Hacking Your Emotional API 2.10

Being a good developer isn't just about slinging code; we're part of a community. Interacting with others in a community means feelings are involved.
But feelings are messy and uncomfortable, so why can't you just ignore them? Because emotional skills are critical for working well on a team, and for writing code every day.
In this talk you’ll learn how emotions are affecting you by modeling them as an API and looking at the code.

Transcript

1. Hacking Your Emotional APIv2.10
   

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2. Hacking Your Emotional APIv2.10
   

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3. @emotionalAPI
   John Sawers
   Engineering Manager at Privia Health
   @emotionalapi
   @johnksawers
   http://emotionalapi.com
   he/his/him
   

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4. “Emotions just make so much sense to me”
   — No One Ever
   

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5. @emotionalAPI
   • Cry
   • Make a Scene
   • Whine
   • Yell
   Don’t
   

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6. @emotionalAPI
   Do
   •
   •
   •
   •
   

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7. @emotionalAPI
   We’re on our own
   

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8. Endpoints
   @emotionalAPI
   

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9. Middleware
   @emotionalAPI
   delete /job/12
   put /events/mother/visit
   put /baby/new
   post /people/co-worker/insult
   get /people/boss/compliment
   /feels/sadness

   /feels/anger

   /feels/fear

   /feels/anger

   /feels/pride
   Senses
   Wetware
   Inputs
   

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10. Middleware
    @emotionalAPI
    delete /job/12
    put /events/mother/visit
    put /baby/new
    post /people/co-worker/insult
    get /people/boss/compliment
    /feels/love

    /feels/anger

    /feels/fear

    /feels/shame

    /feels/pride
    Senses
    Wetware
    Inputs
    

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11. Methods
    delete '/job/:id'

    100.times do

    Thread.new(post('/feels/fear')

    end

    20.times do

    Thread.new(post('/feels/sadness')

    end

    end
    @emotionalAPI
    

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12. @emotionalAPI
    A Public API
    The Bad News
    

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13. Decomposability
    @emotionalAPI
    

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14. “But feelings are icky, and I don’t wanna”
    — You, probably
    

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15. “Trying not to feel something
    doesn’t work, and in some cases
    even backfires”
    David Rock
    Your Brain At Work[11]
    

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16. @emotionalAPI
    Problems
    

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17. @emotionalAPI
    Problems
    

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18. @emotionalAPI
    Problems
    • Poorer Executive Function [1]
    

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19. @emotionalAPI
    Problems
    • Poorer Executive Function [1]
    • Poorer Short Term Memory [2]
    

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20. @emotionalAPI
    Problems
    • Poorer Executive Function [1]
    • Poorer Short Term Memory [2]
    • Lower ability to handle stress and cope with crisis [3]
    

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21. @emotionalAPI
    Problems
    • Poorer Executive Function [1]
    • Poorer Short Term Memory [2]
    • Lower ability to handle stress and cope with crisis [3]
    • More self-absorbed [6]
    

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22. @emotionalAPI
    Benefits
    • "[people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating
    information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships“ [4]
    

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23. @emotionalAPI
    Benefits
    • "[people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating
    information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships“ [4]
    • “…in improved behavior but [also] in measurable academic achievement.” [5]
    

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24. @emotionalAPI
    Benefits
    • "[people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating
    information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships“ [4]
    • “…in improved behavior but [also] in measurable academic achievement.” [5]
    • “…measurable health advantage”[6]
    

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25. @emotionalAPI
    Benefits
    • "[people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating
    information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships“ [4]
    • “…in improved behavior but [also] in measurable academic achievement.” [5]
    • “…measurable health advantage”[6]
    • “Subjects [who] feel powerful judged emotional expression more
    accurately.”[7]
    

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26. @emotionalAPI
    Benefits
    • "[people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating
    information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships“ [4]
    • “…in improved behavior but [also] in measurable academic achievement.” [5]
    • “…measurable health advantage”[6]
    • “Subjects [who] feel powerful judged emotional expression more
    accurately.”[7]
    • Empathy++
    

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27. @emotionalAPI
    Benefits
    • "[people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating
    information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships“ [4]
    • “…in improved behavior but [also] in measurable academic achievement.” [5]
    • “…measurable health advantage”[6]
    • “Subjects [who] feel powerful judged emotional expression more
    accurately.”[7]
    • Empathy++
    • Better career advancement[8]
    

