Content Providers are a key architectural component for making Android apps work well and robustly. We'd like to use them, but we'd like to avoid writing and maintaining them. Hmm... Let's see if we can have it both ways. We'll look briefly at the purpose and implementation machinery of standard SQLite-backed content providers, and discover how -- even in the strongly typed Java world -- we can take a step toward a dynamic provider, gaining speed and fun while ditching code and bugs.