Death by Daycare (Rough Boards)

Transcript

1. Scene
   1
   Panel
   1
   Dialog
   KYLE (O.S.)
   Dude, I swear to God if I have to here you talk about Weezer for another second-
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2. Scene
   2
   Panel
   1
   Dialog
   JAMIE
   Dude, I’m talking about The Strokes.
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3. Scene
   2
   Panel
   2
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4. Scene
   2
   Panel
   3
   Dialog
   KYLE
   Yeah more like… uhhhhh, umm more like the Jokes.
   Death by Daycare Page 4/155
   

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5. Scene
   2
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   4
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6. Scene
   3
   Panel
   1
   Dialog
   JAMIE
   (aggressively unamused)Good one.
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7. Scene
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   2
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8. Scene
   3
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   3
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9. Scene
   4
   Panel
   1
   Dialog
   KYLE
   Got your ass.
   Death by Daycare Page 9/155
   

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10. Scene
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    2
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11. Scene
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12. Scene
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13. Scene
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14. Scene
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    4
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15. Scene
    6
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    1
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16. Scene
    6
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    KYLE
    What do you want, man?
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17. Scene
    6
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    3
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18. Scene
    6
    Panel
    4
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    Dude! We’ve gotta be professional or something.
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19. Scene
    6
    Panel
    5
    Dialog
    KYLE
    Dude, this is a gas station! Shadowy figure over here doesn't give a shit!
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20. Scene
    6
    Panel
    6
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21. Scene
    6
    Panel
    7
    Dialog
    KYLE
    Oh, shit.
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22. Scene
    7
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    1
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23. Scene
    8
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    KYLE
    Is this cause I wasn’t like professional or something? Is it cause I said shit?
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24. Scene
    8
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    Shit I said it again.
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25. Scene
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    3
    Dialog
    SHIT!
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26. Scene
    8
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    4
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    DUDE, SHUT UP!
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27. Scene
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    5
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28. Scene
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29. Scene
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30. Scene
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31. Scene
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32. Scene
    12
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    1
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33. Scene
    12
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    KYLE
    SHIT I CURSED IN FRONT OF BABIES!
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34. Scene
    12
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    3
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    DUDE!
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35. Scene
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36. Scene
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    2
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37. Scene
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    3
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38. Scene
    13
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    4
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39. Scene
    14
    Panel
    1
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40. Scene
    14
    Panel
    2
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41. Scene
    14
    Panel
    3
    Dialog
    TOMMY
    Bill, help me establish a perimeter.
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42. Scene
    14
    Panel
    4
    Dialog
    TOMMY
    Philbert,
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43. Scene
    15
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    TOMMY
    make sure these freaks don’t pull anything funny.
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44. Scene
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    2
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45. Scene
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46. Scene
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47. Scene
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48. Scene
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49. Scene
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50. Scene
    17
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    2
    Dialog
    KYLE
    Dude, I bet I can take them.
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51. Scene
    17
    Panel
    3
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    Are you serious right now, dude?
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52. Scene
    17
    Panel
    4
    Dialog
    KYLE
    They’re babies!
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53. Scene
    17
    Panel
    5
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    WITH GUNS, KYLE! BABIES WITH GUNS!
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54. Scene
    18
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    You are aware that I can hear everything you’re saying.
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55. Scene
    19
    Panel
    1
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56. Scene
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57. Scene
    20
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58. Scene
    20
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    BILL
    You got a cigarette?
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59. Scene
    21
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    1
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60. Scene
    21
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    2
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    Dude!
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61. Scene
    21
    Panel
    3
    Dialog
    KYLE
    What? Does it look like we’re in a position to argue with these guys?!
    Death by Daycare Page 61/155
    

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62. Scene
    21
    Panel
    4
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    You can’t give them cigarettes! They’re babies!
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63. Scene
    21
    Panel
    5
    Dialog
    KYLE
    With guns, Jamie! WITH GUNS
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64. Scene
    21
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    6
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65. Scene
    21
    Panel
    7
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    Sigh
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66. Scene
    21
    Panel
    8
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    *sigh* I swear if these babies don’t kill you then I will.
    Death by Daycare Page 66/155
    

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67. Scene
    22
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    JAMIE (V.O.)
    There’s gotta be a way to get past these babies.
    Death by Daycare Page 67/155
    

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68. Scene
    22
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    JAMIE (V.O.)
    Let me think.
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69. Scene
    22
    Panel
    3
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70. Scene
    23
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    Holy crap! Is that an application for the Gerber Life® grow up plan?! Give your child a headstart for just pennies a day!
    Death by Daycare Page 70/155
    

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71. Scene
    23
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    Where?!
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72. Scene
    24
    Panel
    1
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73. Scene
    24
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    2
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74. Scene
    25
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    Nice try, but that commercial is addressed to parents and grandparents of young children.
    Death by Daycare Page 74/155
    

