My journey to the center of PHP - Midwest PHP 2017

"I don't know C!", is probably one of the most common excuses that us PHP nerds give for not contributing to PHP source. And top it off with all the overly-publicized drama surrounding the PHP internals mailing list, most user-land PHP developers don't want to touch PHP source with a ten foot pole.

In this talk I tell my story of how a plain-old user-land PHP nerd who, "doesn't know C," found himself drawn to PHP internals like a bug to a light. I was meet with a lovely helpful community of individuals who mentored me the whole way to making PHP better. This talk will encourage and inspire you to join me on an epic journey to the center of PHP.

Transcript

1. M A R C H 1 8 T H , 2 0 1 7 JOURNEY MY CENTER TO THE OF S A M M Y K A Y E P O W E R S @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
2. SCARY! INTERNALS IS http://saint-max.deviantart.com @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
3. I don’t know C! Internals is scary! I don’t know what I’m doing!
4. BOOKS ON PHP 7 INTERNALS: THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
5. BUBBLE MY 1998-2013 @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
6. LARACON 2014 NEW YORK PHP|TEK CHICAGO @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
7. PHP|TEK HACK-A-THON CONTRIBUTE TO PHP @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
8. I don’t know what I’m doing! @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
9. ELIZABETH SMITH DERICK RETHANS
10. @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
11. ANTHONY FERRARA @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
12. CONTRIBUTION MY FIRST
13. this is a table… @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
14. I love tabs! this is a table… Spaces is where it’s at! I’m trying to upgrade bison I added array_column() Have you used Docker? Licensing in FOSS is important Let’s have a PGP key signing party! JavaScript is weird
15. I love tabs! this is a table… Spaces is where it’s at! I’m trying to upgrade bison I added array_column() Have you used Docker? Licensing in FOSS is important Let’s have a PGP key signing party! JavaScript is weird
16. TABS SPACES VS
17. CLOSER TO INTERNALS PUSHED ME
18. OPEN SOURCE @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
19. PHP SDK FACEBOOK
20. FOSCO MAROTTO @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
21. HQ FACEBOOK @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
23. CHANGED IT ALL THE PR THAT @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
26. SCOTT ARCISZEWSKI (AR - SIZ - ZU - SKI) @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
27. @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
28. @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
29. SCOTT’S PR INFOSEC FALLOUT == @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
30. I HAD A CHOICE OR @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
31. CSPRNG WUT? @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
32. CSPRNG WUT? @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
33. CSPRNG mt_rand($min, $max); rand($min, $max); @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
34. CSPRNG echo mt_rand(0, 42); 11
35. CSPRNG echo mt_rand(0, 42); 7
36. echo mt_rand(0, 42); 39 CSPRNG
37. CSPRNG mt_srand(10); echo mt_rand(0, 42); 21
38. CSPRNG mt_srand(10); echo mt_rand(0, 42); 21
39. mt_srand(10); echo mt_rand(0, 42); 21 CSPRNG
40. rand(); mt_rand(); AUTO SEEDING USING TIMESTAMP + A FEW OTHER VARIABLES CSPRNG @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
45. AUTO SEEDING USING TIMESTAMP + A FEW OTHER VARIABLES @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
47. CSPRNG’S USE BETTER SEEDS @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
49. CSPRNG OPTIONS IN 5.x openssl_random_pseudo_bytes() mcrypt_create_iv() /dev/*random @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
50. CSPRNG OPTIONS IN 5.x openssl_random_pseudo_bytes() mcrypt_create_iv() /dev/*random @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
51. openssl_random_pseudo_bytes() https://wiki.openssl.org/index.php/Random_fork-safety Since the UNIX fork() system call duplicates the entire process state, a random number generator which does not take this issue into account will produce the same sequence of random numbers in both the parent and the child […], leading to cryptographic disaster… “
52. openssl_random_pseudo_bytes() https://wiki.openssl.org/index.php/Random_fork-safety OpenSSL cannot fix the fork- safety problem because its not in a position to do so. However, there are [solutions] available and they are listed below. “
53. openssl_random_pseudo_bytes() https://wiki.openssl.org/index.php/Random_fork-safety Don't use RAND_bytes “
54. openssl_random_pseudo_bytes() https://wiki.openssl.org/index.php/Random_fork-safety Instead, you can read directly from /dev/random, /dev/urandom or /dev/srandom; or use CryptGenRandom on Windows systems. “
55. CSPRNG OPTIONS IN 5.x openssl_random_pseudo_bytes() mcrypt_create_iv() /dev/*random @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
56. mcrypt_create_iv()
57. mcrypt_create_iv()
58. mcrypt_create_iv()
