Hacking Your Emotional API 2.10

Being a good developer isn't just about slinging code; we're part of a community. Interacting with others in a community means feelings are involved.
But feelings are messy and uncomfortable, so why can't you just ignore them? Because emotional skills are critical for working well on a team, and for writing code every day.
In this talk you’ll learn how emotions are affecting you by modeling them as an API and looking at the code.

Transcript

1. Hacking Your Emotional APIv2.10
2. Hacking Your Emotional APIv2.10
3. @emotionalAPI John Sawers Engineering Manager at Privia Health @emotionalapi @johnksawers http://emotionalapi.com he/his/him
4. “Emotions just make so much sense to me” — No One Ever
5. @emotionalAPI • Cry • Make a Scene • Whine • Yell Don’t
6. @emotionalAPI Do • • • •
7. @emotionalAPI We’re on our own
8. Endpoints @emotionalAPI
9. Middleware @emotionalAPI delete /job/12 put /events/mother/visit put /baby/new post /people/co-worker/insult get /people/boss/compliment /feels/sadness
 /feels/anger
 /feels/fear
 /feels/anger
 /feels/pride Senses Wetware Inputs
10. Middleware @emotionalAPI delete /job/12 put /events/mother/visit put /baby/new post /people/co-worker/insult get /people/boss/compliment /feels/love
 /feels/anger
 /feels/fear
 /feels/shame
 /feels/pride Senses Wetware Inputs
11. Methods delete '/job/:id'
 100.times do
 Thread.new(post('/feels/fear')
 end
 20.times do
 Thread.new(post('/feels/sadness')
 end
 end @emotionalAPI
12. @emotionalAPI A Public API The Bad News
13. Decomposability @emotionalAPI
14. “But feelings are icky, and I don’t wanna” — You, probably
15. “Trying not to feel something doesn’t work, and in some cases even backfires” David Rock Your Brain At Work[11]
16. @emotionalAPI Problems
17. @emotionalAPI Problems
18. @emotionalAPI Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1]
19. @emotionalAPI Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1] • Poorer Short Term Memory [2]
20. @emotionalAPI Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1] • Poorer Short Term Memory [2] • Lower ability to handle stress and cope with crisis [3]
21. @emotionalAPI Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1] • Poorer Short Term Memory [2] • Lower ability to handle stress and cope with crisis [3] • More self-absorbed [6]
22. @emotionalAPI Benefits • "[people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships“ [4]
23. @emotionalAPI Benefits • "[people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships“ [4] • “…in improved behavior but [also] in measurable academic achievement.” [5]
24. @emotionalAPI Benefits • "[people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships“ [4] • “…in improved behavior but [also] in measurable academic achievement.” [5] • “…measurable health advantage”[6]
25. @emotionalAPI Benefits • "[people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships“ [4] • “…in improved behavior but [also] in measurable academic achievement.” [5] • “…measurable health advantage”[6] • “Subjects [who] feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7]
26. @emotionalAPI Benefits • "[people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships“ [4] • “…in improved behavior but [also] in measurable academic achievement.” [5] • “…measurable health advantage”[6] • “Subjects [who] feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7] • Empathy++
27. @emotionalAPI Benefits • "[people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships“ [4] • “…in improved behavior but [also] in measurable academic achievement.” [5] • “…measurable health advantage”[6] • “Subjects [who] feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7] • Empathy++ • Better career advancement[8]
28. @emotionalAPI "It wasn't enough to merely be a good engineer at Valve. If you were a good engineer with zero communication skills your chances at surviving and thriving when I was there were pretty low. If you acted like an asshole and didn't have many friends it didn't matter how good you were or how awesome your accomplishments were. People like this would be fired sooner or later." - Rich Geldreich
29. Scenarios
30. @emotionalAPI Degraded Cognition
31. @emotionalAPI Advocate for Ideas
32. @emotionalAPI Code Reviews
33. @emotionalAPI Distraction
34. @emotionalAPI Problematic Teammates
35. @emotionalAPI Impostor Syndrome
36. @emotionalAPI Interviewed, Hired, Fired
37. @emotionalAPI Manage & Mentor
38. http://frontside.io/ Senior Software Developer
39. Toolkit
40. @emotionalAPI Level 1: Conceptual Tools Level 2: On Your Own Level 3: With Someone Else Level 4: With a Group
41. @emotionalAPI Level 1 Conceptual Tools
42. @emotionalAPI You Control The Implementation
43. @emotionalAPI You can control where and when you express your feelings (But you don’t have to)
44. @emotionalAPI get('/feels/anger').perform_later
45. @emotionalAPI They Don’t Mean Anything
46. @emotionalAPI Fear of Loss of Control
47. @emotionalAPI Feelings are Enumerable, not Boolean Anger Disgust Shame
48. @emotionalAPI There Is No Should
49. @emotionalAPI Emotional Debt
50. @emotionalAPI “Even if it feels bad, it’s ok to let it feel bad. Eventually you’ll stop feeling bad because feelings just don’t last very long” Amy Cuddy Presence[13]
51. @emotionalAPI Level 2 On Your Own
52. @emotionalAPI Move Your Body
53. @emotionalAPI Move Your Body Dancing • Singing • Exercise
54. @emotionalAPI Rubber Duck Debugging
55. @emotionalAPI “…consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.” David Rock Your Brain At Work[10]
56. @emotionalAPI Yup, talking
57. @emotionalAPI The Feel Wheel[12]
58. @emotionalAPI “I feel” vs. “I am”
59. @emotionalAPI Emotional Retro
60. @emotionalAPI Level 3 With Another Person
61. @emotionalAPI Again, Talking
62. @emotionalAPI Feel first
63. @emotionalAPI Bring In A Consultant
64. @emotionalAPI Level 4 With A Group
65. @emotionalAPI How did I get here? “…an intensive 20-hr Weekend Retreat in which you will explore your erroneous belief systems, learn to appropriately express emotions in a manner that heals…” Purpose • Passion • Peace http://aliceamos.me/p3retreat/
66. GET /feels/
67. @emotionalAPI delete /v5/parents/marriage
 
