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Strays - Cleaned Boards
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Sonia Lee
December 23, 2021
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Strays - Cleaned Boards
A mafia cat boss meets with an old friend, a dog who has stepped out of line.
Sonia Lee
December 23, 2021
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Transcript
None
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Calvin - *deep breath*
None
None
None
None
Sir - come on in. come on.
None
Sir - I’ve done a lot for ya, Calvin.
Calvin - yes sir, yes you have,
Calvin - and me and the pack are just so
grateful-
Sir - I got you something.
Calvin - oh?
SFX - gross, wet splat
None
Sir- thats for you.
None
Calvin - thank you sir. I really appreciate this. i
think it is so great, very delicious-
Sir- I killed it myself.
Calvin - oh wow.
Sir - yeah, i did. it was pretty difficult, I
would say.
Sir- I had to wait, very patiently. And I’m declawed
you know. so when I need things to go my way…. Zoom
Sir- I’ve gotta use my teeth.
Calvin - oh…. yes….I truly understand…
Sir- im not so sure you do, Calvin. I think
you’re lookin at things all wrong. see, you look at me and you see a little kitty fell upon hard times.
Sir - youre like the humans. you see a pet.
Calvin - a Pet?! no sir!! you know, i really
respect
Sir - you respect what Calvin? because it certainly isnt
me. I can tell that by how you and your mangy pack conduct yourselves.
Calvin - Im sorry sir???
Sir - we’ll see how sorry youll be. On my
streets, the strays work for thier food. we earn our life on this earth. we don’t get it handed to us.
Sir - you know why?
Calvin - I’m losing you, Sir.
Sir - Because we’re not pets! and i see that
as a gift! we have been spared the empty existence as a pet and have been given the gift of life as a real animal! a wild animal! do you feel like a wild animal??
Calvin - yes sir. I feel very empowered.
Sir - then why have i heard tell of you
and your pack BEGGING IN THE ALLEYWAYS OF EVERY ASIAN FUSION RESTAURANT IN TOWN?!!
Calvin - what?! im sorry sir, i just-
Sir - NO. BEGGING. IN. MY. STREETS. GET HIM BOYS!!
Sir - TAKE HIM OUT!
Calvin - sir please!
Calvin - sir, i can explain.. push out
Calvin - i.. i just need the chance
Calvin - to explain to you-
sir - You know what happens to animals who dont
deserve their place? push out
Sir - they lose it!! BG
Sir - to the bigger,
Sir - badder ..
Sir - WILDER-
SFX - cat toy bell jingle
None
None
None
SFX - more cat toy jingle
SFX - cats purring and meowing happliy
Sir - you idiots!! you kitty cats!!!
Sir - I said TAKE HIM OUT!!
Sir - HOW CAN YOU CALL YOURSELVES WILD ANIMALS!!
sir - APEX PREDATORS!!!
Sir - THIEVES OF THE NIGHT!!!!
Sir - YOU IMBECILES!
Sir- YOU PETS!!
Sir - YOU DOMESTICATED-
Sir - *heaves and coughs*
Sir - *coughing and choking*
None
None
None
None
None
SFX - snap!
sir - oh Calvin. thank you calvin. oh, my lives.
Sir - ive only got but so many left.
Calvin - yes sir.
Sir - you dogs are up a real creek. you’ve
only got the one.
Calvin - im afraid so, sir.
Sir - you know, that old mousie used to be
mine, way back in the old days when they used to call me…
Sir - now, what was it again… they called me…..
None
Calvin - sir fluffs alot.
Sir - Sir fluffs alot!! that was it!!
Sir - but these days, just sir will do. Calvin
- yes sir.
Sir - you know what calvin, I’m gonna let you
off this one last time. i like you, and i know dogs arent apex predators like we cats are, so im gonna let you off.
Sir - just. dont let me hera about it again,
ok?
Calvin - yes sir.
Calvin - you know, its awfully good, the asian fusion.
they have pork rolls, fried rice, shrimp dumplings, spice ramen-
Sir - quiet calvin. i said dont let me hear
about it.
Calvin - yes sir.
Sir - wait.
Sir - get me the shrimp.