[Productized] Conflict Resolution for People Who Hate Conflict

A short presentation I gave at Productized in Lisbon.

Transcript

1. © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0 Joshua Mauldin, Productized 2019 Conflict Resolution for People Who Hate Conflict Copyright 2019
2. 1. Preparing 2. Having 3. Disaster Recovery Topics
3. Hello, it’s me
4. Embracing healthy conflict strengthens you, your team, and the products you build.
5. How to Structure Effective Conversations
6. © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0 Part One Preparing for the Conversation
7. Preparing for the Conversation 1. Check Yourself 2. Get the Facts 3. Form Conclusions 4. Set Goals
9. Don’t assume bad intentions over neglect and misunderstanding. __ Hanlon’s Razor
10. Preparing for the Conversation 1. Check Yourself 2. Get the Facts 3. Form Conclusions 4. Set Goals
11. • Write the whole situation down • Highlight the observable and objective • These form the basis of your conversation and show how you reached your conclusion Get the Facts
12. One-off or Pattern? • If it is a pattern, you’ll have a stronger case • Be prepared to go into 2-3 examples
13. Preparing for the Conversation 1. Check Yourself 2. Get the Facts 3. Form Conclusions 4. Set Goals
14. • How did it made you feel? • How did it impact your team? • How did it impact the product? Form Conclusions
15. When you ______, I feel ________.
16. Preparing for the Conversation 1. Check Yourself 2. Get the Facts 3. Form Conclusions 4. Set Goals
17. Establish Your Goals • Make these your guiding principles • Write it down, take it in with you Sample goals • They stop micromanaging • They respect your agency • They show up on time to critical meetings
18. © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0 Part Two Having the Conversation
19. How Effective Conversations are Structured
20. 1. Start with Safety 2. Lead with Facts 3. Share Conclusions 4. Open it Up Having the Conversation
21. Start with Safety • Build safety: ask for permission to have the conversation ◦ “Is this a bad time?” • Look at your body language, remain neutral or open
22. 1. Start with Safety 2. Lead with Facts 3. Share Conclusions 4. Open it Up Having the Conversation
23. 1. Start with Safety 2. Lead with Facts 3. Share Conclusions 4. Open it Up Having the Conversation
24. Share Your Conclusions • Talk about how it affected you or the conclusions you drew • Avoid judgements and speak tentatively ◦ “It seems like…” or “It looks like…”
25. 1. Start with Safety 2. Lead with Facts 3. Share Conclusions 4. Open it Up Having the Conversation
26. Opening it Up Closed questions: not so good • Isn’t that the case? • Am I wrong? • Does that makes sense? • What can we do to ensure this never happens again? • Why did you do that? Open-ended questions: good • How do you see it? • What are your thoughts? • Can you help me understand? • What might I be missing here?
27. © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0 Part Three Disaster Recovery
29. 1. Safety Check 2. Add Contrast 3. Create Shared Purpose 4. Pull Back Disaster Recovery
30. Safety Check Signs someone may not be feeling safe • Withdrawing, terse responses • Abrasive, yelling • Shaking/trembling • Crossed arms/avoiding eye contact
31. 1. Safety Check 2. Add Contrast 3. Create Shared Purpose 4. Pull Back Disaster Recovery
32. I’m not saying ______, I’m saying ________.
33. 1. Safety Check 2. Add Contrast 3. Create Shared Purpose 4. Pull Back Disaster Recovery
35. Create Shared Purpose • We all want the same thing • Our definitions of good might differ from each other • Ask clarifying questions: ◦ How does this fit into our objective? ◦ What’s the core issue? ◦ What’s the end goal of what you’re trying to accomplish?
36. 1. Safety Check 2. Add Contrast 3. Create Shared Purpose 4. Pull Back Disaster Recovery
37. Pull Back • Know going into it that your conversation might fail • It’s okay to walk away
38. Let’s keep in touch! Twitter twitter.com/joshuamauldin LinkedIn linkedin.com/in/joshuamauldin Personal joshuamauldin.com Join my mailing list for more tips on conflict resolution Sign Up
39. © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0 Thank you!
40. © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0 Epilogue Helpful resources
41. Never Split the Difference Crucial Conversations Radical Candor How to Have a Good Day
42. Helpful resources • The best teams thrive on disagreement • 5 Dysfunctions of a Team • Atlassian Team Playbook • The five keys to a successful Google team