Ahoy!

Dialog ANYA (V.O.) The Seven Seas is no place for
the weak-hearted to travel...

Dialog ANYA (V.O.) ...There's Monsters from the depths of the
ocean...

Dialog FAKE MONSTER GRAWR!

Dialog ANYA (V.O.) ...Swashbucklers who'll take you for every coin
you've got...

Dialog FAKE PIRATE ARRR!

Dialog ANYA (V.O.) But all the terrors of these waters
combined...

Dialog ANYA (V.O.) Couldn't hold a candle to me...!

Dialog ANYA Anya, the most heroic pirate these islands will
know!

Dialog CESAR (V.O.) I'm going to have to cut your
monologue short today...

Dialog CESAR I can barely navigate this thing with you
posing dramatically in front of me.

Dialog ANYA Apologies first-mate Cesar!

Dialog ANYA I'm just antsy with excitement from my hat
down to my boots is all...

Dialog ANYA ...Because in the deepest, darkest corners of our
next journey, bountiful treasures await!

Dialog CESAR Treasures!?

Dialog CESAR We've been chased out of everywhere we docked...

Dialog CESAR The entire.

Dialog CESAR Past.

Dialog CESAR Week.

Dialog CESAR What makes this one different?

Dialog ANYA So what you're saying is... I suck major
barnacles as a captain?

Dialog CESAR Er... No Captain, let's check it out. I
trust your leadership.

Dialog ANYA Good, because we're about to crash. CESAR (YELLING)
WHAT?

Dialog ANYA AND CESAR (YELLING) AAAAAAAHHHH!

Dialog ??? (V.O.) Welcome evildoers...

Dialog LORD STOMATO To my humble abode!

Dialog BULLSHARK (WHISPERING) Is that a talking frog? THE FATHER
(MUMBLING) I think it's one of those new 'domesticated' dogs.

Dialog LORD STOMATO You may be wondering why I've summoned
two of the most sought criminals to this hidden island.

Dialog BULLSHARK Not really, we get called to this kind
of place all the time.

Dialog LORD STOMATO (YELLING) Quiet!

Dialog LORD STOMATO Now, down to business.

Dialog LORD STOMATO I require the delivery of this emerald
here, by any means necessary.

Dialog THE FATHER Oh yeah? What's in it for us?

Dialog LORD STOMATO (STRUGGLING) How does this bag of gold
sound? Urgh... BULLSHARK Do you... need a hand with that?

Dialog LORD STOMATO (ANGRY) No! Just take it.

Dialog LORD STOMATO (V.O.) Now, let me show you the
location you'll be traveling to.

Dialog LORD STOMATO (V.O.) Oh, and make sure there's no
witnesses.

Dialog CESAR (MUMBLING) No... I don't wanna be a pretty
princess... please..

Dialog CESAR (WAKING UP) Wha?

Dialog CESAR Hey, that belongs to the captain! Don't touch
it.

Dialog CHIEF HELPMATE Oh, we're just polishing it for her.

Dialog ANYA Cesar! Meet the 'Helpmates.' They pulled us from
the wreckage, and they're even fixing up the ship!

Dialog CESAR Wait, so you all just want to help
us?

Dialog RANDOM HELPMATE Yes! Us Helpmates live to assist. Do
you live by the mantra of cooperation as well?

Dialog CESAR'S FATHER Son, when someone tries to shame us
for being "wealthy" or "not paying our fair share in taxes," what do we do?

Dialog CESAR Kick them in their sorry rears? CESAR'S FATHER
That's my boy!

Dialog CESAR It's overrated.

Dialog ANYA ...Why yes, we'd love a tour of your
town. CESAR Hold on, when did I agree to any of this?

Dialog CHIEF HELPMATE (V.O) And last on our tour is
the shining achievement of everything we've worked for here.

Dialog CESAR What's that ugly looking gem at the top?

Dialog CHIEF HELPMATE (V.O.) A heavenly emerald washed onto our
shores recently, which we've commemorated our beautiful town with.

Dialog ANYA Mr. Helpmate. We're wondering if you have any,
say... treasures locked away in the deepest and darkest corners of your island? CHIEF HELPMATE Ah, I know the perfect place for that!

Dialog CESAR Well, he wasn't kidding about the 'darkest.'

Dialog CHIEF HELPMATE Perhaps I overdid it.

Dialog CHIEF HELPMATE But there is the most valuable treasure
ever brought to us... the fabled Seaturkey!

Dialog CESAR (APPROACHING) What the heck is that? ANYA Cesar,
hold on...

Dialog CESAR (SCREAMING) AAAAHHHHH!

Dialog SEATURKEY (SCREAMING) SCRAAAAGOBBLEGOBBLEGOBBLE

Dialog CESAR (SCREAMING) BACK UP! BACK U-

Dialog CESAR (SCREAMING) GETITOFFMEGETITOFFME

Dialog CESAR (SCREAMING) AAAAAAHHHH

Dialog ANYA Aww, They're getting along so well! SEATURKEY The
Seaturkey has bonded for life with him, so it makes sense.

Dialog THE FATHER Alright, where's the emerald?

Dialog RANDOM HELPMATE (WHIMPERING) I-It's in the Clocktower, believe me.
Just don't blow up my house!

