A guide to be a better person: How to care for introverts

• Four easy steps to guide you to understand and care for introverts the right way; You will be able to know the differences between introverts and extroverts; to know what shouldn't do and what you can do; the best way to approach them and you will have resources to keep learning;

* All the references are in the last slide.

Transcript

1. A guide to be a better coworker person: How to care for Introverts Emanuele Spies
2. 2 Step One Know the differences
3. Step One: Know the differences One major difference between the brains of introverts and extroverts is the way we respond to the neurotransmitter dopamine. *Dopamine is a chemical released in the brain that provides the motivation to seek external rewards like earning money, climbing the social ladder, attracting a mate, or getting selected for a high-profile project at work. It’s not that introverts have less dopamine present in their brains than extroverts do. In fact, both introverts and extroverts have the same amount of dopamine available. The difference is in the activity of the dopamine reward network. It is more active in the brains of extroverts than in the brains of introverts. Introverts prefer to use a different neurotransmitter called acetylcholine. Acetylcholine is also linked to pleasure; the difference is, acetylcholine makes us feel good when we turn inward.
4. 4 Step One: Know the differences Introversion and extroversion relate to where we get our energy from. Or in other words, how we recharge our brains: Introverts (or those of us with introverted tendencies) tend to recharge by spending time alone. They lose energy from being around people for long periods of time, particularly large crowds. Extroverts, on the other hand, gain energy from other people. Extroverts actually find their energy is sapped when they spend too much time alone. They recharge by being social.
5. 5 Step One: Know the differences Not every introvert is shy. Not every extrovert is obnoxious. Shy Introvert Extrovert Obnoxious People Make shy anxious or nervous Need to recharge afterwards Energizing Playthings Conversations Only when necessary Listen and encourage Engage and initiate Resolve around obnoxious Talking with strangers Cower Don’t encourage small talk Talk about anything with everyone Talk about obnoxious with everyone Silence in conversations Awkward Allows introvert to think about discussion Allows extrovert to think about discussion Doesn’t stand a chance against the obnoxious verbal onslaught Thoughts Shy hopes no one asks his/her opinion on anything Introvert likes to internalize his/her thoughts before sharing with others Extrovert likes to verbalize his/her thoughts and brainstorm Bypasses brain and goes directly out mouth Favorite punctuation ... , ! !!! ??? *#@%!
6. 6 Step Two Don’t force them to change
7. 7 Step Two: Don’t force them to change Introvert may become shy after continually receiving the message that there’s something wrong with him/her. Don’t go to them and say: – Why are you so quiet? – Get out of your head. You think too much – Spit it out – You should get out more – You’re not saying much. Are you okay? – If only you would come out of your shell If you don’t know what to say, you can try: – I like popcorn. How about you? – Hmm.. Cough, cough. (extended awkward silence) – So... How you doing? – I feel awkward. I don’t know what to talk about.
8. 8 Step Three Interact the right way
9. 9 Step Three: Interact the right way Just because someone is introverted doesn’t mean they don’t like company.
10. 10 Step Three: Interact the right way REMEMBER: – Respect personal space – Energy is limited – Don’t demand to have energy spent on you when it’s not particularly needed – Don’t take silence as an insult. It isn’t! – Introverts get lonely, too
11. 11 Step Three: Interact the right way How to lead introverts: – Let them think to speak – Give them time to make decisions – Respect their private nature – Appreciate their need to work alone – Carefully listen to them – Help them learn at their own pace – LET THEM SHINE
12. 12 Step Three: Interact the right way How to care for introverts: – Respect their need for privacy – Never embarrass them in public – Let them first observe in new situations – Give them time to think don’t demand instant answers – Don’t interrupt them – Give them advance notice of expected changes in their lives – Give them 15 minutes warnings to finish whatever they are doing – Reprimand them privately – Teach them new skills privately – Enable them to find one best friend who has similar interest & abilities – Don’t push them to make lots of friends – Respect their introversion. Don’t try to remake them into extroverts.
13. 13 Step Four Keep learning
14. 14 Step Four: Keep learning In a culture where being social and outgoing are prized above all else, it can be difficult, even shameful, to be an introvert. But, as Susan Cain argues in this passionate talk, introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world, and should be encouraged and celebrated.
15. 15 Step Four: Keep learning And how about you? http://www.danpink.com/assessment/
16. 16 References • http://www.quietrev.com/why-introverts-and-extroverts-are-different-the-science/ • http://www.fastcompany.com/3016031/leadership-now/are-you-an-introvert-or-an-extrovert-and-what-it-means-for- your-career • https://mindhacks.com/2013/07/22/what-makes-an-extravert/ • https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts?language=en • http://www.quietrev.com/are-you-shy-introverted-both-or-neither-and-why-does-it-matter/ • http://www.fastcocreate.com/1683402/your-guide-to-interacting-with-an-introvert • http://telek.biz/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/Leading-extroverts-vs-introverts-1024x727.png • http://a.fastcompany.net/multisite_files/fastcompany/imagecache/inline-large/inline/2013/08/3016031-inline-how-to- care.jpg & http://d.fastcompany.net/multisite_files/fastcompany/imagecache/inline-large/inline/2013/08/3016031-inline- how-to-care-for-extroverts.jpg • http://i.imgur.com/n71yazw.png • http://introvertspring.com/what-not-to-say-to-an-introvert/ • http://introvertdear.com/2016/01/18/things-you-shouldnt-say-to-introverts/