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28. @emotionalAPI
    "It wasn't enough to merely be a good engineer at
    Valve. If you were a good engineer with zero
    communication skills your chances at surviving and
    thriving when I was there were pretty low. If you
    acted like an asshole and didn't have many friends it
    didn't matter how good you were or how awesome
    your accomplishments were. People like this would
    be fired sooner or later."
    - Rich Geldreich
    

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29. Scenarios
    

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30. @emotionalAPI
    Degraded Cognition
    

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31. @emotionalAPI
    Advocate for Ideas
    

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32. @emotionalAPI
    Code Reviews
    

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33. @emotionalAPI
    Distraction
    

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34. @emotionalAPI
    Problematic Teammates
    

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35. @emotionalAPI
    Impostor Syndrome
    

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36. @emotionalAPI
    Interviewed, Hired, Fired
    

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37. @emotionalAPI
    Manage & Mentor
    

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38. http://frontside.io/
    Senior
    Software
    Developer
    

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39. Toolkit
    

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40. @emotionalAPI
    Level 1: Conceptual Tools
    Level 2: On Your Own
    Level 3: With Someone Else
    Level 4: With a Group
    

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41. @emotionalAPI
    Level 1
    Conceptual Tools
    

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42. @emotionalAPI
    You Control The Implementation
    

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43. @emotionalAPI
    You can control where and
    when you express your feelings
    (But you don’t have to)
    

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44. @emotionalAPI
    get('/feels/anger').perform_later
    

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45. @emotionalAPI
    They Don’t Mean Anything
    

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46. @emotionalAPI
    Fear of Loss of Control
    

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47. @emotionalAPI
    Feelings are Enumerable, not
    Boolean
    Anger
    Disgust
    Shame
    

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48. @emotionalAPI
    There Is No Should
    

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49. @emotionalAPI
    Emotional Debt
    

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50. @emotionalAPI
    “Even if it feels bad, it’s ok to let it feel
    bad. Eventually you’ll stop feeling bad
    because feelings just don’t last very long”
    Amy Cuddy
    Presence[13]
    

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51. @emotionalAPI
    Level 2
    On Your Own
    

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52. @emotionalAPI
    Move Your Body
    

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53. @emotionalAPI
    Move Your Body
    Dancing • Singing • Exercise
    

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54. @emotionalAPI
    Rubber
    Duck
    Debugging
    

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55. @emotionalAPI
    “…consciously recognizing
    the emotions reduced their
    impact.”
    David Rock
    Your Brain At Work[10]
    

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56. @emotionalAPI
    Yup, talking
    

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57. @emotionalAPI
    The Feel Wheel[12]
    

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58. @emotionalAPI
    “I feel” vs. “I am”
    

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59. @emotionalAPI
    Emotional
    Retro
    

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60. @emotionalAPI
    Level 3
    With Another Person
    

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61. @emotionalAPI
    Again, Talking
    

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62. @emotionalAPI
    Feel first
    

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63. @emotionalAPI
    Bring In A Consultant
    

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64. @emotionalAPI
    Level 4
    With A Group
    

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65. @emotionalAPI
    How did I get here?
    “…an intensive 20-hr Weekend Retreat in which you will
    explore your erroneous belief systems, learn to
    appropriately express emotions in a manner that heals…”
    Purpose • Passion • Peace
    http://aliceamos.me/p3retreat/
    

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66. GET /feels/
    

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67. @emotionalAPI
    delete /v5/parents/marriage

    

    post /v6/parents/:dad_id/set_emotional_distance/1000

    

    post /v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer

    

    delete /v17/parents/:dad_id
    

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68. @emotionalAPI
    /v5
    delete /v5/parents/marriage do

    20.times.do {

    Thread.new(get('/feels/fear'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/blame'))

    }

    delete('/feels/self_worth')

    end
    

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69. @emotionalAPI
    /v8
    post /v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer do

    20.times.do {

    Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/fear'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))

    }

    end
    

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70. @emotionalAPI
    /v17
    def /v17/parents/:dad_id do

    1000.times.do {

    Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))

    Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))

