans leans in even closer,​ ​ looking it up and down.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ So, are you me? Or are you, like, a​ ​ baby version of me?​ ​ Beanling 01 grabs the end of Beans’ beak and mimics his​ ​ pointing hand.​ ​ BEANLING 01​ ​ Bud… eeee. Buddeeee..​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (Excited)​ ​ Yeah man! Me and you: buddies.​ ​ Beans ruffles the Beanling’s little grass hair, and it smiles​ ​ back at him fondly.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ I’m gonna call you Graham.​ ​ Beanling 01​​ Graham and Beans share a brief moment​​ of love,​ ​ Beans is a mother now. Shaking off these gross feelings of​ ​ kinship, he turns to the other Beanlings.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Haha, cool. Baby me. OI!, you two-​ ​ Beans turns to see Beanling 02 perched on top of Beanling 03,​ ​ brandishing a comically oversized hammer as they reach for the​ ​ HedgeLog in its tank. They freeze when caught and look back at​ ​ him.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (shouting)​ ​ STOP THAT!​ ​ The two Beanlings quickly climb down and hurry back to Beans,​ ​ forming a neat line like soldiers.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ You guys… do as I say?​
18. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 17​ ​ BEAT​ ​ Beans reaches into his hoodie pocket and pulls out the chore​ ​ list Frank gave him.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (gleefully)​ ​ Whoever wants to do some jobs, say​ ​ “Aahh!”​ ​ INT. FLORIST LABORATORY CLOSET – CONTINUOUS​ ​ Unbeknownst to Beans, back in the closet, the plant​ ​ shudders violently. A slithering sound fills the air again​ ​ as it begins spitting out more eggs, one after another.​ ​ CUT TO:​ ​ EXT : PETAL TO THE MEDAL GARDEN​ ​ After an hour of intense labour, Joe finally hucks the last​ ​ bag of fertiliser onto a towering pile. Sweating, he slides​ ​ down the side of the heap and collapses onto the ground, out​ ​ of breath.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (exhausted)​ ​ Two… hundred… and fifty… bags.​ ​ DONE. UUUrrrrrghhhhhhh-​ ​ Joe lies staring at the sky in a daze. Beans strolls over,​ ​ leaning over him with a smug grin.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Hello there.​ ​ Joe lifts his arms, and they flop as if they have no​ ​ bones.​ ​ JOE​ ​ I blame you for this.​
19. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 18​ ​ Joe sits up and shoves Beans’ head out of the way. Beans flips​ ​ a plant pot into a makeshift stool and perches on it, looking​ ​ down at Joe.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Who, ME?​​ Well you can rest now,​ ​ guess who just finished ALL OF THE​ ​ WORK?​ ​ .​ ​ Beans stands, arms open, jazz hands imminent, waiting for​ ​ applause. There is none. A man coughs somewhere in the​ ​ distance.​ ​ JOE​ ​ We’ve been here an hour, there’s no​ ​ way-​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (mocking Joe)​ ​ -”no way you could have”​ ​ pfffftttttt. IT’S DONE. Thank me​ ​ later, brother. Let’s get outta​ ​ here.​ ​ Beans hops off the plant pot, remaining very much on his high​ ​ horse. Off-screen, Frank’s scream steadily grows louder.​ ​ Suddenly, Frank bursts through the back doors of the florist​ ​ into the garden - criminally unfit.​ ​ FRANK​ ​ (Screaming)​ ​ YOU!​ ​ Joe and Beans pause and turn toward the scientist. His once​ ​ harmless, idiotic demeanor is gone - Frank is fuming.​ ​ FRANK​ ​ (Screaming)​ ​ WHAT HAVE YOU-​
20. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 19​ ​ CUT TO:​ ​ INT: PETAL TO THE MEDAL MAIN ENTRANCE​ ​ FRANK (CONT’D)​ ​ -DONE?​ ​ Frank drags the boys back to the main room of the florist​ ​ where they first met. The flowers are gone. The plants are​ ​ gone. Bags of soil are scattered everywhere. Vines hang torn​ ​ from the ceiling, and shattered plant pots litter the floor.​ ​ The place is a complete dump.​ ​ JOE​ ​ I- don’t understa.. WHAT? Beans?!​ ​ Beans, flustered and lost for words, steps into what looks​ ​ like a floral cemetery.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ It wasn’t me! I’ve been upstairs in​ ​ the-​ ​ Beans steps on a crumpled piece of paper. He picks it up​ ​ and, on closer inspection, realises it’s the list of chores​ ​ he gave the Beanlings. All the colour drains from his face.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Oh no.​ ​ The chores list is revealed one task at a time, and each​ ​ time, we see the Beanlings’ ruined version of the task.​ ​ TRIM BUSHES​ ​ The bushes have been shredded, leaving only the nibbled-on​ ​ roots.​ ​ WATER PLANTS​ ​ All the potted plants have been dumped into a bathtub, the tap​ ​ still running.​
21. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 20​ ​ WASH CAR​ ​ A pristine 1960s convertible, straight out of​​ Ferris​​ Bueller’s​ ​ Day Off​ ​ , is filled to the brim with soil.​ ​ WASH DISHES​ ​ A spotless pile of crockery is neatly stacked near a sink.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (surprised)​ ​ Oh. Well, they actually did a good​ ​ job with that one.​ ​ JOE​ ​ Who​​ did a good job with that?​ ​ FRANK​ ​ What do you mean upstairs?​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Listen…​ ​ Behind Beans, soil is smeared across the walls of the​ ​ florist. In jagged letters, it reads:​ ​ THE BEANS WOZ HERE​ ​ BEANS​ ​ I’m a mother now.​ ​ INT. FLORIST LABORATORY – CONTINUOUS​ ​ Back upstairs in the lab, Beans shows Frank and Joe the three​ ​ empty eggshells on the floor. Frank paces back and forth,​ ​ stressed, while Joe tries to piece the story together in his​ ​ head.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ -And that’s everything that​ ​ happened.​ ​ Joe is silent for a second, pondering, hand on chin.​
22. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 21​ ​ JOE​ ​ So… Gremlins?​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Kind of like Gremlins… But, they​ ​ look like me?​ ​ JOE​ ​ Beanlings?​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Beanlings.​ ​ Joe and Beans turn to a stressed out Frank both in agreement​ ​ of a stupid new term.​ ​ JOE AND BEANS​ ​ Beanlings.​ ​ FRANK​ ​ (interrupting)​ ​ Well, as long as they’re only doing​ ​ things​​ in​​ the shop, we’re okay - we​ ​ can round them up.​ ​ Beans stands still, suddenly a little quiet.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Say, hypothetically, I sent them to​ ​ do some more jobs…​​ outside​ ​ … We​ ​ hadn’t finished?​ ​ Joe slaps himself in the face - visibly annoyed. A TV turns​ ​ on in the corner of the room.​ ​ NEWS ANCHOR​ ​ It’s hour 2 of Gremlins -​ ​ JOE AND BEANS​ ​ (interrupting)​ ​ Beanlings.​
23. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 22​ ​ BEANS (CONT’D)​ ​ (heckling)​ ​ -It’s different!​ ​ NEWS ANCHOR (CONT’D)​ ​ -attacking Sitty City. Streets are​ ​ in chaos. Citizens are advised:​ ​ REMAIN INDOORS.​ ​ Cut to:​ ​ NEWS STORY of Beanling mayhem:​ ​ (TV STATIC)​ ​ An old lady is trying to cross the street. A Beanling​ ​ offers her a hand.​ ​ OLD LADY​ ​ Oh! Thank you sonny. So swee-​ ​ The Beanling lobs her across the street like a human​ ​ basketball. She lands safely, but upside-down in a bin.​ ​ Nothing but Annette.​ ​ (TV STATIC)​ ​ A businessman parks his luxury car outside a classy​ ​ restaurant. He tosses the keys to a Beanling.​ ​ BUSINESS MAN​ ​ Take her easy ya hear bud?​ ​ The Beanling gives him the thumbs up, then accelerates​ ​ wildly, launching the car over a cliff.​ ​ (TV STATIC)​ ​ A Beanling is scrubbing a wall with a sponge and bucket of​ ​ water. Pleased with his work he smiles and walks away. The​ ​ camera pans - he’s actually erasing a mural. A street artist​ ​ carrying a box of paint arrives.​
24. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 23​ ​ STREET ARTIST​ ​ MY LIFE’S WORK… RUINED!​ ​ (TV STATIC)​ ​ A Beanling, holding a pig and a ‘Lost Pet’ poster, approaches​ ​ a grateful man. The Beanling hands over the pig and poster.​ ​ The man beams, shakes the Beanling’s hand. The Beanling nods​ ​ politely and walks away. The camera pans out slowly. The​ ​ storefront sign reads: “BUTCHERS.”​ ​ The TV turns off abruptly. Frank holding a remote looks​ ​ terrified.​ ​ INT. FLORIST LABORATORY – CONTINUOUS​ ​ FRANK:​ ​ Oh no… no, no, no, no. I’m in​​ so​ ​ much trouble… This is—haha—no, this​ ​ is why they banned me from doing​ ​ any more​​ p e r s o n a l​ ​ experiments.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (startled)​ ​ BANNED you??​ ​ Frank suddenly grabs Beans and Joe by their shoulders,​ ​ holding them close to his sweating face.​ ​ FRANK:​ ​ Boys, I need your help. I need your​ ​ - HAHAHA - I NEED YOUR HELP!​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Ang on, why don’t we just-​ ​ Joe steps in front of Beans, interrupting him.​ ​ JOE​ ​ How can we help?​ ​ Beans sinks back behind Joe, annoyed at being talked over.​
25. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 24​ ​ FRANK​ ​ We just need them back here. Then​ ​ we can destroy them.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (worried)​ ​ Whoa! That’s a bit harsh! They’re​ ​ like kids!​​ And​​ they aren’t really​ ​ doing anything​​ that​​ bad.​ ​ The TV turns itself back on.​ ​ NEWS REPORTER​ ​ THEY REALLY ARE DOING THINGS THAT​ ​ BAD!​​ IT APPEARS THE GREMLINS have​ ​ EATEN​​ the CAMERA CREW.​ ​ Shot of a Beanling lying on its belly, slowly swallowing a TV​ ​ producer whole - like a snake - as he lies there, accepting​ ​ his fate. Another Beanling spots the camera op, and lunges at​ ​ him. A muffled scream is heard, and the TV cuts to black.​ ​ BEAT.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (defeated)​ ​ Yeah, alright.​ ​ Frank grabs a hammer from the side and smashes an “IN CASE OF​ ​ EMERGENCY” box on the wall. He pulls out another hammer from​ ​ inside, which he uses to smash an identical “IN CASE OF​ ​ EMERGENCY” box next to it. From inside, he retrieves a key.​ ​ Frank unlocks a cabinet in the lab. On the shelves: rows of​ ​ supernatural, Ghostbuster-esque uniforms, gadgets, technology,​ ​ and plant repellent.​ ​ FRANK​ ​ (action movie voice)​ ​ I’m going to need you boys to​ ​ finish whacking those weeds.​
26. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 25​ ​ A quick montage: Joe and Beans suiting up in​​ Luigi’s​ ​ Mansion​ ​ -style weed-whacking equipment. Full boiler​​ suits,​ ​ gadgets from head to toe: Joe with a vacuum cleaner, Beans​ ​ with a garden fork, both sporting sunglasses.​ ​ EXT : PETAL TO THE MEDAL ROOFTOP​ ​ The two boys - hero shot - stand suited up on the florist​ ​ rooftop, looking out over the city on the horizon: on fire,​ ​ in utter chaos, police helicopters circling, sirens​ ​ blasting.​ ​ Beans cocks the gardening fork like a shotgun and a shell​ ​ somehow falls to the floor.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (serious)​ ​ Time to get our hands dirby.​ ​ BEAT​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (confused)​ ​ Dirb-​ ​ JOE​ ​ (upset)​ ​ I know I ruined it.​ ​ EXT : OUTER SITTY CITY - WATER TOWER​ ​ On the outskirts of the city, the boys stand at the base of​ ​ the Sitty City Water Tower. Beyond it, the dense forest that​ ​ rings the city stretches into the distance.​ ​ Beans squats, scoops up a clump of dirt, sniffs it, then lets​ ​ it fall back to the ground.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ They’re here, I can feel it. It’s a​ ​ mother’s intuition.​
27. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 26​ ​ JOE​ ​ The TV said this is the last place​ ​ the Beanlings were spotted.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ That too.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (puzzled)​ ​ I wonder what they're doing here​ ​ though.​ ​ They both tilt their heads up.​ ​ The water tower looms impossibly tall above the city, its​ ​ shadow stretching long across the skyline in the glow of the​ ​ setting sun.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ I knew it! GRAHAM!​ ​ At the very top stands Beanling 01 - Graham - overlooking the​ ​ ruined city below, the work of him and his brothers.​ ​ EXT. WATER TOWER – TOP​ ​ Graham gazes out over the destruction, hands clasped together​ ​ like an evil genius admiring his masterpiece.​ ​ Beans pulls himself over the edge, completely exhausted from​ ​ the climb.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (exhausted)​ ​ Grah—Gra—Grow… Aw, go-. Aw no -​ ​ I'm… I'm gonna throw up.​ ​ Beans flops on to the top of the water tower, exhausted. Joe​ ​ pops his head up, completely fine.​
28. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 27​ ​ JOE​ ​ You’ve really got to stop eating​ ​ the stale bread at the park.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (shouting)​ ​ NEVER!​ ​ Beans pushes himself upright, wobbling slightly, and starts​ ​ toward Graham.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Graham, it’s me!​ ​ Graham turns.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Buddies remember! Buddeee?​ ​ Beans mimics the same pointing motion as earlier. He and​ ​ Graham lock eyes.​ ​ For a moment, everything softens. A strange, tender, almost​ ​ mother-son connection. It’s oddly beautiful.​ ​ JOE​ ​ BEANS, DUCK!​ ​ Joe suddenly drops to one knee and fires a net-shooting​ ​ bazooka.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ WAIT, NO!​ ​ Beans dives in slow motion, dramatically intercepting the net.​ ​ It wraps around him. Graham looks down - hurt flickers across​ ​ his face, quickly twisting into anger. He leaps from the​ ​ tower.​
29. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 28​ ​ The ground below begins to rumble like an earthquake. Beans​ ​ struggles upright, tearing the net off himself and Joe storms​ ​ over, furious.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (angry)​ ​ BEANS! WE HAD HIM! What’s your DEAL​ ​ today? Do you even want to buy the​ ​ cafe anymore? First you don’t want​ ​ to work, then you bail and DON’T​ ​ EVEN HELP me and now-​ ​ BEANS​ ​ NO!​ ​ The tower sways as the rumbling intensifies.​ ​ They stand alone now at the top, the structure shaking beneath​ ​ them almost reacting to the argument.​ ​ JOE​ ​ No?​ ​ BEANS​ ​ YEA, NO!​ ​ JOE​ ​ What?​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (defeated)​ ​ I - I dunno mate…​ ​ Beans sinks down, curling into himself, face buried in his​ ​ knees.​
30. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 29​ ​ BEANS​ ​ I WANT to do the jobs with you,​ ​ Joe! Of COURSE I wanna buy the​ ​ café, but the whole point of us​ ​ doing all of these part time jobs​ ​ was to get​​ rid​​ of our boss. We’re​ ​ meant to be a team!​ ​ JOE​ ​ (interrupting)​ ​ Yeah I know-​ ​ BEANS​ ​ See! You always talk over me! You have all day - you’ve​ ​ started being really bossy. It doesn’t feel like teamwork​ ​ anymore. It feels like-​ ​ Beans stops, struggling to find a better word than​ ​ “meanwork.” He pulls his reggae soul tape from his pocket,​ ​ staring at it as he rubs his thumb along its edge.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (upset)​ ​ I just feel stupid.​ ​ He tosses the tape aside. It skids to a stop at Joe’s feet.​ ​ Joe looks down at it, guilt settling in.​ ​ He hadn’t realised how much he’d been taking over and​ ​ dismissing Beans, telling him what to do. They’re supposed to​ ​ be a team.​ ​ And he’s going to start acting like it.​ ​ JOE​ ​ Hey, Beans…​ ​ Joe steps closer.​ ​ Beans looks up.​ ​ Joe reaches out-​
31. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 30​ ​ JOE​ ​ What should​​ we​​ do?​ ​ Beans smiles faintly, grabbing Joe’s hand and pulling himself​ ​ back to his feet.​ ​ The shaking worsens, nearly knocking them over again, and​ ​ suddenly, the radio clipped to Joe’s hip crackles to life.​ ​ FRANK​ ​ JOEL? BEADS? Can you hear me-​ ​ INT. FLORIST LABORATORY​ ​ FRANK (CONT”D)​ ​ -boys?​ ​ Frank grips the radio, frantic. Through the crackling signal,​ ​ Joe responds.​ ​ JOE​ ​ YEAH, WE CAN HEAR YOU. WHAT’S​ ​ HAPPENING?​ ​ BEANS (O.S)​ ​ Beads?​ ​ Frank slowly turns. Behind him, the closet door that once​ ​ contained the mutant beanstalk hangs open.​ ​ FRANK​ ​ I’ve just come across something​ ​ terrible, boys. The Beanlings​ ​ -there’s - there’s gonna be a few​ ​ more for you to catch.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (smuggly)​ ​ What, like four? Five?​ ​ Frank looks at the floor: littered with hundreds of split-open​ ​ egg sacs, empty and lifeless.​
32. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 31​ ​ FRANK​ ​ Urm… HAHA! more like -​ ​ EXT. WATER TOWER – TOP​ ​ FRANK (CONT’D)​ ​ hundreds.​ ​ Behind Joe and Beans, a massive green explosion erupts.​ ​ Hundreds of small green blurs rocket through the air, merging​ ​ and twisting together like a giant blob of play-dough, growing​ ​ larger and larger.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ They’re combining...​ ​ The Beanlings are merging into a single, massive, kaiju-like​ ​ monster. Its eyes lock on Joe and Beans atop the water tower.​ ​ The sheer size of it is overwhelming.​ ​ It lets out a deafening roar, blasting Joe and Beans off their​ ​ feet.​ ​ JOE AND BEANS​ ​ (screaming)​ ​ AAAAHhhhhhh!​ ​ Luckily, the boys grab onto the grated surface of the tower,​ ​ holding on for dear life. The Bean monster leans its weight​ ​ against the structure, tilting it perilously. Joe and Beans’​ ​ plant-themed tech is blown off of their backs, plummeting into​ ​ the chasm below. Beans’ pack manages to hook onto the tallest​ ​ point of the tower.​ ​ JOE​ ​ It’s trying to push over the tower!​ ​ Why?!​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (realising)​ ​ The-the last job on our to-do list! It was to “clean the​ ​ city”! It wants to flood the city to clean it!​
33. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 32​ ​ The monster lunges again, smashing the tower. A massive splash​ ​ of water cascades down, drenching the city below.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (shouting)​ ​ But that’s stupid!​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (shouting)​ ​ Well, why don’t you tell HIM that?!​ ​ The monster strikes again, sending one of the four support​ ​ beams crashing down.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (shouting)​ ​ Well, we have to stop it! One more​ ​ of those and we’re​​ all​​ gonna end up​ ​ fertilizer.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (shouting)​ ​ I just wish I could talk to him! We​ ​ get on! He’s like-​ ​ Beans pauses, an idea forming.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ He’s.. like me!​ ​ BEANS​ ​ HE’S LIKE ME JOE!​ ​ Beans scrambles to his feet, eyes fixed on his weed-whacker​ ​ pack dangling atop the tower. He grabs the cassette from the​ ​ floor and rushes toward the pack.​ ​ JOE​ ​ BEANS! What are you doing??​ ​ Beans climbs to the very top, now eye-level with the monster,​ ​ poised to strike the tower a final time.​
34. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 33​ ​ He opens his pack, pulls out a Walkman, and slips in his tape.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Graham, buddy. I know you’re in​ ​ there. I think you need-​ ​ The monster reels back for its final attack on the tower.​ ​ Beans presses play and holds the cassette player high toward​ ​ the sky.​ ​ BEANS (CONT’D)​ ​ -to CHILL OUT.​ ​ A ridiculously terrible, yet somewhat catchy reggae-soul cover​ ​ blasts from the Walkman. The Bean monster freezes mid-strike,​ ​ its frown slowly softening into a smile. It’s captivating:​ ​ Beans’ music speaks to him.​ ​ The camera zooms in: the Beanling starts vibing, tapping its​ ​ foot. On closer inspection, the individual Beanlings that make​ ​ up its body begin dancing in rhythm. Their joy spreads like a​ ​ virus, breaking down the giant monster. One by one, the​ ​ Beanlings pop off the monster, separating, returning to their​ ​ original forms.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (laughing)​ ​ They’re popping off. The Reggae​ ​ Soul is POPPING OFF!​ ​ The monster continues to shrink, and finally, when the music​ ​ fades, all that remains is Graham, seated atop the water​ ​ tower, with Joe and Beans beside him. The other Beanlings​ ​ disperse peacefully into the surrounding forest.​ ​ Joe and Beans sit on the rooftop, with Graham between them,​ ​ stunned. The three sit atop the water tower, watching, as the​ ​ sun sets over Sitty City.​
35. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 34​ ​ CUT TO:​ ​ INT. CUPPA MUD CAFE – NIGHT​ ​ Joe and Beans return to the cafe. They unlock the doors,​ ​ stumble inside, and collapse onto the floor.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ (knackered)​ ​ Urrrrrghhhh. What a day. How much​ ​ did we make?​ ​ Joe pulls a wad of cash from his back pocket and starts​ ​ counting.​ ​ JOE​ ​ Two, four, eight… Thirty-five quid.​ ​ Both let out a massive groan.​ ​ JOE AND BEANS​ ​ UUUUUUURGGGHHHH.​ ​ BEAT.​ ​ JOE​ ​ Did Frank say you could see Graham​ ​ whenever you wanted?​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Yeah, guess he kind of got that​ ​ assistant he always needed. And​ ​ LOOK!​ ​ Beans pulls two notes from his pocket and, using his tired,​ ​ noodle-like arms, waves them weakly in the air.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ AND he bought a cassette for​ ​ Graham, since it's his favourite​ ​ song now.​
36. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 35​ ​ JOE​ ​ Ayyyy you sold one! How much did​ ​ you make?​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Tenner.​ ​ JOE​ ​ Nice.​ ​ The boys lie on the floor, staring at the ceiling. Joe​ ​ playfully punches Beans lightly on the arm.​ ​ JOE​ ​ Proud of you man.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Thanks brother.​ ​ The two smile, and Joe jolts to his feet before any​ ​ accidental tears are shed.​ ​ JOE​ ​ I can’t believe we saved the city,​ ​ BY ACCIDENT. AGAIN. Why can’t the​ ​ jobs ever be, y’know - normal?​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Because this city is whack.​ ​ Joe walks over to a poster above the coffee machine. He​ ​ carefully peels the sellotape at the bottom and flips it​ ​ up, revealing a hand-drawn poster:​​ “ROAD TO FREEDOM”​​ with​ ​ a money metre tracking their progress. Beans gets up and​ ​ joins him.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ How close are we?​
37. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 36​ ​ Joe scribbles the money metre up £45, barely making a​ ​ dent.​ ​ JOE​ ​ We’ve got a lot to do before we can​ ​ buy this place off of Steve next​ ​ year.​ ​ They both look at the poster, then fold it back down.​ ​ BEANS​ ​ Ay, but you know what? There’s no​ ​ one I’d rather be doing it with.​ ​ JOE​ ​ (warmly)​ ​ Ay.​ ​ The boys share a quiet moment of joint appreciation and​ ​ exhaustion.​ ​ JOE​ ​ Let’s go home.​ ​ They head for the exit, only to be met by their boss,​ ​ Steve.​ ​ STEVE​ ​ Morning boys! Ready for another​ ​ exciting day of work?​ ​ Joe glances at the clock: 8 a.m., opening time. He and​ ​ Beans exchange a tired glance.​ ​ STEVE​ ​ We’ve got a lot of eager customers​ ​ already waiting. Why don’t you let​ ​ them in?​
38. ​ GROUND UP “3 Beans in a pod” D1 | 17/03/26​ ​ 37​ ​ Joe and Beans push open the front door, and hundreds of​ ​ Beanlings are revealed, standing there, smiling and awaiting​ ​ entry.​ ​ END​