Fake It Till You Rewire It: Learn to Speak Up Even When Imposter Syndrome Screams "Shut Up"

In my talk, Fake It Till You Rewire It, I break down what imposter syndrome actually is, what triggers it, and, most importantly, what you can do about it. I share a practical, neuroscience-backed framework to help you start rewiring those patterns and finally back yourself properly.

In the related workbook, which you can find here, I take you through the process step by step.
You can download it here: https://forms.gle/CT5aBYm2F5w1zZ9f6

Not in a fluffy "just believe in yourself" way. In a real way.

The way I could learn for myself through the years.

If you've ever held back in meetings, talked yourself out of opportunities, or led others while quietly doubting yourself, this talk (and workbook) is for you.

You don't need more skills. You need your brain to believe in what you've already got.

Transcript

1. Fake It Till You Rewire It: Learn to Speak Up Even When Imposter Syndrome Screams ‘Shut Up’ Valentina Stragliotto Aligned & Free LinkedIn: ValentinaStragliotto IG: @alignedandfree_ | speakerdeck.com/alignedfree26
2. ME & MY WHY 2 “Who am I to talk about confidence?” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
3. ME & MY WHY 2 “Who am I to talk about confidence?” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
4. ME & MY WHY 2 “Who am I to talk about confidence?” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
5. ME & MY WHY 2 “Who am I to talk about confidence?” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
6. THE INNER VOICE 3 My brain before I do anything new: “I am not enough” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
7. THE INNER VOICE 3 My brain before I do anything new: “I am not enough” “Why would people listen to me” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
8. THE INNER VOICE 3 My brain before I do anything new: “I am not enough” “Why would people listen to me” “What if I fail?” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
9. THE INNER VOICE 3 My brain before I do anything new: “I am not enough” “Why would people listen to me” “What if I fail?” “If I fail, people will know I am a failure.” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
10. THE INNER VOICE 3 My brain before I do anything new: “I am not enough” “Why would people listen to me” “What if I fail?” “I am sure someone else can do this better than me.” “If I fail, people will know I am a failure.” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
11. THE INNER VOICE 3 My brain before I do anything new: “I am not enough” “Why would people listen to me” “I am not able to do this” “What if I fail?” “I am sure someone else can do this better than me.” “If I fail, people will know I am a failure.” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
12. THE INNER VOICE 3 My brain before I do anything new: “I am not enough” “Why would people listen to me” “I am not able to do this” “What if I fail?” “I am sure someone else can do this better than me.” “What if I let everyone down?” “If I fail, people will know I am a failure.” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
13. ICE BREAKER 4 Have you ever… /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
14. ICE BREAKER 4 Have you ever… Stayed quiet in a meeting even though you had the answer? /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
15. ICE BREAKER 4 Have you ever… Stayed quiet in a meeting even though you had the answer? Downplayed yourself when talking about your work, skills, or wins? /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
16. ICE BREAKER 4 Have you ever… Stayed quiet in a meeting even though you had the answer? Downplayed yourself when talking about your work, skills, or wins? Hesitated to go for the promotion, the pitch, the stage, or the new role? /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
17. ICE BREAKER 5 THEN YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT PLACE /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
18. THE INNER VOICE 6 And before we get going, let’s clarify something: /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
19. THE INNER VOICE 7 Hearing a voice inside of your head is normal!!! /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
20. 8 The imposter syndrome is a psychological state, in which people express self-doubt on their accomplishments and skills, despite factual evidence or other people indicating otherwise (Bravata et al., 2020)
21. WHAT WE CALL IT 5 Imposter syndrome rarely walks in wearing a name badge. /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
22. WHAT WE CALL IT 10 THE NEUROLOGICAL LOOP /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