Dialog BULLSHARK Don't worry lil' guy, we believe you.

Dialog BULLSHARK But...

Dialog BULLSHARK I feel like blowing up your house anyway.

Dialog RANDOM HELPMATE (CRYING) Nooo! I just paid off my
mortgage by selling a rabid bird! (SOBS)

Dialog ANYA (YELLING) Hey you two! Unhand him or I'll
be forced to dispense some pirate justice!

Dialog BULLSHARK Relax! We're just swinging by to grab the
only thing worth a penny around here.

Dialog ANYA Hah! Sorry to burst your bubble, but the
Seaturkey has already bonded with my first-mate!

Dialog THE FATHER (V.O.) What? We just want the emerald.

Dialog CESAR (SOBBING)

Dialog ANYA In retrospect, that makes a lot of sense.

Dialog BULLSHARK Sorry little lady, it got boring watching your
sideshow.

Dialog ANYA (WAKING UP) Wha? Did we win?

Dialog CESAR Nope.

Dialog CESAR We did not.

Dialog ANYA (SIGHING) Alright, fine. just say it. I suck
major barnacle as a captain, let alone a pirate.

Dialog ANYA I'm just... a sideshow.

Dialog CESAR Oh, stuff it. ANYA Hey!

Dialog CESAR We'll figure this out, Anya. Like I said,
I trust you as my Captain. Always have.

Dialog ANYA I'll hold you to that...

Dialog CESAR (SCREAMING) OWWWWWWW!

Dialog CESAR (SCREAMING) I take it back! I don't trust
you! I don't trust yo-

Dialog ANYA AND CESAR (SCREAMING) AAAAAARGH!

Dialog CESAR (PANTING) I think I've officially become ornithophobic.

Dialog ANYA Now, down to business! You 'help the Helpmates',
I'll protect the emerald.

Dialog CESAR (PANTING) Sure. Don't process that we're being terrorized
by a freakish bird. Whatever.

Dialog RANDOM HELPMATE Hey pirate lady!

Dialog RANDOM HELPMATE I finished cleaning you swor-

Dialog RANDOM HELPMATE What the heck is going on over
there?!

Dialog RANDOM HELPMATE Huh?

Dialog BULLSHARK (PANTING) Huff.. huff..

Dialog BULLSHARK I'm always the one doing the climbing while
he gets to blow up the island...

Dialog ANYA End of the line, evildoer!

Dialog BULLSHARK Yup, I'm definitely not getting paid enough-

Dialog CESAR -for this.

Dialog CESAR (ANGRY) Will you all please, just...

Dialog CESAR (YELLING) LISTEN TO ME!

Comments RANDOM HELPMATES (SILENCE, COUGHING)

Dialog CESAR Look, I've hated every single second I've spent
on this island.

Dialog CESAR But I can respect your "mantra of cooperation."
And with invaders at your doorstep...

Dialog CESAR Let's use that junk to kick them in
their sorry rears!

Dialog RANDOM HELPMATE #1 (ANGRY) He's right! RANDOM HELPMATE #2
(ANGRY) We can finally channel our repressed thoughts into something concrete!

Dialog THE FATHER (MUTTERING) I'm always the one blowing up
the island instead of climbing some ladders...

Dialog THE FATHER Huh?

Dialog CROWD OF HELPMATES (YELLING) Charge!

Dialog THE FATHER What the-

Dialog THE FATHER (YELLING) HEAAAAAAARGH!

Dialog THE FATHER (STRUGGLING) How's this happening!? You're supposed to
be helpful, not painful!

Dialog CESAR That would be thanks to my brand of
cooperation.

Dialog CESAR (SCREAMING) WAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Dialog THE FATHER What the..

Dialog THE FATHER (SCREAMING) I surrender! I surrende-

Dialog ANYA End of the line, evildoer!

Dialog BULLSHARK (MUTTERING) This is the last time I take
a job from a talking dog.

Dialog BULLSHARK (YELLING) Oh come on! You're going to keep
parrying me, like a coward?

Dialog ANYA (V.O.) You should look down.

Dialog BULLSHARK (DIZZY) Well... if you insist... I'll take a
peek...

Dialog ANYA Hah! Who's the sideshow now?

Dialog ANYA Oh good, he's still moving.

Dialog BULLSHARK You're taking the bottom bunk in our cell
this time.

Dialog CHIEF HELPMATE I can't thank you enough! I'm sure
these scoundrel's gold is more than enough to cover your troubles.

Dialog ANYA No problem Chief! Glad you and the Helpmates
learned the power of helping yourselves.

Dialog ANYA Can we keep her!? CESAR I'm not sure
I have a choice.

Dialog LORD STOMATO No! No! How could this happen?

Dialog LORD STOMATO Oh.. oh no.

Dialog GRAND ELDER Stomato. Have you failed to procure the
emerald?

Dialog LORD STOMATO (STAMMERING) W-Well you see, my liege... There
was some complicatio-

Dialog GRAND ELDER (YELLING) SILENCE!

Dialog GRAND ELDER I rose you from the primordial soup
and bestowed your powers. Continue to fail me and I can just as easily remove them

Dialog LORD STOMATO Who. Are. These.

Dialog LORD STOMATO (YELLING) Pirates!?

Ahoy!

Ahoy!

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