[Productized] Conflict Resolution for People Who Hate Conflict

[Productized] Conflict Resolution for People Who Hate Conflict

A short presentation I gave at Productized in Lisbon.

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Joshua Mauldin

November 22, 2019
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Transcript

  1. 1.

    © Copyright 2019 Joshua Mauldin. All rights Reserved. Version 1.0

    Joshua Mauldin, Productized 2019 Conflict Resolution for People Who Hate Conflict Copyright 2019
  2. 6.
  3. 7.

    Preparing for the Conversation 1. Check Yourself 2. Get the

    Facts 3. Form Conclusions 4. Set Goals
  4. 8.
  5. 10.

    Preparing for the Conversation 1. Check Yourself 2. Get the

    Facts 3. Form Conclusions 4. Set Goals
  6. 11.

    • Write the whole situation down • Highlight the observable

    and objective • These form the basis of your conversation and show how you reached your conclusion Get the Facts
  7. 12.

    One-off or Pattern? • If it is a pattern, you’ll

    have a stronger case • Be prepared to go into 2-3 examples
  8. 13.

    Preparing for the Conversation 1. Check Yourself 2. Get the

    Facts 3. Form Conclusions 4. Set Goals
  9. 14.

    • How did it made you feel? • How did

    it impact your team? • How did it impact the product? Form Conclusions
  10. 16.

    Preparing for the Conversation 1. Check Yourself 2. Get the

    Facts 3. Form Conclusions 4. Set Goals
  11. 17.

    Establish Your Goals • Make these your guiding principles •

    Write it down, take it in with you Sample goals • They stop micromanaging • They respect your agency • They show up on time to critical meetings
  12. 20.

    1. Start with Safety 2. Lead with Facts 3. Share

    Conclusions 4. Open it Up Having the Conversation
  13. 21.

    Start with Safety • Build safety: ask for permission to

    have the conversation ◦ “Is this a bad time?” • Look at your body language, remain neutral or open
  14. 22.

    1. Start with Safety 2. Lead with Facts 3. Share

    Conclusions 4. Open it Up Having the Conversation
  15. 23.

    1. Start with Safety 2. Lead with Facts 3. Share

    Conclusions 4. Open it Up Having the Conversation
  16. 24.

    Share Your Conclusions • Talk about how it affected you

    or the conclusions you drew • Avoid judgements and speak tentatively ◦ “It seems like…” or “It looks like…”
  17. 25.

    1. Start with Safety 2. Lead with Facts 3. Share

    Conclusions 4. Open it Up Having the Conversation
  18. 26.

    Opening it Up Closed questions: not so good • Isn’t

    that the case? • Am I wrong? • Does that makes sense? • What can we do to ensure this never happens again? • Why did you do that? Open-ended questions: good • How do you see it? • What are your thoughts? • Can you help me understand? • What might I be missing here?
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    Safety Check Signs someone may not be feeling safe •

    Withdrawing, terse responses • Abrasive, yelling • Shaking/trembling • Crossed arms/avoiding eye contact
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    Create Shared Purpose • We all want the same thing

    • Our definitions of good might differ from each other • Ask clarifying questions: ◦ How does this fit into our objective? ◦ What’s the core issue? ◦ What’s the end goal of what you’re trying to accomplish?
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    Pull Back • Know going into it that your conversation

    might fail • It’s okay to walk away
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    Helpful resources • The best teams thrive on disagreement •

    5 Dysfunctions of a Team • Atlassian Team Playbook • The five keys to a successful Google team