 post /v6/parents/:dad_id/set_emotional_distance/1000
 
 post /v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer
 
 delete /v17/parents/:dad_id
68. @emotionalAPI /v5 delete /v5/parents/marriage do
 20.times.do {
 Thread.new(get('/feels/fear'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/blame'))
 }
 delete('/feels/self_worth')
 end
69. @emotionalAPI /v8 post /v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer do
 20.times.do {
 Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/fear'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 }
 end
70. @emotionalAPI /v17 def /v17/parents/:dad_id do
 1000.times.do {
 Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))
 Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 }
 end
71. @emotionalAPI Narrator: It did not blow over
72. @emotionalAPI Stack Trace NoMethodError - undefined method `paternal_approval’ for BossClass: /me/feels/panic.rb:9:in `initialize' /me/feels/love/daddy:14:in `none_for_you’ /me/feels/fear/mistake/guaranteed_to_be_fired:21:in `realize_mistake’ /me/events/releases/prod/bug_count/metrics.rb:39:in `count_bugs’
73. @emotionalAPI Stack Trace NoMethodError - undefined method `paternal_approval’ for BossClass: /me/feels/panic.rb:9:in `initialize' /me/feels/love/daddy:14:in `none_for_you’ /me/feels/fear/mistake/guaranteed_to_be_fired:21:in `realize_mistake’ /me/events/releases/prod/bug_count/metrics.rb:39:in `count_bugs’
74. “Crying doesn’t indicate you are weak, since birth it has always been a sign to indicate you are alive” — attributed to Charlotte Brontë
75. @emotionalAPI /v17 def /v17/parents/:dad_id do
 1000.times.do {
 Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))
 Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 }
 end
76. @emotionalAPI Diff def /v17/parents/:dad_id do
 1000.times.do { 500.times.do {
 Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))
 Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 }
 end
77. @emotionalAPI Diff get /me/events/releases/prod/bugs/count_high do
 Thread.new(get('/feels/unloved'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/panic'))
 puts 'oops'
 fix_it
 move_on
 end
78. @emotionalAPI Baggage
79. @emotionalAPI The Ultimate Goal
80. Soft Skills Super Hard Skills
81. @emotionalAPI Best Practices
82. @emotionalAPI Pick One Thing
83. @emotionalAPI Compassion
84. DEEP BREATH
85. @emotionalAPI Thank You So Much Slides: https://speakerdeck.com/johnksawers/hacking-your-emotional-api-2-dot-10 Videos: http://emotionalapi.com Twitter: @emotionalAPI Happy to answer questions one-on-one Come get a feel wheel!
86. @emotionalAPI Sign up at http://emotionalapi.com/ to get the Quick Reference The next P3 workshop is October 4-6 in Boca Raton, FL http://aliceamos.me/p3retreat https://www.p3workshops.com/
87. @emotionalAPI References [1],[2] “…a lack of power impairs our cognitive function.’ Amy Cuddy, Presence 119 [3] “In fact, people who have a high sense of personal control…cope significantly better in crisis…because their executive functions are intact” Amy Cuddy, Presence, 136 [4] “The [people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships” Smith, P.K., Dijkterhuis, A, & Wigbuldus, D.H. Psychology Science, 19, 1258-1259 [5] “Helping children improve their self-awareness and confidence, manage their disturbing emotional impulses and increase their empathy pays off not just in improved behavior but in measurable academic achievement.” — Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xi [6] “Those who can mange their emotional lives with more calm and self-awareness … have … distinct and measurable health advantage … confirmed by many studies” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xi [7] “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.” Amy Cuddy, Presence 127 [8] “…having high leadership potential were far stronger in EI competencies…” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xiii [9] “Powerlessness makes us self-absorbed” Amy Cuddy, Presence 121 [10] “…when they were asked to name the emotion, the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex activated and reduced the emotional amygdala reactivity. In other words, consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.” David Rock, Your Brain At Work 127 [11] Gross found that people who tried to suppress a negative emotional experience failed to do so. While they thought they looked fine outwardly, inwardly their limbic system was just as aroused as without suppression. Trying not to feel something doesn’t work, and in some cases even backfires. David Rock, Your Brain At Work 119 [12] The Feeling Wheel http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/036215378201200411 [13] Valve https://richg42.blogspot.com/2017/09/things-learned-while-running-your-own.html