    }

    end
    

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71. @emotionalAPI
    Narrator: It did not blow over
    

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72. @emotionalAPI
    Stack Trace
    NoMethodError - undefined method `paternal_approval’ for BossClass:
    /me/feels/panic.rb:9:in `initialize'
    /me/feels/love/daddy:14:in `none_for_you’
    /me/feels/fear/mistake/guaranteed_to_be_fired:21:in `realize_mistake’
    /me/events/releases/prod/bug_count/metrics.rb:39:in `count_bugs’
    

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73. @emotionalAPI
    Stack Trace
    NoMethodError - undefined method `paternal_approval’ for BossClass:
    /me/feels/panic.rb:9:in `initialize'
    /me/feels/love/daddy:14:in `none_for_you’
    /me/feels/fear/mistake/guaranteed_to_be_fired:21:in `realize_mistake’
    /me/events/releases/prod/bug_count/metrics.rb:39:in `count_bugs’
    

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74. “Crying doesn’t indicate you are
    weak, since birth it has always
    been a sign to indicate you are
    alive”
    — attributed to Charlotte Brontë
    

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75. @emotionalAPI
    /v17
    def /v17/parents/:dad_id do

    1000.times.do {

    Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))

    Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))

    }

    end
    

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76. @emotionalAPI
    Diff
    def /v17/parents/:dad_id do

    1000.times.do {
    500.times.do {

    Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))

    Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))

    }

    end
    

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77. @emotionalAPI
    Diff
    get /me/events/releases/prod/bugs/count_high do

    Thread.new(get('/feels/unloved'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/panic'))

    puts 'oops'

    fix_it

    move_on

    end
    

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78. @emotionalAPI
    Baggage
    

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79. @emotionalAPI
    The Ultimate Goal
    

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80. Soft Skills
    Super Hard Skills
    

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81. @emotionalAPI
    Best Practices
    

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82. @emotionalAPI
    Pick One Thing
    

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83. @emotionalAPI
    Compassion
    

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84. DEEP BREATH
    

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85. @emotionalAPI
    Thank You So Much
    Slides: https://speakerdeck.com/johnksawers/hacking-your-emotional-api-2-dot-10
    Videos: http://emotionalapi.com
    Twitter: @emotionalAPI
    Happy to answer questions one-on-one
    Come get a feel wheel!
    

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86. @emotionalAPI
    Sign up at
    http://emotionalapi.com/
    to get the Quick Reference
    The next P3 workshop is
    October 4-6 in Boca Raton, FL
    http://aliceamos.me/p3retreat
    https://www.p3workshops.com/
    

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87. @emotionalAPI
    References
    [1],[2] “…a lack of power impairs our cognitive function.’ Amy Cuddy, Presence 119
    [3] “In fact, people who have a high sense of personal control…cope significantly better in crisis…because their executive
    functions are intact” Amy Cuddy, Presence, 136
    [4] “The [people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating information to extract the gist, detecting
    patterns and relationships” Smith, P.K., Dijkterhuis, A, & Wigbuldus, D.H. Psychology Science, 19, 1258-1259
    [5] “Helping children improve their self-awareness and confidence, manage their disturbing emotional impulses and increase
    their empathy pays off not just in improved behavior but in measurable academic achievement.” — Daniel Goleman,
    Emotional Intelligence xi
    [6] “Those who can mange their emotional lives with more calm and self-awareness … have … distinct and measurable
    health advantage … confirmed by many studies” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xi
    [7] “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.” Amy Cuddy, Presence 127
    [8] “…having high leadership potential were far stronger in EI competencies…” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xiii
    [9] “Powerlessness makes us self-absorbed” Amy Cuddy, Presence 121
    [10] “…when they were asked to name the emotion, the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex activated and reduced the emotional
    amygdala reactivity. In other words, consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.” David Rock, Your Brain At
    Work 127
    [11] Gross found that people who tried to suppress a negative emotional experience failed to do so. While they thought they
    looked fine outwardly, inwardly their limbic system was just as aroused as without suppression. Trying not to feel something
    doesn’t work, and in some cases even backfires. David Rock, Your Brain At Work 119
    [12] The Feeling Wheel http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/036215378201200411
    [13] Valve https://richg42.blogspot.com/2017/09/things-learned-while-running-your-own.html
    

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