Benaz Irani - The power of ‘No’: Confessions of a former people pleaser

N e ha hi i a edi ed a c i f a li e e e a d he ef e ma c ai e . Thi a c i
i he j i e f Ca i LIVE a d he a h i ed a e ible f a me a d ma be
c ied ed b a he a i h a h i a i .
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UX A a a
W e UX, S cceed De
T da , 28 A 2022
Ca i ned b : Ca mel D ne

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>> Tha i a eall g d in beca e a l f ime e d e en
he a e g ing ead he deck i h ice e g d ing
ha e .
>> ..Z m h bef e he e i n. ...
MANAMI RAY: One li le hing backg nd , I c me f m financial
e ice a a financial ad i ing link an ne ...in an c e f
in mnia. S I had lea n make i f n, make i in e e ing and g ,
"Oh hi i m a " ha i he e m e e ience c me f m and m
ie . Ve c m le inf ma i n.
MAGS HANLEY: One m e e i n c mmen . N . Oka . Thank
m ch. (APPLAUSE)
MAGS HANLEY: She i a d c de ign manage e h li ed and ked
in he US and A alia and ked a a de ign manage and da ill
be alking ab he The P e f 'N ': C nfe i n f a F me Pe le
Plea e .
BENAZ IRANI: Thank . The he did ch ama ing alk , I'm
g a ef l f being he e da and hi i ne f m fi ime eaking in
f n f an a dience in a e l ng ime hank . S a Mag aid I
am eall alking ab a ic ha i i e e nal and cl e h me
and ha i he e f a ing n , i i eall ab hing back hen
need .
Bef e e ge in i , I ha e a c nfe i n make, I am a f me
e le lea e . S ha ha mean i I gene all d l e hel ing e le.
E e ime I d a e nali e i al a c me a ei he a hel e

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he e le lea e e . I kn he e a e a l f g ea eng h being a
hel , I can hel me f iend ma be i i me hing a k b I al
am a na all - I belie e I am c nf n a i nal e n, I d like ha e
h e diffic l c n e a i n and a I a ng I a l king make a
g d im e i n and lea e e le and ha led me be a e le lea e
he e I ed a e hing in m e nal ela i n hi and a m
k and I didn' nece a il an a e . B he ke hing i
"f me ". I am he e da beca e I an b ild c nfidence and h
ha I ha e c me n he he ide and find a l f a i fac i n ac all in
hing back. S I kind f an a ff i h a . I'm g ing ake
back elling, I l e. Tha I ill ake back f ea
ag . I a ill a O en Table, I ha e been he e f a hile. Thi i a bi
f m de ign eam h a e ill king i h me da . I a eni
d c de igne king n a fe ini ia i e , like a d c manage and
m enginee ing eam n a ing f hing hel ing e a an like eall
efficien e a i n and I a l ing i and I ill d . S i h ha I gi e
m ...I a j being m ed and I a ai ed in being ac i e and
hel ing i h a l f ini ia i e b i h ha i mean ha I a
j ggling a l f hing .
S I al eall l e de ign em e didn' eall ha e a
de ign em a he ime de igne and enginee ld c me
me all he ime - bef e ha I am g ing ickl alk ab - hi i like
he lide . When de ign enginee and hing e e c ming me he
e e hike, "He can hel i h hi ?" I had i i ie ha e e
im an me, i a m main jec k i h m jec manage
and m e nal life. Back hen I a king in San F anci c , m
cial life a eall im an . S he e a e m main i i ie ,
igh . Tha a m g al. A I aid, he enginee de igne ke
c ing me, "Can e da e hi c m nen ?" I a , "Fine, I ill d

