soars through a hazy fantasy sky. WALT SKREEEEEEEEE! We pan down to a lumbering barbarian, LINC THE WHITE HAIRED, slashing through the underbrush with a broadsword. LINCOLN doing his best manly voice narrates. LINCOLN V.0. A formidable barbarian in a world of chaos, LINC THE WHITE HAIRED, trudges through the marshes. LINC continues to make his way through swamplands accompanied by LINCOLN’s voice over. LINCOLN V.0. A towering, seasoned warrior, LINC is never outdone by ANY opponent! A massive CLIFF-LIKE SABERTOOTH lunges from the bushes howling and gnashing it’s large teeth at LINC. Unfazed in the presence of a giant foe, LINC roars back sending the CLIFF SABERTOOTH whimpering off-screen. LINCOLN V.0. Though as mighty as a warrior as he may be-- LINC looks off into the distance, tall and proud, hair blowing in the wind. LINCOLN V.0. LINC THE WHITE HAIRED suffers from an ancient curse. The curse of BOREDOM! LINC‘S posture deflates as he filled with ennui. With a sigh, our lethargic hero continues to traverse the marshes. A BLUR zips past LINC. LINC gets ready for yet another skirmish. The BLUR continues to whip all around LINC through the mire and trees. With a dramatic landing, the BLUR lands on a tree stump revealing itself to be none other than the warrior KA-LYDE (it’s Clyde looking like Grace Jones in Conan the Destroyer). Made in Highland
BO STAFF around his body. KA-LYDE Be easy, my fellow warrior. I mean you no harm! My name is KA-LYDE of the McBride Clan. LINC THE WHITE HAIRED Phew! I don’t know if I have it in me for another battle. KA-LYDE Wha--? But are you not a warrior? LINC THE WHITE HAIRED Aye, but I have been cursed with the most wicked of curses! The curse...OF BOREDOM! Shocked and filled with horror, KA-LYDE grips his chest. KA-LYDE NO! LINC THE WHITE HAIRED I’m afraid tis true, fellow traveler. I fear there is little to no hope for me. Begone lest my curse starts to afflict you too. KA-LYDE takes a moment to regain composure and ponders the situation. KA-LYDE There might be hope for you yet! There is tale of an ancient artifact that might remedy your ailment! A ghostly illusion of THE ANCIENT ARTIFACT--that looks awfully similar to the TV REMOTE-- materializes next to KA-LYDE as he speaks. KA-LYDE It is said that the ARTIFACT has the power to manipulate a black mirror with visions of adventure, romance, comedy and competitive baking challenges! Surely this will help alleviate your curse of boredom! 2. Made in Highland
know where this Artifact lies? KA-LYDE I do, follow me! The pair run-off with to start their journey for the artifact. EXT. STAIRS OF DOOM Our duo stand at the top of craggy mountainous stairs descending downwards. KA-LYDE The artifact is somewhere at the bottom of these stairs! LINC THE WHITE HAIRED shrugs and starts to walk forward before being stopped by KA-LYDE. KA-LYDE We should be careful, though! Who knows what dwells down there! LINC THE WHITE HAIRED Hrmm. You’re right. We should be be on guard for whatever monsters we come across down there. The two ready their weapons and cautiously descend the stairs. LINC THE WHITE HAIRED Look! Tis the mystical Black Mirror you spoke of! A ornamented Black Mirror (the TV) rests at the foot of the depths. KA-LYDE Aye! The artifact must be close then! A mystical swirl flashes within the mirror and the ghostly vision of “OPERATION DESSERT STORM” starts playing. We ZIP PAN over to reveal a gnarled, clawed foot resting on the artifact. LINC/KA-LYDE GASP! The artifact! 3. Made in Highland
