Star Trek Enterprise Season 2

Transcript

1. Star Trek: Enterprise Season 2 Script Brainstorm “To go where no man has gone before” wait does that quote exist yet?.... Directed by people who did other Star Trek’s but literally gave no fucks about this. Sorry Bakula.
2. Act 1 •Ok yeah start with the same story as the end of last season 1 episode but this time it’s the end of that story. Lets wing a Vulcan back story that contradicts historical evidence. Include T’Pol, Daddy Berman likes T’Pol. •Also throw the Romulans in there for a few episodes but then switch over to another species •Edit: do the Kreetassans and do a funny “hey man we cant catch a break” thing haha
3. Act 2 • Literally meet about 5-10 different species in about 3 years crew time. Also remember Season 1 Act 2? Yeah were ramping this up. More decon. More T’pol. More rubbing. Daddy Berman likey. • Ease off of the great character development of T’Pol but ramp up the sexuality because I say so ok? Stop asking why. Berman angry. • I have plans for T’Pol she plays a very big role in my social commentary. But for now look at those decon shorts, and dare I say her Vulcan boobies. God how I love decon. I wonder who I can put in decon next. Maybe I can put all of them, and have like this you do me I do you back rubbing session. Or maybe more. Ill have to think about it. Anyway, the story yes…
4. Act 3 • Remember how we were developing Hoshi to be the inexperienced but committed team member that learns from her mistakes and slowly gains the trust of the more qualified crew around her? yeah we will be replacing that with making her suffer from a serious case of anxiety that inevitably annoys a crew who cant be honest about it because they are lightyears away from home. • Edit 1: Actually scratch that, lets just do an episode where she literally disappears and we can do a whole, you know, “miss me until im gone” thing also morse code saves the day because yeah people still know that. • Edit 2: Nevermind, lets do both. • Ah fuck wait do we have to do the Borg? Yeah lets do the Borg. Do some uhh Borg stuff. And then Phlox will be Borg. Well almost Borg but hell hear Borg. Borg is a person right? Or a thing? Whatever we need to do it.
5. Act 3 • Ok more Klingons and like weapons. Check. huh? I don’t know make them miners with like little forehead attenas that are hairy. Ok anyway. Vulcan and Andoria hatred. Check. Vulcan Conspiracy. Because why not. Check. More porthos because this shit will probably suck. Check. • Ok lets do like a camping episode! In the umm…uhhh the engine cover thingys. Check. More alien meetings, this time we cant talk to them. Check. Ok non-corporeal beings. Check. A corporal time travel war. Check. More Klingon stuff; • i.e: yeah Klingons are more advanced but like humans are good and moral and its been a long road you know. We got from there to here very slow. The Klingons got from there to here faster and yet theyre still like us thousands of years ago. So yeah, human not the best but still good.
6. Act 3 • Ok Tucker meets an alien who he cant talk to and has to use human creativity to get out of the situation. In the process Tucker uses Human empathy to see where this Alien is coming from. Even tho Tucker hates Vulcans with almost every bone in his body, he will still be empathetic to an alien he just met, who shot him out of the sky, and tried to kill him multiple times. Enslaving him in the process. But well make the planet hot, and this lizard thing wont be able to sweat. Like dogs you know? Haha porthos I love porthos. • ALSO this is a big one. Were ramping up the social commentary. Were doing a mindmeld/rape allegory with T’Pol and we can play on the whole you know victim doesn’t want to be honest but honest men convince her its safe thing. God were so progressive.
7. Act 3 • Ok Spam a bunch of aliens I forgot this was an inter species diplomacy series. Do ummmm make them lose tech in a world that’s like WW2 haha. • And Archer gets charged for a crime and tried in Klingon Court and like its not a fair trial because they know justice and we can do a whole Klingons are more advanced but like humans are good and moral and its been a long road you know. We got from there to here very slow. The Klingons got from there to here faster and yet theyre still like us thousands of years ago. So yeah, human not the best but still good. • But wait theres a Klingon that says they was justice, he also goes to jail for defending Archer its like reverse john adams and boston massacre I mean daddy bermans shit is deep. • The Klingon will probably die and the dream of reform with him
8. Act 3 You know what since we did the rape thing with “Stigma” how about we do the gender thing with Cogenitor. Yeah lets have Tucker try to “save” someone from identifying as a gender within a society he doesn’t understand. And then lets kill this person off through a suicide where the only message is that Tucker didn’t understand the intricacies of an alien species let alone the reality that a human society absent of discrimination or division is bound to have nonbinary gender identities by the year 2151. but anyway…. Get it? Like who cares about the gender thing, Tucker learned something today. He learned that there are two genders and that the flaw of that society was really withholding the ability to read. Ignorance of ones identity is ok. Ignorance of letters is unexcusable.
9. Act 3 You know what since we did the rape thing with “Stigma” how about we do the gender thing with Cogenitor. Yeah lets have Tucker try to “save” someone from identifying as a gender within a society he doesn’t understand. And then lets kill this person off through a suicide where the only message is that Tucker didn’t understand the intricacies of an alien species let alone the reality that a human society absent of discrimination or division is bound to have nonbinary gender identities by the year 2151. but anyway…. Get it? Like who cares about the gender thing, Tucker learned something today. He learned that there are two genders and that the flaw of that society was really withholding the ability to read. Ignorance of ones identity is ok. Ignorance of letters is unexcusable.
10. Act 3 • Ok were nearing the end. Another flashback where Capt Archer goes from square to a kinda square with like you know rounded edges, like hes by the book but hes not BY the book *wink wink* you know what im saying. • Also fuck it to be honest this has been on my mind for literally far too long. Like literally an entire year. Since the beginning of this year I have been planning for Episode 25 and 26. • Episode 25 has been on my mind nearly constantly. I want…ok are you ready? I want Capt Archer to be abducted. By who? Ohhh yeah that prison escape story we threw in yeah, a bounty for that by some random alien we also threw in this season.
11. Act 3 • ok this is the climax here…Dr. Phlox and T’Pol bring on a highly infectious microbe that requires them to not only Decon TWICE :) but they have to remain in decon for the whole episode. We can do a whole you know, Vulcan gets sick and gets angry thing. • Edit: We are 100% also making the microbe increase her sexual drive so we can have a horny T’Pol trying to fuck Dr. Phlox literally the whole episode. • We are also going to make her knock out Dr. Phlox because, you know girl power am I right, • but then immediately make her try to fuck Reed when shes faced with an obstacle she cant get past. • God, our social commentary is literally on fucking point this season. Berman out.
12. Act 3 • 2:53 PM: [Over Voicemail] Script Assistant: What about Episode 26? • Who tf is- ummm yeah Episode 26. hmmm Episode 26….episode…twenty…six. I don’t know just have some random ball spaceship appear over earth and have it shoot a laser from florida down to Virginia killing 7 million people • Then tie it into a personal trauma story with Tucker’s sister being in Florida
13. Act 3 • Final Edit From the Desk Of Richard Berman: • Hold off on killing Tucker’s sister in this disaster for the time being. Mr. Berman is brainstorming a possible character addition. Tuckers sister may join Starfleet. Its of paramount importance to Mr. Berman that we continue to innovate our Decon scenes. These are the centerpieces of this great Star Trek series and we must ensure a steady flow of observing material. • Thank you, • The Office of Richard Berman