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Times I should've realized I was Autistic

Times I should've realized I was Autistic

Illy realized during her childhood that throughout her symptoms, she is autistic.

John Hudson
PRO

May 12, 2022
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  1. Scene
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    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 1/167

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  2. Scene
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    ILLY VO: Back when I was 11, I was on this weekend retreat kinda thing for church?
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 2/167

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  3. Scene
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    ILLY VO: Back when I was 11, I was on this weekend retreat kinda thing for church?
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 3/167

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  4. Scene
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    ILLY VO: Back when I was 11, I was on this weekend retreat kinda thing for church?
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 4/167

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  5. Scene
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    ILLY VO: Back when I was 11, I was on this weekend retreat kinda thing for church?
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 5/167

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  6. Scene
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    ILLY: But I didn’t have many close friends in my youth group – cuz they found me weird and didn’t like interacting with me.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 6/167

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  7. Scene
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    ILLY: But I didn’t have many close friends in my youth group – cuz they found me weird and didn’t like interacting with me.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 7/167

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  8. Scene
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    ILLY: But I didn’t have many close friends in my youth group – cuz they found me weird and didn’t like interacting with me.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 8/167

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  9. Scene
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    ILLY: But I didn’t have many close friends in my youth group – cuz they found me weird and didn’t like interacting with me.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 9/167

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  10. Scene
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    I also didn’t have many friends in school, in fact, I was getting bullied for unknown reasons–
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 10/167

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  11. Scene
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    I also didn’t have many friends in school, in fact, I was getting bullied for unknown reasons–
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 11/167

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  12. Scene
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    I also didn’t have many friends in school, in fact, I was getting bullied for unknown reasons–
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 12/167

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    I also didn’t have many friends in school, in fact, I was getting bullied for unknown reasons–
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 13/167

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    I also didn’t have many friends in school, in fact, I was getting bullied for unknown reasons–
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 14/167

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    I also didn’t have many friends in school, in fact, I was getting bullied for unknown reasons–
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 15/167

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  16. Scene
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    I also didn’t have many friends in school, in fact, I was getting bullied for unknown reasons–
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 16/167

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  17. Scene
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    oh. Wow. Okay. Point is,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 17/167

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  18. Scene
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    ILLY VO: I didn’t know how to interact with people properly, but I knew mimicking how others interacted with me kinda worked!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 18/167

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  19. Scene
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    ILLY VO: I didn’t know how to interact with people properly, but I knew mimicking how others interacted with me kinda worked!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 19/167

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  20. Scene
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    ILLY VO: I didn’t know how to interact with people properly, but I knew mimicking how others interacted with me kinda worked!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 20/167

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  21. Scene
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    ILLY VO: I didn’t know how to interact with people properly, but I knew mimicking how others interacted with me kinda worked!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 21/167

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  22. Scene
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    ILLY VO: I didn’t know how to interact with people properly, but I knew mimicking how others interacted with me kinda worked!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 22/167

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  23. Scene
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    ILLY VO: I didn’t know how to interact with people properly, but I knew mimicking how others interacted with me kinda worked!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 23/167

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  24. Scene
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    ILLY VO: I didn’t know how to interact with people properly, but I knew mimicking how others interacted with me kinda worked!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 24/167

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    ILLY VO: I didn’t know how to interact with people properly, but I knew mimicking how others interacted with me kinda worked!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 25/167

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  26. Scene
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    ILLY VO: I didn’t know how to interact with people properly, but I knew mimicking how others interacted with me kinda worked!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 26/167

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  29. Scene
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    ILLY VO: I didn’t know how to interact with people properly, but I knew mimicking how others interacted with me kinda worked!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 29/167

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  30. Scene
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    ILLY VO: I didn’t know how to interact with people properly, but I knew mimicking how others interacted with me kinda worked!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 30/167

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  31. Scene
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    ILLY VO: I didn’t know how to interact with people properly, but I knew mimicking how others interacted with me kinda worked!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 31/167

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  32. Scene
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    IILLY VO: So we get to the lake with the giant cross in the middle,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 32/167

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  33. Scene
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    ILLY VO: So we get to the lake with the giant cross in the middle,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 33/167

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    ILLY VO: So we get to the lake with the giant cross in the middle,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 34/167

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  35. Scene
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    ILLY VO: We get out of the van, and this one kid grabs his bags and says
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 35/167

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  36. Scene
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    ILLY VO: We get out of the van, and this one kid grabs his bags and says
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 36/167