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ha ." Al I l ed making ela i n hi i h akeh lde he he i
a me ne f m b and f m ma ke ing I ld ge e e all he
ime being like, "He , can da e hi c een f me" , "I g
feedback n hi can hel ?" I a eall a i na e ab m
ac al de ign eam and hel ing . S m manage ld c me
me and a , "Can da e hi nb a ding deck, hel i h hi
h me ac i i " and hen m main i i ie e e k and m e nal
life a ge ing he ide beca e all f he e e e ha I
ac all ed a e aigh a a .
I ecificall emembe ne ime king in he ffice and
akeh lde g me and, "He can j ickl da e c een
f me f hi ma ke ing ma e ial." I didn' hink ab i m ch I a
like, "Yeah, f c e" aigh a a beca e I'm n hinking n
eall kn ing h gen ha a g ing be and hen I ended
a ing all af e n n d ing hi a k and hen I had end he nigh
king n he d c ff ha I needed d . And ha a m ke
hing g like "dam I'm ing me ne el e' i i ie in f n f m
n" I d n' e en kn if i a a i i n . I g he in he e
m manage a ed b ing i in ne- n- ne and al came m in
m e f mance e ie . She a like, "Y a e g ea , e
d c i e and hel ing in a l f a ea . Thank m ch. B
h a e caling elf beca e if e e lea e if g
ick a e j - e a e de enden n and h a e making
e ha a e f c ed." Thi e i n h a e caling elf I
b ing in m ne- n- ne and e en hi da i h a diffe en manage
e all a k el e in a m, "Wha a e a ing n ?" I an be
clea I aid e a l f ni ie in m ca ee and i ha been
eall hel f l. I am n he e I am da beca e f he ni ie I
ha e aid e b h I am he e da and a ing hi i im an

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i a ing n ha been j a im an f m ca ee and I ldn' be
he e I am da a a manage if I hadn' aid n a l f hing . B
kn , like man men I a i ed belie e ha if I a hel f l I
ld ge ahead and e eciall f me I e le lea e beca e I didn'
eall an ck he b a ca e m ch c nf n a i n. B
hen - hen I a a ing e e e ne el e I a eall a ing n
hing ha eall a ied me. I hink ha e fail eali e and ha I
failed eali e a l in m ca ee i ha he e f a ing n i eall
l ha ha made me and and im e m k. Tha i h I
am e ci ed alk ab hi da and h ef ll b ing a l f
c nfidence and finding h e ni ie h back.
S I eall am c i kn - a e hea ing m , I ld
like ee a ai e f hand f m an ne h can ela e and if n ha i
ka , b if can, can ela e a e a bi e helmed i h he
k a e d ing, ma be ggle find ime f hing ha
ma e ma be d e end ag ee i h e le h
d n' nece a il ag ee . Yeah, ha i ka , i ill c me n and
hen. I i j being a a e ha hi ff can ha en.
N if didn' eall ai e hand ha ' a e me, ha '
eall g ea b I an ackn ledge ha h gh ma n iden if
a a e le lea e me ne ha a e a l f hing ma
be king i h me ne ha d e . In gene al, e le lea e ca e f
and a em a he ic, i e, i e, c mm nl ai ha e ee in
men and f me I a hiding a l f m challenge behind a mile and
a can-d a i de n ne ld eall kn ha I a ggling
eall e le lea ing. S ne ime ma be a k me ne f a
e e eall a k elf, "Wha d he ha e n hei face?" And if
a e eeing ha he a e ggling ma be a e hel hem e ie
hei k a ell. I an a h a ing n i im an . I hink

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me ime , e eciall ea l in ca ee , hink an d
e e hing e h b hi i a ing hi i e all a
im an .
L f n mbe - elling. I did a li le bi f e ea ch b in
gene al I a n' i ed hen I f nd hi a i ic ha a e a
d ne and f all he men and men maj i f he men e le
lea e, n i ing, a e aid, men end be m e em a he ic
and h gh f l. Wha d e ha lead ? A I aid can ee in m le
I a j d ing m e k e ha me f m c - ke and f m a
e 55% f ke ac all a igned men he ea 45% f ha
k i a igned men. Wh i ha ? Ob i l f e le lea ing b
he e a e he ea n a ell. In gene al a men e end d m e
in i ible k. I i n j in k life, e end d m e in i ible
k and ma be n n- m i nal k. Ba icall he k ha men
ha e been a e i e a n e ha e d ing.
And I hink Wa en B ffe a i he be hen he a , "The
diffe ence be een cce f l e le and eall cce f l e le i ha
eall cce f l e le a n alm e e hing." I' e g ha
in m b ain.
S fi l a ing n i g ing c ea e f c n hing ha ma e .
An he e ha I emembe , le ' ee if I emembe i ell i b S e e
J b , "He a , "F c ing i al a ab a ing n ." If hink ab
ca ee g al make e a e hi ing hem and if d all f
e e ne el e' e e h d make e ha hi g al
and a n ack?
The he ne hich I eall l e i i i g ing e ec ime
beca e ime i a fini e e ce j a I a king la e nigh
d ing m k, ha a g ing lead b n and i ' e
im an e e ec ime, ene g , b al me, i i g ing

