The paradox of anxiety

Transcript

1. The Paradox Everything you thought you knew about anxiety is wrong. From Anxiety to Ease —The Legal Edition
2. Anxiety doesn’t feel good.  Ruminating thoughts — going back and thinking of things over, and over, and over again.  Uncomfortable physical sensations — such as a tightness in your chest or throat.  An upset stomach. Copyright 2020 Ellen Schlesinger and Melanie Goela
3. Because anxiety feels terrible… There’s an intense pressure, or deep desire, to get rid of anxiety. There’s also a real sense in this culture that we shouldn’t be anxious; we shouldn’t be stressed. Copyright 2020 Ellen Schlesinger and Melanie Goela
4. The paradox Although (and understandably) we want to stop feeling so terrible immediately, right now, the more we try to crush anxiety or distract ourselves from anxiety, the more it just stays there, festers, or increases. Copyright 2020 Ellen Schlesinger and Melanie Goela
5. A metaphor for anxiety: Oscar the Grouch This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY- ND Copyright 2020 Ellen Schlesinger and Melanie Goela
6. Anxiety is like Oscar the Grouch Oscar is always irritable, upset and complaining - nothing really ever goes right for him. Oscar peers his head out of the trash can, angry and frustrated – just like anxiety. Of course, we don’t want to be Oscar the Grouch, so we try to push Oscar back in his trash can and put the lid on tight, so that he never emerges or disturbs us again. Copyright 2020 Ellen Schlesinger and Melanie Goela
7. In fact, Oscar (anxiety) often just gets louder and louder! The challenge is when we push Oscar back into his trash can, and lock him in there, he’ll just bang on the sides of the trash can. Copyright 2020 Ellen Schlesinger and Melanie Goela
8. An alternative relationship to anxiety We slowly release the lid of anxiety (slowly release the lid of the trash can), gently open it, gradually peer in, and approach anxiety (Oscar), and listen to what he has to say. Copyright 2020 Ellen Schlesinger and Melanie Goela
9. Anxietyis a natural biological response to something that we might interpret as fearful, something that we (our brain) might interpret as harming our survival. One way of looking at anxiety is: Congratulations, your body is working! Your body is doing exactly as it’s been designed to do! Anxiety is not bad unless we think it is Copyright 2020 Ellen Schlesinger and Melanie Goela
10. Within the legal profession, and within our society, there’s so much on us -so many work related, family related and financially related responsibilities. A lot of things have come to appear (understandably) like they are threatening our survival. For example, having too much on our plates, and no one seeing just how much we may be drowning, feels like a threat to our survival. Copyright 2020 Ellen Schlesinger and Melanie Goela
11. “Everything you might have thought about anxiety is wrong” means: Contrary to what you’ve come to learn, you’re not wrong or bad to experience anxiety; you’re not failing when you’re experiencing anxiety, rather: anxiety is a signal that something is off. Anxiety is a warning that something has to be looked at. Copyright 2020 Ellen Schlesinger and Melanie Goela
12. How can we gently turn towards Oscar the Grouch (anxiety) so that we might hear what he has to say, or to offer him compassion and care? The goal is to hear our inner spirit, wisdom, or guidance about what we really need, in order to relieve the stressors around us, to get our needs met, and feel nourished. Turning towards anxiety Copyright 2020 Ellen Schlesinger and Melanie Goela
13. Remember, it’s okay that you are experiencing what you’re experiencing. Copyright 2020 Ellen Schlesinger and Melanie Goela