The Hadoop ecosystem is vast, and there's a lot of conflicting information available about how to best secure any given implementation. It's also difficult to fix any mistakes made early on once an instance is put into production. In this paper, we demonstrate the currently accepted best practices for securing and Kerberizing Hadoop clusters in a vendor-agnostic way, review some of the not-so-obvious pitfalls one could encounter during the process, and delve into some of the theory behind why things are the way they are.