The Hare and the Pineapple

Based on a story by Daniel Pinkwater, as seen in the 2012 8th Grade New York State English Language Assessment.

Transcript

7. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): Hey!
9. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): Hey, you!
10. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): Over there!
12. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): Yeah, you!
24. HARE: What do you
25. HARE: - want?
27. PINEAPPLE: I challenge--
28. HARE: What?
30. PINEAPPLE (a little louder): I challenge—
31. HARE: You gotta speak up, mate!
32. PINEAPPLE: I – ugh. Can--
33. PINEAPPLE: --can you come over here?
49. PINEAPPLE: I challenge you to a race.
51. [comedic zoom]
52. [comedic zoom]
54. HARE: Pffff
55. HARE: HAHAHA HAHA
56. HARE: HAHA HAHAHA
57. HARE: HAH AHAHA
58. HARE: heh heh
59. HARE: heh
62. HARE: You, a pineapple,
63. HARE: challenge me,
64. HARE: a hare,
65. HARE: to a race?
66. HARE (snickering)
67. HARE: You’ve got to be joking.
68. HARE: You’ve got to be joking.
69. PINEAPPLE: Nope
70. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): I want to race you.
71. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): I want to race you.
72. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): I want to race you.
73. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): Twenty-six miles,
74. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): Twenty-six miles,
75. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): Twenty-six miles,
76. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): Twenty-six miles,
77. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): and may the best animal win.
78. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): and may the best animal win.
79. PINEAPPLE (offscreen): and may the best animal win.
80. HARE: You’re not even
81. HARE: an animal!
82. HARE: You’re a tropical
83. HARE: fruit!
84. PINEAPPLE: Well, you know what I mean.
89. HARE: You’re on.
102. MOOSE: What do you make of that?
103. MOOSE: Why would a pineapple
104. MOOSE: ever want to race a hare?
105. MOOSE: Hare is the
106. MOOSE: fastest animal
107. MOOSE: in the forest!
108. SQUIRREL: It does seem very
109. SQUIRREL: strange to me.
115. MOOSE: The pineapple
116. MOOSE: must have some
117. MOOSE: trick up its sleeve.
118. OWL: Pineapples don’t have sleeves.
119. OWL: Pineapples don’t have sleeves.
121. MOOSE: Well,
122. MOOSE: you know what I mean.
123. MOOSE: If a pineapple
124. MOOSE: challenges a hare
125. MOOSE: to a race,
126. MOOSE: it must be
127. MOOSE: that the pineapple knows
128. MOOSE: some secret trick
129. MOOSE: that will allow it to win!
130. CROW: Yeah!
131. CROW: Yeah!
132. CROW: The pineapple probably expects us
133. CROW: to root for the Hare,
134. CROW: and then look like fools
135. CROW: when it loses!
136. CROW: Then the pineapple will win the race
137. CROW: because the Hare is
138. CROW (offscreen): overconfident and takes a nap,
139. CROW (offscreen): or gets lost, or something.
140. CROW (offscreen): I mean,
141. CROW (offscreen): you heard what happened
142. CROW (offscreen): with the tortoise
143. CROW (offscreen): in the next forest over.
145. SQUIRREL (offscreen): I bet you’re right.
146. SQUIRREL (offscreen): I bet you’re right.
147. SQUIRREL (offscreen): The pineapple must have some
148. SQUIRREL (offscreen): clever plan to assure a win.
150. SQUIRREL (offscreen): Let’s all cheer
151. SQUIRREL (offscreen): for the pineapple.
152. (animals make sounds of agreement)
157. HARE: Alright!
159. HARE: Twenty-six miles!
160. HARE: Down through the valley,
161. HARE: across the stream,
162. HARE: up the hill,
163. HARE: over beaver dam,
164. HARE: and back through wildflower meadow.
184. PINEAPPLE: On your mark,
185. PINEAPPLE: get set,
186. PINEAPPLE: GO!
194. ANIMALS: Yeah! Wooh! Go Pineapple!
195. ANIMALS: Yeah! Wooh! Go Pineapple!
196. ANIMALS: Let’s go! Pineapple rules!
197. ANIMALS: Let’s go! Pineapple rules!
198. ANIMALS: (cheering dies down)
199. ANIMALS: (cheering dies down)
222. SQUIRREL: AW
223. SQUIRREL: COME ON!
250. SQUIRREL: GAAHHH!!
258. SQUIRREL: You
259. SQUIRREL: TRICKED
260. SQUIRREL: US!
261. SQUIRREL: You made us
262. SQUIRREL: look like
263. SQUIRREL: IDIOTS!
265. CROW: What do you
266. CROW: have to say
267. CROW: for yourself?
270. MOOSE: It can’t get away with this!
271. MOOSE: The pineapple
272. MOOSE: should pay!
275. RACCOON: I’ve got an idea…
276. RACCOON: I’ve got an idea…
303. What??