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Death by Daycare (Rough Boards)

Death by Daycare (Rough Boards)

Joseph Faustino

July 29, 2022
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  1. Scene 1 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE (O.S.) Dude, I swear

    to God if I have to here you talk about Weezer for another second- Death by Daycare Page 1/155
  2. Scene 2 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE Dude, I’m talking about

    The Strokes. Death by Daycare Page 2/155
  3. Scene 2 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 3/155

  4. Scene 2 Panel 3 Dialog KYLE Yeah more like… uhhhhh,

    umm more like the Jokes. Death by Daycare Page 4/155
  5. Scene 2 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 5/155

  6. Scene 3 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE (aggressively unamused)Good one. Death

    by Daycare Page 6/155
  7. Scene 3 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 7/155

  8. Scene 3 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 8/155

  9. Scene 4 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Got your ass. Death

    by Daycare Page 9/155
  10. Scene 4 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 10/155

  11. Scene 5 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 11/155

  12. Scene 5 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 12/155

  13. Scene 5 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 13/155

  14. Scene 5 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 14/155

  15. Scene 6 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 15/155

  16. Scene 6 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE What do you want,

    man? Death by Daycare Page 16/155
  17. Scene 6 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 17/155

  18. Scene 6 Panel 4 Dialog JAMIE Dude! We’ve gotta be

    professional or something. Death by Daycare Page 18/155
  19. Scene 6 Panel 5 Dialog KYLE Dude, this is a

    gas station! Shadowy figure over here doesn't give a shit! Death by Daycare Page 19/155
  20. Scene 6 Panel 6 Death by Daycare Page 20/155

  21. Scene 6 Panel 7 Dialog KYLE Oh, shit. Death by

    Daycare Page 21/155
  22. Scene 7 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 22/155

  23. Scene 8 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Is this cause I

    wasn’t like professional or something? Is it cause I said shit? Death by Daycare Page 23/155
  24. Scene 8 Panel 2 Dialog Shit I said it again.

    Death by Daycare Page 24/155
  25. Scene 8 Panel 3 Dialog SHIT! Death by Daycare Page

    25/155
  26. Scene 8 Panel 4 Dialog JAMIE DUDE, SHUT UP! Death

    by Daycare Page 26/155
  27. Scene 8 Panel 5 Death by Daycare Page 27/155

  28. Scene 9 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 28/155

  29. Scene 9 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 29/155

  30. Scene 10 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 30/155

  31. Scene 11 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 31/155

  32. Scene 12 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 32/155

  33. Scene 12 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE SHIT I CURSED IN

    FRONT OF BABIES! Death by Daycare Page 33/155
  34. Scene 12 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE DUDE! Death by Daycare

    Page 34/155
  35. Scene 13 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 35/155

  36. Scene 13 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 36/155

  37. Scene 13 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 37/155

  38. Scene 13 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 38/155

  39. Scene 14 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 39/155

  40. Scene 14 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 40/155

  41. Scene 14 Panel 3 Dialog TOMMY Bill, help me establish

    a perimeter. Death by Daycare Page 41/155
  42. Scene 14 Panel 4 Dialog TOMMY Philbert, Death by Daycare

    Page 42/155
  43. Scene 15 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY make sure these freaks

    don’t pull anything funny. Death by Daycare Page 43/155
  44. Scene 15 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 44/155

  45. Scene 16 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 45/155

  46. Scene 16 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 46/155

  47. Scene 16 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 47/155

  48. Scene 16 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 48/155

  49. Scene 17 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 49/155

  50. Scene 17 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE Dude, I bet I

    can take them. Death by Daycare Page 50/155
  51. Scene 17 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Are you serious right

    now, dude? Death by Daycare Page 51/155
  52. Scene 17 Panel 4 Dialog KYLE They’re babies! Death by

    Daycare Page 52/155
  53. Scene 17 Panel 5 Dialog JAMIE WITH GUNS, KYLE! BABIES

    WITH GUNS! Death by Daycare Page 53/155
  54. Scene 18 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT You are aware that

    I can hear everything you’re saying. Death by Daycare Page 54/155
  55. Scene 19 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 55/155

  56. Scene 19 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 56/155

  57. Scene 20 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 57/155

  58. Scene 20 Panel 2 Dialog BILL You got a cigarette?

    Death by Daycare Page 58/155
  59. Scene 21 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 59/155

  60. Scene 21 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE Dude! Death by Daycare

    Page 60/155
  61. Scene 21 Panel 3 Dialog KYLE What? Does it look

    like we’re in a position to argue with these guys?! Death by Daycare Page 61/155
  62. Scene 21 Panel 4 Dialog JAMIE You can’t give them

    cigarettes! They’re babies! Death by Daycare Page 62/155
  63. Scene 21 Panel 5 Dialog KYLE With guns, Jamie! WITH

    GUNS Death by Daycare Page 63/155
  64. Scene 21 Panel 6 Death by Daycare Page 64/155

  65. Scene 21 Panel 7 Dialog JAMIE Sigh Death by Daycare

    Page 65/155
  66. Scene 21 Panel 8 Dialog JAMIE *sigh* I swear if

    these babies don’t kill you then I will. Death by Daycare Page 66/155
  67. Scene 22 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE (V.O.) There’s gotta be

    a way to get past these babies. Death by Daycare Page 67/155
  68. Scene 22 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE (V.O.) Let me think.