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e ec - i i g ing ea n e ec f m c - ke . If he
ee c ea ing h e b nda ie , a e n g ing k af e h
and I ill n e nd hi me age d ing m f c ime i i g ing
c ea e me eall en and h ne c n e a i n i h hem e j
a ing e me hing aigh a a . Thi i eall me hing ha I
eall e na e i h, a ing n ill f he ca ee , a m ch a
me ime hink, "H ill i ?" Le ' hink f all he g ea leade ha
kn da . The ha e c mm n ai in being a e i e in
delega ing and in i i i ing. We j eall need emembe h e and
emb d ha beca e ha ill hel la e n.
S I' e g a fe i n ha e c ld d a e le lea ing
b bef e I g in i I an kn h . S I'm g ing gi e h ee
cena i . Fi cena i , a e in a ne n ne i h manage and
bef e g in he ne n ne a e feeling a bi e helmed i h
he c en k ha a e d ing, a e nning a fe
diffe en ...and in he ne- n- ne he c me and he g ,
"The e i a ne ini ia i e ha i c ming ab I hink ld be g ea
a leading i ." S aigh a a i h hinking m ch g , "Yeah,
e, hank , I ill ha il d ha ." Then af e he ne- n- ne g
ai a min e I a al ead e helmed and n I ha e hi n m
la e. H am I g ing d e e hing. Tha i cena i ne.
Scena i a e king f m h me, ha e head h ne
n, eall g me m ic g ing in f c ime and me ne lack
and g , "A e f ee igh n j m n a ick call?" Y
head h ne ff and m ic d n and j m n ha call and all
k a ide. The he cena i i ha a e ac all n in he
ffice again, l g head h ne n a de k me ne c me
and a n he h lde and a , "I an eall n hi b
can I ge feedback?" Y a , "Of c e, e " ge f

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de k and hel hem. In all he cena i didn' hink m ch
and aid e aigh a a bef e hinking a ha me hing eall
an ed d ? S he e f m Vane a I f nd ha eall e na ed
i h me, "I ne f he m f ndamen al need i f cial c nnec i n
and feeling ha e bel ng. Sa ing n feel h ea ening
ela i n hi and ha feeling f c nnec edne ." The e a e man ea n
h e e le lea e h e a e hing bef e e e en eali e
ha i me hing e h ld be d ing. Fi l a men e a e i ed
hel igh a a ng age hel he and e ecei e i i e feedback
hen e d , hink back high ch l and ge ing g d g ade hel ing
m m a nd he h e and i i e m ch in na e a men,
e eciall i h cie al e e , be he ca e ake and n e and
he e le' need fi . I defini el an a i i c mmendable
f hel he in need, I ee i n e ching he k lace
he e e hink e h ld a e e e hing ha c me a . The
he hing i fea f c nflic . I ill be h ne , ha a me. A a eni
de igne back hen I did n an ha e a challenging c n e a i n i h
me ne, i a fa ea ie a e . The he hing i e eall d n'
an be een a diffic l . Y an kind f be een a he g -
e n a k and e eciall a men I hink e ha e e a cie al
e e . If e d n' d an hing e ma be e e ed af aid e
ill be e e ed a b m d . The he hing i - babl he
in e e ing ne i ma be a e ne an ind ca ee , a ing
a a de igne , I nde and hi i babl ne f he m
challenging ime h back beca e a e ing e elf
and make a g d im e i n I nde and ha b I am al g ing
c n ince ha hi i al a g ea ime c ea e a g d im e i n a
ell. Y ma be e le lea ing and a ing e e e hing beca e
an a m i n and e can ee ha all f he ni ie and

