How To Properly Allocate The F*cks You Give - CocoaHeads NL, Utrecht, April 2019

C4861b1dfdf3bbb21faec4a1acdf183d?s=47 Ellen Shapiro
April 17, 2019
40

How To Properly Allocate The F*cks You Give - CocoaHeads NL, Utrecht, April 2019

The Dutch edition of my talk about "A pointer to something you care about", as the CocoaHeads Meetup page gently put it.

WARNING: Exceptionally foul language. Well, not that exceptional for me, but probably for most presentations on this site.

Abstract:

📣 If you are offended by wildly improper language, you probably ought to have stopped reading after the talk title, but you should definitely not read the rest of this description. 📣

We've all seen the memes of a person gleefully gesturing in the direction of the fucks they don't give, and the self-help books about how not to give a fuck. But what if the true challenge was not how to not give a fuck, but how to properly allocate the fucks that you do give? Ellen will talk about her lifelong challenge with over-allocation of fucks, the temptation to give zero fucks whatsoever, and some thoughts and techniques she's been using to balance what fucks to give.

C4861b1dfdf3bbb21faec4a1acdf183d?s=128

Ellen Shapiro

April 17, 2019
Tweet

Transcript

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    !

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    HOW TO PROPERLY ALLOCATE THE FUCKS YOU GIVE COCOAHEADS NL

    | UTRECHT | APRIL 2019 BAKKENBAECK.NO | JUSTHUM.COM | @DESIGNATEDNERD
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    class ViewController: UIViewController { var enormousChunkOfData: Data? func didReceiveMemoryWarning() {

    super.didReceiveMemoryWarning() // Dispose of resources that can be recreated. } }
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    class You: Human { var fucksGiven = [Fuck]() func didGetIncrediblyStressedOut()

    { super.didGetIncrediblyStressedOut() self.fucksGiven.removeAll() } }
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    class You: Human { var fucksGiven = [Fuck]() func didGetIncrediblyStressedOut()

    { super.didGetIncrediblyStressedOut() // self.fucksGiven.removeAll() } }
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    class You: Human { var fucksGiven = [Fuck]() func didGetIncrediblyStressedOut()

    { super.didGetIncrediblyStressedOut() // self.fucksGiven.removeAll() self.fucksGiven.remove(where: { !$0.isCritical }) } }
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    FUCKING OBLIGATORY SUMMARY SLIDE ▸ Consider a fuck given a

    pointer to something you care about ▸ Not giving any fucks just makes you an insufferable asshole
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    FUCKING OBLIGATORY SUMMARY SLIDE ▸ Consider a fuck given a

    pointer to something you care about ▸ Not giving any fucks just makes you an insufferable asshole ▸ Giving too many fucks will lead to Fuck Overflow (aka burnout)
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    FUCKING OBLIGATORY SUMMARY SLIDE ▸ Consider a fuck given a

    pointer to something you care about ▸ Not giving any fucks just makes you an insufferable asshole ▸ Giving too many fucks will lead to Fuck Overflow (aka burnout) ▸ Fucks must be manually managed, and re-evaluated frequently
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    FUCKING OBLIGATORY SUMMARY SLIDE ▸ Consider a fuck given a

    pointer to something you care about ▸ Not giving any fucks just makes you an insufferable asshole ▸ Giving too many fucks will lead to Fuck Overflow (aka burnout) ▸ Fucks must be manually managed, and re-evaluated frequently ▸ Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck
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    LINKS! The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuck

    The Number of Fucks in Deadwood http://www.thewvsr.com/deadwood.htm
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    WHAT IS THE BEST TECHNICAL DECISION VS. WHAT IS BEST

    FOR THE USER VS. WHAT THE CLIENT WANTS
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