59. CSPRNG OPTIONS IN 5.x openssl_random_pseudo_bytes() mcrypt_create_iv() /dev/*random @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
60. /dev/*random
61. CSPRNG OPTIONS IN 5.x openssl_random_pseudo_bytes() mcrypt_create_iv() /dev/*random @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
62. Why is CSPRNG so hard in PHP?
63. SUNSHINE PHP 2015 @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
64. Why is CSPRNG so hard in PHP?
65. Because no one’s made it easy.
66. CSPRNG MAKE EASY
67. I have NO idea what I’m doing!
68. Start with user-land implementation
69. github.com/SammyK/php-src-csprng
70. THREE ADD NEW FUNCTIONS random_int($min, $max) random_bytes($bytes) random_hex($bytes) @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
71. Vetted by infosec nerds. including…
72. SCOTT @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
73. THREE ADD NEW FUNCTIONS random_bytes($bytes) random_hex($bytes) random_int($min, $max) @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
74. THREE ADD NEW FUNCTIONS random_bytes($bytes) random_hex($bytes) random_int($min, $max) two @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
75. ADD NEW FUNCTIONS bin2hex(random_bytes($bytes)) === THREE two random_hex($bytes) @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
76. IMPLEMENTATION THE ACTUAL @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
78. google!
79. COPY I DON’T ALWAYS PASTE & BUT WHEN I DO…
80. github.com/php/php-src/pull/191/files
81. /ext/standard/basic_functions.c
82. /ext/standard/base64.c
83. COPY PASTE @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
84. COMPILE TEST @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
85. random bytes int min max ?? ?? ? ??!! @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
86. ROOM 11 @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
87. segfault @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
88. I have NO idea what I’m doing! random bytes int min max
89. LEIGH LAST NAME? @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
90. @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
91. THE P R O C E S S (REQUEST FOR COMMENTS) @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
92. INTERNALS@LISTS.PHP.NET @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
93. GET YOU SOME WIKI KARMA @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
94. GET YOU SOME WIKI KARMA wiki.php.net @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
95. GET YOU SOME WIKI KARMA INTERNALS@LISTS.PHP.NET @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
96. YOUR RFC CREATE wiki.php.net/rfc/howto @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
97. YOUR RFC ANNOUNCE INTERNALS@LISTS.PHP.NET @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
98. FOR 2 WEEKS WAIT @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
99. UNDER DISCUSSION @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
100. ANNOUNCE THE VOTING PHASE INTERNALS@LISTS.PHP.NET @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
101. USUALLY 2 WEEKS @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
102. @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
103. sammyk.me/how-to-contribute-to-php-documentation @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
104. THE PROCESS FIN @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
105. RFC WORKING IMPLEMENTATION ANNOUNCE TO INTERNALS CHECKLIST @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
106. RFC WORKING IMPLEMENTATION ANNOUNCE TO INTERNALS CHECKLIST ✓ @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
107. RFC WORKING IMPLEMENTATION ANNOUNCE TO INTERNALS CHECKLIST ✓ ✓ @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
108. RFC WORKING IMPLEMENTATION ANNOUNCE TO INTERNALS CHECKLIST ✓ ✓ x @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
109. RFC WORKING IMPLEMENTATION ANNOUNCE TO INTERNALS CHECKLIST ✓ ✓ x PHP internals is scawy!
110. Everyone is smarter than me - I’ll be a laughingstock! Everyone is mean - look at scalar type- hints drama!
111. Let’s do this sh… stuff!
114. LATER …TWO WEEKS
117. @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
118. @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
119. JOURNEY MY CENTER TO THE OF IT’S LIKE EATING @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
120. LEARNED WHAT I I don’t know what I’m doing! HOW FEATURES ARE ADDED TO PHP THE CULTURE OF PHP INTERNALS BETTER AT C & C++ DEEPER UNDERSTANDING OF CSPRNG’S BINARY AND HEXADECIMAL NUMBER SYSTEMS HOW TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE PHP DOCS AND TONS MORE!
121. I STILL have no idea what I’m doing!
122. SCARY! INTERNALS IS http://saint-max.deviantart.com @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
123. SCARY! INTERNALS IS http://saint-max.deviantart.com not ^ @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
124. COMMUNITY LOVING @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
125. I N T E R N A L S N E E D S YOU SOURCE BUGS WEBSITE TESTS @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
126. TABS INTERNALS USES @SammyK #mwphp17 joind.in/talk/01835
127. THANKS! SAMMY KAYE POWERS @SammyK SammyK.me Host of @PHPRoundtable @ChiPHPUG West Coast Swing Hire me! :) /talk/01835