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e en me hen I a d ing all f h e hing I a ha a e idence
ge m ed he ne le el b m b a i a I am n eall
i i i ing m k.
A e a e king em el e ha e ace ime f c - ke and
manage and e ma be d ing m e han e h ld el
j ha e m e a and ela i n hi and be m e c nnec ed i h
em l ee .
S n I ill g in hing ha can d beca e e le lea ing
i ac all - i i a lea ned beha i and f me h ' g en e ha , i
ha been a l f ac ice and a l f c n ci eff . He e a e me
hing ha I a ed d . Fi l , ne eminde i eall ake ime
e nd. Y a e n bliged e nd igh a a . N he e a e
diffe en e f e e ha c me in, he e i a e e ha c me
in n i e in email and he e e i h me ne a ing n a
h lde if he a e in a mee ing. I nde and ha he a e diffe en
b he e n e h ld be he ame. Y h ld be eall ,
like - e eciall hen me ne i a ing n he h lde he e i like
an elemen f anic - ma be ha i me. I a e aigh a a ! B ill
ead me e hene e me ne' a ked me hing and
d n' eall kn if h ld d i n a ing hi , "I'm g ing
hink ab i and ge back a he end f he eek." Y a e
a ing end f he eek i i gi ing hem a li le bi f imeline b
a e n hing f an an e . If l d n' kn ha d j
a , "Le me ge back i h nce I check i h m manage ." Y can
eall ac ice h e en e and he ne ime me ne a k me d
me hing eall ake a ec nd and a k i hi ca ing e , d I
ac all ha e ime f i , ha ' he hing like, "Ye , e, I'll d i ."
Sa ha e g en a e e f m me ne and he a e ing
fig e i i ac all me hing I h ld d . Reall n m fa i e i

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i i i e hi . I e hi Ei enh e me h d hich ha hel ed me eali e
if hi i me hing gen and im an I h ld d me hing I
h ld j n d a all. If ha en' ed hi I eall ec mmend i .
I l e hi g .
An he hing ha e can defini el d a he han a ing a fla
n b I d an j emind ha n i a c m le e en ence, igh ?
Ye . B , e , I d n' an end i i h a b b e a e in a k lace
i h he , ...h ab e be a bi m e hel f l a a eam la e
and e can ide al e na i e can ma be a me hing like,
"Thi i n m a ea f e e i e b Am ld be be e hel in hi
a ea." (LAUGHTER) O I like d ing hi ne, "I can' ge i hi eek"
n a f ll n, fla n , b he e a e me e ce ha can hel in
he mean ime." I' e d ne ha a l . He e a e me lead can g ...
The he hing i - hi i f me a eall hel f l i ac ice
b a mall. We an b ild hei c nfidence e ime ma be
can a n me hing ha i n eall ha ca , he ale e n,
f me i a a ing n m f iend hen I g f c ffee b I j an
...j mall hing and can b ild c nfidence.
Al he he i i hing back gi ing feedback, if i i an hing
ha i challenging I ld be i ing e e hing d n. S ha ' eall
hel ed me ehea e a ell.
Al ne a f eall elling me ne a e b i b n elling
hem a all and b h ing i in hei calenda . C ea ing f c bl b n
calenda ill hel c mm nica e ha e n ha he n
g ing e nd igh a a , he i in he f c ime. And hi i eall ,
eall im an b e defini el an ackn ledge he e e ha i
c ming in. E e ne i ing d hei be e ha e i i e in en
b a men e h ld n be e a l gi ing. E eciall n
a l gi ing f he k e ha en' d ne. A a de igne and a manage I

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am e c n ci f he ime I ha e aid a k and be h ne
i i n ha f en. I f nd he a i ic and n' be i ed,
men a e 25% m e likel a han men. In ead f a ing
, e ill an ackn ledge he e e can a me hing
like, "A m ch a I l e a challenge and I eall a a ecia e fai h in
m abili ge hing d ne, I can' c mmi hi a I ha e al ead
i i i ed hi eek." J being eall a e i e, ha i e m ch a
ali e need be emembe ing.
La l , I an ackn ledge ha a ing n b i
babl g ing be m e in imida ing han a ing n c - ke
b a a manage i i i i make e ha a e n a
ca aci . I i he ame cena i , i i , "He I hink h ld k n
hi hing, a e e e helmed" i back he manage and
i back in hei c if he can hel i i i e. If can a
me hing like hi a manage ne ime, "Thank f hinking f me
f hi . If hi i a i i I can k n hi igh n b ha h ld
e de i i i e make ace f hi ." If m de igne aid ha me I
ld be e emel im e ed and ha j g e back h h e
kill , ha i a le el f h can e and h leade hi .
If he e i an hing end n I h e ha gi e c nfidence
emembe ha behind e e n he e i a e and eall n i n a ign
f eakne a all, i i ac all he i e. I i g ing h ha
ha e elf-a a ene , ha e ime managemen , i i i e
k, ha e eall g ea c mm nica i n kill a ell? F me, I kn
I ha e changed a l f m ha de igne e a back in he da and I
n - a a manage I babl ha e m e challenging ime f me a
n b I ea e e ime me ne a k me me hing and I can ei he
h back I ge e ci ed beca e ha i like an he ea n h m
h. Thank m ch. (APPLAUSE)