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    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 37/167

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  38. Scene
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    ILLY VO: We get out of the van, and this one kid grabs his bags and says
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 38/167

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  39. Scene
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    ILLY VO: We get out of the van, and this one kid grabs his bags and says
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 39/167

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  40. Scene
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    ILLY VO: We get out of the van, and this one kid grabs his bags and says
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 40/167

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    ILLY VO: We get out of the van, and this one kid grabs his bags and says
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 41/167

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    ILLY VO: We get out of the van, and this one kid grabs his bags and says
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 42/167

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  43. Scene
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    Dialog
    KID: I CAN’T WAIT TO GET INSIDE!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 43/167

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  44. Scene
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    KID: I CAN’T WAIT TO GET INSIDE!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 44/167

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  45. Scene
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    KID: I CAN’T WAIT TO GET INSIDE!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 45/167

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  46. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY VO: and RUNS ahead of us. (illy smirks w a good idea) So I, mimicking the kinds of things that worked for other kids, decided to say:
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 46/167

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  47. Scene
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    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 47/167

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  48. Scene
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    ILLY VO: and RUNS ahead of us. (illy smirks w a good idea) So I, mimicking the kinds of things that worked for other kids, decided to say:
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 48/167

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  49. Scene
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    ILLY VO: and RUNS ahead of us. (illy smirks w a good idea) So I, mimicking the kinds of things that worked for other kids, decided to say:
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 49/167

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  50. Scene
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    ILLY VO: and RUNS ahead of us. (illy smirks w a good idea) So I, mimicking the kinds of things that worked for other kids, decided to say:
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 50/167

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  51. Scene
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    ILLY VO: and RUNS ahead of us. (illy smirks w a good idea) So I, mimicking the kinds of things that worked for other kids, decided to say:
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 51/167

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  52. Scene
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    ILLY VO: and RUNS ahead of us. (illy smirks w a good idea) So I, mimicking the kinds of things that worked for other kids, decided to say:
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 52/167

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  53. Scene
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    ILLY: So, yeah. I didn’t understand why being myself wasn’t allowed or why copying other people wasn’t working, I tried…
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 53/167

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  54. Scene
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    ILLY: So, yeah. I didn’t understand why being myself wasn’t allowed or why copying other people wasn’t working, I tried…
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 54/167

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  55. Scene
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    ILLY: So, yeah. I didn’t understand why being myself wasn’t allowed or why copying other people wasn’t working, I tried…
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 55/167

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  56. Scene
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    ILLY (CONTINUED): doing… nothing. I did my best to quiet my brain and hide the person I was. Which was SOOOO EASY!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 56/167

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  57. Scene
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    ILLY (CONTINUED): doing… nothing. I did my best to quiet my brain and hide the person I was. Which was SOOOO EASY!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 57/167

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  61. Scene
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    ILLY (CONTINUED): doing… nothing. I did my best to quiet my brain and hide the person I was. Which was SOOOO EASY!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 61/167

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  62. Scene
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    ILLY (CONTINUED): doing… nothing. I did my best to quiet my brain and hide the person I was. Which was SOOOO EASY!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 62/167

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  65. Scene
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    ILLY (CONTINUED): doing… nothing. I did my best to quiet my brain and hide the person I was. Which was SOOOO EASY!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 65/167

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  66. Scene
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    ILLY (CONTINUED): doing… nothing. I did my best to quiet my brain and hide the person I was. Which was SOOOO EASY!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 66/167

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  67. Scene
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    ILLY (CONTINUED): doing… nothing. I did my best to quiet my brain and hide the person I was. Which was SOOOO EASY!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 67/167

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  68. Scene
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    ILLY (CONTINUED): doing… nothing. I did my best to quiet my brain and hide the person I was. Which was SOOOO EASY!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 68/167

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    ILLY (CONTINUED): doing… nothing. I did my best to quiet my brain and hide the person I was. Which was SOOOO EASY!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 69/167

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  70. Scene
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    Stranger: Oh phew, that’s good to hear!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 70/167

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    Stranger: Oh phew, that’s good to hear!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 71/167

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  72. Scene
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    ILLY: oh no no no… I was being sarcastic.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 72/167

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  73. Scene
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    ILLY: oh no no no… I was being sarcastic.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 73/167

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    ILLY: oh no no no… I was being sarcastic.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 74/167

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    Stranger: Oh :c
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 75/167

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    Stranger: Aw man :/
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 77/167

