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Death by Daycare (Rough Boards)
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Joseph Faustino
July 29, 2022
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Death by Daycare (Rough Boards)
Joseph Faustino
July 29, 2022
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Transcript
Scene 1 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE (O.S.) Dude, I swear
to God if I have to here you talk about Weezer for another second- Death by Daycare Page 1/155
Scene 2 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE Dude, I’m talking about
The Strokes. Death by Daycare Page 2/155
Scene 2 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 3/155
Scene 2 Panel 3 Dialog KYLE Yeah more like… uhhhhh,
umm more like the Jokes. Death by Daycare Page 4/155
Scene 2 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 5/155
Scene 3 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE (aggressively unamused)Good one. Death
by Daycare Page 6/155
Scene 3 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 7/155
Scene 3 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 8/155
Scene 4 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Got your ass. Death
by Daycare Page 9/155
Scene 4 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 10/155
Scene 5 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 11/155
Scene 5 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 12/155
Scene 5 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 13/155
Scene 5 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 14/155
Scene 6 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 15/155
Scene 6 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE What do you want,
man? Death by Daycare Page 16/155
Scene 6 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 17/155
Scene 6 Panel 4 Dialog JAMIE Dude! We’ve gotta be
professional or something. Death by Daycare Page 18/155
Scene 6 Panel 5 Dialog KYLE Dude, this is a
gas station! Shadowy figure over here doesn't give a shit! Death by Daycare Page 19/155
Scene 6 Panel 6 Death by Daycare Page 20/155
Scene 6 Panel 7 Dialog KYLE Oh, shit. Death by
Daycare Page 21/155
Scene 7 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 22/155
Scene 8 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Is this cause I
wasn’t like professional or something? Is it cause I said shit? Death by Daycare Page 23/155
Scene 8 Panel 2 Dialog Shit I said it again.
Death by Daycare Page 24/155
Scene 8 Panel 3 Dialog SHIT! Death by Daycare Page
25/155
Scene 8 Panel 4 Dialog JAMIE DUDE, SHUT UP! Death
by Daycare Page 26/155
Scene 8 Panel 5 Death by Daycare Page 27/155
Scene 9 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 28/155
Scene 9 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 29/155
Scene 10 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 30/155
Scene 11 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 31/155
Scene 12 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 32/155
Scene 12 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE SHIT I CURSED IN
FRONT OF BABIES! Death by Daycare Page 33/155
Scene 12 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE DUDE! Death by Daycare
Page 34/155
Scene 13 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 35/155
Scene 13 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 36/155
Scene 13 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 37/155
Scene 13 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 38/155
Scene 14 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 39/155
Scene 14 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 40/155
Scene 14 Panel 3 Dialog TOMMY Bill, help me establish
a perimeter. Death by Daycare Page 41/155
Scene 14 Panel 4 Dialog TOMMY Philbert, Death by Daycare
Page 42/155
Scene 15 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY make sure these freaks
don’t pull anything funny. Death by Daycare Page 43/155
Scene 15 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 44/155
Scene 16 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 45/155
Scene 16 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 46/155
Scene 16 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 47/155
Scene 16 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 48/155
Scene 17 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 49/155
Scene 17 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE Dude, I bet I
can take them. Death by Daycare Page 50/155
Scene 17 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Are you serious right
now, dude? Death by Daycare Page 51/155
Scene 17 Panel 4 Dialog KYLE They’re babies! Death by
Daycare Page 52/155
Scene 17 Panel 5 Dialog JAMIE WITH GUNS, KYLE! BABIES
WITH GUNS! Death by Daycare Page 53/155
Scene 18 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT You are aware that
I can hear everything you’re saying. Death by Daycare Page 54/155
Scene 19 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 55/155
Scene 19 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 56/155
Scene 20 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 57/155
Scene 20 Panel 2 Dialog BILL You got a cigarette?