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MAGS HANLEY: Q e i n f Bena ?
>> I l e ha and I h e i i ...I ha e aff aining hem n i .
Beca e i i kill a l f e le d n' ha e ... k lace n i a
di ea e ... he k he h ld be d ing ...
>> I eak all f , e eciall hen a e ne and he a e
hing ini ia i e and a e n e ha can a n . I an ed
a k e e men i ning a bi ab f c ime and bl cking ha
f he calenda , h ld ec mmend d ing ha hen a e
king i h eam in diffe en hel e feed .
BENAZ IRANI: I k ac Ame ican ime ne and A alia and I
al ed d India a ell. Wi h ha I am e ec i e e m
ime. I d a ea l m ning . Tha mean I am e clea m eam
I ill be f h d ing he da . I a ed a 7am. I i all
ab c mm nica i n. We d e man al in m eam. A e g
a a e f e man al ? I i like a d c men ha c mm nica e
need , h like k and h like ge feedback and e e
eam membe ha ne and i eall c mm nica e need b I' e
d ne a calenda k h a ell called de igne calenda , i h he eam
and can h b hen e a e g ing f c and ha e mee ing
a ell a a eam.
>> I i like ...if I'm king in a eg la da I h ld be e nding n
f c ing n ha I need f c n.
MAGS HANLEY: Remembe Slack i a ickne . Y can a ...

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BENAZ IRANI: One f m de igne i e g d a ec ing he ime.
She ill ha e he f c ime and in he calenda i i like, "We ill be l
n Slack".
>> Like I aid ... e le ld a b k mee ing a 12 'cl ck.
Yeah, man, I'm ha ing l nch. I ld be like, "N , ha ' ha I'm
d ing" ...a eall g ea a ...Slack ha e e i i . Wha e a d
a a de ign eam i elf i e a and en h d e an e a e a
a eam, ha i en i nmen and e e e ...de ending n h ha
e n an ed k ma be he ill be be e in he m ning, ne da
a eek e an d hi and n e e e e F ida f n mee ing .
Y need me hing, he e i a half h ca in he af e n n and ha i
i , i gi e ha ace k in.
>> I' e g a e i n. I find i , I d n' kn if i ' j me, e he la
c le f ea a l ea ie a n and I n ice h bec me m e
al able a ell beca e in bec me m e eli e i i like, "She' b "
b I me ime feel like m d c i i i a - a nd m al e he
eam me ime hen he a e a king me e i n and an me I
feel like ha i di ec i h m al e , I can hel beca e ha hel
m elf-e eem and I hink I need ...ma be ac all n , b a ing n ,
i d e n' im ac m al e a a eam Pla e .
BENAZ IRANI: I hink la ea I had de igne and I a e m ch
like being a en i e hei need b he ill a k me e i n and I
a in fi e 10 min e I ill be ead f . Making e I fini h m
cl ing h gh beca e he migh hink Bena , he i j like ing
ab me m ch if he i al a a ailable he a hink ab