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75. Scene
    25
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    I AM the young child!
    Death by Daycare Page 75/155
    

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76. Scene
    26
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    KYLE
    Oh but you’re so very capable,
    Death by Daycare Page 76/155
    

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77. Scene
    26
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    KYLE
    for such a young little dude.
    Death by Daycare Page 77/155
    

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78. Scene
    26
    Panel
    3
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    Kyle?
    Death by Daycare Page 78/155
    

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79. Scene
    27
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    Do not patronize me, degenerate.
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80. Scene
    28
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    KYLE
    Oh no no, No parallelograms here my friend.
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81. Scene
    28
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    Kyle, what are you doing?
    Death by Daycare Page 81/155
    

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82. Scene
    28
    Panel
    3
    Dialog
    KYLE
    We were just wondering what such strong, independent, and capable babies are doing here, holding up our rinky dink gas station.
    Death by Daycare Page 82/155
    

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83. Scene
    29
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    Heh, it’s not so simple.
    Death by Daycare Page 83/155
    

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84. Scene
    29
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    You wouldn’t understand.
    Death by Daycare Page 84/155
    

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85. Scene
    30
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    KYLE
    Try me, brochacho.
    Death by Daycare Page 85/155
    

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86. Scene
    31
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    Well… you see. Life isn’t all that easy for us babies.
    Death by Daycare Page 86/155
    

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87. Scene
    31
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    Always held up in our cages,
    Death by Daycare Page 87/155
    

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88. Scene
    31
    Panel
    3
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    confined to our restrictive seats.
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89. Scene
    31
    Panel
    4
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    Mommy and Daddy won’t let us stick the forks in those fascinating sad faces placed about the walls,
    Death by Daycare Page 89/155
    

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90. Scene
    31
    Panel
    5
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    or go into the cabinet with all the cool looking colorful beverages.
    Death by Daycare Page 90/155
    

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91. Scene
    32
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    KYLE
    I hear ya, brother
    Death by Daycare Page 91/155
    

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92. Scene
    32
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    JAMIE
    What is happening?
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93. Scene
    33
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    But the worst offense of all is the baseless drivel we are forced to watch. Those senseless shapes and colors.
    Death by Daycare Page 93/155
    

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94. Scene
    33
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    It’s demeaning!
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95. Scene
    34
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    KYLE
    Amen.
    Death by Daycare Page 95/155
    

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96. Scene
    35
    Panel
    1
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    So Tommy, my eldest of kin, made a plan.
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97. Scene
    35
    Panel
    2
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    We broke out, stole Daddy’s overcoat and fedora, and made a B-Line to the theater.
    Death by Daycare Page 97/155
    

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98. Scene
    35
    Panel
    3
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    To finally see a coveted PG-13 movie!
    Death by Daycare Page 98/155
    

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99. Scene
    35
    Panel
    4
    Dialog
    PHILBERT
    Of course Bill then pointed we would be needing some snackies to quell our appetites during the picture show-
    Death by Daycare Page 99/155
    

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100. Scene
     35
     Panel
     5
     Dialog
     BILL (O.S.)
     And cigarettes
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101. Scene
     35
     Panel
     6
     Dialog
     PHILBERT
     Haha yes and cigarettes, classic Bill.
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102. Scene
     35
     Panel
     7
     Dialog
     PHILBERT
     So we decided to rob this here gas station on our way to the theater and dare to do what no baby has ever done before-
     Death by Daycare Page 102/155
     

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103. Scene
     36
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     PHILBERT
     See a PG-13 Movie, unsupervised!
     Death by Daycare Page 103/155
     

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104. Scene
     37
     Panel
     1
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105. Scene
     37
     Panel
     2
     Dialog
     PHILBERT
     Dangit.
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106. Scene
     1
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     JAMIE
     Just unlock it!
     KYLE
     I-I don’t remember my password.
     [...]
     Death by Daycare Page 106/155
     

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107. Scene
     2
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     JAMIE
     What do you mean you don’t remember your password?!
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108. Scene
     2
     Panel
     2
     Dialog
     KYLE
     I always just use my face!
     Death by Daycare Page 108/155
     

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109. Scene
     2
     Panel
     3
     Dialog
     JAMIE
     Well then use your face, dipshit!
     Death by Daycare Page 109/155
     

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110. Scene
     2
     Panel
     4
     Dialog
     KYLE
     I can’t! My face always clenches up when I’m nervous! My phone doesn't recognize it!
     Death by Daycare Page 110/155
     

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111. Scene
     3
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     TOMMY
     Open up boys, we’re not gonna hurt you.
     Death by Daycare Page 111/155
     

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112. Scene
     4
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     KYLE
     That’s a lie! They have a gun, those are like supposed to hurt people.
     Death by Daycare Page 112/155
     