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    ILLY: It’s okay. Dry humor and sarcasm sometimes goes over my head and right into my fragile heart, too.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 78/167

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  79. Scene
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    ILLY: It’s okay. Dry humor and sarcasm sometimes goes over my head and right into my fragile heart, too.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 79/167

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  80. Scene
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    ILLY: (sneaky giggle) he hehe ehehehh
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 80/167

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  81. Scene
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    ILLY: (sneaky giggle) he hehe ehehehh
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 81/167

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    ILLY: (sneaky giggle) he hehe ehehehh
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 82/167

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    ILLY: (sneaky giggle) he hehe ehehehh
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 83/167

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  84. Scene
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    ILLY: (sneaky giggle) he hehe ehehehh
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 84/167

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  85. Scene
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    ILLY: (sneaky giggle) he hehe ehehehh
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 85/167

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  86. Scene
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    ILLY: (sneaky giggle) he hehe ehehehh
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 86/167

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  87. Scene
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    ILLY: (sneaky giggle) he hehe ehehehh
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    ILLY: (sneaky giggle) he hehe ehehehh
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    ILLY: (sneaky giggle) he hehe ehehehh
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  93. Scene
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    FRIEND (over headphones): Dude did you just destroy my bed
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 93/167

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  94. Scene
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    ILLY: Hheheheheheheh yes
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 94/167

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  95. Scene
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    FRIEND: (laughs) god I hate you
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 95/167

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  96. Scene
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    ILLY: wh-? You mean it?
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 96/167

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  97. Scene
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    FRIEND: What-? No! No, I was joking.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 97/167

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  98. Scene
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    FRIEND: What-? No! No, I was joking.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 98/167

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  99. Scene
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    ILLY: why would you joke about that
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 99/167

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  100. Scene
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    FRIEND: because - it’s - well, now if I explain it it’s not funny anymore
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 100/167

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  101. Scene
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    FRIEND: because - it’s - well, now if I explain it it’s not funny anymore
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 101/167

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  102. Scene
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    FRIEND: because - it’s - well, now if I explain it it’s not funny anymore
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 102/167

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  103. Scene
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    ILLY: it wasn’t that funny to begin with
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 103/167

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    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 104/167

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    Dialog
    FRIEND: DUDE-h
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 105/167

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  106. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY VO: So yeah, all my life, I’ve felt my brain was shaped like a bean, but everyone else’s was shaped like…
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 106/167

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  107. Scene
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    ILLY VO: So yeah, all my life, I’ve felt my brain was shaped like a bean, but everyone else’s was shaped like…
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 107/167

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  108. Scene
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    ILLY VO: So yeah, all my life, I’ve felt my brain was shaped like a bean, but everyone else’s was shaped like…
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 108/167

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  109. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY VO: So yeah, all my life, I’ve felt my brain was shaped like a bean, but everyone else’s was shaped like…
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 109/167

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  110. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY: like a legume, which… I think is … different…
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 110/167

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  111. Scene
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    ILLY: like a legume, which… I think is … different…
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 111/167

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  112. Scene
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    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 112/167

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  113. Scene
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    Dialog
    Ok yeah–
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 113/167

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  114. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY: yeah! This world was made for tough nuts, and I am a squishy little chickpea.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 114/167

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  115. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY: yeah! This world was made for tough nuts, and I am a squishy little chickpea.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 115/167

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  116. Scene
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    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 116/167

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    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 117/167

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  118. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY: yeah! This world was made for tough nuts, and I am a squishy little chickpea.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 118/167

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  119. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY VO: And sometimes I could swing it, tossing my garbanzos into recipes and hoping things worked out,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 119/167

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  120. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY VO: And sometimes I could swing it, tossing my garbanzos into recipes and hoping things worked out,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 120/167

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  121. Scene
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    ILLY VO: And sometimes I could swing it, tossing my garbanzos into recipes and hoping things worked out,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 121/167

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  122. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY VO: And sometimes I could swing it, tossing my garbanzos into recipes and hoping things worked out,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 122/167

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  123. Scene
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    Duration
    01:10
    Dialog
    ILLY VO: And sometimes I could swing it, tossing my garbanzos into recipes and hoping things worked out,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 123/167

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  124. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY VO: but sometimes, I couldn’t, because I can’t!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 124/167

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  125. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY VO: but sometimes, I couldn’t, because I can’t!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 125/167

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  126. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY VO: but sometimes, I couldn’t, because I can’t!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 126/167