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m need . I hink ha ac all ha changed - he i aking a b eak, he
i ac all a ing n hing . She i heal hie a ell.
>> S i h he f c ime ha a e bl cking , i hin he eam,
beca e e can ee calenda ha i fine ...d ing me k, h d
manage ha ime i h he ... hen he an e a mee ing
l nch ime fi hing in he m ning hen ha e f c ime.
BENAZ IRANI: Tha i eall in e e ing and ha i h I am in-h e.
MAGS HANLEY: S e e hing I d i in calenda and I ba icall - I am
b king - al a b ked and m F ida all b ked and
he ef e I a m clien hi i hen e a e a ailable, le ' b k me
in a ha in in ime. If e e ne can' hen e can neg ia e an he
ime.
>> Beca e e a e ing d he ame hing and ha e ne da ha
he e i n mee ing and e e ne j f c e n hei k. I i eall
challenge beca e e e ne i king n he h ee - 10 diffe en
jec a he ame ime. Then he clien a e j g ing e en af e
elling hem i i l nch h e can' d hi mee ing a hi in nle i
i m , he g , "Then if e d i m ime ill be im ac ed"
and hen m ne , "Tha mean e ha e a hem and e d n' an
a an m e h d n' d i n ?" I i a diffic l balance, e
can' a e n b d i .
>> I ag ee m ime i m ne be c m le el h ne . S he clien
alen f mee ing I d i ill affec m b m line. S i h he
financial c n l anc d ing me hing ha ha a n mbe n i I hink

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eall la ing a he a he a k i h hem hi i h I
k i h and hi i h k i h me and hi i he
e ec a i n. Wha I f nd eall lidl e ing a lan and b inging
hem back ha mee ing b e ha e mee ing e ing h e a e
g ing k ge he , aid ld call me n T e da , hi i
Wedne da , eall b inging hem back ha imeline a e
m ch ime.
>> I hink e en like me hing I ha e d ne a ell and m b '
im e i n n h d hi i he ld bl ck he fi half h and
la half h f he da . Tha i c n i en . He a , "I bl ck ha
beca e ha i m ime ge e led f he da k hing f
he ne da ." If de e a el need me I can make ime in ha ace.
I i e ing he e ec a i n. I hink al ...calenda he e ill be ime
hen i ill be ...b be elf-a a e and c n ci and n make i a
habi . Tha ' - ing d ha .
>> Sh and ell e and ...b ilding ha ...c ea e ...
>> I eall like me f e am le , "I can' ge back i hi eek"
b al made a in ha "n " i ill a en ence. Ha e ed n
di ec l in a hile and h did ha k?
BENAZ IRANI: M e in e nal ela i n hi . Ab l el . I d k i h
me ne ha al a need m ime and and ml and l ng - a d c
manage a ell - I ha en' aid n a ne d b I ha e been e ,
e a e i e i h him and e , e h and I ha e been like, "I can'
ge hi igh n " and ha ' - I' e al ead aid I'm d ing hi and hi
and hen ha i i and if final hing i I' e n nlea hed he f,

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Page 62
"Wha a e he g ing hink hen I a i ?" Beca e back hen - ha
c me back feedback a ell I ed gi e me ne a ca hing and
a f eak and hen me g f a alk b n I'm j like, "C l, I j
h ed an ni ha I kn m b nda ie , I am being m e
a e i e and I d n' e en hink ab i m ch."
>> Once a e c nfiden and kn ha ha e made elf
al able and he ee a an a e can handle hem m ch be e .
Y can a n ... ha ' ha I ha e ...a e ka ? "Yeah, h ?" "Y
d n' l k ka ." "Y hink?" ...
>> Ha en' ed n a a f ll en ence in a li le hile b i i
e hila a ing.
MAGS HANLEY: Y e i j dici l .
>> ..i i fine, i i ka , ...calling n , and like, "N ", " eall ?"
"Oka ."
BENAZ IRANI: Y g c mf able d ing ha .
>> J c ming back nd a in ha a made in he e di ec i n a
hile ag , ne hing ha i ed me i ha I h gh e ld hink I
a a bi U ele beca e I c ldn' d ff, I am d ing a l f ff,
babl ab e le' h f j b kind f ff. When I a ed
ing he b nda ie e le h gh be e f me and m h inc ea ed
in hei e e and e en h gh I a d ing le , beca e I a balancing
m life i h m j b e le a me a m e al able and me ime
e le al a me a d ing m e. I aid n he ef e I m be

