Death by Daycare (Rough Boards)

Transcript

1. Scene 1 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE (O.S.) Dude, I swear to God if I have to here you talk about Weezer for another second- Death by Daycare Page 1/155
2. Scene 2 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE Dude, I’m talking about The Strokes. Death by Daycare Page 2/155
3. Scene 2 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 3/155
4. Scene 2 Panel 3 Dialog KYLE Yeah more like… uhhhhh, umm more like the Jokes. Death by Daycare Page 4/155
5. Scene 2 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 5/155
6. Scene 3 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE (aggressively unamused)Good one. Death by Daycare Page 6/155
7. Scene 3 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 7/155
8. Scene 3 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 8/155
9. Scene 4 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Got your ass. Death by Daycare Page 9/155
10. Scene 4 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 10/155
11. Scene 5 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 11/155
12. Scene 5 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 12/155
13. Scene 5 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 13/155
14. Scene 5 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 14/155
15. Scene 6 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 15/155
16. Scene 6 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE What do you want, man? Death by Daycare Page 16/155
17. Scene 6 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 17/155
18. Scene 6 Panel 4 Dialog JAMIE Dude! We’ve gotta be professional or something. Death by Daycare Page 18/155
19. Scene 6 Panel 5 Dialog KYLE Dude, this is a gas station! Shadowy figure over here doesn't give a shit! Death by Daycare Page 19/155
20. Scene 6 Panel 6 Death by Daycare Page 20/155
21. Scene 6 Panel 7 Dialog KYLE Oh, shit. Death by Daycare Page 21/155
22. Scene 7 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 22/155
23. Scene 8 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Is this cause I wasn’t like professional or something? Is it cause I said shit? Death by Daycare Page 23/155
24. Scene 8 Panel 2 Dialog Shit I said it again. Death by Daycare Page 24/155
25. Scene 8 Panel 3 Dialog SHIT! Death by Daycare Page 25/155
26. Scene 8 Panel 4 Dialog JAMIE DUDE, SHUT UP! Death by Daycare Page 26/155
27. Scene 8 Panel 5 Death by Daycare Page 27/155
28. Scene 9 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 28/155
29. Scene 9 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 29/155
30. Scene 10 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 30/155
31. Scene 11 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 31/155
32. Scene 12 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 32/155
33. Scene 12 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE SHIT I CURSED IN FRONT OF BABIES! Death by Daycare Page 33/155
34. Scene 12 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE DUDE! Death by Daycare Page 34/155
35. Scene 13 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 35/155
36. Scene 13 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 36/155
37. Scene 13 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 37/155
38. Scene 13 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 38/155
39. Scene 14 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 39/155
40. Scene 14 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 40/155
41. Scene 14 Panel 3 Dialog TOMMY Bill, help me establish a perimeter. Death by Daycare Page 41/155
42. Scene 14 Panel 4 Dialog TOMMY Philbert, Death by Daycare Page 42/155
43. Scene 15 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY make sure these freaks don’t pull anything funny. Death by Daycare Page 43/155
44. Scene 15 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 44/155
45. Scene 16 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 45/155
46. Scene 16 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 46/155
47. Scene 16 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 47/155
48. Scene 16 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 48/155
49. Scene 17 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 49/155
50. Scene 17 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE Dude, I bet I can take them. Death by Daycare Page 50/155
51. Scene 17 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Are you serious right now, dude? Death by Daycare Page 51/155
52. Scene 17 Panel 4 Dialog KYLE They’re babies! Death by Daycare Page 52/155
53. Scene 17 Panel 5 Dialog JAMIE WITH GUNS, KYLE! BABIES WITH GUNS! Death by Daycare Page 53/155
54. Scene 18 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT You are aware that I can hear everything you’re saying. Death by Daycare Page 54/155
55. Scene 19 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 55/155
56. Scene 19 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 56/155
57. Scene 20 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 57/155
58. Scene 20 Panel 2 Dialog BILL You got a cigarette? Death by Daycare Page 58/155
59. Scene 21 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 59/155
60. Scene 21 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE Dude! Death by Daycare Page 60/155
61. Scene 21 Panel 3 Dialog KYLE What? Does it look like we’re in a position to argue with these guys?! Death by Daycare Page 61/155
