In September 1991, two German tourists — hiking the Ötztal Alps on the Austrian-Italian border — uncovered a mummified man who had died there over 5,300 years ago. This talk will explore the significance of this discovery as it relates to the history of human social evolution, what this tells us about our innate drive towards trade and collaboration, why this makes the web humanity's most exciting prospect, and why our charge of designing it is 100% completely and totally awesome.