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Page 63
d ing ff.
>> Yeah, al a b . (LAUGHTER)
BENAZ IRANI: I'm d ing ha .
>> I can' emembe ha e e e alking ab b he e a a in
a nd d n' need a l gi e f he ea n a n and I had a
b n h if I en , "D ha e 10 min e " he ld a , "N , I'm
ac all d ing hi igh n and I n' be able gi e m f ll
a en i n I'll ha e d i hen." He didn' a l gi e f i b he ld
he h and i a , "Oh eah, c l." He ld al a hing like "can
j e ea ha ..." I i ef e hing hen me ne' like...
BENAZ IRANI: He a h ne .
>> (Ina dible) if e le c me me and ...I' e een email b I
c ldn' be b he ed an e ing, m e like being a hen ic, like, "A he
m men I d n' nde and ha a e a ing." F me I feel like if I
d n' h h I am hen n' ge ha an and a he ame
ime I ill end ...b he e le I an k i h I an be
nded i h a he han ing end m ch ene g ing
c n ince ha ha I an d f ... (LAUGHTER)
ANNABELLE ROBB: I hel , like I am me ne h ge a ked a l f
e i n a n a meb d a , "I ha e n idea ha mean" i
i like, "G ea I can alk an he a and e can ge a l i n
fa e " he ea if bea a nd he b h - eah, be an a en , and
hen I ill finall ge he e.

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Page 64
>> T an a enc and h ne ... manage he la e i n m elf.
>> I d ...
MAGS HANLEY: Di ec A ie in he US and he UK and di ec A ie
h gh ma k - I' e had n ma k a li a he le female eni in
IT and ha ne I hink ha been he ha de ne I feel n I'm f
ha , and cl e h ee ea f i , I feel a h gh ha ma k ha
g ne and i a ne e a hen ic me b i a defini el ha hing I
had n hile I a he e.
>> I ha e a e i n ha I lea n ab ...IT eam al ng ide f
indi id al ...b e e e - a he hea f hi ...magic beca e bef e
ha I ked in ... he ea i h hi i ill ake me h ee da ake
ha i h me. B e did i . We k i nb a d and m eam a
ge ing 50 e e ... e j aid i a in 24-48 m e
e e ...and if I an ed me hing fa i a b e ce i n. Beca e I can
j alk a a and hen a I did ha ...beca e he kne i a
e ce i nall fa and cl e ... a e ing he anda d and
c mm nica ing ha he akeh lde , ha ' hen i a ...I hink a
ha in a ell.
>> I am g il f ha a ell, e ing an e ec a i n b i i like,
"La ime did i ." I i a mi ing e .
BENAZ IRANI: Tha i h i i im an hen a e ne . I i he
m challenging ime b i i im an beca e a e e ing ha
g ea e ec a i n.

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Page 65
>> I had a CEO nce ha had a ja n hi de k i h big ck , all f c
n he big ck , n he mall ck . Beca e if I f c n he li le b
I'd be king in he eam m j b i ick and ch e ha I f c
n, he m im ac and fill he ja fa . I a like, "Oka ."
BENAZ IRANI: He a f c ed he ge ...a ed hel ing
i h e e ne el e.
>> We d ha m e.
MAGS HANLEY: One m e. N ? Thank m ch. (APPLAUSE) We
a e ead n ha e l nch. D ha e did la ime, j g nd
and ha e l nch in he e. Y can a he e if i h b i migh
be ea ie f m e he e i m e m.
ANNABELLE ROBB: We ill ha e an h l nch and d ing ha h e
ill an f m ha ace in a k h ace. Y ha e all been
egi e ed. If a e n e ab he e a e c me and find me
n igh n , cl e he ime, b hile e a e an f ming, j be
a ien and a a e e ill be m ing a fe hing a nd he i e e
ha e g i and e h ld be e and nning in ab 20 min e .
F l nch j g and e can en hi and can all c me
in.
MAGS HANLEY: S g ab ff.
ANNABELLE ROBB: Af e k h a he end f he da e ill all
c me ge he b he i e l nch i . A e me. Thank g .

View Slide

Benaz Irani - The power of ‘No’: Confessions of a former people pleaser

Benaz Irani - The power of ‘No’: Confessions of a former people pleaser

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Benaz Irani - The power of ‘No’: Confessions of a former people pleaser

Benaz Irani - The power of ‘No’: Confessions of a former people pleaser

uxaustralia PRO

More Decks by uxaustralia

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