62. Scene 21 Panel 4 Dialog JAMIE You can’t give them cigarettes! They’re babies! Death by Daycare Page 62/155
63. Scene 21 Panel 5 Dialog KYLE With guns, Jamie! WITH GUNS Death by Daycare Page 63/155
64. Scene 21 Panel 6 Death by Daycare Page 64/155
65. Scene 21 Panel 7 Dialog JAMIE Sigh Death by Daycare Page 65/155
66. Scene 21 Panel 8 Dialog JAMIE *sigh* I swear if these babies don’t kill you then I will. Death by Daycare Page 66/155
67. Scene 22 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE (V.O.) There’s gotta be a way to get past these babies. Death by Daycare Page 67/155
68. Scene 22 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE (V.O.) Let me think. Death by Daycare Page 68/155
69. Scene 22 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 69/155
70. Scene 23 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE Holy crap! Is that an application for the Gerber Life® grow up plan?! Give your child a headstart for just pennies a day! Death by Daycare Page 70/155
71. Scene 23 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT Where?! Death by Daycare Page 71/155
72. Scene 24 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 72/155
73. Scene 24 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 73/155
74. Scene 25 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT Nice try, but that commercial is addressed to parents and grandparents of young children. Death by Daycare Page 74/155
75. Scene 25 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT I AM the young child! Death by Daycare Page 75/155
76. Scene 26 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Oh but you’re so very capable, Death by Daycare Page 76/155
77. Scene 26 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE for such a young little dude. Death by Daycare Page 77/155
78. Scene 26 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Kyle? Death by Daycare Page 78/155
79. Scene 27 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT Do not patronize me, degenerate. Death by Daycare Page 79/155
80. Scene 28 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Oh no no, No parallelograms here my friend. Death by Daycare Page 80/155
81. Scene 28 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE Kyle, what are you doing? Death by Daycare Page 81/155
82. Scene 28 Panel 3 Dialog KYLE We were just wondering what such strong, independent, and capable babies are doing here, holding up our rinky dink gas station. Death by Daycare Page 82/155
83. Scene 29 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT Heh, it’s not so simple. Death by Daycare Page 83/155
84. Scene 29 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT You wouldn’t understand. Death by Daycare Page 84/155
85. Scene 30 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Try me, brochacho. Death by Daycare Page 85/155
86. Scene 31 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT Well… you see. Life isn’t all that easy for us babies. Death by Daycare Page 86/155
87. Scene 31 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT Always held up in our cages, Death by Daycare Page 87/155
88. Scene 31 Panel 3 Dialog PHILBERT confined to our restrictive seats. Death by Daycare Page 88/155
89. Scene 31 Panel 4 Dialog PHILBERT Mommy and Daddy won’t let us stick the forks in those fascinating sad faces placed about the walls, Death by Daycare Page 89/155
90. Scene 31 Panel 5 Dialog PHILBERT or go into the cabinet with all the cool looking colorful beverages. Death by Daycare Page 90/155
91. Scene 32 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE I hear ya, brother Death by Daycare Page 91/155
92. Scene 32 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE What is happening? Death by Daycare Page 92/155
93. Scene 33 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT But the worst offense of all is the baseless drivel we are forced to watch. Those senseless shapes and colors. Death by Daycare Page 93/155
94. Scene 33 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT It’s demeaning! Death by Daycare Page 94/155
95. Scene 34 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Amen. Death by Daycare Page 95/155
96. Scene 35 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT So Tommy, my eldest of kin, made a plan. Death by Daycare Page 96/155
97. Scene 35 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT We broke out, stole Daddy’s overcoat and fedora, and made a B-Line to the theater. Death by Daycare Page 97/155
98. Scene 35 Panel 3 Dialog PHILBERT To finally see a coveted PG-13 movie! Death by Daycare Page 98/155
99. Scene 35 Panel 4 Dialog PHILBERT Of course Bill then pointed we would be needing some snackies to quell our appetites during the picture show- Death by Daycare Page 99/155
100. Scene 35 Panel 5 Dialog BILL (O.S.) And cigarettes Death by Daycare Page 100/155
101. Scene 35 Panel 6 Dialog PHILBERT Haha yes and cigarettes, classic Bill. Death by Daycare Page 101/155
102. Scene 35 Panel 7 Dialog PHILBERT So we decided to rob this here gas station on our way to the theater and dare to do what no baby has ever done before- Death by Daycare Page 102/155
103. Scene 36 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT See a PG-13 Movie, unsupervised! Death by Daycare Page 103/155
104. Scene 37 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 104/155
105. Scene 37 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT Dangit. Death by Daycare Page 105/155
106. Scene 1 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE Just unlock it! KYLE I-I don’t remember my password. [...] Death by Daycare Page 106/155
