What they don't tell you about leadership

A talk given at CTO Craft Conf https://conference.ctocraft.com/november-2023/

Transcript

1. What they don’t tell you about
   engineering leadership
   

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2. What they don’t tell you about
   engineering leadership
   

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3. 1. A story about one of my own challenges
   2. Some communication theory
   3. Tools for more inclusive conversations
   

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4. 1. A story about one of my own challenges
   2. Some communication theory
   3. Tools for more inclusive conversations
   

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5. 1. A story about one of my own challenges
   2. Some communication theory
   3. Tools for more inclusive conversations
   

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6. Inbox Zero
   🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
   

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7. 🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
   🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
   

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8. 🎉 💪 Inbox Zero 👏 🎉
   🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
   

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9. 🏃
   🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
   

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10. 😃 🙂 😳 😱 🤬
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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11. 🤬 Inbox Zero 🥊
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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12. My responses were all…
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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13. Yes
    No
    7
    Tuesday
    5.30
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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14. Yes
    No
    7
    Tuesday
    5.30
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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15. Yes
    No
    7
    Tuesday
    5.30
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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16. Yes
    No
    7
    Tuesday
    5.30
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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17. Yes
    No
    7
    Tuesday
    5.30
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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18. What I saw as prompt and concise, is being
    perceived as blunt, and rude.
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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19. What I saw as prompt and concise, is being
    perceived as blunt, and rude.
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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20. What I saw as prompt and concise, is being
    perceived as blunt, and rude.
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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21. What I saw as unblocking
    was depriving the team of their own
    growth opportunities
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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22. What I saw as unblocking
    was depriving the team of their own
    growth opportunities
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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23. What I saw as unblocking
    was depriving the team of their own
    growth opportunities
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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24. What I saw as a offering a solution
    was preventing the team
    solving their own problem
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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25. What I saw as a offering a solution
    was preventing the team
    solving their own problem
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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26. What I saw as a offering a solution
    was preventing the team
    solving their own problem
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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27. What I saw as a question to answer was
    sometimes something else
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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28. What I saw as a question to answer was
    sometimes something else
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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29. What I saw as a question to answer was
    sometimes something else
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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30. In our rush to fix things, we might…
    1. Fix the wrong problem
    2. Do the work the team should be doing
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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31. In our rush to fix things, we might…
    1. Fix the wrong problem
    2. Do the work the team should be doing
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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32. In our rush to fix things, we might…
    1. Fix the wrong problem
    2. Do the work the team should be doing
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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33. In our rush to fix things, we might…
    1. Fix the wrong problem
    2. Do the work the team should be doing
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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34. Ask…
    Is there anything else?
    What’s the real challenge here for you?
    What would you like to do?
    How would you like me you to help?
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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35. Ask…
    Is there anything else?
    What’s the real challenge here for you?
    What would you like to do?
    How would you like me you to help?
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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36. Ask…
    Is there anything else?
    What’s the real challenge here for you?
    What would you like to do?
    How would you like me you to help?
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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37. Ask…
    Is there anything else?
    What’s the real challenge here for you?
    What would you like to do?
    How would you like me you to help?
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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38. Ask…
    Is there anything else?
    What’s the real challenge here for you?
    What would you like to do?
    How would you like me you to help?
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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39. Ask…
    Is there anything else?
    What’s the real challenge here for you?
    What would you like to do?
    How would you like me you to help?
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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40. Stay curious for longer.
    Find out the real problem.
    It might not be what is laid out initially.
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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41. Stay curious for longer.
    Find out the real problem.
    It might not be what is laid out initially.
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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42. Stay curious for longer.
    Find out the real problem.
    It might not be what is laid out initially.
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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43. Stay curious for longer.
    Find out the real problem.
    It might not be what is laid out initially.
    🎯 Inbox Zero 📈
    

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44. 1. A story about one of my own challenges ✅
    2. Some communication theory
    3. Tools for more inclusive conversations
    

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45. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it…
    

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46. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it…
    

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47. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it…
    

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48. We’re really sorry but the release will slip until
    next week 😢
    

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49. …
    We’re really sorry but the release will slip until
    next week 😢
    

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50. That’s fine
    We’re really sorry but the release will slip until
    next week 😢
    

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51. …
    We’re really sorry but the release will slip until
    next week 😢
    That’s fine
    

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52. We’re really sorry but the release will slip until
    next week 😢
    Hey, we’re working our backsides off to meet
    this deadline, this place, honestly! 🤬
    That’s fine
    

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53. We’re really sorry but the release will slip until
    next week 😢
    Hey, we’re working our backsides off to meet
    this deadline, this place, honestly! 🤬
    That’s fine
    …
    

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54. I meant that’s fine - we don’t need it until the
    following week.
    We’re really sorry but the release will slip until
    next week 😢
    Hey, we’re working our backsides off to meet
    this deadline, this place, honestly! 🤬
    That’s fine
    

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55. 😳
    

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56. Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 theory
    

