Librarian Avengers Film Rating System

OSCON Ignite talk - Open source the film ratings! Learn what we really need to know!

Transcript

1. The Librarian Avengers Film Rating System Sunday, June 9, 13 My name is Erica Firment. I work for Second Life. I’m here at OSCON Ignite to present my pet project: The Librarian Avengers film rating system
2. “Rated R” doesn’t tell me what I need to know. Film Rating System Sunday, June 9, 13 Dear Film industry: Your metadata is not granular enough I need to know if a movie contains cannibalism, synthesizers, or Jim Carrey. Decapitated Human heads can roll across the screen
3. A Animal Gets Hurt Sunday, June 9, 13 but if a Golden Retriever gets a hurty paw you better warn me up front which is why this film has been rated A for An Animal gets HURT
4. B British Accent Faked by American Sunday, June 9, 13 A film will be rated B if a British Accent has been Faked by an American... People need a warning for that sort of thing. You know things are going to get bad when a little girl
5. C Creepy Child Singing Sunday, June 9, 13 starts pushing flowers around and singing quietly to herself. A film will be rated C if it contains a Creepy Child Singing (ahem: hand on forhead)
6. D Dialog Written by Committee Sunday, June 9, 13 Oh aspiring teen heart-throb, I am attracted to your emergent yet non-threatening sexuality Rated D for Dialog by Committee You know that scene where the actors run very fast
7. E Escape-in-front-of-a-fireball Sunday, June 9, 13 from some sort of physics phenomenon that approaches at exactly the speed they can run? Rated E for Escape in front of a fireball This scene is so accurate except for the surviving part
8. F Fun-filled Frolic for the Family Sunday, June 9, 13 If a review or worse the movie poster itself describes a “fun filled frolic for the whole family” Flee
9. G Grab my hand! Sunday, June 9, 13 Rated G. Oh no, he is falling off a building! Grab my hand! DONT LET GO!
10. H Heads chopped off/Hearts pulled out Sunday, June 9, 13 Rated H for Heads chopped off hearts pulled out A little warning before the monkey brains is all we ask
11. I Italian Stallion J Jim Carrey Sunday, June 9, 13 Does this film contain excessive amounts of Sylvester Stallone or Jim Carrey? Librarian Avengers have determined that it will be rated I or J.
12. K Keyboard hacks network in two clicks Sunday, June 9, 13 Rated K for Keyboard hacks the network in two clicks Did you know all space aliens use Mac peripheral drivers?
13. L Lead Actors involved in Real-Life Romance rendering film unwatchable M Motiveless Villain Sunday, June 9, 13 A film should be Rated L for Lead Actors involved in Real-Life Romance - this rarely bodes well, cinematically. Rated M for Motiveless Villain Hello! I AM EVIL! BECAUSE OF THE REASON!
14. N Natives Sunday, June 9, 13 Noble Savages? Nubian Racist Constructs? ...Rated N for Natives
15. O Overly Patriotic P Pacino Yelling Sunday, June 9, 13 If your eye-rolling is in any way disruptive to others, please note that this film has been Rated O for Overly Patriotic Rated P for Al Pacino Yelling....SKIPPING Q
16. R Remake of a Better Film S Scientific Content ≠ Reality Sunday, June 9, 13 Tempted by Tarentino? Try Kurosawa! Rated R for Remake of a Better Film Rated S for Scientific Content does not equal Reality ...Star trek gets a pass
17. T T&A Sunday, June 9, 13 T is for T&A If this film is intended as a star vehicle for >1 former Playboy models - we should know
18. U Un-ironic 80’s Soundtrack Sunday, June 9, 13 U is for Un-ironic 80’s soundtrack Oh, Ladyhawk. You are such a good movie with the sound turned off.
19. V Vehicle W Woody Allen as Romantic Lead X Xenu-Sponsored Script Sunday, June 9, 13 V is for Star Vehicle - Nick Cage needs a yacht payment W - Woody Allen as romantic lead X for XENU-sponsored script skipping Y and.... BIG REVEAL
20. Librarian Avengers.org Erica Firment Z ZOMBIES! YAY! Sunday, June 9, 13 Z is for ZOMBIES! YAY! THANKYOU. I’m Erica Firment and I run librarianavengers.org