107. Scene 2 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE What do you mean you don’t remember your password?! Death by Daycare Page 107/155
108. Scene 2 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE I always just use my face! Death by Daycare Page 108/155
109. Scene 2 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Well then use your face, dipshit! Death by Daycare Page 109/155
110. Scene 2 Panel 4 Dialog KYLE I can’t! My face always clenches up when I’m nervous! My phone doesn't recognize it! Death by Daycare Page 110/155
111. Scene 3 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY Open up boys, we’re not gonna hurt you. Death by Daycare Page 111/155
112. Scene 4 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE That’s a lie! They have a gun, those are like supposed to hurt people. Death by Daycare Page 112/155
113. Scene 4 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE Dude! Just use the emergency call function. KYLE Oh yeah. Death by Daycare Page 113/155
114. Scene 5 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY I’m gonna give you boys to the count of three to open this door up. Death by Daycare Page 114/155
115. Scene 6 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE C’MON C’MON! Death by Daycare Page 115/155
116. Scene 7 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY One… Death by Daycare Page 116/155
117. Scene 8 Panel 1 Dialog OPERATOR 911, what’s your emergency? Death by Daycare Page 117/155
118. Scene 8 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE Hello! Babies are holding up our gas station! Death by Daycare Page 118/155
119. Scene 9 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY Two… Death by Daycare Page 119/155
120. Scene 10 Panel 1 Dialog OPERATOR Sir, prank calling this line is a serious offense. Death by Daycare Page 120/155
121. Scene 10 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE It’s not a prank, I swear! Death by Daycare Page 121/155
122. Scene 10 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Why’d you have to mention the babies, dude?! Death by Daycare Page 122/155
123. Scene 11 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY Three! Death by Daycare Page 123/155
124. Scene 11 Panel 2 Dialog Death by Daycare Page 124/155
125. Scene 12 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 125/155
126. Scene 12 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 126/155
127. Scene 13 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 127/155
128. Scene 14 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE NOOOO, my entire net worth!! Death by Daycare Page 128/155
129. Scene 15 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 129/155
130. Scene 16 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY End of the line boys. You may have been able to outwit Philbert, but there’s no getting passed me. Death by Daycare Page 130/155
131. Scene 16 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT (sadly and melodramatically) They appealed to my emotions. They made me feel heard! Death by Daycare Page 131/155
132. Scene 16 Panel 3 Dialog TOMMY Can it, Philbert!... Death by Daycare Page 132/155
133. Scene 16 Panel 4 Dialog TOMMY Now which one of you wants to go first Death by Daycare Page 133/155
134. Scene 16 Panel 5 Dialog car is heard from offscreen Death by Daycare Page 134/155
135. Scene 16 Panel 6 Dialog TOMMY Oh Shit! Death by Daycare Page 135/155
136. Scene 16 Panel 7 Dialog TOMMY We better skedaddle boys! Death by Daycare Page 136/155
137. Scene 17 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 137/155
138. Scene 17 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 138/155
139. Scene 17 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 139/155
140. Scene 18 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 140/155
141. Scene 18 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 141/155
142. Scene 18 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 142/155
143. Scene 19 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 143/155
144. Scene 19 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE You know, I bet you taught them that word. Death by Daycare Page 144/155
145. Scene 19 Panel 3 Dialog KYLE Skedaddle? Death by Daycare Page 145/155
146. Scene 19 Panel 4 Dialog JAMIE No, “shit” you idiot! Death by Daycare Page 146/155
147. Scene 19 Panel 5 Dialog KYLE Oh… Death by Daycare Page 147/155
148. Scene 19 Panel 6 Dialog KYLE Yeah probably Death by Daycare Page 148/155
149. Scene 1 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 149/155
150. Scene 1 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE So what were you saying about Weezer? Death by Daycare Page 150/155
151. Scene 1 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Dude, for the last time I was talking about- Death by Daycare Page 151/155
152. Scene 1 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 152/155
153. Scene 2 Panel 1 Dialog TEENAGE GIRL (FRANTICALLY) Have you seen three babies? One has the face of a middle aged man, another sorta looks like a peanut and the third looks like he hasn’t slept in 5 months! I’m supposed to be babysitting them, their parents are gonna kill me! Death by Daycare Page 153/155
154. Scene 3 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 154/155
155. Scene 3 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE Haven’t seen ‘em. KYLE No clue. Death by Daycare Page 155/155