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57. ⚠
    

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58. Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 theory
    7% - what is said
    

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59. That’s fine
    

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60. Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 theory
    7% - what is said
    38% - how it is said
    

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61. 👌 That’s fine
    

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62. 󰷹 That’s fine
    

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63. 🤬 That’s fine
    

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64. Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 theory
    7% - what is said
    38% - how it is said
    55% - body language
    

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65. 🤦 That’s fine
    

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66. 🤷 That’s fine
    

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67. 🧘 That’s fine
    

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68. Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 theory
    7% - what is said
    38% - how it is said
    55% - body language
    ✉
    
    
    

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69. 🤔
    

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70. In a world of Slack, Teams, Zoom etc…
    Communication is
    Words &
    Tone &
    Body language
    

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71. In a world of Slack, Teams, Zoom etc…
    Communication is
    Words &
    Tone &
    Body language
    

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72. In a world of Slack, Teams, Zoom etc…
    Communication is
    Words &
    Tone &
    Body language
    

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73. In a world of Slack, Teams, Zoom etc…
    Communication is
    Words &
    Tone &
    Body language
    

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74. 1. A story about one of my own challenges ✅
    2. Some communication theory ✅
    3. Tools for more inclusive conversations
    

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75. Bosses make people feel stressed.
    Leaders make people feel safe.
    - David L. Marquet
    

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76. Set expectations and behaviours
    

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77. Everyone is present
    We seek diversity of thought
    Define the openness
    Be honest
    Never make it personal
    Keep an open mind
    Set expectations and behaviours
    

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78. Everyone is present
    We seek diversity of thought
    Define the openness
    Be honest
    Never make it personal
    Keep an open mind
    Set expectations and behaviours
    

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79. Everyone is present
    We seek diversity of thought
    Define the openness
    Be honest
    Never make it personal
    Keep an open mind
    Set expectations and behaviours
    

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80. Everyone is present
    We seek diversity of thought
    Define the openness
    Be honest
    Never make it personal
    Keep an open mind
    Set expectations and behaviours
    

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81. Everyone is present
    We seek diversity of thought
    Define the openness
    Be honest
    Be constructive, and professional
    Keep an open mind
    Set expectations and behaviours
    

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82. Think 🤔
    Write📝
    Share 📣
    

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83. Think 🤔
    Just think, no writing for 1-2 minutes ⏲
    Think 🤔
    Write📝
    Share 📣
    

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84. Think 🤔
    Helps you to consider your best idea 💯
    not just the first idea 💡
    Think 🤔
    Write📝
    Share 📣
    

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85. Write📝
    Commit to paper your idea
    Think 🤔
    Write📝
    Share 📣
    

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86. Write📝
    Reduces conformity
    (what they said)
    Think 🤔
    Write📝
    Share 📣
    

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87. Write📝
    Improves listening
    (no need to be thinking of a response)
    Think 🤔
    Write📝
    Share 📣
    

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88. Share 📣
    Everyone shares, everyone has a voice
    Think 🤔
    Write📝
    Share 📣
    

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89. Everyone speaks once
    before anyone speaks twice 🤫
    

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90. Reduces interruption 🤐
    (one speaker at a time)
    Everyone speaks once
    before anyone speaks twice 🤫
    

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91. Improves active listening 👂
    (No need to find a space to interrupt)
    Everyone speaks once
    before anyone speaks twice 🤫
    

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92. Ensures everyone has a voice 📣
    (not just the most vocal, or most important)
    Everyone speaks once
    before anyone speaks twice 🤫
    

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93. 💡The more senior you are,
    the later your turn to speak.
    (This reduces anchor bias)
    Everyone speaks once
    before anyone speaks twice 🤫
    

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94. Fostering psychological safety
    through anonymity 🦸
    

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95. Using think-write-share, collect cards before
    sharing. Shuffle, distribute & read out
    (we can critique the idea, not the individual)
    Fostering psychological safety
    through anonymity 🦸
    

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96. ⚠ Promote the expected behaviours
    Fostering psychological safety
    through anonymity 🦸
    

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97. Leverage tools like Miro and Mural and their
    anonymous features to write virtual stickies
    Fostering psychological safety
    through anonymity 🦸
    

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98. Leverage tools like Miro and Mural for
    anonymous voting of items to seek wisdom
    of the crowd
    Fostering psychological safety
    through anonymity 🦸
    

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99. Also consider online question submission
    and polling tools like Menti and Google
    Forms if doing in person with physical cards.
    Fostering psychological safety
    through anonymity 🦸
    

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100. 1. A story about one of my own challenges ✅
     2. Some communication theory ✅
     3. Tools for more inclusive conversations ✅
     

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101. You have 👂👂 and 👄 and it’s best to use them
     in that proportion
     - Epictetus
     Ancient Greek stoic philosopher
     

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102. None of us is as smart as all of us.
     - Ken Blanchard
     

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103. Thanks 👋
     

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