out to reveal a large 10 Headed Hydra resting atop the remote. Each head vaguely resembles one of the sisters. KA-LYDE Hrmm, it appears a rather large beast is guarding the artifact. LINC THE WHITE HAIRED Dang it! We’ll have to be stealthy. Follow my lead, Ka-Lyde. I’ve got a plan! INT. THE DEPTHS As the 10 Headed beast lazily sits upon the remote, LINC and KA-LYDE stealthily traverse the Depths. LINC THE WHITE HAIRED Alright, Ka-Lyde, time to initiate Operation: Take-the-remote-from- the-ten-headed-beast-and-cure-the- curse-of-boredom! KA-LYDE We’ll extinguish this miasma of lethargy for you once and for all! A confused LINC blinks at KA-LYDE. LINC THE WHITE HAIRED Huh? KA-LYDE Don’t you ever read Ms. Johnson’s words of the day? OPERATION DESSERT STORM plays on the tv. LYNN BEAST HEAD Ugh, this is boring. Can one of you change the channel? LINC tries to reach for the remote but the BEAST shifts its weight picking up the artifact and changes the channel. With a flash THE DREAM BOAT appears on the black mirror. TEN HEADED BEAST (walla) Oooo!/Yay!/this is fine/ better etc. 4. Made in Highland
further out of LINC’S reach. A frustrated LINC stamps his feet knocking into KA-LYDE who stands behind him. KA-LYDE loses his footing and stumbles backwards stepping on a sleeping CHARLES DOG BEAST’s paw. CHARLES DOG BEAST Yip! Yip! Yip! The CHARLES DOG BEAST yips itself off-screen but it’s too late! The 10 HEADED BEAST has been alerted to our heroes’ presence. TEN HEADED BEAST (walla) Hey!/Watch it!/We’re trying to watch tv!/SHHH! Etc LINC chokes up on his broadsword. LINC THE WHITE HAIRED Alright, Ka-lyde, we’re gonna have to try plan B! TO BATTLE! With a bellowing war-cry, our duo rushes The 10 Headed Beast, weapons waving in the sky. The Beast nimbly evades their advances. TEN HEADED BEAST Watch it, Stinkin’!/Hey what’s the big idea/cut it out you two! Eyeing an opportunity to grab the remote, LINC sprints forward. The LUAN BEAST HEAD cuts him off flashing her braces reflecting a blast of blinding light. LINC THE WHITE HAIRED AGHHH! My eyes! Ka-Lyde whips his bo staff back and forth warding off encroaching beast heads as he walks backwards. Sneakily, one of the heads, lowers itself behind him. As Ka-Lyde continues walking backwards he trips over the head. KA-LYDE OOF! LINC THE WHITE HAIRED Ka-lyde! (turning head) Huh? The LOLA BEAST HEAD rushes towards LINC. 5. Made in Highland
broad sword hastily back and forth. A FLASH CARD as beast and sword collide (we don’t actually see the contact). THE LOLA BEAST HEAD rears its head back angrily. LOLA BEAST HEAD UGH! I’ve had it with this! MOOOMMMM! INT. LIVING ROOM SMASH CUT to the living room, the fantasy veil lifted. The sisters angrily tower over Lincoln and Clyde who are in their underwear/socks brandishing paper towel tubes as their fantasy weapons. LOLA LINCOLN AND CLYDE ARE PLAYING MAKE BELIEVE IN THEIR UNDERWEAR AGAIN! MOM walks into the living room. MOM Lincoln, if you’re gonna play make believe go outside and leave your sisters alone. Lincoln slumps over defeatedly. LINCOLN Come on, Clyde. The two walk off screen. LOLA (smugly) By the way, nice underoos, McBride. MOM LOLA! LOLA What? 6. Made in Highland
CLYDE Sorry we couldn’t cure your boredom, Lincoln. LINCOLN Ah, it’s okay. Besides, I was actually having a lot of fun playing make believe. CLYDE How about another adventure? The two brighten up. EXT. FANTASY LANDSCAPE SMASH CUT back into the fantasy. The two Warriors clang their weapons together triumphantly. LINC THE WHITE HAIRED How about a quest for the mythical thirst quenching Flippee? KA-LYDE Lead the way, friend! The Two giddily run to start another adventure. They pass by MR. GROUSE dressed like a WIZARD. GROUSE WIZARD sputters Put some clothes on, LOUD! END 7. Made in Highland
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