    Death by Daycare Page 68/155
  69. Scene 22 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 69/155

  70. Scene 23 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE Holy crap! Is that

    an application for the Gerber Life® grow up plan?! Give your child a headstart for just pennies a day! Death by Daycare Page 70/155
  71. Scene 23 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT Where?! Death by Daycare

    Page 71/155
  72. Scene 24 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 72/155

  73. Scene 24 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 73/155

  74. Scene 25 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT Nice try, but that

    commercial is addressed to parents and grandparents of young children. Death by Daycare Page 74/155
  75. Scene 25 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT I AM the young

    child! Death by Daycare Page 75/155
  76. Scene 26 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Oh but you’re so

    very capable, Death by Daycare Page 76/155
  77. Scene 26 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE for such a young

    little dude. Death by Daycare Page 77/155
  78. Scene 26 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Kyle? Death by Daycare

    Page 78/155
  79. Scene 27 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT Do not patronize me,

    degenerate. Death by Daycare Page 79/155
  80. Scene 28 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Oh no no, No

    parallelograms here my friend. Death by Daycare Page 80/155
  81. Scene 28 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE Kyle, what are you

    doing? Death by Daycare Page 81/155
  82. Scene 28 Panel 3 Dialog KYLE We were just wondering

    what such strong, independent, and capable babies are doing here, holding up our rinky dink gas station. Death by Daycare Page 82/155
  83. Scene 29 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT Heh, it’s not so

    simple. Death by Daycare Page 83/155
  84. Scene 29 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT You wouldn’t understand. Death

    by Daycare Page 84/155
  85. Scene 30 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Try me, brochacho. Death

    by Daycare Page 85/155
  86. Scene 31 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT Well… you see. Life

    isn’t all that easy for us babies. Death by Daycare Page 86/155
  87. Scene 31 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT Always held up in

    our cages, Death by Daycare Page 87/155
  88. Scene 31 Panel 3 Dialog PHILBERT confined to our restrictive

    seats. Death by Daycare Page 88/155
  89. Scene 31 Panel 4 Dialog PHILBERT Mommy and Daddy won’t

    let us stick the forks in those fascinating sad faces placed about the walls, Death by Daycare Page 89/155
  90. Scene 31 Panel 5 Dialog PHILBERT or go into the

    cabinet with all the cool looking colorful beverages. Death by Daycare Page 90/155
  91. Scene 32 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE I hear ya, brother

    Death by Daycare Page 91/155
  92. Scene 32 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE What is happening? Death

    by Daycare Page 92/155
  93. Scene 33 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT But the worst offense

    of all is the baseless drivel we are forced to watch. Those senseless shapes and colors. Death by Daycare Page 93/155
  94. Scene 33 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT It’s demeaning! Death by

    Daycare Page 94/155
  95. Scene 34 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE Amen. Death by Daycare

    Page 95/155
  96. Scene 35 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT So Tommy, my eldest

    of kin, made a plan. Death by Daycare Page 96/155
  97. Scene 35 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT We broke out, stole

    Daddy’s overcoat and fedora, and made a B-Line to the theater. Death by Daycare Page 97/155
  98. Scene 35 Panel 3 Dialog PHILBERT To finally see a

    coveted PG-13 movie! Death by Daycare Page 98/155
  99. Scene 35 Panel 4 Dialog PHILBERT Of course Bill then

    pointed we would be needing some snackies to quell our appetites during the picture show- Death by Daycare Page 99/155
  100. Scene 35 Panel 5 Dialog BILL (O.S.) And cigarettes Death

    by Daycare Page 100/155
  101. Scene 35 Panel 6 Dialog PHILBERT Haha yes and cigarettes,

    classic Bill. Death by Daycare Page 101/155
  102. Scene 35 Panel 7 Dialog PHILBERT So we decided to

    rob this here gas station on our way to the theater and dare to do what no baby has ever done before- Death by Daycare Page 102/155
  103. Scene 36 Panel 1 Dialog PHILBERT See a PG-13 Movie,

    unsupervised! Death by Daycare Page 103/155
  104. Scene 37 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 104/155

  105. Scene 37 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT Dangit. Death by Daycare

    Page 105/155
  106. Scene 1 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE Just unlock it! KYLE