Death by Daycare Page 58/155
Scene 21 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 59/155
Scene 21 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE Dude! Death by Daycare
Page 60/155
Scene 21 Panel 3 Dialog KYLE What? Does it look
like we’re in a position to argue with these guys?! Death by Daycare Page 61/155
Scene 21 Panel 4 Dialog JAMIE You can’t give them
cigarettes! They’re babies! Death by Daycare Page 62/155
Scene 21 Panel 5 Dialog KYLE With guns, Jamie! WITH
GUNS Death by Daycare Page 63/155
Scene 21 Panel 6 Death by Daycare Page 64/155
Scene 21 Panel 7 Dialog JAMIE Sigh Death by Daycare
Page 65/155
Scene 21 Panel 8 Dialog JAMIE *sigh* I swear if
these babies don’t kill you then I will. Death by Daycare Page 66/155
Scene 22 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE (V.O.) There’s gotta be
a way to get past these babies. Death by Daycare Page 67/155
Scene 22 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE (V.O.) Let me think.
Death by Daycare Page 68/155
Scene 22 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 69/155
Scene 23 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE Holy crap! Is that
an application for the Gerber Life® grow up plan?! Give your child a headstart for just pennies a day! Death by Daycare Page 70/155
Scene 23 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT Where?! Death by Daycare
Page 71/155
Scene 24 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 72/155
Scene 24 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 73/155
Scene 25 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT Nice try, but that
commercial is addressed to parents and grandparents of young children. Death by Daycare Page 74/155
Scene 25 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT I AM the young
child! Death by Daycare Page 75/155
Scene 26 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Oh but you’re so
very capable, Death by Daycare Page 76/155
Scene 26 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE for such a young
little dude. Death by Daycare Page 77/155
Scene 26 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Kyle? Death by Daycare
Page 78/155
Scene 27 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT Do not patronize me,
degenerate. Death by Daycare Page 79/155
Scene 28 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Oh no no, No
parallelograms here my friend. Death by Daycare Page 80/155
Scene 28 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE Kyle, what are you
doing? Death by Daycare Page 81/155
Scene 28 Panel 3 Dialog KYLE We were just wondering
what such strong, independent, and capable babies are doing here, holding up our rinky dink gas station. Death by Daycare Page 82/155
Scene 29 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT Heh, it’s not so
simple. Death by Daycare Page 83/155
Scene 29 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT You wouldn’t understand. Death
by Daycare Page 84/155
Scene 30 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Try me, brochacho. Death
by Daycare Page 85/155
Scene 31 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT Well… you see. Life
isn’t all that easy for us babies. Death by Daycare Page 86/155
Scene 31 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT Always held up in
our cages, Death by Daycare Page 87/155
Scene 31 Panel 3 Dialog PHILBERT confined to our restrictive
seats. Death by Daycare Page 88/155
Scene 31 Panel 4 Dialog PHILBERT Mommy and Daddy won’t
let us stick the forks in those fascinating sad faces placed about the walls, Death by Daycare Page 89/155
Scene 31 Panel 5 Dialog PHILBERT or go into the
cabinet with all the cool looking colorful beverages. Death by Daycare Page 90/155
Scene 32 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE I hear ya, brother
Death by Daycare Page 91/155
Scene 32 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE What is happening? Death
by Daycare Page 92/155
Scene 33 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT But the worst offense
of all is the baseless drivel we are forced to watch. Those senseless shapes and colors. Death by Daycare Page 93/155
Scene 33 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT It’s demeaning! Death by
Daycare Page 94/155
Scene 34 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Amen. Death by Daycare
Page 95/155
Scene 35 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT So Tommy, my eldest
of kin, made a plan. Death by Daycare Page 96/155
Scene 35 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT We broke out, stole
Daddy’s overcoat and fedora, and made a B-Line to the theater. Death by Daycare Page 97/155
Scene 35 Panel 3 Dialog PHILBERT To finally see a
coveted PG-13 movie! Death by Daycare Page 98/155
Scene 35 Panel 4 Dialog PHILBERT Of course Bill then
pointed we would be needing some snackies to quell our appetites during the picture show- Death by Daycare Page 99/155
Scene 35 Panel 5 Dialog BILL (O.S.) And cigarettes Death
by Daycare Page 100/155
Scene 35 Panel 6 Dialog PHILBERT Haha yes and cigarettes,
classic Bill. Death by Daycare Page 101/155
Scene 35 Panel 7 Dialog PHILBERT So we decided to
rob this here gas station on our way to the theater and dare to do what no baby has ever done before- Death by Daycare Page 102/155
Scene 36 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT See a PG-13 Movie,
unsupervised! Death by Daycare Page 103/155
Scene 37 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 104/155
Scene 37 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT Dangit. Death by Daycare
Page 105/155
Scene 1 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE Just unlock it! KYLE
I-I don’t remember my password. [...] Death by Daycare Page 106/155
Scene 2 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE What do you mean
you don’t remember your password?! Death by Daycare Page 107/155
Scene 2 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE I always just use
my face! Death by Daycare Page 108/155
Scene 2 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Well then use your
face, dipshit! Death by Daycare Page 109/155
Scene 2 Panel 4 Dialog KYLE I can’t! My face
always clenches up when I’m nervous! My phone doesn't recognize it! Death by Daycare Page 110/155
Scene 3 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY Open up boys, we’re
not gonna hurt you. Death by Daycare Page 111/155
Scene 4 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE That’s a lie! They
have a gun, those are like supposed to hurt people. Death by Daycare Page 112/155
Scene 4 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE Dude! Just use the
emergency call function. KYLE Oh yeah. Death by Daycare Page 113/155
Scene 5 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY I’m gonna give you
boys to the count of three to open this door up. Death by Daycare Page 114/155
Scene 6 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE C’MON C’MON! Death by
Daycare Page 115/155
Scene 7 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY One… Death by Daycare
Page 116/155
Scene 8 Panel 1 Dialog OPERATOR 911, what’s your emergency?