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113. Scene
     4
     Panel
     2
     Dialog
     JAMIE
     Dude! Just use the emergency call function.
     KYLE
     Oh yeah.
     Death by Daycare Page 113/155
     

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114. Scene
     5
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     TOMMY
     I’m gonna give you boys to the count of three to open this door up.
     Death by Daycare Page 114/155
     

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115. Scene
     6
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     JAMIE
     C’MON C’MON!
     Death by Daycare Page 115/155
     

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116. Scene
     7
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     TOMMY
     One…
     Death by Daycare Page 116/155
     

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117. Scene
     8
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     OPERATOR
     911, what’s your emergency?
     Death by Daycare Page 117/155
     

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118. Scene
     8
     Panel
     2
     Dialog
     KYLE
     Hello! Babies are holding up our gas station!
     Death by Daycare Page 118/155
     

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119. Scene
     9
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     TOMMY
     Two…
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120. Scene
     10
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     OPERATOR
     Sir, prank calling this line is a serious offense.
     Death by Daycare Page 120/155
     

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121. Scene
     10
     Panel
     2
     Dialog
     KYLE
     It’s not a prank, I swear!
     Death by Daycare Page 121/155
     

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122. Scene
     10
     Panel
     3
     Dialog
     JAMIE
     Why’d you have to mention the babies, dude?!
     Death by Daycare Page 122/155
     

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123. Scene
     11
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     TOMMY
     Three!
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124. Scene
     11
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     2
     Dialog
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127. Scene
     13
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     1
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128. Scene
     14
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     1
     Dialog
     KYLE
     NOOOO, my entire net worth!!
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129. Scene
     15
     Panel
     1
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130. Scene
     16
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     TOMMY
     End of the line boys. You may have been able to outwit Philbert, but there’s no getting passed me.
     Death by Daycare Page 130/155
     

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131. Scene
     16
     Panel
     2
     Dialog
     PHILBERT (sadly and melodramatically)
     They appealed to my emotions. They made me feel heard!
     Death by Daycare Page 131/155
     

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132. Scene
     16
     Panel
     3
     Dialog
     TOMMY
     Can it, Philbert!...
     Death by Daycare Page 132/155
     

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133. Scene
     16
     Panel
     4
     Dialog
     TOMMY
     Now which one of you wants to go first
     Death by Daycare Page 133/155
     

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134. Scene
     16
     Panel
     5
     Dialog
     car is heard from offscreen
     Death by Daycare Page 134/155
     

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135. Scene
     16
     Panel
     6
     Dialog
     TOMMY
     Oh Shit!
     Death by Daycare Page 135/155
     

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136. Scene
     16
     Panel
     7
     Dialog
     TOMMY
     We better skedaddle boys!
     Death by Daycare Page 136/155
     

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137. Scene
     17
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     1
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138. Scene
     17
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     2
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139. Scene
     17
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     3
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140. Scene
     18
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     1
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141. Scene
     18
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     2
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142. Scene
     18
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     3
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143. Scene
     19
     Panel
     1
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144. Scene
     19
     Panel
     2
     Dialog
     JAMIE
     You know, I bet you taught them that word.
     Death by Daycare Page 144/155
     

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145. Scene
     19
     Panel
     3
     Dialog
     KYLE
     Skedaddle?
     Death by Daycare Page 145/155
     

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146. Scene
     19
     Panel
     4
     Dialog
     JAMIE
     No, “shit” you idiot!
     Death by Daycare Page 146/155
     

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147. Scene
     19
     Panel
     5
     Dialog
     KYLE
     Oh…
     Death by Daycare Page 147/155
     

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148. Scene
     19
     Panel
     6
     Dialog
     KYLE
     Yeah probably
     Death by Daycare Page 148/155
     

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149. Scene
     1
     Panel
     1
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150. Scene
     1
     Panel
     2
     Dialog
     KYLE
     So what were you saying about Weezer?
     Death by Daycare Page 150/155
     

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151. Scene
     1
     Panel
     3
     Dialog
     JAMIE
     Dude, for the last time I was talking about-
     Death by Daycare Page 151/155
     

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152. Scene
     1
     Panel
     4
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153. Scene
     2
     Panel
     1
     Dialog
     TEENAGE GIRL (FRANTICALLY)
     Have you seen three babies? One has the face of a middle aged man, another sorta looks like a peanut and the third looks like he hasn’t slept in 5 months! I’m supposed to be babysitting them, their parents are gonna kill me!
     Death by Daycare Page 153/155
     

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154. Scene
     3
     Panel
     1
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155. Scene
     3
     Panel
     2
     Dialog
     JAMIE
     Haven’t seen ‘em.
     KYLE
     No clue.
     Death by Daycare Page 155/155
     

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