    I-I don’t remember my password. [...] Death by Daycare Page 106/155
  107. Scene 2 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE What do you mean

    you don’t remember your password?! Death by Daycare Page 107/155
  108. Scene 2 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE I always just use

    my face! Death by Daycare Page 108/155
  109. Scene 2 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Well then use your

    face, dipshit! Death by Daycare Page 109/155
  110. Scene 2 Panel 4 Dialog KYLE I can’t! My face

    always clenches up when I’m nervous! My phone doesn't recognize it! Death by Daycare Page 110/155
  111. Scene 3 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY Open up boys, we’re

    not gonna hurt you. Death by Daycare Page 111/155
  112. Scene 4 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE That’s a lie! They

    have a gun, those are like supposed to hurt people. Death by Daycare Page 112/155
  113. Scene 4 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE Dude! Just use the

    emergency call function. KYLE Oh yeah. Death by Daycare Page 113/155
  114. Scene 5 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY I’m gonna give you

    boys to the count of three to open this door up. Death by Daycare Page 114/155
  115. Scene 6 Panel 1 Dialog JAMIE C’MON C’MON! Death by

    Daycare Page 115/155
  116. Scene 7 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY One… Death by Daycare

    Page 116/155
  117. Scene 8 Panel 1 Dialog OPERATOR 911, what’s your emergency?

    Death by Daycare Page 117/155
  118. Scene 8 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE Hello! Babies are holding

    up our gas station! Death by Daycare Page 118/155
  119. Scene 9 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY Two… Death by Daycare

    Page 119/155
  120. Scene 10 Panel 1 Dialog OPERATOR Sir, prank calling this

    line is a serious offense. Death by Daycare Page 120/155
  121. Scene 10 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE It’s not a prank,

    I swear! Death by Daycare Page 121/155
  122. Scene 10 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Why’d you have to

    mention the babies, dude?! Death by Daycare Page 122/155
  123. Scene 11 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY Three! Death by Daycare

    Page 123/155
  124. Scene 11 Panel 2 Dialog Death by Daycare Page 124/155

  125. Scene 12 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 125/155

  126. Scene 12 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 126/155

  127. Scene 13 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 127/155

  128. Scene 14 Panel 1 Dialog KYLE NOOOO, my entire net

    worth!! Death by Daycare Page 128/155
  129. Scene 15 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 129/155

  130. Scene 16 Panel 1 Dialog TOMMY End of the line

    boys. You may have been able to outwit Philbert, but there’s no getting passed me. Death by Daycare Page 130/155
  131. Scene 16 Panel 2 Dialog PHILBERT (sadly and melodramatically) They

    appealed to my emotions. They made me feel heard! Death by Daycare Page 131/155
  132. Scene 16 Panel 3 Dialog TOMMY Can it, Philbert!... Death

    by Daycare Page 132/155
  133. Scene 16 Panel 4 Dialog TOMMY Now which one of

    you wants to go first Death by Daycare Page 133/155
  134. Scene 16 Panel 5 Dialog car is heard from offscreen

    Death by Daycare Page 134/155
  135. Scene 16 Panel 6 Dialog TOMMY Oh Shit! Death by

    Daycare Page 135/155
  136. Scene 16 Panel 7 Dialog TOMMY We better skedaddle boys!

    Death by Daycare Page 136/155
  137. Scene 17 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 137/155

  138. Scene 17 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 138/155

  139. Scene 17 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 139/155

  140. Scene 18 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 140/155

  141. Scene 18 Panel 2 Death by Daycare Page 141/155

  142. Scene 18 Panel 3 Death by Daycare Page 142/155

  143. Scene 19 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 143/155

  144. Scene 19 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE You know, I bet

    you taught them that word. Death by Daycare Page 144/155
  145. Scene 19 Panel 3 Dialog KYLE Skedaddle? Death by Daycare

    Page 145/155
  146. Scene 19 Panel 4 Dialog JAMIE No, “shit” you idiot!

    Death by Daycare Page 146/155
  147. Scene 19 Panel 5 Dialog KYLE Oh… Death by Daycare

    Page 147/155
  148. Scene 19 Panel 6 Dialog KYLE Yeah probably Death by

    Daycare Page 148/155
  149. Scene 1 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 149/155

  150. Scene 1 Panel 2 Dialog KYLE So what were you

    saying about Weezer? Death by Daycare Page 150/155
  151. Scene 1 Panel 3 Dialog JAMIE Dude, for the last

    time I was talking about- Death by Daycare Page 151/155
  152. Scene 1 Panel 4 Death by Daycare Page 152/155

  153. Scene 2 Panel 1 Dialog TEENAGE GIRL (FRANTICALLY) Have you

    seen three babies? One has the face of a middle aged man, another sorta looks like a peanut and the third looks like he hasn’t slept in 5 months! I’m supposed to be babysitting them, their parents are gonna kill me! Death by Daycare Page 153/155
  154. Scene 3 Panel 1 Death by Daycare Page 154/155

  155. Scene 3 Panel 2 Dialog JAMIE Haven’t seen ‘em. KYLE

    No clue. Death by Daycare Page 155/155