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  127. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY VO: but sometimes, I couldn’t, because I can’t!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 127/167

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  128. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY: How would you feel if you bit into [pulls out candy from pocket, other kids are like ! candy?] your Reese’s cup and found out it was
    a fucking [breaks it to reveal beans spilling] BEAN CUP?!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 128/167

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  129. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY: How would you feel if you bit into [pulls out candy from pocket, other kids are like ! candy?] your Reese’s cup and found out it was
    a fucking [breaks it to reveal beans spilling] BEAN CUP?!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 129/167

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  130. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY: How would you feel if you bit into [pulls out candy from pocket, other kids are like ! candy?] your Reese’s cup and found out it was
    a fucking [breaks it to reveal beans spilling] BEAN CUP?!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 130/167

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  131. Scene
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    Duration
    00:07
    Dialog
    ILLY: How would you feel if you bit into [pulls out candy from pocket, other kids are like ! candy?] your Reese’s cup and found out it was
    a fucking [breaks it to reveal beans spilling] BEAN CUP?!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 131/167

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  132. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY: How would you feel if you bit into [pulls out candy from pocket, other kids are like ! candy?] your Reese’s cup and found out it was
    a fucking [breaks it to reveal beans spilling] BEAN CUP?!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 132/167

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  133. Scene
    51
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY: You gonna get mad at the beans?! Do you really think they want to be there?
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 133/167

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  134. Scene
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    ILLY: You gonna get mad at the beans?! Do you really think they want to be there?
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 134/167

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  135. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY: Look at them! This –
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 135/167

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  136. Scene
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    Duration
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    Dialog
    ILLY: Look at them! This –
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 136/167

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  137. Scene
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    Duration
    00:01
    Dialog
    ILLY: this is what hell looks like. I would know.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 137/167

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  138. Scene
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    ILLY: this is what hell looks like. I would know.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 138/167

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  139. Scene
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    ILLY: this is what hell looks like. I would know.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 139/167

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  140. Scene
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    ILLY: this is what hell looks like. I would know.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 140/167

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  141. Scene
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    ILLY: this is what hell looks like. I would know.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 141/167

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  142. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY: this is what hell looks like. I would know.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 142/167

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  143. Scene
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    Duration
    01:16
    Dialog
    ILLY: Cuz no matter what I do differently or how hard I try, [picks up a reeses cup] this is my brain! And this is how it works… fuckin…
    [cracks it open] bean cup.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 143/167

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  144. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY: Cuz no matter what I do differently or how hard I try, [picks up a reeses cup] this is my brain! And this is how it works… fuckin…
    [cracks it open] bean cup.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 144/167

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  145. Scene
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    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 145/167

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    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 146/167

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    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 147/167

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  148. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY: Cuz no matter what I do differently or how hard I try, [picks up a reeses cup] this is my brain! And this is how it works… fuckin…
    [cracks it open] bean cup.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 148/167

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  149. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY: Cuz no matter what I do differently or how hard I try, [picks up a reeses cup] this is my brain! And this is how it works… fuckin…
    [cracks it open] bean cup.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 149/167

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  150. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY: Cuz no matter what I do differently or how hard I try, [picks up a reeses cup] this is my brain! And this is how it works… fuckin…
    [cracks it open] bean cup.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 150/167

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  151. Scene
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    Dialog
    ILLY VO: So… Life can really suck if you’re atypical!
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 151/167

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  152. Scene
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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 152/167

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  153. Scene
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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 153/167

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  154. Scene
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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 154/167

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  155. Scene
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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 155/167

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    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 156/167

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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 157/167

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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 158/167

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  159. Scene
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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 159/167

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  160. Scene
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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 160/167

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  161. Scene
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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 161/167

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  162. Scene
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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 162/167

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  163. Scene
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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 163/167

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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 164/167

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  165. Scene
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    ILLY VO: People look at you weird, treat you differently, infantalize you, ignore you, take advantage of you, hurt you. However,
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 165/167

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  166. Scene
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    ILLY: Something important I should point out is, there’s nothing “wrong” with me or anyone who is neurodivergent, no matter where they
    are on the spectrum or how you perceive them.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 166/167

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  167. Scene
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    ILLY: Something important I should point out is, there’s nothing “wrong” with me or anyone who is neurodivergent, no matter where they
    are on the spectrum or how you perceive them.
    Times I should've realized I was autistic Page 167/167

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