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What the Fuck
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Patricia Jurkowski
April 20, 2026
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What the Fuck
Patricia Jurkowski
April 20, 2026
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Transcript
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Senior: Don't tell me you're still thinking about it.
Junior: what, you think I'm lying?
Junior: It is now day seven of that bird not
moving from that spot.
Junior: It is now day seven of that bird not
moving from that spot.
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Boss: Hey guys... I think they know something...
Goon 1: Aint no way they know about all of
them-
Goon 1: Aint no way they know about all of
them-
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Goon 2: Yeah, yeah! As long as they don't get
their hands on the tech, we're good, right?
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Boss: You idiots shut the hell up,
Boss: Suspicion is a ticking bomb. The fact they're looking
is already bad.
Boss: Fucking unbeliev-
Boss: Ay where'd she go?
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Junior: Wha-
Junior: Wha-
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Senior: After you.
Junior: Huh?
Junior: Ugh. Okay.
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Senior: Here, use these.
Junior: Gloves? Hell no! I didn't ask you to kill
it.
Senior: Its your hunch. Have some initiative.
Junior: No way!
Junior: What if I'm wrong and its just a bird?
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Boss: What the FUCK
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Goon 1: What, what??
Boss: They shot the camera down!
Boss: They shot the camera down! Goon 1: Are you
sure? That's extreme!
Boss: I KNOW calm down!
Boss: Let me switch to another.
Boss: Let me switch to another.
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Boss: Well SHIT!!
Goon 1: Oh god
Goon 1: Oh God OH GOD I CANT GO TO
JAIL!
Goon 1: EXPLODE IT EXPLODE IT Boss: HEY-
Goon 1: Blow that thing up what are you waiting
for! Boss: Get the HELL off!
Boss: Get a HOLD of yourself!
Boss: Stop before you mess something up you imbecile!
Goon 1: You're too SLOW old man!
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
[grumble and struggle noises]
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Boss: Look what you fucking did! I said you'd fuck
something up! Goon 1: If YOU hadn't knocked into ME-
Boss and Goon 1: [INCOHERENT SHOUTING]
Boss and Goon 1: [INCOHERENT SHOUTING]
Boss and Goon 1: [INCOHERENT SHOUTING]
Boss and Goon 1: [INCOHERENT SHOUTING]
Boss and Goon 1: [INCOHERENT SHOUTING] Goon 3: Its..
Boss and Goon 1: [INCOHERENT SHOUTING] Goon 3: ...everywhere...
Goon 3: ...OH GOD...I need air...
Goon 2: I NEED AIR I NEED AIR Boss: NO
NO! STOP! Goon 1: It's okay calm down!
Goon 2: IM SORRY! Goon 1: Calm down don't go
out there!
[muffled] Goon 2: ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
ew
[muffled] Goon 2: ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
ew
[muffled] Goon 2: ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
ew
Goon 2: Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
Goon 2: Ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew
Goon 2: EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW
Goon 1: You FUCKING idiot! You've fucked us!
Goon 2: Im sorry Im sorry! Goon 1: We're so
dead!
Goon 1: Why would you do that....
Boss: Don't ditch me you assholes!
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Both: What the fuck??