Death by Daycare Page 117/155
Scene 8 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE Hello! Babies are holding
up our gas station! Death by Daycare Page 118/155
Scene 9 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY Two… Death by Daycare
Page 119/155
Scene 10 Panel 1 Dialog OPERATOR Sir, prank calling this
line is a serious offense. Death by Daycare Page 120/155
Scene 10 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE It’s not a prank,
I swear! Death by Daycare Page 121/155
Scene 10 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Why’d you have to
mention the babies, dude?! Death by Daycare Page 122/155
Scene 11 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY Three! Death by Daycare
Page 123/155
Scene 11 Panel 2 Dialog Death by Daycare Page 124/155
Scene 12 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 125/155
Scene 12 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 126/155
Scene 13 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 127/155
Scene 14 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE NOOOO, my entire net
worth!! Death by Daycare Page 128/155
Scene 15 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 129/155
Scene 16 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY End of the line
boys. You may have been able to outwit Philbert, but there’s no getting passed me. Death by Daycare Page 130/155
Scene 16 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT (sadly and melodramatically) They
appealed to my emotions. They made me feel heard! Death by Daycare Page 131/155
Scene 16 Panel 3 Dialog TOMMY Can it, Philbert!... Death
by Daycare Page 132/155
Scene 16 Panel 4 Dialog TOMMY Now which one of
you wants to go first Death by Daycare Page 133/155
Scene 16 Panel 5 Dialog car is heard from offscreen
Death by Daycare Page 134/155
Scene 16 Panel 6 Dialog TOMMY Oh Shit! Death by
Daycare Page 135/155
Scene 16 Panel 7 Dialog TOMMY We better skedaddle boys!
Death by Daycare Page 136/155
Scene 17 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 137/155
Scene 17 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 138/155
Scene 17 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 139/155
Scene 18 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 140/155
Scene 18 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 141/155
Scene 18 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 142/155
Scene 19 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 143/155
Scene 19 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE You know, I bet
you taught them that word. Death by Daycare Page 144/155
Scene 19 Panel 3 Dialog KYLE Skedaddle? Death by Daycare
Page 145/155
Scene 19 Panel 4 Dialog JAMIE No, “shit” you idiot!
Death by Daycare Page 146/155
Scene 19 Panel 5 Dialog KYLE Oh… Death by Daycare
Page 147/155
Scene 19 Panel 6 Dialog KYLE Yeah probably Death by
Daycare Page 148/155
Scene 1 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 149/155
Scene 1 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE So what were you
saying about Weezer? Death by Daycare Page 150/155
Scene 1 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Dude, for the last
time I was talking about- Death by Daycare Page 151/155
Scene 1 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 152/155
Scene 2 Panel 1 Dialog TEENAGE GIRL (FRANTICALLY) Have you
seen three babies? One has the face of a middle aged man, another sorta looks like a peanut and the third looks like he hasn’t slept in 5 months! I’m supposed to be babysitting them, their parents are gonna kill me! Death by Daycare Page 153/155
Scene 3 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 154/155
Scene 3 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE Haven’t seen ‘em. KYLE
No clue. Death by Daycare Page 155/155