23. MINDSET FIRST 11 Let’s talk mindset: Fixed mindset “If this feels hard, maybe I am not made for it.” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
24. MINDSET FIRST 12 Growth mindset “If this feels hard, I am learning something new.” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
25. MINDSET FIRST 12 Growth mindset “If this feels hard, I am learning something new.” If we treat every wobble like a personality diagnosis, we will always give up before we achieve anything. /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
26. THE FRAMEWORK 13 So, here’s the way I am embracing it: SSR /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
27. THE FRAMEWORK 13 So, here’s the way I am embracing it: SSR Spot it /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
28. THE FRAMEWORK So, here’s the way I am embracing it: SSR Spot it Shift it /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_ 13
29. THE FRAMEWORK So, here’s the way I am embracing it: SSR Spot it Shift it Rep it /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_ 13
30. THE FRAMEWORK So, here’s the way I am embracing it: SSR Spot it Shift it Rep it Disclaimer SSR only works if there is a real reason behind it. A strong “why” helps you stay in the room. /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_ 13
31. STEP 1 14 Spot It Name it until you understand it.
32. SCIENCE SPOTLIGHT 15 Remember: Your brain wants to protect you. Simple reframe That voice is not proof that you should stop. It is an old protection pattern trying to keep you familiar and safe. Try: “Thank you for trying to keep me safe but I’ve got this.” When you step out of your comfort zone, your threat system (Amygdala) can react as if something dangerous is happening. /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
33. IN PRACTICE 16 Catch it. Thank it. Do not obey it. 1. Catch it Notice the sentence your brain is repeating. /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
34. IN PRACTICE Catch it. Thank it. Do not obey it. 1. Catch it Notice the sentence your brain is repeating. 2. Thank it “Thanks for trying to protect me.” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_ 16
35. IN PRACTICE Catch it. Thank it. Do not obey it. 1. Catch it Notice the sentence your brain is repeating. 2. Thank it “Thanks for trying to protect me.” 3. Move On “This matters more than my discomfort right now.” /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_ 16
36. STEP 2 17 Shift It Reframe the signal as data /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
37. STEP 2 17 Shift It Reframe the signal as data Embrace it /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
38. STEP 2 17 Shift It Reframe the signal as data Embrace it Pause for five seconds, ground yourself, and ask /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
39. SCIENCE SPOTLIGHT 18 Growth mindset turns mistakes into opportunities Translation In simple words: if you change the meaning of the moment, you change what happens next. Fixed mindset says, “This is who I am.” Growth mindset says, “This is what I am learning.” Research links growth mindset to learning-oriented responses rather than identity-based panic. /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
40. IN PRACTICE 19 Challenge your old self Try: “I hear the old story. But the person I am now handles this differently.”
41. STEP 3 20 Rep it (Yes, like at the gym!!) Aka: Fake it till you rewire it. “Confidence comes with action” One rep feels awkward.
42. STEP 3 20 Rep it (Yes, like at the gym!!) Aka: Fake it till you rewire it. “Confidence comes with action” One rep feels awkward. Ten reps feel familiar.
43. STEP 3 20 Rep it (Yes, like at the gym!!) Aka: Fake it till you rewire it. “Confidence comes with action” One rep feels awkward. Ten reps feel familiar. Fifty reps start to feel like identity.
44. SCIENCE SPOTLIGHT 21 Your brain is lazy, surely not brave. Positive note Neuroplasticity is your ability to reorganise functions and, structures and responses to learnings. Repeated thoughts and actions strengthen pathways. NO MATTER THE AGE What you practice becomes easier to repeat. It prefers the easiest, most familiar path. That is why old patterns feel automatic.
45. 3 REPS 22 Three things to keep repping To change your mindset from the inside Visualisation (Not the woo woo kind) Log off the autopilot Log the small wins
46. CLOSING THOUGHT 23 The people you admire are not a different species. They have just been brave enough to keep moving through difficult moments. /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_
47. STAY CONNECTED 24 Questions? Keep the SSR framework with you! Download the whole toolkit through this link I’d love to hear your experience, feel free to message me! /in/valentinastragliotto @alignedandfree_