Courtship Seminar, Session 3

Transcript

1. From the Couples’ Perspective Courting Part III: Courting from the Couple’s Perspective April 10, 2011 Grace Bible Fellowship Church
2. Purpose of Session •  Looking at Courting from the Couple’s Perspective: –  Brad and RJ: Long distance –  Andrew and Elizabeth: Went to school together –  Blake and Kathleen: Went to church together 2
3. Session Schedule •  Each couple will present in turn •  Participation and questions are highly encouraged through out each session. •  We may run past 8:30 pm, but feel free to leave at that time if you have to go 3
4. Introduction (Reminder) •  There are biblical principles that can be followed although there is no single application. •  Courtship is not specifically mandated in Scripture. •  There is not a specific set of guidelines — each situation may be different. •  No set of guidelines will lead to a perfect courtship. •  A successful courtship may only lead to friendship. 4
5. Our Definitions for this Seminar: •  Dating—often recreational relationships with the opposite sex •  Courtship—one man, one woman working with their parents and/or other spiritual leaders to discern if they are life partners •  Engagement—a couple and parents agree the couple should be life partners and are now entering a period to finalize preparations for marriage •  Marriage—the consummation of the courtship as the couple commit to spend their lives together •  Note: Older couples or different parental situations could lead to others being involved. Principle: seek wise counsel and protection. 5
7. Brad and RJ’s Story The Long Distance Courtship
8. Meeting on the Internet • Use of the Internet should not be feared – It is very convenient for holding daily conversations – Parents can monitor approved public or private communication – It allows more options in a distance or time- constrained relationship • It should not be deemed “harmless” – Internet communication is just as real as face- to-face 8
9. Meeting on the Internet (continued) – Relationships can be started or continue to develop – Inappropriate flirting is easy 9
10. Long Distance Relationships • RJ's challenges with feelings and insecurity • Our visits – We did both special and mundane activities together – A key to courtship is seeing each other in daily life - we lived with her parent’s for up to two weeks at a time 10
11. Long Distance Relationships(continued) • Communication – Most of our relationship growth happened over the phone – Frequent, quality conversation was key – Joint Bible studies and theological conversations were helpful 11
12. Timing and Schooling • We couldn't get married until Brad had a full-time job – Almost 3 years from first sanctioned communication to marriage – The relationship created a distraction and hard balance of priorities for Brad – Individual scenarios will vary - Ensure you have evaluated your priorities carefully and assessed your situation 12
13. Q&A
14. Andrew & Elizabeth Palmer A story of Biblical Love April 10, 2011 Grace Bible Fellowship Church
15. Andrew and Elizabeth • Background Born January 9th, 1990 in McKinney, TX, the fourth out of five children to Allen and Brenda Moved to Ohio at 3 years old Became a Christian around 6 or 7 Back to Texas at 8 Homeschooled with all the siblings Around 13, took Starting Points, then first year of World Views Curriculum by Dana Tillman 15
16. Andrew and Elizabeth • Background Born October 9th, 1990 in Sulphur Springs, TX Saved at 6 years old Moved to McKinney in the 3rd grade Homeschooled from K-12 At 13 started the First Year of Worldview Graduated from High School at 17 16
17. Andrew and Elizabeth • How they met – Really Andrew’s story, first had his eye on Elizabeth at WorldView campout in fall of 2006 – First became “friends with a purpose” during spring/summer of 2007 • Interacted through group settings. i.e. youth group, family outings, friend outings • Communication in friendship stage 17
18. Andrew and Elizabeth • Courting process – First talked with Elizabeth’s father about an interest in Elizabeth during fall of 2008 • “Interrogation” phase for about six weeks – Interaction with each other increased in time, as well as topics that became more comfortable to talk about – Lasted around six months 18
19. Andrew and Elizabeth • Engagement – Became engaged on February 28th, 2009 – “Guinea pigs” of GBCM pre-marital counseling along with Brandon and Stephanie Shook – Engagement lasted for 6 months 19
20. Andrew and Elizabeth • Marriage – Married on August 15th, 2009 – Key Principles from Courtship that helped us along the way • Communication • Forgiveness • Keeping Christ Centered 20
21. Q & A
22. Blake and Kathleen Our Story
23. Pre Courtship Commitments • Goal to please God • Pursuing God’s plan for our future • Be an example to those around us with those of the opposite gender • Blake’s Commitments • Kathleen’s Commitments
24. The Spying Phase •  We had extensive opportunities to “spy” on each other at church functions • Kathleen first noticed and was attracted to Blake’s character and similar life goals • Blake was first attracted to Kathleen’s maturity, spiritual goals, and walk with Christ
25. Learning to Surrender •  Kathleen wanted to keep her commitments •  Blake wanted to be wise in timing from a spiritual and financial sense, and determine Kathleen’s interest •  We were careful in our interaction •  We learned to trust God and be selfless with each other even before we were in a relationship •  We found accountability in those watching us
26. Our Pre-Courtship Phase • NANC Biblical Counseling Conference - an opportunity to spend time together • Blake talked to Kathleen’s Dad • Afterwards, we began e-mailing
27. Courtship! • Our parents allowed us to establish our rules • We limited phone conversations…at first • We spent time with each other’s families • We prayed and did Bible studies together • Our goal was always to be a good example and help each other grow in Christ
28. Challenges •  Blake thought he would be the courtship expert dude •  Kathleen struggled with change and was cautious •  We both discovered areas we needed to change and grow •  When we had questions and challenges we would discuss them with our parents, each other, and go to God’s Word •  Our challenges ALWAYS brought us closer together
29. Engagement • How we knew that we knew • The Mansion, the Corvette, and the Ring • Wedding planning and making life decisions together helped us learn how to be more selfless • Pre-marital counseling
30. Our Happily Ever After! • How courtship has affected our marriage • Ways God is changing and growing us • Marriage is amazingly beautiful when God is first!
31. Q & A